For Greg

When you placed
the gun against your head
and tried
to blow away the demon
you thought was lurking there
you missed

You didn't kill the pain
You broke it into
an extraordinary number of pieces
that flew
into the hearts
and the souls
of those who loved you

It's not the part of you
we need inside us

We needed  part of your warmth
your zeal
your humor
your grace

Instead
along with memories of better days
and longing to have
just one more talk
one more meal
one more
day
We have your pain

We will carry that inside us
it will rise to the surface
When we remember your laughter,
When we reconsider your words
When we speak your name