"There's always Pizza"

It's Father's Day, and all over the internet is the question "what did you learn from your Dad?'  My short answer "There's always Pizza"

Let me explain.

 My Dad was a cook and I got the cooking gene from him.  I enjoy cooking and find it relaxing after a long, stressful day at work.  Maybe it's the act of chopping things into little bits or pounding meat flat.  Maybe it's the comforting smells ( when I can smell anything, due to a BAD head injury about 20 years ago, my sense of smell comes and goes).  Maybe it's having family and friends who are family around my table.  I don't know but..

When my Dad was alive and I would visit, we would head to the grocery store. I would make a few meals, some to eat and some to "put by" in his freezer for later.  I think he appreciated the home cooked meals, but sometimes things wouldn't turn out the way I wanted them to. I'd be swearing up a storm and he would look at me and say "don't worry, there's always pizza"  At the time I thought it was the fact that Little Cesar's was right across the highway and you could get a cheese pie ( the ONLY kind he ate) for about 5 bucks.  But after he died, I realized it was kind of a philosophy.

If you screw something up, or if things don't go as planned, you can always find another option.  You might not have planned on pizza for dinner, but it's always there. 

Sometimes, when things aren't going the way we planned, my husband will look at me and say "well, there's always pizza" and we will laugh. 

Thanks, Dad.  There really IS always pizza.

Suicide, Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade

This week suicide has been in the news, with the deaths of two very successful people who chose to end their lives.  We do not know, and can never really know, what drove them to this final act.

There is a lot of speculation,especially when it comes to Kate Spade.  She had acknowledged mental illness and according to all reports was seeking help.  It just wasn't enough.  Sometimes, it seems to be the only answer.

I read somewhere that suicide does not end the pain, it only transfers it. In the case of Kate Spade, the anger and frustration of her family in grief is spilling out in a very public way.  She had a young daughter.  I hope for her sake the finger pointing will stop and the drawing together will begin.  Her daughter is going to need help.  It is the living, not the dead, that need us now.

I saw on the Facebook page of a friend a post from a vegan woman, celebrating the death of Bourdain, as if she herself were personally responsible for harassing him  to death. Excuse me for missing the point of Veganism, but I guess compassion (in her case) ONLY extends to animals and the human race be damned. I wanted to say to her "Honey, get off your high horse. Anthony Bourdain probably didn't know who you were"  If he left a note, we may know the why.  Speculation is he had a serious medical condition. I didn't want to get into it with her.  She sounded fanatical and with anyone who is in that frame of mind, there is no discussion to be had. Their minds are sealed shut.  Please don't rag on me if you are vegan.  I am NOT saying anything about veganism, just this one woman who seems to think that his death is a victory of some sort.  She made me ill.

The recent suicides have created a rash of postings of the suicide prevention hotline.  All well and good, but hat may not work for everyone.  I saw a post that made me think "If you thought of someone when you saw the news of suicide, please reach out to them to make sure they are ok."  Good idea. Mental health in this country is a dirty secret, as if the Puritan ethic remains a core part of our character.  The Puritans were psycho in my book.  If you are sad and thinking the world would be a better place without you, or that the pain is too much to bear, I hope you can talk to someone. There is no shame in seeking help.  The strongest people need a hand sometimes.