Doctor's orders

I had a long conversation with my doctor yesterday.  We talked about a lot of things, including the state of my mental health.  I told her about the house flood and the broken toe- all in the two months since we had last spoken.  We talked about being housebound, due to my medical conditions in the time of the Corona virus

"what are you doing  for self-care"

I knew she would ask, so I had thought about it.  I AM trying to cook more "interesting" meals ( last night's version of Marsala sauce was good enough to write down)   but I can't really exercise with the stupid knee high boot.  I can't go out and take photos and road trips are out as well.

"Are you writing?"

Well, no not really.  I hit a place where I couldn't write anything that I wanted anyone else to read.  HECK  I didn't even want to read it and most of it wound up in the deleted pile.

I need to try.  So I am sitting here, trying  not really succeeding.  I am trying NOT to think too much about politics, except to hope we come to our senses when it comes to The Orange Menace.  Even the Evangelicals are starting to get a clue, except those who believe God sent him to us  to save us.  Michael Cohen has a book coming out and he is TALKING about Trump.  I love that he says "You don't have to like me,you just have to believe me."  When so MANY people say the same thing about someone, it is time to take a closer look.

I had better get to work.  I will be trying to write something every day.  Whether it will be readable is another story.

Kamala!

We knew he would pick a woman, thought it would be a woman of color, so the choice of Kamala Harris as  Joe Biden's running mate is not a HUGE surprise.  

I like her.  I know if she were our presidential candidate,I would vote for her.  Trumplethinskin is already claiming she is not a citizen. uh  Fat Donnie, if her MOTHER wasn't a citizen ( but was here legally) she is.  The rules apply to YOU too .Did you KNOW  Fat Donnie's MOTHER was NOT a citizen when HE was born???  Truth.  So turn about is fair play, as the saying goes.  GEE.  Can we  delegitimize HIS entire presidency?  Food for thought.

I think Ms Harris will be a wonderful Vice President.  Republican heads exploded everywhere and there is now a black woman  a"heartbeat from the presidency" ( see Theodore Roosevelt)  This must make them VERY VERY nervous.

Ms. Harris was a prosecutor in San Francisco. People tend to HATE prosecutors,   I try to remember that while the Defense speaks for the accused, the Prosecutor speaks for the victim, often giving voice to the dead.  They speak to the rule of law.  And while I have seen some cases that were presented that were just miscarriages of justice ( where the police made up the evidence to suit their theories and to chalk up one more in their "win" column) I realizes that both sides of the case must be presented as much as is possible to gain the correct outcome.  People will complain about her record or incarceration.  She did her job to the best of her ability.  

I believe she will be a great partner to Joe and an asset to this country, unlike the current sycophant who practically drools when gazing on his Dear Orange Leader.  I wonder if "Mother" is jealous?  I personally think she's a beard for Pence.  What she got out of it , we cannot know.  Maybe she didn't know his true self, when she married him- may  he didn't either. He's so deep in the closet he needs a flashlight and a road-map

I am looking at the next three months with a mixture of hope and dread.  The Dear Orange Leader is doing EVERYTHING he can to "fix" the election in his favor.  We need to fight back, get our Democracy back and fix what he broke.

Short thoughts

I am trying to read Mary Trump's book.  it is excellent, well written and really lays out why Donald, as she calls him, is the way he is.  what an awful family.  I keep having to put the book down when I finish a chapter. I have this "thing" where, if I don't want to spend time on a character, I don't read the book, no matter how "important" the book is to read. It's a push-back from my days as a lit major, where you HAD to read  so many "good" books that were more like slogging waist-high through mud than enjoyment.  The difference is I WANT to read Mary's book; I just HATE the characters.  I am only on Donald's teenage years. I suspect it gets worse.

I am stuck in the house and feeling trapped these days.  Chris does his best AND I have a telephone appointment with my doctor today, but the asthma is worse.  I blame stress.  I am wheezing and coughing more.  NORMALLY, we would have gone away for the weekend, but that is not possible at this juncture.  I need to find an outlet.  Still hopeful but this is the pits.

I see the Big Pharma companies are more concerned with how much they will MAKE for saving humankind than actually saving humankind.  Typical.  They only want to save those who can pay for it.

I saw Sweden - I think it was Sweden- said their experiment in herd immunity was not as successful as they had hoped.  I have to see it that was just another article of Facebook misdirection.  Honestly, triple checking stuff gets exhausting.


I am going to try to listen to a good book if all goes as planned today.  My house in 29 is still in an uproar, but there is hope on the horizon. Think a good thought for me!

Coffee in the morning.

I have no idea for today's blog so I am going to start by thinking about my Pandemic routine vs what I used to do, back i the Olden days.

