Thinking

Sometimes I just sit down and things that I want to talk about magically appear.  Sometimes I sit and stare at the screen. Today is one of those days.  Nothing pithy or insightful seems to come to mind.  Admittedly, I have been preoccupied with a fine young man whom I love with all my heart.  The little guy has stolen my heart, as I suspected he would.  It's been a long time since I had anything to do with a newborn, and boys are different than girls.  Still ,I can settle him down.  He falls asleep fairly easily for me.  I guess it's my zaftig self he loves.

I am out here for another few days.  Leaving him will be hard but the kids are doing a good job with tag team parenting.  I will probably do a lot of prep cooking, sauces and such, and leave it in the freezer for them.  I make some pretty good sauces!

it's peaceful here for the moment; everyone is sound asleep, which is a good thing.  I have to go back to work next Monday, I wonder if they missed me!   It seems like the Department did not implode while I was gone, but I suspect that my co-worker who has been taking my calls will be happy to see me!

Welcome to the world, Robert Benjamin

My grandson was born a week ago and I am just now getting down to think about what has happened and what this means to me.  There is nothing like holding the child of your child, staring into hi eyes and seeing all the people you love staring back at you.  Robert is named for his maternal great grandfather  and his maternal grandmother- as I was named after my father.  Of course, I think he is perfect and wonderful.  I have been here at the house the whole time, doing my thing in the kitchen,  I know my daughter appreciates the help and I try to stay out of the way, as much as I want to swoop in and take over, I realize that this is their time to create their family.  I just pray that one day all of our scattered family will be able to be together again.

So Robert, welcome to the world.  I am looking forward to seeing you grow up.  As I gaze at you, sleeping so peacefully in your basinet, I marvel at the gift that you are.  Already, you seem to know your "Mimi" as I want you to call me.  You settle down when I hold you and cuddle you against me.  I love you, child, in ways you won't understand until you have a wee one of your own.  We are going to have some grand adventures, you and I.  I love you.

Ten Song Challenge

 Recently, there has been a Facebook "challenge" to name ten books that changed your life or had an impact on you.  I posted mine- twice!- but it got me to thinking about music and the songs that changed my life or that I carry with me.  So here, in no particular order, are mine or at least the ones I am thinking about today.


1. God Only Knows.  Growing up in Southern California in the 60's the Beach Boys always seemed to be on the radio in the summer.  The music still tastes like summer to me and listening to their glorious harmonies, I can be transported back to those summer days.  I love God Only Knows best I suppose.  I love to sing along.

2. Horse with No Name DUH. America.  My favorite band, their first radio hit.  It's not my favorite song of theirs, it's just their first one; the one that introduced me to the band.  My "favorite" of theirs changes daily and I probably have a whole list of my ten favorite America songs, which is a topic for another day.

3. She Love you  Beatlemania! I was in elementary school when John, Paul, George and Ringo burst onto the American scene.  I had a Beatle poster on my wall ( which I remember as being kind of creepy , I thought their eyes were following me)  The Beatles were the first brush with "our" music, not what my parents listened to, but music that spoke to our generation.  Again, not my favorite Beatles song, but one that can still make me feel sweet and giddy.

4.  Please.  Evita Freaks.  Most people reading this will never have heard of the song OR the band, BUT it led me to my husband, who was playing bass with the band at the time I met him.  Changed my life?  Made it better?  Oh yes!  It was Evita's sweet voice that led me to him.

5. YYZ- I'm a girl, therefore was NOT a Rush fan ( if you're a fan you get the joke)   My husband is a huge fan and I bought tickets to see them early in our marriage.  In preparation, I had him load "Moving Pictures" onto myMP3 player, as they were doing that album as part of this show. WOW.  I really got into how three guys could make such a full sound, complex and amazing.  I became a Rush fan- I'm one of the thirteen ;)

6. Solsbury Hill. This Peter Gabriel song emboldens me.  It's about gathering the courage to leave something and to find a better place for yourself.  I was unhappy at a job and I heard this song.  It "spoke" to me and I thought "yes I should look for something better."  I did and twenty-eight years ago, made the change to the job I have now.

