No Wall No Ban

I know people are probably getting tired of me ranting on a daily basis about the unsuitableness of Donald John Trump.  He is a flim-flam con man and he is under the control or the Russians,  He must owe Putin "BIGLY."  I cannot believe there is not more movement to remove Steve Bannon.  We MUST RESIST.  Our lives, our children's loves and the future of our wold depend on us standing in the fire.

I spent Saturday with my grandson.  Bob is a sweet young man, full of hugs and kisses- well not kisses, he only receives not gives- but I look at him and KNOW that we must do what we can to protect their world.  I ache when I think about it.  I am physically ill when I see some of the things THAT man is doing, but watch him, please.  When he does something OUTRAGEOUS in the way of an Executive Order, it is because he is doing something ELSE he doesn't want in the light of day.  PAY ATTENTION.  RESIST.

How telling is it, that on National Holocaust Remembrance Day, he left out any mention of the Six Million Jews, saying "well other people were killed too."  That is true BUT you need to remember everyone.  His leaving them out just shows who he and his adviser, the neo-Nazi, are.  I don't think old Steve would be upset if you called him a Nazi.  It's a badge he seems to wear proudly in public.

I fear for my country, but I am trying to manifest hope.  Faith that good people will say NEVER AGAIN, or more accurately NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKER, which is more a rallying cry to be cherished.

Not. My President

A lot of people are taking exception to the Not. My. President movement.  They are saying if you live in America, THIS is your President.  Let me explain some basic facts:

While I agree that for whatever reason, although he did not win the popular vote and was installed as President by some arcane rules that were set forth by the Founding Fathers to create a balance of power between smaller and larger states to keep the States united, THIS man does not represent me.  In saying he is NOT My President, I am not denying the fact that he is President, just not mine, much in the way so many detractors spoke of Barrack Obama.  After eight years of deriding him, calling him names and questioning his right to be President, calling him a "secret Muslim" and slamming him every chance they got, SUDDENLY we are all supposed to "behave ourselves" join hands and sing Kumbaya behind this... this.. Person?  Not going to happen.

I've been sitting on this blog for several days now; each day brings a new horror as the Moy ( that's Man-boy) wrecks even more havoc on us all.  His slavering mindless zombie followers are drinking the Kool-aid by the gallon, not realizing what this means for THEM.  How DARE he commemorate Holocaust Memorial Day by signing that ABOMINATION of an Executive Order regarding non Christians.  I am distraught beyond telling at what he is doing to this country. it's as if he considers it one of the businesses that he took over in a hostile takeover move.  We are seemingly helpless and his rich greedy cohorts are warming their hands with glee over the burning of civil rights in this country.  "give me your tired, your poor?"  nope.  He and the rest of his ilk will ruin this country.

Ok.  Rant over.  Now we begin the real work.  We MUST stand in the fire.  My Revolutionary War ancestor did not freeze in a tent at Valley Forge to have a later-day King ruin what he believed in.  LIBERTY is for ALL of us, not just the chosen few.  Resistance is mandatory.

2,102,400 minutes

More or less until the Orange Menace is gone.   I woke up this morning thinking about the song from Rent , which asked how you measure a year.  If I break it down it days, we have to survive 1,460 days.  I think I may think in terms of minutes, because they pass faster.  I wonder how long he will truly be in the job.  My guess is within six months he will either violate the Constitution  and be removed, be arrested for treason, or quit in a huff.  I don't see, in my heart of hearts, a four year term for him.  Maybe it's just wishful thinking, and I know Mike Pence is not much better so we must loo to the Mid Term elections, to keep the 25 seats we currently hold and add the 8 that are also up for grabs.  We MUST not only hold the line but cross it and make our numbers swell.  THAT, my friends is the only real way to fight back.

I am unable to march this time with my sisters and brothers.I am certain there will be more marches as the 1,460 days progress. I see the surgeon on Monday.   Hopefully I will see him, he will give me the date and I will get this damn knee replaced.  There is never any time that there is not some kind of pain.  I think my knee will be a metaphor for the Trump regime ( not presidency, that man is NOT my President, I don't care what anyone says). Whatever goes on, there will always be some droning of pain and it needs to be replaced before the healing can begin.

Show me who you are

Recently I have been thinking about the old maxim "When you tell me who you are, I should believe you"

I fell asleep last night thinking about two people I THOUGHT were friends, or at least someone I knew and liked.  One did something so incredibly hurtful to another person I care very much about, and continues to do this thing.  The hurt person is MUCH more forgiving and understanding than I could ever have been in that situation.  The other was someone I tried to help, only to have her spread lies and gossip about me, all the while living in my home and enjoying my hospitality.  I shake my head.  I wonder what it says about me.  Am I such a poor judge of character that I didn't see who either of these people were?  Did they change so abruptly and I missed the shift?  or are they world class actors, worthy of some sort of Oscar?  I am afraid I try to see the best in people.   I cannot fathom why someone would go out of their way to injure, either physically or mentally, another person.   In the case of both of these former friends, if I never see either of them again it will be too soon.

