Somewhere at the end of my first marriage, my
soon-to-be-ex snapped at me "you don't'
do what you're told." I believe my
clever rejoinder was something akin to "duh" I Do have a degree in English, pithy repartee
is my bailiwick, please do not attempt this at home as injuries may occur.
My point is I do not respond well to being commanded. Or
bullied. Or threatened. Like many
women of Baby Boomer age, I was raised
to believe in the value of my opinion . The best way to get me to do something
is to ASK. I was recently told if I did
not drop everything and attend a meeting I was unaware of I would not be on the
Committee. Really? That simple?
I should have thought of that dodge ages ago. Ok I am cool with that. Do not think that threatening me or bullying
me will work. I really don't respond
well to that and will do one of two things, neither of which is to follow your
order. I will either ignore the order or
do the complete opposite, just to be contrary.
Childish? Probably. If we are going to work together on
something, anything, here is my line in the sand. DO NOT ORDER ME TO DO ANYTHING. It puts my Irish up, as my Dad used to say,
and when I get my Irish up, things can get unpleasant.
Recently, several well-meaning friends have been trying to
tell me how to live my life. I know they
are worried about me, so I am taking the advice for what it is, something I already know and am thinking about. I heard a song from Cat Stevens the other day
, when he was Cat Stevens , just a garden variety folksinger who had a
reputation for being a bit of an asshole, not the "Kill 'em all and Let
Allah sort it out" fool he is today.
The song, Father/Son, is sung between a father and a son who is growing
up and moving into his own life. The line "If they were right, I'd agree,
but it's them they know not me" resonated with me. I appreciate that people love me enough to
tell me what they think I should do, but I know myself and what I feel I want
to do. As in all things, I am a planner
THEN a doer and I need more information before I make any sort of move toward
anything. Given the events of the past
few weeks, I am still a wee bit shaky
and I know better than to make any really BIG changes in this frame of
mind. I will seek more professional,
dispassionate advice.
In the meantime, I'm going to take the advice of several medical professionals and avoid stress as much as possible, get more exercise and relax. I have several books I need to finish, including the new Elvis Cole. I am not sure how I feel about Elvis. I hope he is better than he has been in the past few books. His personality has made me really want to hang out with Joe Pike more. We shall see and I promise to write a review of the book AND the things that went on in Laughlin over the weekend. Odd stuff, not terrible, just... odd.
Well, I hope my well meaning directives to rest and relax are not what you are referring to here, because that's not going to stop, you can't tell me what to do either ;-). We only want to help because we love and care for you and we were scared too when you went to the E.R. If you feel better, we will too :-)
ReplyDeleteTHAT"S RIGHT! Your medical professional (although he or she is not me) and I are sort of on the same page. Avoid stress, loll around (I am paraphrasing) Exercise more? Well, I admit, not my personal favorite, but OK, sure.
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh, though, when you were talking about ordering others around. My late mistake had a real aversion to being told what to do, and I remember one evening we were at a play with friends, and suddenly the theater had to be evacuated immediately. Well, he was in no hurry (unlike me, and the dozens behind him) so I gave him a shove and said "GO TOM!" (We were both named Tom, isn't that cute -both librarians, too, even cuter - barf) Well, that had the effect of stopping him cold and he turned around and started to give me a dressing down - alas, alas, I side stepped him, went to safety, and I believe he was pushed and shoved and almost knocked to the ground by semi-hystericla theater goers who had no time for his attitudes.
Was there a point to that dumb anecdote?
Oh, yeah, it's that in emergencies, we do order people around.
Yours is not that, yet, and I am sure if you follow MY kindly meant SUGGESTIONS to loll around and relax and read (my personal faves!) you'll love it! Please?
Tom
(Currently lolling around)