Cemeteries

 Tomorrow marks 20 years since my mother died of Alzheimer's.  We drove down to Riverside National Cemetery to put flowers on her grave and to visit the grave of my friend Kaye who is also buried there.  It is a long drive and I had a lot of time to reflect both on the way there and on the way home.

AS I walked along the graves to find their stone, I reflected on the sacrifices of those men and women who are there.  Most of the graves near My folks and Kaye are older people who came home from the war and lived out their lives  There was no active war going on when they died, so the area is filled with soldiers who were presumably not on active duty.  Most near my dad say WWII or Viet Nam.

As I walked along the grass covered graves I thought of this poem .  I thought it was Whitman, but it turns out it was Carl Sandberg.

Grass

By Carl Sandburg

Pile the bodies high at Austerlitz and Waterloo.

Shovel them under and let me work—

                                          I am the grass; I cover all.

And pile them high at Gettysburg

And pile them high at Ypres and Verdun.

Shovel them under and let me work.

Two years, ten years, and passengers ask the conductor:

                                          What place is this?

                                          Where are we now?

                                          I am the grass.

                                          Let me work

I thought about the people I did not know behind the names on the grave markers, saw what their loved ones placed on the headstones  I particularly liked the couple whose stone  ( after their names and dates) read " Forever Ice cream"  It made me smile, as I suppose it was intended to.

I did not have the desire to stand before any of the graves with a cheese-eating grin and a "thumbs up" I thought about how horrible I felt, looking at that picture this morning and I was sick at heart that the candidate and that soldier's family acted like they were at a picnic, rather than mourning her death. Maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe things have changed so much in this country that pictures like that one are the way we do it.  I don't know.

I thought about Arlington. Hallowed ground that began as a "fuck you" to Robert E. Lee whose front lawn was where the first bodies were buried. I found it interesting that the land belonged to Martha Washington's first husband and her son inherited it.  Her great-granddaughter ultimately inherited it.  She was married to Robert E. Lee -so since he was her husband, it became his.

Call me meanspirited, but I do not think that a former president who tried to overthrow the government, wants to destroy the Constitution, got out of the Vietnam war on a false medical diagnosis  and calls our brave soldiers "losers" and "suckers"  Should be buried at Arlington.  Let his rest beside his first wife in an unkept grave on his golf resort/cemetery in New Jersey.    

For Guadalupe

 

I saw you today

In a place we used to go

My heart leapt with joy

and I hurried toward you

Then

The slap of memory

You are gone

and the woman who looked like you

hurried past me

with a sad 

and knowing smile.

Happy Easter

 He is Risen.

With those words, spoken by a woman ( although later are attributed to men) the promise of the Christian Faith was fulfilled.

As I look at faith today, I am struck by how narrow minded it can be.  The Evangelicals who are backing the Orange Monster seem to think they and they alone have an understanding of and an ownership of God.  

The funny thing is they do it with hate.

They hate anyone who is not white

They hate anyone who is gay

They hate anyone who does not conform to their very narrow understanding of a functioning society.

I don't know what Bible they are reading, but the New Testament is all about....  LOVE

Jesus greatest command to his followers was "love ye one another"

I don't think he only meant the 12 guys who were his disciples, but anyone who followed his teachings.

I stopped going to church and following a certain sect of Christianity when I realized the hypocrisy in the congregations I was exposed to, and while I still consider myself a Christian, I don't find any comfort in church.

So today, as I dye my eggs and make a ham- both very traditional celebrations that are vaguely Pagan- I will ponder my faith and why people murder each other over  what amounts to a difference of opinion.

Fani Willis

 Ok  I admit I am confused.   Can someone explain to me like I am a fifth grader just exactly WHAT Ms. Willis did that is worthy of tossing her out? From what I understand she hired a man who is a lawyer to work on a legal case.  Did she have a relationship with him?  Yep.  Was he the best qualified for the job?  Maybe, maybe not  but sometimes you hire someone because you know they will work well with the team even if someone has more "credentials"

At least he HAS credentials unlike a prominent Shoe designer and a Real Estate Developer who were given high profile jobs in a former President's Administration who made a crap-ton of money from that association.  Sure, they didn't get paid by the Government- or that was the claim- but they made around 640 million from "other business ventures" during their time in the White House.  Were THEY qualified?  Nope Just ( and this uses a phrase Trump used in the 80s) "members of the lucky sperm club"

Trump and his lawyers are throwing everything at this to get the case tossed out.  HE DID THE CRIME AND IT IS ON TAPE.  What he did was illegal and he knows his goose is cooked and since it is a STATE case, he or another Rethuglican can't pardon him.  

So, please explain- other than the whims of a liar who has misused the legal system all his working life- WHY this hearing is taking place at all?  Just what did she do that was "misconduct"?

January 15

 

Today we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  We think of him as the voice of the Civil Rights Movement, although many others spoke, Dr. King, with his ministerial eloquence was the voice that resonated most.

It got him murdered.

 I was ten years old when he was shot in Memphis.  His death began a discussion among my fourth-grade peers, as the question I was asking myself and others was “how would I feel if I couldn’t do what other people do, simply because of the color of my skin?”   A simple child’s question but one I still think is valid.

How would you feel if you couldn’t do what other people do because of your:

Race

Creed

Sex or sexual identity.

 

They say we “cherry-pick” his words, but as a ten-year old, living in a thankfully diverse community, these words resonated best with me:

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

As a child, I could see that vision clearly.  As an adult I still cling to that dream.  Do I have pre-programmed biases. Yes, Yes I do, but I do my best to recognize them and dismiss them I remember what I heard once; “Your first thought is what you have been taught, the second is who you are”  I feel better about the way my brain sometimes works, because my second thought is usually WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT???

I have only read snippets of his Letter from Birmingham Jail and recently read how the bits and pieces were smuggled out of the jail and assembled by his staff.  When I can dedicate the proper amount of time to it, I plan to read it.  It is 27 pages, but the depth of his words must be taken in slowly, savored and considered.

But on this day, I will celebrate his success and think about what must be done to keep those who would destroy his work and legacy.

Enough

 

I just finished reading the Cassidy Hutchinson book “Enough” It took me a long time and I have no idea why.  The book is well written and compelling. She takes you from her days as a young starry-eyed employee to the end of the term.  We learn about her childhood (spoiler alert, her father is a rat). She consistently states that she is still a Republican in belief of what the party USED to say were their core values.  She also says she will do everything she can to keep him from taking power again.  This is someone who had close proximity to him.  She knows what he will do the next time around.

The book is worth a read. I doubt it will change anyone’s mind, however.  I placed a hold on the book by Bob Woodward “the Last of the President’s Men:  a book she says gave her the courage to tell the truth and I do believe her.  She knew her career would be over after she said what she said.

I believe her.  I admire her courage and her conviction that she was serving the people of this country, not the former guy.  I live in guarded hope that we will not reelect him, but we need to be prepared for whatever shenanigans he and his henchmen cook up.

Frankly, given his predilection to junk food, I am rooting for the cheeseburger.

 

Poem

 Here goes

I wanted to sleep in

But my nightmares

had other ideas

Waking me

Screaming 

 into the pre-dawn darkness

heart pounding

mouth dry

I cannot remember the dream

only the terror.

and being afraid

to ever sleep again