Recently, I got in a "discussion" with a relative who heretofore I had considered to be a reasonable person.. He has begun posting horribly skewed "articles" about gays and their relationships. His latest one has to do with some survey about twins and how their identical DNA PROVES that being gay is a choice. STOP.. It made my head hurt with all the pretzel logic. Some of these things in the article reminded me of that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, where they try to determine if the woman is a witch. The line of reasoning is correct, it's just that the answer they get is wrong.
So, follow the bouncing ball of MY logic.
If being gay is a choice, then so must being straight be a choice. I want to know when all those straight people CHOSE the straight life, what their thought process was and how they worked to be straight. The question I must also ask is this; "If being homosexual were the societal norm, could you change how you feel?" I can only speak for myself. At one point in my life I DID question my sexuality. It was during a time of great upheaval and I pondered the question. I came to the conclusion that, no, I was definitely straight and the "problem" was not me but the person I was having the relationship with. This was NOT me making a choice, but confirming what I knew to be true for me.
Some people say that gays being allowed to marry undermines marriage. DIVORCE undermines marriage. How does my neighbor's marriage impact me or my life? That's right, it doesn't. I know people who have been divorced two or three times. Does this impact my marriage? No. So how does giving someone the legal right to wed, to extend to ALL citizens the same right, impact MY marriage, or even my life? I am at a loss to explain it.
My question to people who are vehemently opposed to gay rights is this "What are you afraid of?" I am tired of hearing the mistaken concept that gay people will molest children. Pedophilia is not homosexuality. No one is trying to turn you or your children gay. The concept is ludicrous. Being openly gay and leading a normal happy life should not be mutually exclusive. No one should have to hide who they are if it harms no one. Pedophiles ARE a completely different animal and are off the table in this discussion.
Back to the article about twins. I wondered this morning if there are any studies about twins who are right-handed and left handed. Back in the Middle Ages, left handed people were thought to be in league with the Devil and so children who showed a preference for being left handed were beaten and "retrained" to fit that societal norm of being right handed. Did they choose to be left handed? No, they just were. They were born that way.
On Sunday, I will be joining my friends and co-workers from the Library in the Pride Parade. I walk alongside my friends to show how far we have come and to acknowledge how much further we need to go.
I waited a while to start responding to Robyn on this, only because she hit most of the big points, and also because so much has been written - what can I write that is new?
ReplyDeleteNot wanting to start off by being combative, so let me say, haters ginna hate, no matter what.
I can't see that traditional straight marriage is doing so well in this country, and actually, it annoys me that couples who COULD get married just don't, but sometimes continue to spawn. If, as one of the big argumentss goes, marriage is about procreation, then get married first and then start. But that makes me say, then people who don't or can't have children - well, no marriage for you! Women who are above a certain age - NO! Couples where one or the other is infertile (sterile seems so harsh!) NO! Couples who, for whatever reason, don't wish to have children - NO!
The "undermining' arguement - well, that is just nothing. Means nothing. Nicky Hilton, Britney Spears - oh, we got married on a lark - THAT is undermining!
Religion? Well, two things: Many couples get married without going through a religious ceremony. Marriage is NOT a religious thing - it is a civil contract. Sorry, but that is just true - try to get married without a license. Which also means that argument about churches now being forced to perform gay marriage - ha ha ha. They say no. Many straight couples find they cannot get married in the church of their choice - my own parents - my mother was a devout Catholic, but my father had been divorced, so they had to get married by a justice of the peace. I cannot recall that Saint Andrew's in Pasadena was FORCED to perform their wedding.
And speaking of divorce. IF marriage is this one man and one woman thing - then NO DIVORCE! One man and one woman for life. That's it! And if someone commits adultary - stone them, or behead them, whichever is cheaper.
And this thing about children needing a father and a mother - then how come I keep reading these horrible stories about men and women killing their children and spouses, or drowning their children (that seems to be mothers mostly, though)
I guess my rambling point is, so far I have heard no cogent or well-reasoned argument against gay marriage. The points all seem to be hysterical emotion, and unheeding of the facts that straight people aren't doing most of this.
And don't just say, "That's different." To that, I say, read one of Robyn's earlier posts about picking and choosing which parts of Leviticus one wishes to follow.
Basically, here's what I will say. One of the clergy at my church said that people need to get away from the "groin area," and just realize that most people, gay and straight, want to get married to set up their own homes, and build a life together.
Amen.