Thursday, October 29, 2015

Me. 29 years later

It was 29 years ago today ( no not Sgt Pepper) but a 28 year old me started work in Branch Library Services.  I was an "in -lieu" Administrative Assistant ( I was still a Junior Administrative Assistant at the time)  I was nervous, but happy.  I was going "home" to the Library Department.  I was mightily unhappy at the Department of Transportation, where the Old Boy Network thwarted my professional development at every turn. I was told to make coffee and answer the phones -this by my supervisor who did not like conflict and when I complained about my treatment basically told me to shut up.  I told him to write me a good review and I would transfer.  I reminded him that a bad review would keep me in his unit, but a good one would get rid of me.  He saw the logic of my reasoning and wrote me a decent review. The song "Solsbury Hill" by Peter Gabriel was my "theme"song at that time.  About making choices and sticking to them and going "home" in the process.  To me, the Library was and is home.  At one point in time, I wanted to be a Librarian, but I worked for a woman who was so vile, I did not pursue that, left the Department and became a Management Analyst.  The job is a good fit for me and it has been a wonderful adventure.  Most of the time, I love what I do. It can be maddening and frustrating, but the job of getting repairs made to branches impacts a lot of people in this city.  I have been doing it for so long, I know who to call for what without thinking. I am fortunate to have good working relationships with other departments, which has been a long road.  When I first started there, the department that handles our repair work was , shall we say "resistant"?to helping us.  Thankfully, those who were like that have long since retired and the people I worked with in the early days have moved up to supervisory positions and understand where we are coming from in out requests.   I remember one supervisor who would routinely deny my emergency requests, telling me he had already had one nervous breakdown on the job he wasn't going to have another  one so no he would NOT send an electrician out to my branch today to fix anything.  When he retired, I had a party- he wasn't invited!

So today, I celebrate what has become my career.  I never think of it in those terms and I suppose I should.  This is not just a job, it's an adventure, as the old Army commercial goes, and I pity the person who comes after me.  They tell me I should write a manual, but I am not sure that would help much.  When I took this job, my predecessor left me three phone numbers and a note that said "good luck"  I am not sure that a manual would be much better than that.

Driving in Los Angeles

Is it me, or is there just more traffic on the road these days?  I drive about 20 miles to work and it has been taking me well over an hour to get to work.   Mostly because of rude drivers.  Whatever happened to courtesy?   Now it's ME ME ME  and "I may be slow but I'm ahead of you"  Maybe it's MY problem with mini road rage but honestly tell me I am wrong in this situation:

I get off the freeway at Stadium Way and go up the hill through Elysian Park to get to Sunset.  A lot of people do this and sometimes the right turn lane goes all the way down the hill to the curve.  No problem, I get in line when I see it forming.  Sometimes people try to get over and there is a place in my mind where you should have NOTICED all the OTHER drivers were lined up and try to get into the line.  You should NEVER EVER zoom past everyone and try to cut in near the corner where the turn actually is.  THAT is why the line takes so long.  all these entitled morons ( mostly, I note, in Mercedes and Lexus') who feel that cutting in line AFTER the solid white line is their right.  I'm a "B" after a certain demarcation which in my mind is acceptable to try to enter the line.  I would be willing to bet these people took "cuts" in school all the time too!

I am dreading the time change next week.  That seems to discombobulate people even more.  Yes, you now need to turn on your headlights when driving home from work.  It's Fall.  Get over it.  The first week after return to Standard time is a NIGHTMARE.

When I was a teenager, back in the stone ages, driving used to be fun and something you would do for entertainment "Let's go for a drive!"   I wonder when it became a drag or as the Police song says we are "Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes"  We spend more time in our cars than we do in our homes and I don't think we get a lot of pleasure out of it.  I see kids packed in the backs of Urban Assault Vehicles ( SUVs)   with the video monitor to entertain the,  We are just packing them into mobile living rooms.  I get kind of annoyed.  Remember when you would look at the SCENERY or play car games to entertain you?  I wonder if we are contributing to the rise in ADD in kids by constantly force feeding them entertainment and not expecting them to use their imagination to create their own entertainment?   Are we "medicating" them by not expecting them to look at things around them and discover and wonder about things?  I don't have that kind of stuff in my car and the few times my grandson has ridden with me, I talk to him or sing a bit, but he's a baby and quickly falls asleep anyway!.  I hope to have long conversations with him about what we see on the road when he is old enough to travel with me!

