The ice cream store
I went to as a little girl
with my grandmother
closed
My grandmother always got Bing Cherry
I got rainbow sherbet
They sell the brand in the grocery store nowadays
but I doubt they even make Bing cherry anymore
and I never see rainbow sherbet
I think of my grandmother
and things that disappear
when you aren't looking.
Remembering things
that are no longer there
I close my eyes
try to smell it
taste it
touch it
to be in that place for that moment
back in that long forgotten time
in the bubbles of my memories
that burst
and leave me
emptier than I was before
I "owe" two more
Coffee brews on the counter
Soup simmers on the stove
The cold snap of November
Presses against the kitchen window
I am thankful
for hard decisions made
that led me to
the peace of my kitchen
on this early Sunday morning.
Is it bad
that I crave chocolate in the morning
I read somewhere
that craving sweets means you are low on protein
But the only eggs I crave
are the chocolate ones
filled with caramel
or cream
or
well you get the picture
Chocolate is one of the four basic food groups
Medicine for when you are sad
It is said that the response to chocolate is similar to falling in love
so
let me fall in love
every morning
with chocolate
I saw an angel
in the clouds the other day
Long flowing
gown
long flowing
hair
She sailed gracefully
between the sun and the earth
and slowly blew away
in gossamer strands
across the baby blue sky
Waiting for the rain
I can smell it coming
I can feel it
in my chest and in my bones
but the storm is far off in the hills
it may never come to the valley
but we will see the lightening
hear the thunder
that will keep us
jumping in our sleep
They visit my dreams
those passed on
for whom my love
has no place to go
Except in dreams
a final goodbye
a resolution of old wounds
a comfort that
they are happy
healed
and causing mischief
in wherever we wind up
at the end of this road.
The War to End All Wars
How naïve they were
to believe
that men would simply stop fighting
over plots of dirt and rock
of rivers
of oil
Somehow
they believed we could all overlook
greed
or lust
or any of the other
seven deadly sins
that start men fighting amongst themselves
They say that women
are too weak to rule
I think it's time
to test that theory out
Mornings are quiet
except in my brain
which is like
a rocket launch
the minute my eyes
pop open
Even before coffee
my brain organizes
an impossible "to-do" list
still I breathe
pray
and cross things off the list
reserving the undoable
for another day
Early morning philosophy
would be better
if I had more coffee
Staring out the window
as the day creeps across the desert city
I try to clear my mind
but Zen escapes me
as usual
and the chatter I am trying to ignore
returns.
I don't know
what the answer is
but I am sure I won't find it
in a bag of potato chips.
Remembering a poem
by Stephen Crane
I shrug off
my one-way conversation
with the Universe
and peer into the bag
for an unbroken chip.
In Spring and Summer
The river sleeps
nestled in her concrete bed
In Autumn, she wakes,
slowly stretching
waiting for the fury
that is the winter
Young trees
trying to grow
in the earth and slow trickle
of the earlier months
disappear
bend and break
to add to the tumult
of cascading water
roaring through the center of the city
toward the sea.
\
Spent
the last
twenty-four hours
Looking at cactus
and Joshua trees
Waiting for the roadrunner
to appear
in my side yard
( alas, just a plastic bag ran across the dirt)
Finding memories
I thought I had dealt with
surprising tears
all my inner strength
depleted.
all my empty grief
Rising to the surface
with no place to go
My upstairs neighbor's calico cat
lounges in their dining room window
the sun dappling her fur
the essence of unflappable
I hurry past
she looks down at me from her perch
raises and eyebrow
as if to say
"Slow down human
enjoy the morning sun."
I smile
raise a hand in salute
and move off
to begin my day
Thinking today
of heroes
and villains
Of people
who rise to the occasion
and people who choose
to hurt others
and laugh
as if humankind
were some kind of video game
I have news for you
In real life
the dead don't get to reanimate.
You get one shot at redemption
And this ain't it.
There is a cricket
in my upstairs bathroom
I watched him
walk across the floor
at the base
of the bathtub
I blinked
and lost him
So he remains there
My ancestors say
that crickets are lucky
that killing one brings misfortune
So I embrace my heritage
and leave the cricket to his songs
and his own devices.
The LA River is called a "seasonal river" I've been thinking about it this morning. I pass it on my way to and from work, crossing the old bridges in the downtown area.
Autumn is here
is all her glory
the trees
turn their leaves to final bright colors
before scattering them
in the cold wind
I wait for the river to return
it's been a slow trickle all Summer
but soon, with the rains
it will fill and cascade
down the concrete canyons
we have constructed to contain her
but we can never
completely contain
the surge of the river
We must be mindful
and leave respectful distance
as we watch its powerful journey
to the sea.