This brings me, again, the the "President elect".  Time and time again, he has shown us what he is and his "Handlers" and "Explainers" have told us "oh no that's not what he meant"   I'm sorry, but yes he did and yes he is and I am truly sorry for those who cannot see who he is.  He has shown me who he is.  I have to believe him.

Not triskaidekaphobic or anything

I almost got run over crossing my street last night.  The car was ALL THE WAY AT THE CORNER, about 200 or more yards down when I started. He saw me, I am sure of it because his response was to SPEED UP and blare his horn.  My neighborhood is populated by thirty-something year old men in BMWs whose prevailing attitude seems  to be "This is MY road!  What are YOU doing on it???   GET OFF,  GET OUT OF MY WAY!!!!!"  Sigh.   The rules here are the pedestrian has the right of way.  Maybe they need to learn that.

AM I the only one who thinks that last nights hack into C-Span is just the beginning of Russia taking over here.  Are we ready for that?  I am trying to remain hopeful that SOMETHING,ANYTHING will happen to prevent the Orange Puppet from taking office.  The Republican party is gleefully trying to get richer, while dismantling the Middle Class.    Looks like I am going to be working a LONG time, if the health care destruction continues.  I know I don't have enough discretionary funds to set up an independent account to cover me.  One illness and I am in a cardboard box under the freeway.   I hope all those people who voted "Trump all the way, baby" and are now facing NO medical coverage for the adult children who are living with them are happy that they  replaced the black guy.  I think they will find some way to BLAME him for the midnight raid by the Republican Party.  They are literally throwing out the baby with the bathwater, with NO real plan to replace anything.  Good luck to all of us, I say.  I know that living in California, I am probably better off and I have a good job, so I KNOW I am blessed.   I was looking forward to retirement, but now it does not seem possible.  If they gut the medicare system, I am pretty sure I will need to work until at LEAST we can get a Democrat back in office to fix the mess.  That seems to be they cycle.  A Republican gets us into debt, a Democrat fixes it.

Can I say how much I loved Joe Biden yesterday.  What a nice surprise and a well deserved honor for that man.  I had tears in my eyes, as the look of "oh !" came over his face when he realized what was happening.  I loved how he turned and fumbled for his handkerchief.  Who CARRIES handkerchiefs these days?  Sweet.  I wish in some ways that Joe had run.  As much as I fought for Hilary, I think Joe would have crushed the competition.

We are seeing what I hope is the last of the rain for a few days.  Chris and I are taking a much needed little trip.  I am anxious to try out my new camera.  Chris bought me my very own camera for our anniversary.  I have never had one like this.  I had small "snap shot" cameras but this is something I have always wanted.  When I was married the first time I wan't allowed to use "His" camera, except when he needed a photo of him doing something.  Having my own camera allows me to explore that side of me that shows how I view the world.  Years ago, I took my daughter to a parade and she begged to use my camera. I let her and when my photos came back, i had a whole bunch or tank tires ( Military parade) and feet....  I realized it was how Kate saw the world.   Hopefully, I will get some wonderful pictures I can use in a project I am hoping to start soon.

Happy Friday the 13th.  I always think that the whole Unlucky thing has it's roots in Christianity. Judas being the 13th person and Christ being crucified on a Friday.  Well I'm not buying into it.

Have a great day!

When Ivan comes.

I have been thinking of a song, written in the 80's by an old friend, Bob Walker, that the band I used to "work" for Manakin, used to perform.  I say "work" in quotes because it was a lot of fun and there was no pay, except a few bucks for gas here and there and a post-show drink.  It was the late 70's, early 80's and I learned a lot, doing that sort of "roadie" work.  I used it when I was the " Move Coordinator" for the Library.  In any case, the song, written in the early days of the Reagan Administration, spoke of our fears of a Russian invasion   If I am remembering the lyrics right, it began:

When Ivan comes
with his megabombs
roll out the Red carpet
and you and I will scurry to the bunkers

The crescendo, if you will ,was the chorus, with the entire band singing "Who will be the loser?  When Ivan comes When Ivan comes"

I keep hearing that in my head, every time I read some I-can't-believe-this-guy-is-going-to-be-president quote from the Orange Menace.   I am both saddened and angry, incredulous that THIS person is allowed to be in charge of anything.  The thing that makes me physically ILL is the arrogant morons like McTurtle, lining up behind him.  To quote from "Wicked"  "I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission to feed your own ambition"  The Republicans who said Trump was not fit during his candidacy who now are slobbering all over themselves so their wives can get cabinet posts.  These "leaders" are an insult to democracy.  Greed and avarice.  The ultimate corruption.  

