Leader of the Band

Last evening, after much changing of dates, we had dinner with some friends, my longtime coworker and his bride (this was a long delayed celebration of that happy event)  I made my (now famous) lasagna cupcakes and baked a fresh apple/raisin pie.  As is my custom when I am cooking I was listening to Pandora ( the James Taylor station, I love me some JT!)  As I was sliding the pie into the oven, the Dan Fogelberg song "Leader of the Band" came on.  The song is essentially about his relationship with his father as Dan chose to be a musician like his father and the legacy that his father gave him.  I sat down and sobbed.  Today marks the third anniversary of my father's death.  I try not to think about it as death Per Se, but the anniversary of his going to join my mother; something he dearly wished to do.  His faith that they would be together again sustained him.  He loved her and missed her all the days they were apart.  I know they are together, but I can't help but miss him.

The song got me thinking about how I learned to cook mostly from my father and I think I inherited some of his skills.  I am fierce in the kitchen and I love to create meals and new dishes.  It is , in the words of the song "the gift I never can repay."  Sometimes when I am cooking I hear him in my head, telling me some kind of shortcut  or  little trick.  I go on instinct a lot.  I like to think it's some genetic material passed on through my dad.  I don't know, but cooking connected us. I know he taught my daughter, Kate, some of his tricks as well.  I have his recipe for soft pretzels, but have not had the heart to try to make them yet.  They were his own creation, not quite what you get from a pretzel cart but delicious all the same.  I need to try them and play with them; it just makes me cry to think of it right now.

I am hoping for a busy day, so I will not have time to think to much about missing my dad; otherwise it's going to be a rough day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsocZrEcp0Y