America Concert June 21

It was my birthday this weekend and my husband got tickets to see my favorite band- America- at the ACE hotel which is around the corner from my work.   We left my car at my office and Lyfted  ( is that a word?) over to the venue.

We were WAY too early.

We got tacos at this little stand and people watched for a bit.   There were no shops to go into, so we went into the bar at the venue, Best Girl, and went upstairs for dessert and coffee.

Did I mention I am allergic to nuts?

We carefully looked at the menu to see which desserts I could actually eat.  The lovely chocolate thing had.. NUTS. I ordered a machiato ( VERY bitter)  and a Laphroaig .  A quick story about why.  Years ago, I was visiting a friend and her then-boyfriend and her landlord were sitting on the deck with a bottle between them, discussing how good this whiskey was.  Although they invited me to join them at the table, they did not offer me any as they continued to drink it and discuss it.  I did not know either of them well enough to ask for any and I suppose they didn't think a woman would want any - I did. So I tried it , it's a nice addition to what I will 'call" if I am in a bar with no Bushmills. 

We decided on the berries and cream, as it was the only thing that did not say it had nuts.  When it came, even in the murky dark of the upstairs bar, I could see... something sprinkled over the top of the dish.  "what is that?" I asked Chris  He tasted  "peanuts I think" he said.  Now I know peanuts are not strictly nuts but they are in my allergy group, so we put the dish at the far edge of the table and waited for the waiter.  He was nice and attentive but super busy.  Finally he came.  He said he would ask. He came back and said no, there were no nuts in the dish.  We asked him to take a look.  Aha!  He went again and yes, someone had put pistachios in the dish.  He asked if I had eaten any.  No, I am very careful.  He offered to leave it so Chris could eat it . We sent it back, Chris can't kiss me if he has been eating nuts!

The replacement dessert came, without nuts,it was yummy but the whole thing was super expensive. Still it was my birthday..

We went into the venue and got in line for merch.  I bought TWO t-shirts, a sticker for my car and the cd for Andy Barr's new band "Formerly Alien" who opened the show.  Saw Andy ( who I have seen a number of times when I used to be able to see Matt's bands, something I need to remedy)  He sweetly pretended to remember me.  he's a nice kid.

We ran into a fellow fan, Bob, and chatted.  The venue itself is a gorgeous Spanish Revival theater. Our seats were great.  There were a few issues as to where "Wheels" my rolling walker could go.  I actually had to WALK down the sloping aisle to place him safely out of harms way and toddle back UP.  At MOST theaters. they offer to help you with it.  Honestly, it was if they had never encountered a disabled person.  When I went to use the "powder room" at intermission, I was confronted by a staircase.  hmmm I asked the usher how I could use a restroom.  He seem... confused by the request and finally sent me down a hallway to another employee who let me out a back door and into the same restaurant we had just been in.  Ok then

The show...   Formerly Alien opened and they have such lovely voices, I really enjoyed the harmonies.  They began with an  acapella  version of "There's a place for us" from West Side Story.  They are a band with a shtick, for lack of a better word.  the whole premise is that it is 2069 and the Earth has been destroyed.  We are all on a spaceship, looking for a planet that we can live on.  The band is the entertainment in the Ship's lounge.  You get all this bit by bit and I think it would be better if they could start the show with some kind of newsreel type video to bring you into the story, so you are in on what they are talking about. I kind of knew, but some people are clueless.

I enjoyed them.

Now for my rant.  When you go to the theater, if you are LATE, you are seated at an appropriate pause in the show.  People were staggering in with their drinks and their popcorn, talking as if nothing was going on on the stage, not only for the opening act, but for the headliner.  I was miffed.  Seriously YOU are so important that you need to disturb other peoples enjoyment?  The girls to the left of us sat down then rearranged their seating order.  No one seemed concerned that they were blocking anyone while they did all of this.

  I have been trying to "enjoy the moment"  Chris says I need to work on being in the Now.  So I did .  I tried to just watch the show.  Even thought there was an announcement not to, almost everyone around me had their phones out, recording.  WHY would you want to watch the show via your tiny screen rather than the real thing??

The show was great but I honestly don't think their soundguy does a great job.  The sound on "Drivin'" was muddy as a puddle.  The vocals disappeared.  I LIKE that song.  I kinda wanted to HEAR it.

