Bullies

Maybe I "overshare" if there is such a thing for a blog titled "Inside Robyn's Brain" but I have to reason out some things in my head so I can move forward.  Bear with me.

I HATE bullies.  As a kid I used to stand up for my friends who were picked on, as much as I could.  In Elementary school, I was picked on by a girl named Virginia.  I think she was trying to get the attention of the local would-be gang members or something so she and her two friends would stop me on the play yard and threaten to beat me up.  I told her I wasn't afraid of her ( I was) and she kept it up for a week.  One day she jumped me from behind ( that's what bullies do after all, a sneak attack)  and socked me.  Thankfully, I was well trained in this tactic and I grabbed her by the hair on the front of her head and punched her in the face.  She fell over and I took off; living by the motto that she who fights and runs away lives to fight another day, I suppose.  We both wound up in the Principal's office,  I had told her I was sorry that had to happen.  SHE told the Principal I said I was sorry and I clarified it for him.  I told him she had been threatening me all week.  We had been friendly at some point and I was shocked at the change in her.  I suppose the teacher on yard duty had seen what happened and I was sent back to the classroom.  This was before that idiotic "zero tolerance" policy but I will get off on a rant about punishing the victim if I think any more about it.  My teacher applauded me and shook my hand.  I would be willing to bet that it was a topic of discussion before I got there.  Most of the kids knew she was a bully.  No one ever picked on me again, and I think her status as would-be schoolyard thug deflated a little.

Right now I am involved in three organizations and TWO of them  have issues that are bringing out the schoolyard thug in people.  Let me say this carefully.  You cannot make me do what I don't want to do by bullying me or trying to belittle me and my intelligence.  I am sick to death of veiled threats and openly hostile behavior.  In BOTH cases, patience and an open mind will solve the problem.  Eleanor Roosevelt said  "Do what you feel in your heart is right, you'll be criticized for it anyway."   I find myself thinking that WHATEVER I do, whatever WE do, since these decisions do not rest solely on me , about 50% of the people will be pissed off anyway.  Well, if you can do better, why aren't you more in the forefront?  I don't see these people at meetings or offering to help at events.  I just see  whining that THEY are not being considered.  In some cases, nastiness and name calling is breaking out.   I feel like I'm back on the play-yard at Sharp Avenue Elementary.

I need to find the courage it took to stand up to Virginia that day. It's in there somewhere.  I will do my best not to let the bullies win, but to fight for what I believe is right.  I have been accused of being naive, but I prefer to think of it as hopeful.  I don't think everyone has an ulterior motive, until they show that side of themselves.  Maybe I should be more suspicious, but I don't want to live that way.  So, I will continue to take people at their word until they show me that their word is a lie.