30 years ago today

Where were you 30 years ago today?  I remember distinctly.  I was working at Parking Enforcement   (aka "a Season in Hell")   I was sitting at my desk in the main room when Birdie Westmoreland, a Senior Traffic Officer called out "Central Library is on FIRE!!"  WHAT???  We listened to the reports that were flying fast and furious over the Police radio ( aka a rover)  They knew I was "Library" that I had started there and still loved that place more than anything.  They brought me a rover so I could sit at my desk and do my work while listening to the reports.  I distinctly remember hearing the fire department call out. "There's smoke coming out of the top of the tower"  I could not take it. I turned off the radio , put my head down on my desk and wept.

People from all over the City joined the incredible staff of the Los Angeles Public Library to save what could be saved of the amazing collection that was Central Library.  I had just had the surgery that would enable me to have my daughter and was unable to join them as I could not lift anything more than 5 pounds for two weeks after the surgery.

The Central Library fire was a terrible event and I think the staff does not get the credit they deserve for responding to do what needed to be done.  They worked in horrible conditions, doing the unthinkable.  After the TV crews and the celebrity volunteers left, it was just staff mostly, trying to make some sense of what to do and what was left.  They were and are heroes in this City, unsung because they are City employees, often vilified as being a drain on the public economy.

Still, we rise from this tragedy.  I like to think that some good came out of all of this.  The people of the City of Los Angeles realized what a treasure library service and the Central Library was and is.  Our friends at ARCO helped us raise awareness and 12 million dollars to begin the rebuilding process.  Today, the building is bigger and more beautiful that it was thirty years ago.  The massive water damage to the books, I believe, improved the largely untested- or at least on this scale untested- technique of "freeze drying"   In my heart of hearts, I think that it helped other library systems to be able to deal with their own tragedies, that LAPL was able to teach them something. I believe the bond issues that were passed to improve our branch system is a direct result, in part, of the awareness of libraries that the fore and it's aftermath brought to the City.

Today, slightly after ten a.m when Central Library opens it's doors to the public, I will pause to reflect on what today meant and continues to mean to all of us.  May we never forget.

OA and temporary handicaps

I suffer from severe osteoarthritis.  The pain is no joke,  The employee parking structure is uphill, BOTH WAYS ( I know it sounds like a joke, but you go down a hill and then up another to get to and from my office)  The result is that I am crying by the time I get up to Olive and 4th at the end of the day.  My co-worker who parks under the building graciously takes a few of us up the hill , but she works a 9/80 shift and isn't always there.  So, I finally admitted I needed some help and got a temporary parking permit and am able to park under my building while I work on the PT to strengthen my week backside muscles.I am going to push myself until I am healthy.  I read that, believe it or not, roller skating is a good exercise for people with OA.  I LOVED roller skating and wonder if I can do it.  Who's game to join me?  I'm serious.  Let me know if you want to go with me to try it out.  Someone else recommended a yoga class that is just stretching.  My fear with Yoga is that I am SO uncoordinated that I will fall on my face and break something.  Zumba is OUT!   I had to coordination of a three legged elephant BEFORE my knees got bad. I need some low impact workouts.   I am doing the PT stuff here at home and working on my elliptical, pedaling backwards and trying to stand on it with the lowest tension setting. I'm doing better.  I lost 25 pounds since last August.  I would like to be able to go to the beach without those pesky Greenpeace people trying to roll me back into the surf.    Exercise is good for my body and my spirit and I am going to try to lighten both!

Prince- Final thoughts

If my post about Prince insulted you in any way, I am sorry.  It was never my intention to be hurtful in my opinion.   A few good friends have pointed out that I am wrong in my assessment of Prince's character and as one of them is a true fan and a musicologist extraordinaire, I bow to better knowledge than my own.  I  want to thank those who took the time to discuss Prince and his music with me.  I will be listening to the cd that one of my friends encouraged me to start with.  I am always open to an education and a few of my friends "took me to school"

I do stand by my assertion that when a famous person dies, the media and social media both demonize and canonize them.  It's human nature.  True fans will mourn, as is their absolute right.  If you are mourning the loss of this amazing artist, my sincere condolences.  I think if the world is lucky they will be seeing and hearing much from him for years to come, as there is a longstanding rumor that he left a vault of work. I hope that is true and that he left the task to someone who loves and admires his work and will be good to his legacy.

Prince

I will be the first to admit I was not  big fan of Prince.  My first thought upon hearing he had died was " geez  he was MY age"  He was about three weeks older than me.  It was the same thought I had when Michael Jackson died.  1958 was a pretty good year, huh?

As what happens when anyone famous dies, first came the tears and the tributes, then came the nasty remarks.  Someone I know on FB went on and on complaining about Prince and his attitude toward gays.  Well that may be true.  Personally I thought Prince was a jerk- a TALENTED jerk- but a jerk nonetheless.  I saw Purple Rain and wondered why people were so enamored of him.  Ok he was a musical genius, but the movie showed him to be a misogynistic a-hole.   Now... he may not have BEEN a misogynistic a-hole, but the character that was supposed to be based on him certainly was and why would you put that out there like that?

I realize that Prince's music was something special.  I never met or saw Prince in person but people who went to his shows came away enthralled.  He was the consummate showman In the weeks to come, more bouquets and brickbats will be tossed his way.  I cannot help but think of the quote from the Joan Baez song, purportedly about Bob Dylan, that "Idols are best when they're made of stone."

