It's April 29. Los Angeles, The city I love, live in and work for commemorates ( not celebrates) two horrific events.
April 29, 1986. Central Library Arson fire.
I remember exactly where I was when I heard about it. Although it may seem I have been there forever, I was working in the Department of Transportation, Parking Enforcement ( or as I call it "a Season in Hell") One of the Supervisors, Birdie Westmoreland, called out that Central was on fire. They knew I was "Library" having worked in branches for 6.5 years. They got tired of me asking for updates and plunked a spare "rover" ( radio) on my desk. I heard them say "There's smoke coming through the top of the tower". I turned off the radio, put my head on my desk and wept. I thought the collection was gone.
The fire brought volunteers from all parts of the City to help. I could not go, as I had just had the surgery to "fix" why I could not get pregnant and was forbidden to lift anything over 5 pounds. Six months later, I started working in Branch Library Services and seven months later became pregnant with Kate ( nice how that worked out!) The Save the Books Campaign begun in the ashes of that fire, when the good folks at ARCO came to offer any and all assistance. We had prime real estate in ARCO Tower for about a year. I know my friends who were still working in the building did so under unfathomably filthy conditions, but did so with a love and a sense of humor and purpose that is unmatched. I always say that the fire made the people in the City realize how precious library service, the Central Library and their local branch means to them. Out of this tragedy came a newer, bigger and better library system. We passed TWO bond measures and Measure L which grew, strengthened and improved library service for all who use our system. The fire allowed new technology for water logged books to be tested on an unprecedented scale. Some good did come from it.
On a side note, I hope the firebug who did it is "enjoying" the fires of Hell. He was never able to be convicted, but he did it. He's dead now. Good.
The King Riots April 29, 1992
I remember being in the office with co-workers when the verdicts came down. Literally, I felt the energy in the room shift, suddenly iced cold. I ran to my phone to call the Day Care Center where my then four year old daughter was a student. It was across the street from Parker Center. The daycare worker I talked to said I was overreacting when I told her they should get the kids in the inside rooms. I KNEW Parker Center would be some sort of flash point, but she dismissed my worries with a "pfft". I called my brother-in-law, with whom I was commuting, told him NOT to dawdle and he met me at the Center at 5 on the dot. I remember running to the car, my brother-in-law with my daughter under his arm, passing the Japanese Heritage museum who had had an event planned that evening. Workers were hurriedly pulling chairs that had been staged and tossing them into the building. The wind picked up and it smelled like chaos. We watched from home as the mayhem began unfolding. They tired to burn down Parker Center and when that failed, went on to City Hall South where the Daycare Center was housed. I kept my daughter home with her father and went to work. They sent us home at about three and we did not go back until the following Monday.
We lost two libraries that were housed in mini-mall sites. One neighborhood, the John Muir branch community. saw neighbors forming a bucket brigade to save the building. They saved about half of it.
We were told at the time to refer to the event as a "Civil Unrest " How sweet and politically correct. I'm sorry THAT was a RIOT. The things I saw and will always remember:
A Mother proudly patting her son in front of tv cameras saying "He stole this shirt. He's a man now"
Two neighbors, arguing about burning down the grocery store "Oh I have groceries I took before they burned it down, you can have some " "YES, but you burned down the STORE. Where do we get groceries when THOSE run out? Don't you see what you've DONE?"
The four people who risked their own lives to save Reginald Denny and countless others who tried to help stop the destruction, including King himself, looking tearful as he asked "Can't we all just get along?"
I understand anger. I am not in a position or a place where I can say I understand the underlying rage in communities, because, well, I can't. Did some good come out of all of this? Maybe. Maybe dialogues began, maybe friendships were forged and new organizations dealing with the issues that were brought to the forefront by all of this have BEGUN to make a difference. We have a long way to go. If we learned anything, we have learned that.