I'd better get moving.  Traffic on the 2 awaits!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Thinking about time, memory and Back to the Future

This week a lot of people have been talking about the movie "Back to the Future"  which was a sweet film that I am sure could not be made today.  It was light entertainment, with serious themes of dealing with bullies and struggling with identity, but I have a real problem with the whole idea of going back in time and changing the past.  Here it is;  if you successfully went back in time and changed it, wouldn't that change be all you knew, so there would be no difference in the future you knew?  I mean, your being there made certain things happen and the progression of time would be as you knew it in the future.  Does that make sense?  And while I loved the movie, that thought occurred to me , when he arrives back in the 1980's that it should have been no different than the one he left because he had already done that in the past.

There's a line in a Jackson Browne song "while the future's there for anyone to change, still, you know, it seem it would be easier sometimes to change the past"  A lot of people change the past.  They reinvent their history or history in general, telling a story over and over until it becomes clearer than the reality.  I recently , jokingly, told one of my oldest friends that we should get together and mis-remember our childhood together. It's funny when you are talking to someone , remembering an event you both were present for and each of you has a distinct, contrary memory of it.  It's pointless to argue with someone when they are so firm in their memory about something.  Sometimes I wonder if my memory is playing tricks on me or that, like my mother, I have Alzheimer's. I don't think I do but sometimes when my mind can't find the right word for something I panic. Watching my brilliant, funny mother fade away bit by bit was probably the most heartbreaking thing I have had to go through.  I miss her terribly these days and wish she were here to talk to. I "talk" to her all the time and sometimes I can hear her, but it's not the same.  I think what I am going through is just age and an inordinate amount of stress, which I am trying to disperse and hopefully in the next few months things will ease up. Phrases from songs that talk about time and patience, reminding me that everything happens in it's own time are resonating with me today. Ecclesiastes 3, which the Byrds turned into a song  reminds me that to everything there is a season and that the past, the present and the future are all tied together.  We are taught that time is linear, but I often wonder if time is an artificial conceit, conceived as a way to keep communities of people organised for survival.

Still at some point, I would like to revisit "Back to the Future" if just to see an old friend long since passed, who is a character actor at the beginning of the film.  I only want to see the first one.  The next two were shameless attempts to recapture the magic of the first one,  In Hollywood, they say " a sequel never equals" but that does't stop them from making them.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Speaking in Metaphor

"Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice mission, and when it was over, I never wanted another."

I woke up this morning thinking about this quote, well not the whole quote but just about wanting a mission and being given one "for my sins"  I often think about it, the "be careful what you wish for the Universe will grant it" type of thing.    I could use a little wish granting these days and if magic is desire made real ( I read that recently) then I could use a bit of magic too.

There is far to much on my plate and although I have done my best to delegate and scale back, something always happens and  more is heaped on my plate.  I always say, when things get overwhelming, take small bites, so today I am going to look thoughtfully at my plate and see which bites I can finish and which will have to wait.

Every so often, you really should stop and evaluate where you are and where you are going , consult the psychic road-map if you will.  That is where I am now.  What is is that I really want and need and what is it that I need to finish and move away from.  I am at a crossroads of sorts and I am waiting for more information about a few things I have no control over before I can proceed with anything. The next two or three weeks should tell and whatever it is I need to do, there will be a definite road to take.  Ultimately it becomes clear and there is no other path to take.  It might be a rough road, but with my husband who always has my back and my hand  and with friends who give love and support I will be ok.

Every morning, before I think about my needs, I try to remember to count my blessings and be grateful for them.  It's easy to say "I want! I want!" , but I must remember that I HAVE and be thankful for that.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Thursday morning thoughts

I was off work for a few days and I did watch SOME daytime television.  It's changed somewhat since the days when I was home a lot during the day.  I don't think there are any soap operas left, which is a shame because now all there seems to be are talk shows that strive to be identical.  What ever happened to originality?  They all seem to have the same mix of people, you know, the black woman, the ditsy blonde the educated woman and the comic foil.  They have a male version of this as well.  UGH.   I wound up watching a marathon of "The First 48"  which is interesting, but a lot of it IS staged- the cameras always seem to be there when the cops get THE call that breaks the case.  Still it is a look into how real police work is done and far more interesting than the talking heads who bicker.

