deconstructing

I'm out in 29 Palms again, doing some heavy lifting.  I am helping my daughter and son-in-law get the house ready for the arrival of their son.  Yesterday, I bit the bullet and went through my Dad's clothes.  It was hard, but I just put my head down and kept going.  Danny encouraged me to stop, but I told him that I had to do it now or it would never get done.  I made it without too much drama.  I promised the kids I would find a place to donate everything to.  I need a place that will pick up here in 29, so if anyone knows someone like that, please message me.  We have some furniture too.  Most of the stuff is "Danish Modern" it's all over 50 years old which technically makes it a new antique or something, but we are ready to give it away.  None of us have any room for it anyway.  Still it's hard to see my childhood there and to get rid of the leavings of our lives.  I want to keep it all, to hug it to me tightly and not let go, but that is not practical.  I live in a small apartment with scant storage space for the things Chris and I have collected over the years.  Still I am bringing back a few things and will take one or two more when I come back in two weeks.   The target is to get the room ready before mid July.

We are helping our neighbor do the same thing, clean out his storage unit before the end of the month.  He, too, struggles with memories that tumble out of a box of shoes or a cap that he once wore.  I am trying to be firm but gentle with him, knowing that this is a difficult but necessary step in the process of getting on with our lives.  A friend of his told him just to get rid of everything, but that seems unnecessarily harsh, especially given his reaction to finding a cherished item in a box.  I tell him that if he can't deal with parting with it just now he doesn't have to.  He can take it home and keep it until he is ready to let it go.  He is making good progress with the unit and I hope that what we are doing will help him along.

Still, as I go back to the house to sort through another part of my family's life, I hope I have the courage to let go.  The past can be wings or it can be a millstone.  It's really up to me to decide which it will be.