Saturday, April 29, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Me. so far
"The rabbits say one cloud is lonely" ( a quote from my favorite book, Watership Down)
I am sick. I don't think I can ever remember BEING this sick. Ever. So here is what is going on:
On April 6, after two days of my asthma raging out of control I went to urgent care. They sent me home with stuff to get the asthma under control , prednisone . About a week later, I wound up seeing my primary care who gave me another round of prednisone. After that was done, I wasn't getting any better, so back to urgent care. An x-ray revealed pneumonia. I was given MORE antibiotics. Here is where it gets "interesting" I'm allergic to penicillin. It says so, right in my chart. Both the doctor and the pharmacist said "oh this should be ok" Well. it wasn't. I dutifully went home and took both the meds. Within ten minutes, my left hand swelled to almost three times it's normal size and the back of my hand turned black from knuckles to wrist. I stared at it, wondering what the hell I had done. It looked like I had backhanded someone- hard. I kind of freaked out and called my sister who reminded me to take benadryl. Of course. I took a double dose, It does not affect me like some people, so I knew that I would be ok and called a friend to "babysit" me. She stayed with me until I felt better. Back to urgent care, where the doctor told me that I could NOT have had a fever since I did not take my temperature ( I think I know when I have a fever) and gave me advice contrary to what my pulmonologist advises regarding the use of my rescue inhaler. Enough. I emailed him and he got me in right away. We talked and he sent me to Emergency. I hate going to Emergency, but I was so sick I was willing to do ANYTHING. They sent me to the Observation unit and loaded me up with steroids and antibiotics after a chest x-ray revealed pneumonia in my left lung. You don't get any sleep in Observation. They woke me up at midnight to give me a self-care pamphlet. I was JUST sleeping good, as my father used to say, when they woke me up at 5:30 for a blood draw. I had fallen asleep around four. Sigh. The megadose seems to have worked. I am not coughing or wheezing, but will be off work until this (hopefully) last round of prednisone and antibiotics are done and my pulmonologist can see me. I pretty much burned my sick time. In the midst of all of this, my mother-in-love had surgery so I sent Chris to take care of HER. He came home with- you guessed it- pneumonia.
We are both on the mend. I am profoundly grateful for the love and the help I have received during this time. I am truly blessed by wonderful friends.
I am sick. I don't think I can ever remember BEING this sick. Ever. So here is what is going on:
On April 6, after two days of my asthma raging out of control I went to urgent care. They sent me home with stuff to get the asthma under control , prednisone . About a week later, I wound up seeing my primary care who gave me another round of prednisone. After that was done, I wasn't getting any better, so back to urgent care. An x-ray revealed pneumonia. I was given MORE antibiotics. Here is where it gets "interesting" I'm allergic to penicillin. It says so, right in my chart. Both the doctor and the pharmacist said "oh this should be ok" Well. it wasn't. I dutifully went home and took both the meds. Within ten minutes, my left hand swelled to almost three times it's normal size and the back of my hand turned black from knuckles to wrist. I stared at it, wondering what the hell I had done. It looked like I had backhanded someone- hard. I kind of freaked out and called my sister who reminded me to take benadryl. Of course. I took a double dose, It does not affect me like some people, so I knew that I would be ok and called a friend to "babysit" me. She stayed with me until I felt better. Back to urgent care, where the doctor told me that I could NOT have had a fever since I did not take my temperature ( I think I know when I have a fever) and gave me advice contrary to what my pulmonologist advises regarding the use of my rescue inhaler. Enough. I emailed him and he got me in right away. We talked and he sent me to Emergency. I hate going to Emergency, but I was so sick I was willing to do ANYTHING. They sent me to the Observation unit and loaded me up with steroids and antibiotics after a chest x-ray revealed pneumonia in my left lung. You don't get any sleep in Observation. They woke me up at midnight to give me a self-care pamphlet. I was JUST sleeping good, as my father used to say, when they woke me up at 5:30 for a blood draw. I had fallen asleep around four. Sigh. The megadose seems to have worked. I am not coughing or wheezing, but will be off work until this (hopefully) last round of prednisone and antibiotics are done and my pulmonologist can see me. I pretty much burned my sick time. In the midst of all of this, my mother-in-love had surgery so I sent Chris to take care of HER. He came home with- you guessed it- pneumonia.
We are both on the mend. I am profoundly grateful for the love and the help I have received during this time. I am truly blessed by wonderful friends.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Judas and Easter thoughts
I've been thinking a lot about Judas Iscariot, the man who "betrayed" Christ. I have been thinking about it, because there is such a dichotomy about him. I went to a church as a child that vilified Judas. He was the most horrible human being . Ever. But now, as an adult, I wonder about that. IF we believe that God sent Jesus to die for us so that he might rise again and give us everlasting life, then WHY is what Judas did a bad thing? Someone told me that "Judas turned away from God" but I think Judas turned TOWARD God. He, alone, truly must have believed that this was God's plan, for him and for Jesus and hard as it must have been, his pure belief in God lead him there. If as Christians, we believe in the Resurrection being God's plan, in any case.
