Music

I have often thought that musicians are our current poets and philosophers.  I often find something that helps me find my direction when I am questioning my mind , in a song. Last night on the way home, I heard a Phil Collins song from the 80's I had not heard in a long time. I liked Phil then, before he became sort of a public arrogant bastard.  The lyrics resonated:

Now everybody keeps telling me how to be
and everybody tells me do what they say
Oh, I'll help myself it's up to me and no one else
but till I'm ready just keep out of my way


I wonder sometimes if music comes into our lives at the moment we need it.  I know that hearing "Solsbury Hill" years ago helped me to decide that it was time to change jobs.  I was incredibly unhappy and did not know what I wanted to do- much more unhappy than I am now.  For THAT job I had to talk myself into going to every day and I would flee the minute my time was up.  It was a bit like serving time, I suppose, but not really.  It was horrible in every aspect.  My current situation is not like that.  I am overworked, well I FEEL overworked, and I hope for relief and change. The job I applied for is all writing and research, but it IS with he Police Department and I have had my doubts about working for another law enforcement agency ( my former Job From Hell was with Parking Enforcement).  I am still unsure.  I will follow some advice and take the interview if it is offered.  I think I will know when I go if it is right for me.  What stops me is that I have two to three years left and I am feeling conflicted.  Really conflicted.  Do I want to leave people I love- and I do love the people out there in my branches- to do something else?  My focus has always been to try to serve the greater good.  Libraries do that.  I suppose I need to look within, see what it is I want in my "career"  although at this stage of the game can I really call my working life a career?  I am struggling, and oversharing here in the blog I suppose.  But this blog IS titled "Inside Robyn's Brain" and I warned you from the outset that it would be a trip inside my mind from time to time.  Welcome to the chaos of thought that is my mind right now!

I will seek out soothing music and the philosophy of singers whose work may unexpectedly help me unlock the puzzle.  I can only ask myself what next, as there is really no one else who really knows what I  want,and I'm not sure I even know.