Goodbye Goodbye 2020

 Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes

How do you measure? Measure a year?

I woke up with that line from the song  from "rent" in my head.  This year has been many things.  I am struggling with words for it.  If I continue quoting song lyrics I can go on to  Paul Simon " And I don't know a soul who's not been battered, I don't have a friend who feels at ease, I don't know a dream that's not been shattered, Or driven to its knees. "  It's like that this morning, as I sit in my corner of my kitchen that has doubled as my workplace since March.  At the start, it was kind of cool to be home and not have to get up so early and put on business attire- I am NOT wearing PJs at work, but I haven't worn a dress and stockings in months.  Now, it's kind of a drag.  I miss the building, my co-workers, the books.  I miss the ability to end my day in a real and concrete way, I miss decompressing in the car by singing along with the radio or listening to a really good book.  But I really can't complain.  I am lucky beyond measure that my work - and my paycheck- can continue.  This year, I donated more to charity than I ever have.  People are hurting.  It was something I COULD do.  Doing that gave me a little sense of  control, I guess.  Action  rather than inaction.  

Everyone can agree, it's been a rough year.

I am looking forward to brushing the dust of this year off my feet.  I am looking with hope toward a renewed sense of purpose as this country moves away from the Con Artist who has convinced about 70 million people that up is down and black is white and Obama is coming for your guns...How can you leave this year without discussing the cesspool that he has made of the American political system?  He has really made it clear that there is an "Us and them" mentality in some people and he has worked to make people hate and fear, rather than love and trust.  He  ramps up his base ( who are truly "base" in my opinion) and calls them "Patriots"  I wonder how my seven times great grandfather Frederick Castor who really WAS a patriot  would feel about designating people advocating the overthrow of our Republic as such  (the family is part of Pennsylvania history, I found a book on the family this year and found it interesting to read).

Still it's been a year.  One of my friends posed this fill in the blank on Facebook  "This year I learned that _____

Hmmm.  Well , This year I learned that people are  easy to panic and that toilet paper should be stockpiled.  This year I learned that some people will believe anything if it plays to their darkest fears.  This year, I learned that some people will rise and be stronger than even they knew they could be.  This year, I have learned it is ok to walk away from people, that you can't change a closed mind and that it is important to take care of your heart and mind.  Where there is life, there is always hope.

As we count down to the last day of the year, I am looking for end and beginning traditions.  The Irish leave the door open to let the old year out and the new year in.  As I heard gunfire this morning ( yes at 6 am some idiot was shooting on the block) I am not sure about that one.  Germans eat some kind of pork on New Years Day and in the South black eyed peas are for luck.  Probably try to get both,  we will need all the luck we can muster in 2021

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Twenty-three and one half days of this BS

 I am looking forward to the removal of the Orange Menace on January 20. He STILL has not conceded and I doubt he ever will.  He and his followers and delusional.  I personally think it's the end of his con job to bilk as much from them as he possible can.  the rich aren't sending money- well maybe they are there was that guy who sent a million to help in the "legal fight" only to find the people he sent it to had folded their tents and left town.  Still pensioners are being asked to send 5 dollars to help him in his legal challenge, when the money is REALLY going to pay off his debts ( read the fine print, folks)

I had a disturbing discussion with a friend who is a VERY observant Jew.  She is a Trump supporter and she went on and on about his "peace accord" and how there were menorahs on display in formerly Muslim Countries and how THAT was the reason he should stay in power.  I knew there was no dissuading her, but I wondered about the children at the American borders, being taken from their families, the  Exit from the Paris accords, the devastation of American National parks in the name of mining, the changes in the laws that make it easier and LEGAL for Corporations to abuse and fire employees, the lack of help for the truly poor in this country.  so yeah, a "Peace accord", basically a promise not to fight,  where there is NO WAR GOING ON.  Yeah  Ok.  got it.  That thing won't be worth the paper it's written on once he is gone.  Whatever The son-in-law promised them won't be available after January 20. I am looking at my friend in a new light.  We work together and I like her, but she is a single issue voter and the issue is so small, I am curious.  Sure, peace in the Middle East is important.  But so are the issues here at home.  Somehow, there is a faction of the Republican Party who seem to have descended from the Puritans, who believe that being poor si a sin and a punishment from God.  Never mind what Jesus said ( the uber Christian right slays me- I often say they forget Jesus was a brown- skinned  Middle Easter Jew, and if he showed up today with the message from the New Testament, they would toss him in jail or burn him as a Socialist)

I see the Nashville bomber was an older white male.  SHOCKING!  that Trump has not said ANYTHING about a major downtown area of a large city had this happen is not as surprising as it may seem.  After all, her was probably one of his base and mistakenly believed he was "helping" by destroying voting machines, or some such nonsense.  Unless he left a manifesto, we may never know.

