Laughlin

  Chris said- and I Agreed- that I needed a change of scene.  We get free rooms at Harrah's in Laughlin so we booked a stay.

I am currently looking at the sun glistening on the Colorado River.  Being near water is healing for me, but things have changed and I will be reevaluating my affection for this particular hotel.

First, it is not that well kept.  I found crumbs from a muffin on the worktable near the window.  I  brought my disinfectant and scrubbed and cleaned- if I wanted to do THAT I could have stayed home.

I think the people across the hall are either into something illegal or they have a bunch of idiot friends.  People come and go at all hours and yesterday around 5 pm when I was resting- this vacation IS about taking a freaking NAP whenever I want- two people banged on their door shouting POLICE OPEN UP.  Now, I am not doing anything illegal, but it ramped up my heart rate so much I needed extra meds.  Hope they leave today.  We are here until Thursday 

I am using the Buzz Around scooter, as my right knee has a nasty habit of giving way at the most inopportune times. I can walk with a cane, but it's tiresome and I can't keep up with Chris who is using a scooter.Being temporarily disabled makes me more aware of disability.  I can't open some doors.  I am invisible to people.  People seem to think it's fun, using a scooter. Last night some drunk woman made as if she were jumping on my scooter and said "Oh, I wish I could have one of those"  I said something to the effect that I would trade my knees for hers, but she was giggling and stumbling with her friend. .  Some people's children.

Food here is passable. Gone are any buffets- a victim of Covid- and the places that are open are so slammed they don't have time to properly prepare anything.  Last night, we went to Smashburger and the food was terrible.  I couldn't even eat the sweet potato fries .  They have one size drink with NO refills. The size is small and I wound up giving Chris both drinks. The trash can was overflowing and I think they expect customers to clean and sanitize the tables.  You would think, being one of the few OPEN businesses in this hotel they would hire more people.  We will not eat there again.  We are probably going to the grocery store and bringing back some fixings- no microwave but some kind of food, even if it's sandwiches and potato salad. 

Chris and I are going across the river to Arizona.  There is a museum and a distillery in Kingman that looks like it might be fun.  I hope to post a more upbeat review later on.

Saturday thoughts about nothing

I was thinking the other day about English and how hard it must be to learn if you speak another language.   English is a very confusing language, having been cribbed from other languages, living and dead.   

Take for instance the word "score"   I was thinking about this because of the song " Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac.  She sings  "and the songbird keeps singing like they know the score."  for YEARS, I associated this with the score of a game, the slang would mean that you know what's going on.   It dawned on me, as I was washing my dishes the other day, that it meant a MUSICAL score.  ummm.  I thought about the word itself.  Bear with me, but score can mean:

• A piece of music
• the total points in a game
• to make a cutting in something- like scoring a vegetable to make it pretty
• to make a point in a game

See what I mean?   English can be darn tricky.

There is a coffee cup I have seen online that I think I need.  It says "I am silently correcting your grammar."  Yep.  I have learned over the years that it is not up to me to correct someone when they misspeak, but the thing that makes me crazy is the misuse of "I" and "me"  Frankly, I won't get into parts of speech, because grammar can be boring- except for the class I took at CSUN  taught by poet Ann Stanford  SHE made grammar interesting and important.  

The best way to tell whether to us "Me" or  "I" when you are listing a group of people and you want to include yourself is to drop all the other names and see if you would use one or the other if it stood alone.  I have often found that to be helpful  although I am USUALLY pretty  good with that part of speech.  

Using an adjective when you desperately need an adverb is also a pet peeve.

Still I am happy these days when I actually HAVE human interaction.  I got the first shot yesterday and apart from a sore arm, I am not feeling any adverse effects.    The next one in in late April .  I am looking forward to have this behind me.

Sunday To Monday Ramblings

 This week, we celebrated St Patrick's Day- normally a huge boozy event ( although not at my house in years)  I celebrated with a friend who is in my "pod" and had a wee dram of whiskey.  Traditional meal included Corned beef and cabbage, with potatoes and carrots, Irish soda bread and my "grandmother's spice cake."   My kids swooped by and picked up some leftovers- I am pleased to say that both my grandsons like corned beef.

Every year, I think about what it must have meant to be Irish in the early 1900's  My family came here in the 1890's, which means they survived the Great Famine and came here later.  I know the Irish couldn't get jobs or in some places, buy land.  A lot of them took "unwanted" jobs- Cops and firefighters.  Those became prized jobs with good pay over the years, but back then they were looked down upon.

I actually started writing this yesterday and life intruded, so here I am on Monday morning, trying to pick up the thread of meaning.