But it is Easter Sunday, and I am thinking about my beliefs and my faith. This day, for Christians, is the holiest of days. I am not a "practicing Christian" I just try to live in the way that my faith guides me. Me. Not You. I am responsible for me. I have no problem with people believing other things, or not having any kind of "faith" at all. Faith is not necessary for some people, although it gets me out of bed in the morning sometimes. The belief that things will be better if good people put good in the world. Maybe it is naivete, but I think a little of that is good. Being angry and suspicious ALL the time is not good for the soul.
I was not raised in a "religious" household. My mother was raised Protestant, my father was Irish Catholic, until the priest kicked him out- allegedly for sassing the Nuns one too many times ( He asked her in Sunday School how a woman could have a baby and still be a virgin, she tossed him out). My mother had a quiet faith, believed in the Resurrection and held close to John 3:16 as her favorite verse. She had in underlined in her small pocket bible, which I found after she died.
When I think of Easter, I try to remember this is a holiday centered around the idea of forgiveness and reconciliation. Most religions have some sort of rebirth celebration that coincides with Spring. As I celebrate today, I will think about forgiveness, renewal and life.
But it is Easter Sunday, and I am thinking about my beliefs and my faith. This day, for Christians, is the holiest of days. I am not a "practicing Christian" I just try to live in the way that my faith guides me. Me. Not You. I am responsible for me. I have no problem with people believing other things, or not having any kind of "faith" at all. Faith is not necessary for some people, although it gets me out of bed in the morning sometimes. The belief that things will be better if good people put good in the world. Maybe it is naivete, but I think a little of that is good. Being angry and suspicious ALL the time is not good for the soul.
I was not raised in a "religious" household. My mother was raised Protestant, my father was Irish Catholic, until the priest kicked him out- allegedly for sassing the Nuns one too many times ( He asked her in Sunday School how a woman could have a baby and still be a virgin, she tossed him out). My mother had a quiet faith, believed in the Resurrection and held close to John 3:16 as her favorite verse. She had in underlined in her small pocket bible, which I found after she died.
When I think of Easter, I try to remember this is a holiday centered around the idea of forgiveness and reconciliation. Most religions have some sort of rebirth celebration that coincides with Spring. As I celebrate today, I will think about forgiveness, renewal and life.
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Can I say
Can I say I am sick of honey tea? Can I say I am sick to DEATH of chicken soup? Can I say I am tired of wheezing, and the congestion and gasping for air? Yeah. I have a serious case of asthma, complicated by some icky viral infection. I am pretty sure I know where it came from. WHY do people insist on coming to work so sick and spreading their germs wily nily? This is no joke for me. I can't remember WHEN I was last this sick. My immune system is down, due to the inordinate amount of stress I have been under lately. I THOUGHT I was doing ok. Guess not. I am NOT a good patient- no PATIENCE. I want this done. NOW.
For the first time in my life I have a home nebulizer. I am not crazy about this latest development in my health. I am going to do whatever it takes to get better.
Easter is Sunday. I want to celebrate. We will see where it goes.
For the first time in my life I have a home nebulizer. I am not crazy about this latest development in my health. I am going to do whatever it takes to get better.
Easter is Sunday. I want to celebrate. We will see where it goes.
Friday, April 7, 2017
Home, sick and thoughts about oh.. anything
I thought my asthma was just out of control. It IS but apparently I have some kind of icky viral infection on top of this. THIS is NOT good, I don't have time to be THIS sick.
I'm stuck at home, with brief trips to the grocery store for stuff I need. I have no energy and only have ONE book left in my arsenal to read. That means I am watching a lot of "daytime television" which is really crap. I got sucked into the soulless hell of "Paternity court" Even I could see the baby looked JUST like the father. Honestly what is is about some men who father a child but the minute they get into an argument, deny the child and accuse the girl of sleeping with the entire neighborhood. Sheesh. It was like a train wreck. I felt sorry for the kid.
No word yet on my surgery date, just as well as I am on heavy duty meds to get my breathing stabilized.