7. Fighter Christina Aguilera   A song my "kids" dedicated to me, about how a bad relationship makes you stronger.  My "borrowed daughter" told me I was an inspiration to her.  NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is sweeter to hear than that!

8. Little Tin Soldier  A Donovan song that is a telling of the fairy tale about the Steadfast Tin Soldier.  I used to sing it to Kate and she told me recently she remembers it as a favorite song.  I will be brushing off this and other rock and  roll lullabies for my grandson.

9. Fallen. I read liner notes ( I know my friend Reggie who writes them will be pleased to see this)  I make a note of who wrote what song, if I like it, so that I can seek out more music by that writer.  This song led me to work for Lauren Wood in the 80's .  It was fun and Lauren was and is a wonderful musician.  I still love her work and hope to be able to see her new group, the Peculiars, very soon!

10. Storm This song, by Lifehouse is my go-to when I need to find my own strength. I sing it in the car.  It is a song about faith, vague in it's direction, it could be faith in God or faith in another person.  By the time I get to the last chorus, I am feeling the power of my own faith. I don't feel like I am facing whatever it is alone.

So that's MY ten.  What's yours?

I'm supposed to care?

The "cult of celebrity" is getting to me these days.  Really, the news is all gaga about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie getting married.  Well, it's about time, I suppose.  They have, what seven or eight kids?   What's the point at this juncture anyway?  The media fawns all over them, they dredge up his failed marriage and talk as if the ex wife is still in the background somewhere, waiting for him. If Jennifer Anniston were pregnant as much as Star magazine said she was, she'd need a MUCH bigger house.   I don't actually READ Star, or People or any of those magazines that tell us breathlessly about every aspect of celebrity life.  I see them in the grocery store check out line.

I'm supposed to care about the every day minutiae of the lives of the Kardashian Family?  That whole thing seems to be a train-wreck, they are famous for being famous, much like the Gabor sisters were; their only "talent" was for getting their photo taken at celebrity driven events.

 I knew someone once who was so consumed by the celebrity "news" that she really thought she could walk down the street in Hollywood and meet famous people.  She would wander the streets for hours, peering at people to see if she recognized them from television or the movies.  I think she was convinced she would meet George Clooney  in the local Vons.

Well, I don't care.  I do wonder if these people love the attention so much that ANY press is better than being ignored.  I wonder if  a quiet, "normal" life is such an anathema to them that they will do anything not to be consigned to one. 

Sunday News ponderings

There has been a lot in the news these days about race, religion and equality.  I get it.  Things are very bad and we need to change them.  But how do we do that?  There is a lot of anger, and I never see rage and rioting as answers to the problem.  Maybe it's just me, but I don't see the point of stealing everything from a neighborhood store and burning it down to cause change.  I am a big proponent  of the "change from within" school of thought.  To change the way things are run, you must first enter into the system.  Standing on the outside throwing rocks is not going to cut it.   We must work together to bring about the change we want to see, in our communities and in our world.

I have been thinking about a statement I read that said something about "if someone says they are color-blind then you are invisible to them"  I have been thinking about that quote in terms of me and how I view things.  It did make me think.   I am NOT colorblind.  I do see what color you are, just like I notice your hairstyle or your clothes, but NONE of those things dictate how I treat you. The thing that does that is your attitude.  If you come at me in anger, I will react accordingly.  Simple as that.  There is anger on both sides of things these days.  There are laws that are supposed to protect people from that, but while you can legislate  lifestyle, you cannot legislate hearts or minds.  We must begin to change.  As a Christian, I find it inconceivable to see the hate spewing from people's mouths who declare themselves to follow Christ's teachings.  Really?  Did you miss the "Love ye one another" part?  It doesn't say "Love ye one another if they look like you."  Or "Love ye one another if they agree with you."  Nope.  Christ spoke of love, of brotherhood and of caring for each other.  Maybe some of these "Christians" should read the New Testament again- or at least the first five books.

I don't know how to change the world, to ease the anger and the suffering.  I will try to make things in my community better.  There is an old saying "Let each man sweep in front of his own doorstep and the whole world will be clean."   I think I will start there.