I am afraid that in their quest to make themselves richer and more powerful they will destroy this country.  Certainly a person as thin-skinned as Donald J. Trump has NO business being in control of launch codes.  He does not understand that there IS no such thing as limited nuclear war and that ( to quote an old anti nuke song) "plutonium is forever."

Maybe I should send him a copy of Nevil Shute's classic "On the Beach"  Naw.  Rumor has it , the Orange One is illiterate.  In the coming months, WE must prepare to fight back for the things we hold dear.  We need to protect Social Security and Medicare.  We need to protect Planned Parenthood and LGBT rights.   There are so many battlefronts, it's going to be hard to choose what to do and we are going to be exhausted at the end of it all, but fight back we must.  I am seeing cracks in the party unity and that consoles me.  Reasonable people without a ME ! ME! ME! agenda will rise to protect us from this disaster and we MUST support them in every way we can.

Rain

It's raining and that's both a blessing and a curse.  We need the rain.  Despite what the Orange Menace has to say about it, California has been in the throes of a HUGE drought for the last several years.  I know it will take several years of this type of weather to make things right again, but we need the rain.  When I wake up and hear rain on the roof, I think "ah, it's raining, then IMMEDIATELY default to "aw shit!  it's RAINING!"  Rain for me changes my day, especially a hard or prolonged rain.  I am in charge of the maintenance or seventy-two ( yeas all of them are mine) branch libraries.  My only comfort is I currently have NO responsibility for the Central Library.  Whew!

When it rains, I think about people who live out in the elements and hope they find a place that is safe and dry.   There are so many homeless people out here in Los Angeles and my neighborhood had become overrun with encampments.  It's both sad and scary.  Some people are on the streets by choice- there was a guy who used to panhandle in front of my building when I worked on Spring St.  The local restaurant offered him a job and he turned them down, said he could make better "wages" panhandling.  The owner was shocked and saddened.  It happens.   My Union does a meal service at one of the shelters in downtown every month and quarterly here in the Valley.  Both have programs to help people get back on their feet.  It's sad when you see the same residents, but Some of them look much stronger than when we first encountered them, so there is progress there.  With the new administration, I fear the economy for the 99% is just going to get worse.  I have to hold onto hope for all of us.

I'd better get moving. Rain and construction on the 210 promises a hellish commute, although I don't think they work in the rain.  Still the lanes end abruptly and people don't take any extra care when the wet stuff falls from the sky.

It's cold up here in the foothills.  I hope it doesn't snow!

Morning in my house

I am thinking of the Warren Zevon song that begins"  I was sitting in the Hollywood Hawaiian Hotel, I was staring in my empty coffee cup"  Yeah that pretty much sums it up.  I need new knees or specifically a new LEFT knee.  The trip down five flights of stairs in an emergency evacuation- the second one in a week- really did some damage.  I was in agony last night and had to take extra meds to sleep.  There was NO position that didn't send messages of howling pain to my brain.  I don't WANT to take that much medication, but I was unable to sleep, so I gave in.  I had weird dreams as a result- trying to get to the wedding of a friend and I kept missing it.  I kept trying to get everyone dressed and out the door.  She was getting married at four and it was like "Groundhog day" with the clock resetting in my dream as I tried to get everyone in my family, including people I do not know but in my dream they were part of the family, out the door.  The second time we almost made it.  I kept seeing Facebook posts from friends who were already AT the wedding.  It was just.. unnerving.  I don't think my friend Sandy is getting married anytime soon, and as we are Facebook friends ( we had been good friends at some point in our teen years but drifted in different directions, I am still quite fond of her) I don't think if she were getting married that I would be on the guest list ( no problem there, you can't invite EVERYONE to your wedding unless you are a Kardashian and can televise the freaking event).

I have an appointment with the surgeon at the end of the month.  Am I scared?  you bet.  But remember my new credo is that FEAR means, Face Everything and Rise.  It's ok to be afraid.  My sister thinks I am a big ol' chicken and says so.  A lot.  Ok for her.  SHE'S not afraid of anything.  Me?  I'm... cautious.  Yeah. Careful.  That's it!  I look at everything then decide.  But I DO decide.  I need the new knee, sooner than later.  It's gonna be ok.  Everyone who has had it done says they are glad when it is over.  I have had a lot of surgical procedures.  I know what to expect.  It's gonna hurt, but I am strong and will have good meds and loving support.