Which leads me to commercials.   Suddenly there are WAY too many advertisements for toilet paper.  "enjoy the go?"  The one with the bears that reminds us that we all "go" and we should enjoy it?  There is another that focuses on the musings of various bathroom statuary, remarking on what they have to look at every day.  Now , THERE"S a pleasant thought, but the one that got me was what I believe was a British commercial, where the woman stood outside a makeshift privy and asked guys if they felt secure enough to "go commando" after using this particular brand of toilet paper.  That to me was a new low.  Toilet paper commercials WANT yo to think about wiping your backside, which I suppose is the point , but they used to just talk about strength and softness,not the acts that led up to the use of the paper.

I was watching a Target commercial and it made me sad.  There was a young girl, lying on her back listening to music in her headphones.  The camera pans out to show about six other young girls in a circle with her , heads touching, all listening to music.  Is THAT how teens are? I remember sharing songs on the radio or on the record player, singing along or talking about the music or the band.  The only time I used headphones was when I was not with my friends and I wanted to spare my folks the "noise" while I knitted or embroidered.  It drove home the point that technology has really alienated us from one another.  A recent survey on AARP ( yes, I'm a member) cited the Internet as being the reason we don't know our neighbors.  I make it a point to talk to mine.  We live in a small old apartment building and I do know most of my neighbors, at least to say hello.  We have dinner and go out to do things with a few of our neighbors on a regular basis.  I wonder if the next generation will do that type of thing.  We are so often distrustful of other people's motives and I wonder why.  I wish that I did not find myself wondering sometimes if someone is just nice because they want something.   I would like to believe that most people are kind because they CAN be, not because they need to be for some goal other than to help someone in need.  I will strive for that.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Poem

Traveling across
the wide expanse of Nevada Desert
I see angels in the clouds
They fly
dance
spin
wave and beckon to me
welcomingly.

Others see
animals
and airplanes
in the shapes in the sky
I only see angels
and the wisps of what they were.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Vacation ups and downs- now that I'm home

I didn't post anything because the Aquarius in Laughlin charges 12 buck a day for internet, I am cheap and my laptop is too old to handle the high-speed anyway.  So here is what I think will be my final thoughts on this vacation.

I think I lost weight on this vacation.  I know, I know, usually people gain weight, but I didn't eat a lot  this time, the food wasn't all that good.  My friend Tom says I always complain about the food and I suppose he is right. Chris and I were talking about one of the two good places and I said "well I won't downgrade them because the food was not to my liking, it was well cooked and lots of it"  Chris pointed out I talk like a restaurant reviewer, which I suppose I do.


We had been told there was a wonderful place for pie in Williams , the Country Pine, so we made a point to go there before leaving town.  Frankly, I was disappointed.  I got peach pie which is one of my favorites.  They used CANNED PIE FILLING! I should know,as I am a pretty fair scratch baker.  Chris got the chocolate cream cheese and it was just ok.  He and I talked about the pies I needed to make when I get home, Including a new twist on my chocolate- orange pie.  The food at the Country pine was microwaved.

We had HORRIBLE food in Laughlin as well as some amazing food in Laughlin.  NEVER, and I mean NEVER eat at the Windows on The River in the Aquarius.  Here is what I posted on my Yelp review:


Where to begin?  I suppose it's best to begin at the beginning.  I should have turned around when I first looked  at the offerings on a Tuesday night,  The "fruit station" had leftover meat from the sandwich bar from lunch  ( this was DINNER around 8 pm)  The cooked meats looked like they too were leftover from lunch , dried and curled up.  The "carving station " featured a roasted PINEAPPLE that they "chef" was carving up.  I tried the corn from the sad little salad bar, it was vinegar-ed so badly I spit it into my napkin. But the FINAL straw was that the piece of pie I thought might make me feel better about the place had MOLD!  At 20 bucks a person I felt violated.



Chris had several "meals" at McDonald's  I actually had a Happy Meal at one point.  Chris has been having some real trouble with his hip pain, several times I could see that the pain was way too much for him to bear so we rented a scooter.  I could NOT have pushed him in a wheelchair, as my knees are not doing so well either and there was a LOT of walking at the Grand Canyon. The scooter was well worth the money and it really made a difference in our trip experience. We decided to "motor" over to the Pioneer to get breakfast. I thought it would be ok and I could walk it. It was a HELL of a lot farther than we remembered and the River-walk was closed at some points so we wound up zigzagging through the parking lots of several casinos before making it to Bumbleberry Flats.  It was WORTH it.  I got a waffle and eggs that were so yummy I ate too much.  I also treated myself to an Irish coffee to cope with the pain in my knees.  There was NO WAY I could walk back and no one could confirm that the water taxi could take the scooter, so Chris "motored" back and I took the taxi.  It was nice to be on the river and the captain assured me that the taxis CAN take the scooter ( except to the Nugget where the step is too steep).  When it came time for dinner, we went next door to Daniel's on the River. Here is what I said on Yelp:


We went for dinner, more out of desperation than anything else.  We had not found a good meal in Laughlin other than Bumbleberry Flats.  It was a Wednesday night- apparently two for-one burger night and the place was packed!  It took a LONG time to get our meal, my husband ordered the Chef's salad and I got a Philly cheese-steak.  we were BOTH really impressed, the salad had real cooked chicken, not the weird processed meat you often find in a Chef's salad.  My cheese-steak was perfectly seasoned, the veggies cooked just right and BEST OF ALL the bread had been toasted on the grill, not microwaved.  YUM! The server apologized for the long wait and they did keep up well supplied with iced tea during the wait for the food. We went again for breakfast the next morning as it was next to the hotel we were staying in and I did not feel  like walking or driving very far.  The breakfast was HUGE and very satisfying.  A half- order of biscuits and gravy would be a full order anywhere else.  The service was excellent.

We did take the River Cruise, a 90 minute ride on the river with  a tour that gave you the history of Laughlin. We opted for a small snack and a drink on the cruise and were pleasantly surprised that one of the waitstaff, Tiffany, remembered us from the dinner cruise we took back in November!  I recommend both the dinner cruise and the tour, which at ten buck a person is a bargain ( the dinner cruise is a bit more pricey BUT you get dinner and it's good!) It was a lovely day and we shared the table with three people from Australia.  You meet the nicest people when you share a table.  When we were leaving Williams, we went for the final breakfast at the Depot Cafe.  Meals were included and while it was nothing to write home about, it was still ok food.   The line was VERY long and time as short, as they stopped serving around 9.  The hostess asked if anyone wanted to share a table.  A few people said NO!  I can't understand that.  We said "sure" and were seated with a nice couple from Texas.  We got to talking about libraries.   The husband said that he had been driving through his hometown with his dad and both had remarked that they were surprised it was still in business.  I got really enthusiastic about how libraries are providing this amazing service and began to tell them all the things that LAPL does and I encouraged him to check out HIS local library to see what they provide.  They were from Austin and I think their library is probably a pretty good one.  He said he would and I believe he just might.  It's strange to me to find people that don't use libraries, as they had always been a part of my life, even before I started back working there as an adult.  Readers raise readers, as the saying goes, and my mom and her mom were readers.

I am back to work today, as a medical procedure next week (nothing serious) has me off for a few days.   It's good to be back in my own bed, even though most of the beds were pretty comfortable, The bed at Harrah's was strange and it wasn't until the second day that I really looked at it and realized it was not sitting square on the box spring. THAT explained it.  We did NOT get any housekeeping service while we were at Harrah's, as they tried to come in the room after we had been out all day- around 4 or 4:30 and we were resting. It was ok.  I like staying at Harrah's because we WIN at Harrah's.


Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Vacation ups and downs- the Grand Canyon

I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon.  It's been on my "bucket list" for as long as I can remember.  My first husband wouldn't take me there he'd "already seen it"  Chris had too, but he wanted me to see it.  I had heard about the train ride from Williams to the Grand Canyon and the  price was pretty reasonable, so we planned to go.    There's a James Taylor song that among other things, poses the question "what happens when it rains for eight days on your week off?"  The weather was scorching in Laughlin, be here it was "brisk"  almost wintery- well Winter in California, I keep forgetting I am in Arizona.

I suppose I have lived in Los Angeles too long and been in too many artificial places.  I kept looking at the fences that separated the cow pastures from the train tracks and wondering if the pattern were deliberate or it was just what they had.  I saw split-rail fences and weathered red barns fly by on the two plus hour trip up the hill.  There were cows.  Lots of cows.  It was interesting to watch them running or walking in a line across the fields.  Chris and I tried to come up with a name for the desert landscape, not exactly a prairie, I thought of Chaparral, which seemed most to fit.