My daughter says I never mention her in these blogs. I do that for a reason. She and my son-in-love are very private people and I try to be careful in what I say so as not to intrude, BUT Danny is in the process of opening a tv sales and repair shop in Yucca and I am very proud of him. I am not sure if he has had his grand opening yet. it's called "the TV Store" I love them both. I know they love me too and will always be there for me.
Oh and Bob. I love Bob.
Hope to be up and around tomorrow. My favorite burrito place is closing ONE of it's two locations and I NEED to go before she closes it. This is the larger sit-down Yucas and the only one that makes the Jajuba burrito. I keep hoping she will find a new place and QUICKLY. She needs one with good parking and a lot of space. The old Denny's up here is for sale, Dora ( she says hopefully) If Dora did move operations to Tujunga I would probably weigh even MORE than I do now!!!
I'm stuck at home, with brief trips to the grocery store for stuff I need. I have no energy and only have ONE book left in my arsenal to read. That means I am watching a lot of "daytime television" which is really crap. I got sucked into the soulless hell of "Paternity court" Even I could see the baby looked JUST like the father. Honestly what is is about some men who father a child but the minute they get into an argument, deny the child and accuse the girl of sleeping with the entire neighborhood. Sheesh. It was like a train wreck. I felt sorry for the kid.
No word yet on my surgery date, just as well as I am on heavy duty meds to get my breathing stabilized.
My daughter says I never mention her in these blogs. I do that for a reason. She and my son-in-love are very private people and I try to be careful in what I say so as not to intrude, BUT Danny is in the process of opening a tv sales and repair shop in Yucca and I am very proud of him. I am not sure if he has had his grand opening yet. it's called "the TV Store" I love them both. I know they love me too and will always be there for me.
Oh and Bob. I love Bob.
Hope to be up and around tomorrow. My favorite burrito place is closing ONE of it's two locations and I NEED to go before she closes it. This is the larger sit-down Yucas and the only one that makes the Jajuba burrito. I keep hoping she will find a new place and QUICKLY. She needs one with good parking and a lot of space. The old Denny's up here is for sale, Dora ( she says hopefully) If Dora did move operations to Tujunga I would probably weigh even MORE than I do now!!!
Monday, April 3, 2017
An American in Paris
A friend of mine has season tickets at the Pantages, Incredible seats around the fourth row and she unexpectedly had an extra seat to Saturday's performance. It was a win-win, an evening of playing catch-up with my friend AND the treat of an excellent musical.
Gershwin and ballet? As the song goes, "Who could ask for anything more?" The performance started late, Apparently something had happened to the principal dancer and they had to get the understudy out there. Barton Cowpethwaite did an excellent job in "Jerry" the Gene Kelly role. He is a marvelous dancer. His singing was ok- he was a bit flat sometimes to my ear, but I'm going to chalk that up to what must have been a huge case of nerves. The house was packed and I don't think he was really ready to go out there. He gave "Jerry" an earnest vulnerability. At the close of the performance, the actress who played "Lise" the Leslie Caron part, gave him a HUGE bouquet of flowers and he was roundly applauded by the cast and the audience, which gave them all a standing ovation. He saved the night.
The play itself was wonderful. Costuming was gorgeous, and the minimalist staging, with tables, chairs and small rolling partitions being seamlessly rolled into place by the cast created a terrific visual effect. There was not a lot of use of video, but the screen provided a backdrop that enhanced rather than detracted from the on stage action. Some of the onstage costume changes were a delightful surprise. I LOVED the big nightclub dance number toward the end of the second act, Watching the dances seem to float in both the tap numbers and the gorgeous ballet that finished the play reminded me of what athletes dancers really are. It got me thinking about how male dancers were made fun of as being "poofy" and how many football players later discovered that they could up THEIR game by taking ballet lessons ( Jerry Rice for one)
All in all, a great production. I have to see the film again.I think I will find it a bit dated but I love Gene Kelly. I'm glad I was familiar with the music, which was pure delight. A lot of the themes that were snuck in were sly reference to modern times. The dancing made me think of my Dad, a man who loved dancing. He would have enjoyed this one.