August 29

"Today is Monday
Today is Monday
All the little Brownies
We wish the best to you"

I woke up with that little song in my head.  I was never a brownie, but my sister was.  The troop had disbanded by the time I was old enough. But my mother was a troop leader and she sang that oce or twice, I suppose.  Anyway, it was in my head this morning and with good reason.

It's been ten years since she died.  I was going to say "passed on" or "crossed over" but no, it feels right to say she died.  It's hard to think about it, but after ten years, it's time to reflect.  I decided to write her a letter.

 Hi Mom, I miss you and think about you all the time.  A lot has happened in the past ten years, so I figure I need to catch you up.

I'm still working at the Library in a job I love.  It's pretty good to have a job like that, don't you think?  It has given me wonderful friends and great adventures.  I also have the best stories about the crazy stuff that goes on, day to day.  People say I should write a book, but most people think I am making the stories up.  I am not.  I don't have a gift for fiction.

I got divorced.  I know, you might have been disappointed, but we tried- or I did- to make the marriage go.  Some things just don't work.  I am happily remarried to Chris, whose last name just happens to be Myers.  When I got divorced I swore to Dad that I would not change my name ( I had to go back to court to get my name changed as Alan fought me on it)  Dad helped me out and made me swear to remain a Myers.  Then I met Chris Myers.  You would love him , Mom.  I am happy, which was not always the case.  I think you'd be great friends with him mom too.  She's my bonus!

You would be so proud of Kate.  She graduated High School, like she promised you she would.  She did it by the skin of her teeth, as that was the year I left her father and we were struggling to make it on our own.  She said she kept her promise to you in her mind.  She went on to college and has an AA degree from FDIM, in Fashion Merchandising.  After as break, she has gone back to school and is studying toward a BA in Business.  She is married now, Mom, and expecting her first child any day now.  I gave her the blanket you made for her before you got really sick.  She and I both cried over it and the letter you sent to her.  She will wrap Robert in it and tell stories of Oma and Opa to him.  They are naming him after Dad, so I am calling him "Little Bob", at least for now.

I dodged a bullet and had some precancerous lumps removed from my left breast the summer after you were gone.  I got lucky and they caught it before they went bad.  I keep an eye on things like that these days.

I am involved in my community.  I do a lot of work for a non-profit Arts Center up here.  I work for my Union and I volunteer for things as the mood strikes me.  You taught me to give back and I do as much as I can.  It's important to me and I got that from you.

So that's it  for now, Mom; the high points of the last ten years.   I miss you every day, but I know you and Dad are up there having a blast together.  I miss you both, but am happy knowing you are together.   Alzheimer's is a terrible thing and I am glad you are not trapped by it anymore.  I love you, Mom.

Review- Jeff Larson Close Circle

Let me start out by saying that Jeff is one of my favorite Indie artists.  His music never fails to lift my spirits; it causes me to think and to look at the world in a new light.  That being said, I pre-ordered his latest CD "Close Circle" with great anticipation.

I was not disappointed.  As I said in a brief Amazon review, if you buy this for the first cut alone, you will have gotten your money's worth.  "Rescue" is a song that resonates with me.  The recording, like every recording on this cd is crystal clear.  I love being able to hear each instrument, no murky mix here.  I won't go through each song but the tings Ilove about this cd are in no particular order:

Jeddrah.  If you have ever heard her sing you know why.  I love her voice.  She blends so beautifully on close harmony.  I wish she sang on every cut!

Mandolins.  I love the sound and the use of the mandolin on a number of the cuts adds a depth to the song, giving it a classic folk feel that I seldom hear anymore.

Different musical styles.  This is not a straight folky effort. I love "Always the Mystery" for it's Spanish guitar sound.  I love the groove in "How long running'. 

Drumming.  I love the tone of the drums.  Again, a clean clear recording, no mud!

Lyrics and vocals. Can you separate the dancer from the dance?  Me either.  As a "word" person, I love Jeff's use of language and the delivery in his vocals.  He has a voice that is easy on the ears, but interesting enough to keep you engaged.

This is a good one.   I have been listening to it all week in my car and I HAVE reached my saturation point.  I will go back to it again and again in the coming weeks.