The train ride was nice.  I am glad we opted for the first class, which was about 20 bucks more.  They served snacks and coffee.  I was thinking I should not drink so much coffee, but it was nice to have coffee and pastries..  We HAD had breakfast at the Depot Cafe, it's part of the package.  The food is like a bad Denny's, but it's relatively hot and it's in the hotel compound so I guess that's ok.  The next time, and we decided there WILL be a next time, we are opting for the observation seats, which are on the second level of the train and have a glass bubble around them.  There was entertainment on the train and it was amusing ( I STILL don't like the train robbers)


You cannot imaging, if you have not seen it, how vast and beautiful the Grand Canyon is.  It was really overcast.  It had been raining on the way up to the Canyon but we figured we would get some beautiful pictures in the rain.  Chris was determined that it would clear up just before we got there and it did.  I got some pretty awesome ( if I do say so myself) photos of the Canyon.  The tour was a great introduction to the park, but next time, and as I said, there WILL be a next time, we are going off on our own,

The weather cooperated and we did not have more than a drizzle while we were on the tour,.  At the last stop there was a HUGE rumble of thunder and as we wee heading back to the train the skies opened up.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

vacation ups and downs day 2

This is really day three but Chris says the best part of being on vacation is forgetting what day it is.  That is all well and good if you don't have an itinerary, but we do, at least for tomorrow we do.  We will be taking the train to the Grand Canyon.  We have a tight schedule for the trip.  I hope we make it.  We have to Board the train at 9:15  we might miss the "wild West" show, which is probably just like the one in Pioneertown and Oatman and dozens of other places, including Knotts Berry Farm.  I won't be upset if I miss that.

I could give a pass on the food and entertainment at the Grand Depot Cafe.  It wasn't bad but it wasn't great.  The entertainment, however was downright painful.  One guy, singing, playing guitar and drums and "singing" from a list of songs.  I suppose the idea is that you request from his list and tip him.  Can I give him 20 bucks not to play for an hour?  Perhaps we should ask his hourly rate and take up a collection.  Chris and I were playing a ghastly version of "name that tune" based n his playlist and the lyrics we could understand.  He mumbled, some and either swallowed or made up the rest.  We took pity on the server for having to listen to that and tipped her "hazard pay"

Speaking of food, and when do I not?  We made a visit last night to our favorite place in Laughlin, Bumbleberry Flats.  We had an outstanding meal, we shared the twisted turkey dinner;which featured a sage stuffing waffle.  Some places have taken to making waffle-esque things out of mashed potatoes and stuffing.  It was quite good and filling!  For breakfast we went to the Coyote Cafe II in Bullhead City.  Typical diner food but really attentive servers and a pleasant vibe.

We will try the breakfast and as it is part of the package probably go back for dinner at the Depot Cafe.  Nothing to write home about.


Saturday, October 3, 2015

Vacation ups and downs- Day 1

I needed a vacation.  Everyone has been telling me that and I have to agree.  We are in Laughlin.  I needed time near the water, UNFORTUNATELY the river is very low and the whole idea of taking a river cruise and just watching the river run now needs to be re-evaluated.  ARGH.

I will never eat at Harrah's buffet again.  I had an unpleasant experience.  It's expensive- well, pricy for what they offer- and I went to get dessert.  SOME of the desserts had warnings on them about nuts, I am allergic and I really SHOULD know better at this stage of the game.  I asked the person behind the counter if the strudel had nuts and she said "not that i'm aware of" so I got a piece.  seriously a lot of the other desserts said they had nuts so I MISTAKENLY assumed that the warnings were done universally.  NOPE!  A few bites in, I discover the walnuts.  I am only mildly allergic to walnut ( well I think so, I really never liked the taste of them so I don't really know)  I took an antihistamine and asked to speak to the manager .  I din't WANT anything from him, I wasn't asking for a comp or anything, I just wanted him to know what happened. His answer?  " we change the recipe all the time so I can't tell what's in it every day"  REALY?  Now I know traditional strudel does have walnuts ( except mine which has raisins)  I said "I'm allergic.  YOU COULD KILL SOMEONE by not warning them,"  He did not look like that statement was registering with  him.

Chris hit a fairly large jackpot.  We were fooling around in the casino.  He was down to the last 8 bucks in the machine and he said, "aw, I'm going to max bet the last two pulls"  I told him to go for it.  I was tired.    He hit $2,800 on the very last pull.  NOW our vacation just got a whole lot better!

Still, the reason I came here, to relax by the river is not going to work out as planned.  Time to regroup and see what else there is to do here.  We leave tomorrow for Arizona