June 23

 I woke up thinking about my mom today , for obvious reasons.  I was thinking about how scared she must have been, on this day in 1958, delivering a six weeks premature infant, alone .  She was in the hospital , but by herself as a neighbor she barely knew drove her in the middle of the night from the Valley to Kaiser Sunset. My Dad was at work and WHY she didn't call him is part of her character, I think she didn't want to disturb him at work. Back then, men didn't go into the delivery room anyway.  The next morning, the doctors came in and demanded to know why she had delivered me so early.  She snapped "you are the doctors!"   Who knows why.  I contend I was hungry.  I never really liked confined spaces, so maybe THAT'S it! She was convinced I would be ( pardon this word) "retarded" and would need to go to an institution for care ( it was common in the 50's to place special needs kids in they system, essentially warehousing them)  While I proved her wrong, the jury is still out on my sanity.

Every year on my birthday, I pause to reflect on the year that was and turn my thoughts to what I hope will happen in the coming year.   2020 was a complete washout, but I did learn something about myself, created a few new "pandemic dishes" that will remain in the recipe file.  I refuse to mourn what did not happen, and plan for it to happen THIS year.  

I count my blessings.  I learn from the good things and the not so good things.  I find my strength and my voice. I work on my craft and my art.  I recently re-read a quote from Kurt Vonnegut, an author I have read but not been wowed by.  He said "I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”   It gave me pause and comfort that while I may not have the skill or talent some of my friends do, I am looking at the experiences as part of my journey.  When I travel, I remember that the trip is part of the experience, not just the destination.  

James Taylor said that best "the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"  This year, as I begin what will be my 64th trip around the sun ( I am 63 today so...)  I will try .