Funerals

 About a week ago, my next door neighbor and a long cherished friend both left this earth.  While there will probably be no official service for my friend, yesterday I attended the services for my neighbor, who at 93 had lived a full and rich life.

I sat in the pew of the church reflecting.  The ceremony was in Armenian, except for some of it, which was bi-lingual. It gave me time to think about my neighbor, while the singing washed over me- the ceremony is mostly sung. I haven't attended church since I was a pre-teen, as I found that the church I was going to really weren't getting the "Love ye one another"  thing that Jesus espoused.  PLEASE don't jump on me and tell me I should come to YOUR Church , that it is different.  I tried that several times and realized that I don't get the peace that other people say they do from a sermon.  I have a connection to my Creator and that is all I need. Conversely, if you are atheist, don't jump on me for my belief system.  It works for me and you trying to cram your beliefs ( and it IS a belief) down MY throat is just as bad, as you are ALSO trying to convert me.

When the priest read from the Gospel according to Paul. I knew I was in trouble.  Paul is a misogynist and something of a pompous  jerk IMHO and this reading was no exception.  I looked at the floor and gritted my teeth when he intoned that "heaven was for Christians and ONLY Christians"  Ok then.  not going to Heaven.  Check.

He went back and forth about the Second Coming and how all souls would rise, then told us that my neighbor was with God.  Pick one belief or the other.  I don't get it.

I never look at the face of the deceased. I don't want my last memory to be that.  Probably has to do with my mother forcing me to kiss my dead grandmother at 7 years old.  I still remember it, almost 60 years later.

We went to the gravesite and put flowers and handfuls of dirt in the grave.  I hate that and usually avoid the graveside portion, but we needed to go, as her daughter, who is also my neighbor, requested it.  The service itself was traditional and I believe brought great comfort to the family.  For me, I never liked being preached to, but I am not being critical of what was done as a final farewell

But funerals are for the living, and the rituals of death and funerals are often a comfort. Grief is love with nowhere to go, as they say.  I'm tired of death.  Can someone get married or have a baby??