I have been reading messages on Facebook regarding the rise in attacks on Asian people.  This has been going on for years, but has accelerated thanks in no small part to the Orange Shitgibbon.  He is still trying to overthrow the government, trying to destabilize everything in hopes of avoiding the judgment of law he so richly deserves.  I honestly CAN'T with people who say, "oh leave him alone.  That's in the past" Ok   so I rob a bank, shoot your grandmother, burn down your house and I should be left alone because it is in the past?  Sheesh.  

I see a lot of hand wringing from people of my ethnic background, complaining that not all of us are racist.  That's true.   I have two, somewhat conflicting thoughts

1-The shoe is on the other foot and it doesn't feel so good, does it?  Does it give you pause, to think how people of color feel every day and this has been going on... forever?  Maybe it will make you think , if you actually lump someone into a group , based on the color of their skin or where their ancestors hailed from.

2-How does it feel, if you are a person of color, to apply the same vitriol you have been fighting for years to another person?   Does it make you feel bigger? Braver?  Empowered?  Maybe for a moment or two, but it is no more right when you do it than when we do it.

  Do we need to punish or do we need to heal? Obviously this statement is in direct conflict with the need to punish a criminal whose acts have caused such grief in this country.  Is racism in and of itself a crime?  No, I don't think so.  It's when you ACT on that belief that you are somehow better than someone, work to injure that person in some way , that it becomes a crime.  

I know in recent years, there have been complaints about people using Dr. Martin Luther King's words to prove a point, but as a child I heard this and it has always resonated with me:

    "I look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their        character"

Simple words, with great power.  I remember too, something I heard and try to keep in my mind as I struggle with biases I did not know I had.  The first thought you have is what you have been conditioned to think, the second is who you are.  Sometimes I think   WHOA  where did THAT come from and brush it out my mental threshold and out of my head.  We can all do better.  As Maya Angelou said "Once you know better, do better."

I hope to.

When a plan comes together and your words do their job

I've been writing this blog for a while, trying to get  my skills back, or maybe amuse myself or maybe someone else will get something out of it.

Last night I got a message from someone that made me happier than I have been about this blog on a long time.  I wrote a piece about my friend Kaye Thomas, who had died and how we fought to get him a proper military burial ( he had a PURPLE HEART for goodness sake). I posted his full name in the title, hoping that someone from his family might see it and know what happened.  I got a note from a distant cousin.  

It worked.  

The thing I meant for that piece to do ( Happy Birthday, Kay Darwin Thomas https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/6665959645641290322/4882147872705152208)   reached its intended audience.   It gave me a small peace in my heart.

I have one or two people who comment, and I REALLY APPRECIATE seeing their thoughts on my musings.  I can see how many views I have had and sometimes, I am surprised at the number of people who have read it.  I suppose if I had more time to really devote to this, I might write more consistently and really create something out of this.

For now, I just want to keep writing something, with my cup of coffee before I dive into my day.  Knowing that the words I put online in 2013   FINALLY made it is sort of a "message in a bottle"

Thanks for reading.

Monday International Women's Day ( I started this yesterday and life intruded)

 Monday morning and I have nothing in my head. Pandemic nightmares continue to wake me and going back to sleep, I fall right back into them.   I try getting up for a bit, reading something- I am currently reading the Lydia Crow series and am enjoying it.  Nada.    I am hopeful for a future where I do not have these dreams.  Maybe when we can go places and do things, albeit masked and socially distanced, I will feel more like myself.  Maybe it's my vintage catching up with me.  We shall see.

It's International Women's Day and all around the world, achievements of women are being celebrated and highlighted.  Like Black History, Women's history is our nation's history and we have one day, or one month to celebrate it, then it reverts to old white men and their fairy tale achievements?  Winners write the history books, that's a facet and I often feel like this day is a patronizing pat on the head.  

I did not watch the Harry and Meghan interview last night, but if anyone is surprised at the attitude toward Meghan's ethnicity in the Royal Family, they have not been paying attention.  I am sure it will take a long time, maybe in William's reign, before race is not a prime factor- virginity was when Diana was chosen to be Charles' bride, as if purity in a woman was a primary factor in her bearing children who would be part of  The Firm.  I read somewhere that men want women tobe virgins so they have nothing to compare them to.  Probably so.  

As we celebrate Women's History Month, I think of the history of women in my own family, celebrate their struggle, their triumphs over grief.  While we look to those who lead, who achieved great things, we cannot forget those whose small contributions to the lives of those around them are as great in many ways that they themselves could never understand.   I think  of my great-grandmother, a nurse-midwife who raised her children mostly alone after her husband died.   I think of my grandmother, losing all three of her sons in a three month period, and raising her daughters, again mostly alone after my grandfather was killed in an accident.  Those women remain my role models, the strength of their resolve is my strength.  It is fine to tell stories of famous women of courage, but we must also share our stories of small acts of courage in the everyday.  We might not make a difference to the whole world, but we can change someone's whole world.