It is always  a treat to watch Rich Campbell, their bass-player extraordinaire.  At one point, I turned to Chris and said "Rich is so freaking cool"  Their new guitar player was awesome.  Steve Fekete was fun to watch and a terrific addition to the show. 

The show ended too soon and I paid the price for my enthusiasm that night and the next day. Pain level?  Intense.

I am getting my new knee on July 9.  It's gonna be awesome and I will be able to rock and roll on ONE good knee soon!

I should be writing

I used to define myself as a writer, but to be a writer, you actually have to stop what you are doing and put words on the page.

Alas, I have been distracted, tired or just too uninspired to write anything.

The current political climate scares the bejesus out of me and I don't want to be sucked down into the morass of daily complaining and whining.  I want action about this country, but I am not sure what.  We need change.  These are scary times and I fear for the whole planet, not just my little patch of the Foothills

I have been enjoined NOT to write too much about my grandson- and the one who will join the family this fall.


I am trying NOT to obsess about the upcoming surgery, but people keep telling me horror stories.  To save time here in future convos:

1. yes, I know it will hurt
2. yes, i Know PT  is important
3. yes, I know PT will hurt
4. No, I don't want to hear about the terrible thing that happened to your aunt's cousin' sister's hairstylist

Pleas just tell me I will be ok.  Offer to visit me bring me snacks.  This is daunting enough without any "advice".

I just turned 61 on Sunday.  SIXTY-ONE   How the heck did THAT happen??  Time marches on, as the saying goes.

So today, I will sing in the car on my way to work, try not to let the stresses of the day knock me flat, try more to live in the moment ( more on that if I ever get the review of the concert we went to on Friday, I have a rant and a rave in my head)

Peace.

Am I too sensitive?

I think so, yes I am.  Often I overreact and I KNOW I am doing it.  I am working on , shrugging and saying "whatever"


Tonight We invited a couple to join us for dinner tomorrow evening.  As I had just done a boatload of grocery shopping, I thought dinner here would be nicer, more relaxing. The last few forays at places have been not as relaxing as I had wished and I have an anxiety filled week ahead ( more on THAT in a later post- maybe).  I offered to make my ( world-famous)  Spaghetti and meatballs.  Apparently the wife is on a no carb diet.  I asked what she COULD eat ( if you have eaten here you know that is my M.O.- I ask what you can eat and what you WON'T eat if I invite you to my home.)

She said no.  I couldn't make the food she could eat and she would bring her own.

We are going OUT to dinner instead, but I am wounded!  I consider myself to be a pretty fair cook and I think I could have rustled up a meal that met her dietary needs (the Mediterranean place we are going is NOT that complicated.)

Sigh

So.  Weigh in. Is this an insult or am I being overly sensitive here?  I can't even think about making a meal for half the guests and have someone bring something she picked up at the local "takeout" because I could not understand her dietary needs.

an LA Story

I went last night to hear my friend, Renaissance Man, Sheldon Wright perform his piece at an  "Unheard LA" event at the Little Tokyo Library.  There were three speakers. I came in late and missed the first, but there is a website and I will be looking at and listening to the stories over the next few days.

Sheldon talked about his LA Marathon experience.  It was a wonderful piece.  He asked me if I planned on applying for this,  well probably not, but it DID challenge me to write a piece that might be a phantom part of it, sort of an exercise.

It's supposed to be five to six minutes.  Someone said about 150 words is a minute, but I looked it up and they said 750 words is a five minute speech.  Fine.  Three pages. 

I can do this.

HA!

Here is my LA story ( it's a nicer one than I thought about and spoke with Sheldon about last night)

I used to take the subway to work.  I got on at North Hollywood and rode the nineteen minutes to 7th Metro.  Riding the subway made me feel like a real commuter, like all those movies and stories about living in New York that my mom used to tell me.  Actually, I felt connected to my Mom when I rode the subway, as she used to do.

One morning I got on the train and headed back toward my preferred seat at the rear of the train.  North Hollywood was the last stop and the train was usually empty when I got on.  There was a woman fast asleep in the seat.  Now, sometimes street people get on the subway and sleep.  It's probably safer to them than sleeping on the street or maybe they are just tired.  In any case, this woman was dressed professionally, so I touched her arm lightly and said "Ma'am, you're in North Hollywood"  She started   "what?" she said, looking confused  "You are at the end of the line" I said  "did you need to get off here?  The train is getting ready to leave"  "Oh NO!" she said  I needed to go to Wilshire and Western"  Well she was about 20 minutes away and on the wrong train.  To get where she needed to be, she would have to switch trains at another station.  She was lost.   She started to cry a bit, telling me this was her first day taking the train, she had just started this job and had decided the train was her best option.  Now, she was going to be late.  "Don't let me fall back to sleep" she said to me  "Don't worry, I won't"  I replied.   We talked about nothing, just jobs and taking the train and how worried she was about her boss being angry she was late.  I told her how to get to the train and what to look for on the header signs, so she didn't wind up going the wrong way.  We were soon at her stop and I sent her off with a wave and a small prayer that her boss would understand what had happened to her and be forgiving.