Gershwin and ballet? As the song goes, "Who could ask for anything more?" The performance started late, Apparently something had happened to the principal dancer and they had to get the understudy out there. Barton Cowpethwaite did an excellent job in "Jerry" the Gene Kelly role. He is a marvelous dancer. His singing was ok- he was a bit flat sometimes to my ear, but I'm going to chalk that up to what must have been a huge case of nerves. The house was packed and I don't think he was really ready to go out there. He gave "Jerry" an earnest vulnerability. At the close of the performance, the actress who played "Lise" the Leslie Caron part, gave him a HUGE bouquet of flowers and he was roundly applauded by the cast and the audience, which gave them all a standing ovation. He saved the night.
The play itself was wonderful. Costuming was gorgeous, and the minimalist staging, with tables, chairs and small rolling partitions being seamlessly rolled into place by the cast created a terrific visual effect. There was not a lot of use of video, but the screen provided a backdrop that enhanced rather than detracted from the on stage action. Some of the onstage costume changes were a delightful surprise. I LOVED the big nightclub dance number toward the end of the second act, Watching the dances seem to float in both the tap numbers and the gorgeous ballet that finished the play reminded me of what athletes dancers really are. It got me thinking about how male dancers were made fun of as being "poofy" and how many football players later discovered that they could up THEIR game by taking ballet lessons ( Jerry Rice for one)
All in all, a great production. I have to see the film again.I think I will find it a bit dated but I love Gene Kelly. I'm glad I was familiar with the music, which was pure delight. A lot of the themes that were snuck in were sly reference to modern times. The dancing made me think of my Dad, a man who loved dancing. He would have enjoyed this one.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
Thoughts in free-fall
I am sitting at my computer, just... typing. Whatever pops into my head. I am dealing with the upcoming surgery and all it's implications by thinking that there will be nothing more than the lumpectomy. Even though the surgeon gave me "worst case scenarios" I am hoping for the BEST possible outcome.
I hope to be able to mend a rift with someone I love very much. I really have to accept that this may not be possible. I am going to try by not trying. When this person is ready to talk, I will listen. Sometimes, we react to our own fears by lashing out in anger at the very person who needs you not to. I understand that, but it is difficult to deal with. In the mean time, I am going to settle in my head what I need to do to face the surgery and the outcome. I will get through everything.
"I have seen the Eternal Footman hold my coat and snicker and in short, I was afraid" Ok T.S. Eliot. I quote him a lot. He is one of my favorite poets. I do understand he was a monumental asshole, but that boy could WRITE. When I saw the surgeon, Kaiser gave me a booklet about Advanced Directives. Honestly it looked like an elementary school style workbook. I suppose I should read it, maybe talk to Chris about things, maybe write things out. I am NOT going to die. Not yet anyway. I am FIRM in that, but maybe it's time for that conversation. It's often the Elephant in the room.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to seeing "An American in Paris" this evening. A friend had an extra ticket and it was "just the ticket" for me. I was thinking about how I would LOVE to see more theater and she called me! I am looking forward to possibly seeing parts of Henry Ong's play "the Dream of the Red Chamber" I love Henry, I worked with him years ago and never knew that this quiet unassuming man was actually a brilliant playwright. His work is delightful and as this is a magnum opus, I expect to be enchanted by it.
I hope to be able to mend a rift with someone I love very much. I really have to accept that this may not be possible. I am going to try by not trying. When this person is ready to talk, I will listen. Sometimes, we react to our own fears by lashing out in anger at the very person who needs you not to. I understand that, but it is difficult to deal with. In the mean time, I am going to settle in my head what I need to do to face the surgery and the outcome. I will get through everything.
"I have seen the Eternal Footman hold my coat and snicker and in short, I was afraid" Ok T.S. Eliot. I quote him a lot. He is one of my favorite poets. I do understand he was a monumental asshole, but that boy could WRITE. When I saw the surgeon, Kaiser gave me a booklet about Advanced Directives. Honestly it looked like an elementary school style workbook. I suppose I should read it, maybe talk to Chris about things, maybe write things out. I am NOT going to die. Not yet anyway. I am FIRM in that, but maybe it's time for that conversation. It's often the Elephant in the room.
In the meantime, I am looking forward to seeing "An American in Paris" this evening. A friend had an extra ticket and it was "just the ticket" for me. I was thinking about how I would LOVE to see more theater and she called me! I am looking forward to possibly seeing parts of Henry Ong's play "the Dream of the Red Chamber" I love Henry, I worked with him years ago and never knew that this quiet unassuming man was actually a brilliant playwright. His work is delightful and as this is a magnum opus, I expect to be enchanted by it.
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