I remain hopeful in Biden and Harris.  They have a HARD row to hoe.  The trump ( small "t" intentional) "administration" is doing a great disservice to the Nation they claim to love by not doing a proper handoff.  The last time there was this kind of thing, was 2001 and the Department of Defense went without leadership or information for at least a month into the new administration.   We all should remember what happened in September of that year.

Friday Morning and I need coffee

 I am up before I want to be, but things need to be done this morning.  Coffee is my buddy.   The holidays always seem to get here before I am ready, this year is probably worse.  The pandemic has given me the blues.  I really need to snap out of it.  I am lucky.  I have a job that let's me work from home and I can talk to people all over the world via my computer.  This is a "first World" problem, to be sad.  So I am acknowledging my feelings and trying to find the positive in all of this.

A former family member- an older woman who thought she had the right to order me around, used to try to tell me HOW to feel.  "You shouldn't feel that way"  she would say.  I am sure she ate and swallowed her feelings.  It is far healthier to bring them out into the sunlight and try to resolve what is bothering you.  Better for you in so many ways.

There.  Now that I have said it, I can move onto other things.  With Christmas and all the holidays that are rolling along I am working on my "attitude of gratitude"  It's been tougher this year, because frankly I am grumpy.  I love having people in to celebrate the season and this time of year, I have people in to dinner- a lot.  This year I am making lasagna, but not a humongous pan of it, maybe a wee bit smaller this year.  My living room is awash in boxes and files, since Chris and I are both home and his projects which would normally be elsewhere are on my dining room table.  I am grateful to be able to work and grateful that Chris is doing something as well. There is a meme that says you will come out of this a drunk., a monk or a chunk.  I am somewhere in between the last two, although  I did experiment with flavored whiskey ( which may have been a WEE bit too strong, but I like it)

Gratitude.  I am grateful for my grandsons. They are the spark that makes me happy.  Mason barely knows me, although I talk to him on the phone and he grudgingly says "hi"  Bob is starting to read.  I am proud of his accomplishments.

I am happily married to my best friend.  I honestly don't think I would have made it these past months without Chris.  He's a rock. and I love him ( well DUH)  

I need to remember the small things I am grateful for.  

Donald Trump is not going to be president in 32 days.  My dearest wish is the media will STOP covering everything he does or says, Twitter will ban him, the NY Attorney General will indict him and his idiotic children for their crimes and that he won't be able to live in Mar-a-Lago.  Years ago, to avoid a YUGE tax bill  he declared it a private club and not a residence.  He made a promise in court not to live there.  It's in writing.   I loved that the rich people in Palm Beach said, rather airily that there are a LOT of nice estates for sale here and he can buy one of those.  That will be interesting to see how it plays out , as he is a broke as a joke.  I saw a guy was trying to buy the childhood home and give it to him.    Maybe he can live there, but it's in New York and I don't think Melania wants to move to that dinky house.  Maybe I have a little too much anticipated schadenfreude with this guy but he deserve what happens based on his actions.  

Still Christmas Day is next Friday. Seven days. I still don't have a tree. and I hope to get one.  Otherwise, I have the little Charlie Brown tree out front  in the garden area under my front window.  I really WANT a real tree this year but this year has been so full of stops and starts it's hard to say what will happen.  

Happy Hanukah and all that Jazz

 I think it starts tonight?  Last Night?  not sure but eight nights of celebration.  I have a friend who says that most Jewish holidays  revolve around the idea "They tried to kill us, LET'S EAT"  I think that's good.  Better than the holidays of  Christianity which involve a lot of churching up  ( now- before you get at me about that, take a look at the Christian holidays.  you've gotta go to CHURCH before you can eat- you KNOW it's true.  Not BAD just true.)