That day at work, I thought about her and wondered how she was doing, but figured that I would never really know.  The chances of meeting her were pretty much slim and none, as she had been on the wrong train to begin with. 

At the end of the day, I felt a real sense of urgency to leave the office on time for a change.  It was really... weird. I kept feeling like  I HAD to leave. NOW.  So I packed up my stuff and hurried to the train station.   Usually, I meander, clear off with the Security guys about whatever is going on and stroll to the station.  On this day, I actually hurried.  Normally I would go to the bottom of the stairs and turn right, going all the way to the end of the platform.  Getting a seat was always easier in the rear car at that time of day. This time, I turned LEFT and went toward the front cars.   I looked next to me and SHE was standing there; the lost woman from the morning.   I laughed and said "Don't tell me you're lost again"  She JUMPED and stared at me. "YES" she said  " I AM"  and I was standing here praying "Oh please Lord, send me that woman from this morning and here you are!" 


I was able to ask her how her day went . Her boss was understanding and she said she would be able to get to the right train going.  I told her how to get to the train going home.  She was standing on the wrong platform when I found her.  I got her to her train and headed home myself.

I no longer take the subway.  I moved to another part of the City and the subway no longer works for me.  I miss it sometimes and sometimes I think of the lost woman and hope she is doing fine. 

I think that's the ONLY time I have been the direct answer to someone's prayer.

Word count on this piece is 708.  Close enough!

May the Fourth be with you

Ok I know it is something of a hackneyed cliche, but hey!

I remember seeing the original Star Wars back in May of 1977, I was engaged to be married and we went to see the movie a total of- I think- seven times that Summer ( in between, we got married)

We saw it at the drive in.  Back then, you hooked the movie up to your own sound system and relaxed in your car with the snacks you brought.  It was better than the theater. 

We probably smoked a few while we were waiting for the film.  Don't judge!  It was the 70's  it was a thing.

The things I remember about it are how blown away we all were at the graphics and the "magic" that Industrial Light and Magic brought to our eyes.  We rooted for Luke, thrilled when Han showed his true colors and loved Leia for her spunk.

I hated when Disney took over the franchise.  I REALLY hated when they sanitized the bar scene and made it so that Han did not just shoot first.  It made his "redemption" as it were, at the end of the first film so much better.  We all know Han was an asshole.  He should have remained that way in the later releases.

The later films were just ok.  There is a saying in film that "a sequel Never equals"  and even though these films were created to be a series, I was not wowed by the others as I was by this one ( I'm looking at YOU JarJarBinks)

I wish I had a copy of the undoctored film somewhere. That would be a treat to watch today

April 29

My favorite day
is Friday night


I take of my shoes
and shed the workweek
outside my front door

I don't need to put that coat
of responsibility
until Monday morning

Saturday
I try to be lazy
but all the things
waiting inside my house pounce on me
in the morning hours
Laundry, sadly
will not do itself


Saturday evening
relax and read. 
recharge with a
meal and a laugh

sleep in on Sunday
ignore the bells
of the local church
which do not ring for me

My least favorite day
is Sunday night.

Someone always says something
about having to work in the morning
(sometimes it's  me
either way it's a total buzzkill)

Monday morning comes too early
and I am late again
no matter HOW early I get out of bed.

anatomy of a panic attack - April 24

Heart begins to flutter
then
POUND

Can't
breathe

( remember slow shallow breaths)


pulse races in your ears
can't think clearly

( imagine you are floating in a pool
sunshine gently
warming your face)

Heart hurts
Chest feels like a
giant hand
pressing down

( listen to the seagulls
skimming over the waves
calling to one another in
their rough voices)

Gasping for air
eyes closed
face in hands

(go to your "happy place")

Slowly, returning to what might be
considered normal
but the
taste of panic
remains on your tongue.