Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two
But I can shake it, shake it
Like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places
I've always been a curvy girl, even in Elementary school, when I started to "develop" as they used to say, I had curves. Yesterday, a person I had worked with and considered a friend saw me and said "what happened to you? You used to be on some kind of diet all the time, but now..." and she let her eyes travel the length of my body. Yeah I have put on weight, menopause and happy living will do that to you, but she made me feel bad and it got me to thinking about fat shaming.
I posted the little rant about it on my FB page and one of my friends, Stacey K. Black, reminded me that "fat" is just an adjective, not an insult. When did carrying a bit of softness become shameful? When did that extra ounce of suppleness become a major crime against humanity? Why do we look at people who aren't magazine models and think negative thoughts about them? Truth to tell, magazine models aren't really that thin either, most are probably airbrushed.
We need to change how we look at people, as if "fat" people are somehow less than the rest of the skinny-mini nation. At 103 pounds in High School, I was still considered the fat one. I had thighs and boobs and an ample backside. It didn't help when I married a man who seemed to expect that marriage to him would suddenly morph me into a tall, leggy blonde.
I am a collector of words, so this morning I am trying to think of words that have positive connotations in regard to size:
"Fat" as in a fat purse or wallet. Wasn't it fashionable a few years ago to say "Phat" as a positive comment? I was thinking about Lula from the Stephanie Plum novels who embraces her Big Black Beautiful self, but she DOES go ballistic about being name-called as "fat". Lula squeezes herself into tiny cloths and has no problem showing her curves.
"Voluptuous" I dated a guy who said it was "petite and voluptuous" versus "short and fat" Always liked that guy, and I try to embrace that, although another guy, who called me to ask me out said that those two words cancelled each other out and there was no way I could be both. I declined the date.
"Bountiful" and "ample" The words connote a level of a wealth of comfort, don't they?
"Zaftig' Literally "Softy" Get a hug from me and you will experience a zaftig-ness like no other.
Do I feel uncomfortable with my weight? Well yes and no. I know that I will never be the tiny girl I once was, but frankly I ate next to nothing to maintain that frame, borderline anorexic. I am 56 years old and my metabolism isn't what it once was. Do I need to exercise more? Yes, Yes I do and I need to find more time in my day to get the exercise I think I need. I also need to make exercise fun. Gotta work on that.
I am going to work on embracing the idea that "fat" is just another adjective; to try to change the "programming" that being overweight is something to be ashamed of. We need to look at the other fine qualities we bring to the table, along with our appetite!
Ah, Robyn, Robyn, you have touched me where I live. Since the summer I turned 9, I have had a weight problem - although back then, it truly was a thyroid issue. Now.......
ReplyDeleteIt is not so much the term "fat" or even "ample" or whatever, it is the intent behind the people who say this, and as I know, to my "sorrow," it is seldom a positive one. People try to cover their insult, and yes, I feel it is an insult, by saying, "Oh, it's just that I care about you." BAH! There are people to whom I no longer speak because they felt they had the right to say, in public, things about my "extra pounds." One guy actually started poking my belly at a party. I guess they don't know that I have eyes and I can see myself in the mirror. I kjnow when I am putting on weight. I know when it is harder to get pants around me and fastened, or have to move on up a size. Or when some of really nice things don't fit anymore. Oh, my absolute favorite suit has not been worn in almost two years, and it was touch and go then! And my doctor is the only one who gets to talk to me about it, but from the stanpoint of my health.........
Sorry, told you that this one hits me where I live.
In my opinion, you look exactly the same as you did when I first met you. The hellw itht he rest of them. Miss Manners says we should say, "Thank you so much for taking an interest...." and the more upset you are the more "o's" in so. I am trying to perfect that.
Tom
Anonymous said: "People try to cover their insult, and yes, I feel it is an insult, by saying, "Oh, it's just that I care about you." We call that "concern-trolling."
ReplyDeleteThere are some really good blogs out there about fat politics. One I can recommend is https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/ The blogger has some great resources, including how to deal with doctors while fat, and how to respond to people who try to fat-shame.
Here's a recent post that's really good: https://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/2015/02/28/leonard-nimoy-naked-fat-ladies-and-healthism/
ReplyDeleteAnother really good blog post: http://skepchick.org/2015/03/fatphobia-isnt-about-health/
ReplyDeleteShe's a bitch and hurt your feelings, there's nothing caring about that. If your doctor has health concerns, make some small changes to lessen those. Being a size two is ridiculous, it makes me hungry and cranky to starve myself to meet someone else's ideal of what I'm supposed to look like. That select group of stylists, designers, and fashionistas who have nothing better to do than tell the rest of what we should look like never got over high school, apparently. I've been out of high school for over forty years, I eat and dress for myself these days. You want more exercise, let's meet up after work and walk a couple of nights a week. I'll tell you how great you look and how glad I am that we're friends :-)
ReplyDeleteInfobab, you've got the solution! Get together and uplift each other! That's what friends are for.
ReplyDelete