Thinking about surgery

Today I am going to see the surgeon.  I am ready, well sort of, to get my knees replaced. Both of them need to be done and I am looking at doing it in one fell swoop.

Here's what's going on in my head:

I am SICK SICK SICK of people who haven't HAD the surgery telling me how much this is going to hurt. It's  SURGERY.  they CUT into you   THAT EQUALS PAIN.  I get it.  What galls me is that people want to tell me something they haven't experienced and put the thought to the forefront.

I know it will hurt, but frankly it's probably not as bad as people say.

I had my gallbladder taken out about 20 years ago.  Sure that hurt but it was manageable after a day or two.  They gave me pain pills and I followed instructions and within a week was up and cooking meals.

Am I afraid of this?

Yes.

Am I doing this anyway?

Yes.

I want to be able to walk unassisted.

I want to dance at Bob's wedding- admittedly Bob is not quite four and I'll probably be in my 80's when he DOES get married but a goal is a goal.

I want this constant pain GONE.

I need to remind myself of two things; a line from a James Taylor song "It's ok to feel afraid, but don't let that stand in your way" and "FEAR means Face Everything and Rise"

I will have loving support as I face this journey.  I need to keep my eye on the result, not the process. I'm going to get through this just fine.