For my part, I am trying to separate the dancer from the dance and try to appreciate the musical legacy that Prince Rogers Nelson left behind.  The battle for his estate, if he left no will is going to be nasty.  There is a rumor of a huge unpublished catalog of music.  Hopefully he left everything in the hands of someone who cared about the man and his music enough to honor and not destroy that legacy.

I will not say Rest in Peace, but wish him a continued musical journey wherever we go when we leave this world.

Invisibility is my super power at Amusement parks

I went to Disneyland last weekend for a three day excursion with my kids and my Bob.  It was really all about hanging with my Bob.  He loves Mickey Mouse and was so happy to see him. Unlike his mother who was terrified of Mickey at two, Bob waved and cried when he had to leave Mickey.

I have severe osteoarthritis. This means walking any distance is painful.  I can do short bursts and I am starting Physical therapy today to see what can be done to relieve that, BUT the thought of trying to walk around Disneyland for three days made me sick.  So, I rented a mobility scooter.  It made a world of difference in my experience.  HOWEVER, I realized I became even more invisible to people than a "woman of a certain age" already is. I can't tell you how many people LOOKED at me and stepped in front of my rolling red machine, including a little girl to whom I called "watch out" and her Mama-bear screamed "YOU watch it lady!"   I can see where the child got her manners.  One day that child will step in front of a bus because her mother didn't teach her any sense.   The "horn" on those things is this polite little "beep" that is no louder than a whisper. It needed one of those "Ah-oo-ga" truck horns.  Next time, Disneyland, next time.

Disneyland is fairly ADA friendly and I didn't have much trouble, but remember I am ambulatory and I can walk with my cane, and sometimes without the cane.  I am trying to get stronger.  I have lost a bit of weight and that helps .  This weekend gave me a taste, albeit a small one, of what people who live with disabilities must experience.   The "cast members" at Disneyland couldn't have been more helpful and I did get on most of the rides I wanted to without a hitch- the kids decided the wait for the Matterhorn was too long, but this was Day 3 and I think we were all tired.  Three days at Disneyland is one too many. Hard to believe but it is!

I want to go back. I will map it out better and really hit the rides and experiences I want to.  I realize I will probably still be invisible.  I wonder if I can bring an air horn with me.

Poem

Summer is coming.

The air conditioner
already hums in my bedroom window
I am not sure I am ready
to let go of winter
Rain pounding on the roof
while I am warm beneath the quilt
snuggled up  with a good book
Hot chocolate with marshmallows
while good soups and stews
steam my kitchen windows.
I'm not sure I am ready for cold meals and unrelenting heat
sunburned skin and tossing and turning in my bed
as it never can get cool enough to sleep soundly
 mosquito bites that itch and swell as I try to sleep.

Ice cream
well I am ready for ice cream

Funerals

I went to a funeral service this morning.  I was dreading it for so many reasons. This was the funeral of a young man;a terrible loss that came totally out of the blue.  When someone is old, or very ill it is easier to reconcile their death in your head, if not your heart.  He was just... gone.  We went to support his mother and his step mother who are both friends.  I do not know and don't think I ever really care to meet his father.

Funeral services are supposed to be cathartic.  I grew up with the ritual of Catholic funeral services and the comforting liturgy of the Protestant service.  I knew I was in trouble when the minister waved his obviously ancient Bible in the air and told us he was going to read from the Word Of God. (in my mind he was speaking in capital letters)  Great. He chose verses that were not comforting, but more "Come to Jesus- or else"  He did default to the 23rd Psalm, but there is so much more that could have been of comfort, but that stuff is in the Old Testament, and this was more about  threatening you with damnation unless you accepted Jesus than any words of peace in the heart.  It reminded me why I don't follow any organized religion.  I just don't get anything from it.  Now, I have friends who go to church regularly and one who is a minister.  I am sure that they get something from it and I am not saying that going to church is a bad thing IF it does something for you.  It just made me mad.  There was very little said by the minister of the boy whose services he was conducting, although he did read a long and frankly annoying letter that was supposed to have come from his teacher. In it, the teacher went on and on in praise of the boy's FATHER while mentioning what a good student the boy was and how the teacher would always remember him.  In retrospect, I believe the letter was sent by the teacher to comfort the father privately, to assure him that he had been a good father, but it rang hollow if it were meant to honor the boy. .His best friend managed to get through a beautiful eulogy without crying.  There was a memorial video, which included no pictures of his still-living and present- in -the- boys- life mother.  She was not mentioned once. It was as if the child sprung fully realized from his father's forehead or the mother were dead.  It would have been nice to have included her in those mentioned.   I left the service feeling empty and not resolved or healed in any way.  I should have been.

Chris and I went to Dave and Busters and had lunch and played video games.  We talked about memories of the child whose services we had just left and thought that this was a fitting way to honor his memory.  I try to remember the phase from "Elegy for JFK"  "what he was, he was.  What he is fated to become, depends on us.  Remembering his death, how we choose to live will decide its' meaning".   So Ian, I hope your friends will laugh more and care for each other and always remember you and that those who love you and always  will continue to get stronger in your memory, to make you proud of them somehow even if you are not in this realm to see it.