I get up MUCH later now, as my "commute" is only about thirty seconds vs the good hour it used to take.  Frankly, I miss my car.  I miss my music or my book on cd.  I miss the gearing up for my day.  I used to use the time in the car to organize my workflow and plan what needed to be done.  Now?  I amble down the stairs, half awake , make a pot of Sumatra and plunk down in the chair.   It's early so I can check in with my friends, and do whatever "Housekeeping" needs to be done, either online or actual organization in my kitchen.  I used to get things into the crock-pot for dinner.  Now I sort of look in the pantry and see what I need to think about at the end of the day.  I don't do a lot of crock-pot cooking these days although I really should as it saves stress and keeps the house cooler.  I just don't have the inspiration.  I think being at home ALL THE FREAKING TIME has changed my mindset. 

I don't like it.


At all.



People say "Oh I LOVE working from home!" Not me.  when I WENT to work, my homelife was my homelife and my job was my job and while I had the  occasional late night phone call, work wasn't all over my tiny workspace.  I leave it the way it is right now, because rearranging my tiny area every day would be too time consuming.  I look forward to the day when I can return to work.  That may take some time.  I am super high risk, the medications I take for my asthma deplete my immune system.  There is talk about immuno-replacement and I am game, but with this stupid virus I don't know when that will be.

I'd like to say what I think about the virus, but the word I choose is an inelegant four letter one and I really would like to stay away from swearing today.

I miss the drive home.  Sure, rush hour, but the drive gave me time to decompress from what is a stressful job and switch gears to be the person I am in my home.  Slow down, unwind.  I used to plan meals in the car, or sometimes Chris and I would talk about grabbing a meal with friends.  I MISS friends in my home.  I haven't SEEN my shared wall neighbor in FOREVER,although we email and talk on the phone. His health is shaky as well.  We used to see each other every day and he would often join us for a meal or a snack and a chat. 

When all this is over, I am cooking EVERYTHING I can think of and calling everyone I know for a "Come over for a meal and a hug" extravaganza.  I hope they solve this soon, but it looks like my country will not be taking the lead, since we have a science denier in the White House.

November can't come soon enough.

Time travel

If you could go back in time and change something, would you?  It's one of those questions people ponder after too much smoke and wine and since I have had neither but the question is in my mind anyway, let me answer it.

I have been watching "once upon a time" on Netflix.  Originally, it was a cute concept, but Season 3 is going to be my last one.  This season, the Wicked Witch of the West comes to Storybrook and one of the things she wants to do is go back in time and change her past.  Here is the GINORMOUS plot hole.

She has to steal Snow's baby to do it, BUT the thing she is going to DO is kill Snow's MOTHER before she can marry Snow's father ( thus having Snow)  See the problem here?  No SNOW, no Baby, no time travel spell.  I suppose you can argue that time is somehow mutable and it's like a Choose Your Own Adventure book, but seriously. If you go back and kill someone, their children never exist

That really my problem with MOST time travel books and films ( Somewhere in Time is an exception- I think!)  If you change the past, it becomes the present and the future and you never KNEW any different timeline.

There was a Twilight Zone ( I Think or it may just have been a short story) about a man who gets his wish to go back to the time of the dinosaurs, but is warned NOT to get off the path. He sees a flower he must touch and in so doing steps on a butterfly, killing it,  When he returns to his own time, everything is changed. In killing the butterfly in the past he changed the future without meaning to.  The Twilight Zone was meant to scare you psychologically in many ways, but it also became one of those things stoners watched and talked about ( see "afternoons of smoke and wine") 


The Movie Time Bandits WAS fun, and I may try to watch that again sometime. It's about Time Traveling Dwarves who just want to have a god time and hide from an Evil something-or other, I forget.  I has Sean Connery in it. Lately I have trouble sitting still for even the half-hour or so that Once Upon A Time takes.   I blame Pandemic Cabin Fever.

So, in answer to the original question, no I would not go back in time to Stop John Kennedy's murder, or Abraham Lincoln's or stop myself from doing whatever stupid thing I did that I think I should not have done in retrospect.  The past makes up the present and even one tiny change may have a greater impact on the world.

Weddings in the time of Covid

I woke up thinking about Princess Beatrice, of all people.  She got married over the weekend in a small sweet ceremony.  I think she may have wanted something grander, but her wedding has been put aside several times and I am sure she just wanted to get married.  She wore a dress her grandmother- the FREAKING QUEEN OF ENGLAND- loaned her. It looked very nice and she looked very happy, they posted some cute snaps from the day.

I see a lot of people getting married and it gives me hope. People getting married, having babies, we are NOT giving up.  Covid is still going strong in a lot of places and I worry, even though I see that there are fewer deaths as the medical community get the upper hand in the battle.  I also see that we probably won't have a Jonas Salk come from anywhere and GIVE the vaccine away.  Every nation is trying to get there first, not to save their people, but for bragging rights.  Big Phama all over the world will be looking for a HUGE payday.  Why do I fear that the poor in this country will not fare well in the vaccination and treatment of the disease?

But,as usual, I digress.