I think about comedian Dennis Wolfberg, who used to say someone in all earnestness wished him a Happy Chaka Khan. It's the thought that counts, right?   Here's where my usual holiday wheeze begins

Merry Christmas.  The Trump train and all its passengers says there is a "War on Christmas"  WHAT?  Has Christmas been cancelled, shut in a box where we may never see red and green Santas again????    No .It has not.  The thing that gets their tighty-whities in a bunch is being asked to be considerate of  people who don't celebrate CHRISTMAS, but celebrate some other Winter holiday ( there ARE a lot of them, apparently humans need something to do in the time we are stuck indoors)  Somehow, Christians seem to think they are the ONLY people on the planet and can't understand why wishing someone a Happy Holidya-they-don't- celebrate MIGHT be annoyingly inappropriate.

By aligning himself with the Christian Right and their War on Christmas shtick , Trump has branded himself the Savior of Christianity - and repeats that he is the Second Coming.  His wife however is salty about having to oversee the decorations for F-ing Christmas, so there you are with THAT family in a nutshell

Back to it,  I LOVE the Winter Holidays.  If there weren't a pandemic raging right now, I would be having friends in for latkes this weekend and would be looking to celebrate the season in every way possible.  Winter is a time for reflection and since my mad whirl of cookie baking and parties is NOT happening, I am going to try to focus on what is really important ( no, not my Christmas lasagna or the fudgies)   I am not writing Christmas cards, but will reach out to my friends in some way, starting here.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!  More tomorrow.

 

How do we spend the time

 It's lockdown again.  Who thought in March when they sent us home, we would be looking at this sad holiday season?  I thought maybe a month or two.  I had no clear understanding, obviously of the severity of the virus and the mass stupidity of humans.  The ones who need to be sent to live in a commune by themselves are the  "you can't make me wear a mask, it's my freedom not to" people. they should have trump be in charge.  No doctors, just let herd immunity take over.  See how well THAT works, as apparently  you don't actually GET immunity once you've had this.

so.  we wait.

I read a meme that said you will come out of this a monk , a chunk or a drunk.   I am between the first two, although I HAVE been making different alcohols and plan on making Kahlua this weekend ( that's MONK-LIKE, right, they made wine and stuff???)

I have been baking and playing "Chopped kitchen"  with dinner.  We order from local restaurants- not as often as we used to GO there- and  I need to take a look at my reading list.  I signed up to be an ARC reader and reviewer and it is interesting to try to say something different about each book, why you should read it or pass on it.  Some are better than others, but I am enjoying them.  I also finally figured out how to get my books on the Kindle.  Not a HUGE fan of it, but it will do.

I am trying to write.  I thought of a short- short story last night when I was trying , and failing, to fall asleep.  We will see if it makes it past the drafting stage.   

I read a book called Keynote for the ARC.  It was a series of vignettes, with one or two narrators.  I kept waiting for the stories to somehow connect, but they didn't at least to me.  It reminded me of a short story class I had in college. One guy wrote a series of stories which were about a guy and a girl he read them every class as we were supposed to do.  One week it was the guy, one week the girl. You just KNEW they would meet at some point and there would be a grand.. something..that happened.  they met alright.  They passed each other on a path and noted the other person, and did not interact.  At all.  It was so ..disappointing ( I want to say like bad sex, all build up and no climax, but that might be offensive, heck I'll say it)  I hope my story will at least be food for thought.

Going to do a wee bit of baking for Christmas, but not on my usual grand scale.  I need to see what Chris might like  other than fudgies which are a GIVEN.  I hope to bake with Bob.  I don't know when that will be.

I am hopeful for the new year and the new president.  I am hopeful for the vaccine, although the outgoing administration BLEW that one as well. ( Follow the money, they probably didn't invest in the company that ultimately made it)

Staying at home, working from home.  I long for Spring and freedom and the end of this pandemic.  WEAR THE FREAKING MASK!!!!