It's gonna be ok.

Writing

hmm, only three days into the New Year and I have kind of broken my promise to myself.  I said I would try to write something every day.  As Yoda says, "There is no 'try' only DO"  On a side note, I believe that was one of the tenets of EST, but as usual I digress.

We had breakfast with a friend I have not seen in a while and it was nice catching up.  I will be writing a review of the little coffee shop we went to.  It wasn't the first time I had been there, but I think I just got coffee and a muffin last time.  I watched the Rose Parade and really missed the former hosts.  One guy really needed a history lesson.  The artist who built the Watts Towers was Simon Rodia, NOT Sam Rodeo.    Sheesh.  The floats are displayed in the park at the end of the parade. Maybe next year, if I am feeling stronger, I want to go and look at them.  Apparently it is a real zoo.  We went once, years ago, but got there so late we saw about four floats before the park closed.  I would like to go to the parade, but with seats.  I am too darned old to be dragging chairs onto Colorado Blvd and fighting for space among people who think they can show up late and stand in front of you- this happens to me at every parade I go to.

Last night at dinner, Chris said we should not talk politics for the evening.  It's hard to do.  There is so much to fear with the new Regime.  It's going to be a hard four years if the Orange Menace is left unchecked.   I was thinking about fear and wondering if you manifest it by being afraid, as if that somehow draws the very thing you are afraid of to you.   Probably.  So I am going to think about fear as the  abbreviation of "Face  Everything And Rise"  Rise is a great word, isn't it?  It carries with t a hope and a longing.  I like that word as a command.  We wait for the sun to rise.  We rise from sleep.  We rise up against injustice.  That's going to be the word I try to remember.,   I read quote from T. S. Eliot- a poet whose work I love.

“For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.”

Interesting concept, that we have a whole new language for the new year,   Maybe it means that new voices must come forward to create new ideas for the new year.  I have to re-read "Four Quarters"  I will try to get A book of Eliot's poetry today, although he can be a bit long winded, if I break him down in cantos, I should be able to get through him with a better understanding.

I really have to take a poetry class or something.   I miss talking about poetry and books.  I know there is a Poets Society here, but I don't think that group is for me.  I need to look for something that will stimulate my reading and by extension, my writing.  I COULD take online classes.   Chris says I should be writing short stories and frankly I have been reading them to see if I can get a sense of structure.  Some of the ones I have read recently, by well known authors, are gawd-awful.   I think most short stores are a snapshot of a moment, not something with a beginning , middle and end, sometimes the story just leaves you with a "what was that about?" feeling, like eavesdropping on a conversation on the subway and having to get off before the teller finishes the tale.  I think an online refresher might help.   I took a class in college but that was about 37 years ago so I am a wee bit, shall we say, rusty?

In the meantime, I will continue trying to write here everyday as I collect my morning thoughts over coffee before heading out for work.   I will do my best not to complain without thinking about what can be done and I will offer a peek into what's going on in my head; as mixed up and confusing as some of my thoughts may be.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year.  We put a lot of faith in those three words, don't we?  What is is about the turning of the calendar to a new year that fills us with hope.  I am getting cynical in my old age, but New Year's Day is just another day.  If you really want to hope, try doing it every day instead of waiting for some mythical dragon to appear and take all the trouble away in a fire-breathing rush on New Year's Eve.   Baby steps.  Every. single. Day.

I got up and got ready to watch the parade,only to remember this is Sunday and they don't run the parade if New Year's Day is Sunday.  Hmmm   Now what to do?  I have been wasting a lot of time with online games and things that don't matter.  I need to write.   I try not to do New Year's Resolutions that are either impractical or impossible.  Sure, EVERYONE resolves to spend less, save more, eat better, lose weight... blah blah blah.   I remember a book I read in my teen years, where the family was writing down resolutions.  One child was developmentally disabled.  For him, they resolved he should be happy.  So there.  I resolve to be happy- or try my best to be.   I resolve to accept things I cannot change, but more importantly to change things I cannot accept.   The political news is terrifying to me in the "plans" to eliminate Social Security and Medicare; to restrict reproductive rights and the rights of the LGBT community.  This year, I will choose the thing I feel strongest about and join together with like minded citizens to protect OUR rights against the growing tide of hate and bigotry. I am one person.  But together we CAN make a difference.  My father used to say "your rights end at my nose"  How dare anyone decree what I am to believe.  This is NOT, despite what some people think, A "christian" nation.   We have the freedom OF and the freedom FROM religion.  I am afraid that the incoming administration will chose one form of Christianity that we must all follow.  Not going to happen.  They WILL try.

So, Happy New Year.  I wish us all peace and prosperity in the coming year and may your dreams become a reality.