While I have been off and watching bad television on my time off from work ( which is another topic for another day)  I have noticed a trend in "reality" television( and if you think any of this is "reality" I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale)  Wedding-o-rama.  There is this one show, Called Four Weddings, which is a minor train wreck.  The "brides" compete for an "amazing honeymoon"  They all pretend to be BFF's while sniping each other behind their backs in critiquing each other's weddings in an effort to win the big prize.  I have seen some crazy ceremonies ( the wedding of the trapeze artists, where the bride descended from the ceiling and has Circus Circus like "entertainment" at  the reception, comes to mind)  There have been some incredibly tacky moments as the bride attempts to "provide the most amazing experience" for the guests.

What ever happened to celebrating love and commitment? 


It's like ALL those "Say yes to the Dress" shows; I love seeing the dresses, but I can't help but think a lot of the tears are staged for the camera.  And I swear, if I hear that song "Forever Now" one more time- isn't that a bit of an oxymoron and who says "yes" as part of their wedding vows anyway???

I won't even START with the replacement for the Jerry Springer show that is "90-day Fiance"   and although I get sucked into it,  "Married at First Sight"


Television and long distance photos of weddings are pretty much all I have these days.  I was HOPING to get to England for my cousin's wedding in October, but I am not sure what will happen. It's a good thing we didn't go, because of the flood at my house in 29.  I am still dealing with THAT and will update this blog when I have a clear solution, right now it's day by day.

Sunday morning

I know, I should be writing every day, but depression and lack of sleep have made it hard to get up the extra half an hour early to write something before I have to check in at work.  I am working from home.  I am on the computer for work at least 9 hours a day.  The bloom is off the rose and while I used to come home and check in with friends, now I can't wait to get off this machine and veg out upstairs.  I watch far too much mindless television to relax.  I used to decompress in the car on the way home- an hour to an hour and a half of listening to music and singing or listening to a book on cd.  I never listened to politic in the car if I could help it.  I used that time to shake off the day, make dinner in my head so I could stop at the store if I needed to and be ready to spend quality time with my husband.   Now I move into the kitchen from my chair and make dinner.  Sometimes, I get inspired but  mostly it's just a meal. 


I hate this.


I hate that they have politicized what is a global health crisis and that people ACTUALLY BELIEVE that the ENTIRE world is conspiring to make 45 look bad and lose the election.  Yeah, people are pretending to die all over the world. It's a huge episode of "Punked"  They really believe it.   Until they or someone they know gets it and then the big AHA moment happens but it is too late.

I hate the lies that are coming out of the White House and that they have taken over releasing the numbers. The Faithful say it's because the CDC is LYING- again to make HIM look bad- and that THESE are the real numbers.  Funny  how SUDDENLY there are almost NO cases.  It's a MIRACLE!  Praise Trump!  All Hail the Orange one!

Sheesh.

In the meantime, babies in Texas are coming down with it, even though HE says children are immune and they should ALL go back to school in the fall.  Any bets on where son Baron is in the fall?  With his mother in Maryland ( you do know she doesn't sleep at the White House and she is staying with her parents- who came here via  "Chain migration"  JUST the thing he screamed about in one of his rallies)

Have you seen the campaign ad, with rioters and looters in the streets, meant to scare people into voting for him, saying "This is what it will look like in Biden's America"?  The PROBLEM - and it should be obvious- is THAT footage was shot RECENTLY, in TRUMP'S AMERICA.  I see he has his Storm Troopers pulling "dissidents" into unmarked vans and holding them in undisclosed locations.  Gee   Hitler Playbook, anyone?  If you publicly protest- as is your First Amendment Right- and you disagree with the policies  of the Dear Leader, you will be Disappeared. 

Once he gets rid of the First Amendment, he will go after the rest of them, mark my words.


He does not understand history or  the Constitution, which is a "Living document"  He wants to scrap the whole thing and write his own Manifesto.   His lawyers- Dewey Cheatem and Howe - are working on it.

His party lets him do whatever he wants.  He violates the Hatch Act?  Fine  His daughter does it?  Fine.  I was SICK to see the Resolute desk being used to hawk  products of a man who fawns after Trump.  He lies about his opponent and when caught at it has a hissy fit.  I really need to see ALL of Chris Wallace's interview, but the part I did see showed me a petulant child out of control.

Is THIS really who you want to lead this country?   Is the Republican Party so corrupt that they don't see that this is NOT a leader?   I don't think I have ever seen a President lose it publicly on such a regular basis.  Before you say, it's because the media is "mean" to him- think about the hard questions fielded by President Obama, Or Clinton or EITHER Bush.  Did they snap their fingers in the air like a bad customer calling for another Diet Coke to get their staff to scurry out with paperwork that he thought would prove his point,  The fact that it DIDN'T made him even crazier.  Did he end the interview at that point?  I really must check.

So this has been my Sunday morning rant.  I am going to get my mask on and go to the grocery store in a bit.  It's my BIG Adventure- that and the occasional Car Picnic that my poor husband takes me on to cheer me up.  I miss  my friends and my family and one of these days I am going to set up a Zoom Dinner party, just to see your faces.  Let me know if you are game.