More political ranting

 This year, this terrible year, is seeing itself out.  I am trying my best to remain hopeful in the last Clown-Car days of the Trump Administration.  He is one crazy MF and he is taking the Scorched Earth policy to heart.  Last night on Rachel Maddow, she compared what he is doing to the Governor of Tennessee in the 1970's  He was a corrupt person who used the office to enrich his family and sold pardons to inmates.  When he lost he pardoned a bunch of career criminals.  Via a little know hiccup in the State law, they were able to swear in the NEW Governor ahead of the scheduled date, thereby avoiding any further "pardons"  Sadly.  the date of the Presidential transfer is bound by the Constitution ( unlike, apparently Mr. Trump himself, who seems to take the laws set forth therein as "Suggestions")   Trump himself went on a 45 minute TIRADE last night on Facebook, repeatedly insisting that all the debunked crackpot theories were TRUE TRUE TRUE  and he had WON.  ( I didn't watch but a few minutes of it.  His hair was even blonder and pointier than it was last week.  I guess the "Look how gray I have become in service to you" ploy didn't work out as well as he had hoped and he is back to that hideous dye job.)

So we hang on.  It looks like Mike Pence is trying to salvage his political career and is backing off Trumps most outlandish claims.  Anyone want to bet they are trying to convince Trump to resign to avoid Federal prosecution?   He still has the State to contend with.  I wonder what country he will flee to.  It looks like his kids are all in trouble as well and it's falling apart.  

I take no glee in all of this, really.  This is OUR country and trump and his minions have spent a great deal of time and money over the last six or more years, sowing seeds of hate and division ( I am counting the whole birther movement and the crap about illegals voting BEFORE her ran for office.)  It is shameful.  a president serves ALL of us.  It is not supposed to be a "punish the side who lost" system.  No matter how you feel, you are supposed to do the best you can to make this nation a better place, NOT feather your own nest, nor try to get in the good graces of people you feel will help your BUSINESS. 

48 days.   I know we are counting it down.  Fasten your seatbelts.  It's going to be a bumpy night.

Politics, Politic, Politics

 The election was almost a month ago and still that moron in the White House LOST the election.  He and his supporters refuse to accept the results.  Is anyone surprised?   If you remember his rhetoric fro before he even BECAME "Candidate Trump" he was railing against illegal votes and illegal voters , claiming among other things that "illegal aliens" were voting.  He was whipping up the White Supremacists even then, pandering to them as his base.  He got racist ministers on board - I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall when Pat Robertson and Franklin Graham and that guy who runs Liberty University, stand before God  when it is their time, but I digress as usual.

The "case" being presented is laughable.  Lawyers who sought to make their mark serving the president are jumping off the sinking Trumptanic as quickly as they can.  You have a senile old man in Giuliani, whose fame came as having been in charge of New York when the towers were destroyed and there was a lot of empathy for him back then,  There is that nameless blonde with the perfectly coiffed hair, nodding like a cheerleader at a pep rally behind him.  Then there was- briefly- "Q-Anon Cutie" Sydney Powell whose spouting of conspiracies was too whacko for even the Trump team ( think about THAT for a minute) and they jettisoned her.  She still is making appearances, but her 15 minutes are just about up.

There has been no solid evidence of any voter fraud presented in any actual courtroom ( well maybe one or two people) let alone  evidence of MASSIVE fraud as is claimed in the Court of Public Opinion by Trump and his legal rats.  when they get to court,  they have NOTHING and meekly say  "oh this isn't a fraud case, your honor"

I think Trump had hoped to get the election question before the Supreme Court, but that is a HUGE longshot and getting longer by the hour.  Trump campaigned on being a "business man" and running the Government like he ran his business.  Why the Country didn't realize he was a FAILED businessman, and he went bankrupt an awful lot ( HOW THE HELL do you screw up a  casino-  GREED, that's HOW)  This is the point in his business model where he sues everyone ( see, Rudy and the failing court cases) because if he throws enough paper at people he can overwhelm his stockholders ( that would be us) and can win in court.  He then files for bankruptcy or Chapter 11 or something and starts over fresh.  I think he thinks he owns the Supreme Court and they will do what he tells them to do because he gave them a job.  The lower courts are setting precedent by stating that this is a State matter and NOT a Federal one.  Trump has done more to undermine our government than anyone.  Putin sure got his money's worth.

It's going to take Joe Biden and his team a long time to undo what has been done.  Someone remarked to me that Trump is taking the Scorched Earth policy to the extreme and we and in for a rough ride before he is out of the Oval Office.  The fact that his party is letting him ride roughshod over them shows the mark of who they are and where their allegiance's  lie;  not with the people they represent in their districts, but to the person considered the Head of the Party, the madman in the White House