Letters

I realized the other day how much I miss getting actual mail, not bills or ads or mail from contests I did NOT enter, but a real honest-to-goodness  letter.  Remember waiting for the mail to see if someone had written to you?  I had a pen-pal for years.  Our friendship changed when she came to California but her snobby relations would not let us meet, because they lived in Beverly Hills and I was from Pacoima.  It's a shame, really but I lost interest in communicating with her after that.  I was about thirteen at the time.  My mom was ready to take me to meet her, but she said "no" in this funny way that made me realize that she was probably told that meeting a girl from "the wrong side of the tracks" would not be suitable.  The strange things is, we became pen- pals via a church newsletter.  It was sort of the beginning of the end of my church-going days, as I began to see that going to church was not for me.  I am not saying that it's a bad thing, if you get something out of it.  It just stopped for me.  Maybe it was where I was going to church and maybe it was just me.  I don't know.  I just remember after that I looked at Sue's letters with a more jaded eye, and although we continued to write for a few years after that, I think, I had no real interest in being her friend anymore.  I was thinking of writing a letter to my dad's cousin, probably the only person I know who does not use email, but I wonder about that.  My penmanship is terrible.  I print instead of using cursive ( do they even CALL it that anymore?)  I read a meme that made me laugh  "I don't have bad handwriting, I have my own font".  It made me think of my mom whose handwriting was SO bad she typed her letters.  I remember my then-mother-in-law asking me why my mother typed the letters to her.  I went in the house and got a letter my mom had written to me ( after all I had 'cracked the code" years ago) when I showed it to her, she understood.  I remember coming home from school one day to a note from my mom on the back door.  I sat down and cried, because I couldn't read it.  Mind you I COULD read, just not the note.  It was telling me that she was next door and I should go there when I got home.  She heard me crying and came home.  Still I miss actual  newsie letters from friends.  Nothing compares to the anticipation of slitting open an envelope and sliding out an actual piece of paper and reading it.  I am not complaining about the email letters I get from far away friends, those are great.  I am just waxing nostalgic.

Wednesday morning

I had something that was running through my head this morning, but when I actually got the coffee in the cup and sat down, it was gone.  Life is like that sometimes.  I worry about my memory, I am getting older and sometimes things don't stay put.  My mom had Alzheimer's.  I look for signs and wonder how I would handle that.  I think I'm just tired and overloaded, that my brain is TOO full and I can't sort things out all the time.  They say coffee helps, I hope so.  I certainly drink enough of it.  I used to drink more of it, but now limit myself to two cups per day.  It kept me too awake in the evening.   I work at a pretty fast paced job, where I am often juggling multiple emergencies, while trying to get the more mundane tasks completed as well.  Some days I come home wiped out.  Don't get me wrong, for the most part I like what I do, but some days I just shake my head in wonderment  about some of the crazy things that go on out there.  I should write a book.  People would think I was making it up. 

On a different tangent, it took me TWO HOURS to get home last night.  WHY?  Someone had a FLAT TIRE on the side of the road and EVERYONE needed to slow down to see it.  It reminds me of the time it took me an HOUR to go five miles.  WHY   Roll of carpet on the side of the road, not even in the drive lane, just a roll of carpet.  Not even a NICE roll of carpet either.  Sheesh.

I am getting ready to go to the subway.  I really am thinking of calling them and asking what rocket scientist is doing the train scheduling in the evening rush hour.  Why would you send a short train to service the longest run?  You really need all the available cars to go all the way out to NoHo.  There are only what five stops on the Wilshire/Western line.  THAT should be the short car run.  I refuse to race over to the last car and squeeze in like some human equivalent of a sardine, packed into the metal can of the subway car.  Nope.  I will wait for the next train, or the NEXT one after that, if need be.  It's frustrating and stupid. I wonder if the people running the MTA give a rat's pa-toot about this.

Remember to watch NOVA tonight on PBS.  My cousin Robert Zorn has written a fascinating book on the Lindbergh kidnapping and his conclusions will be discussed as part of the program this evening.   I keep hoping to get him out to LA for a book tour.  Maybe this will jump start that!

Movie Philosophy

Are screenwriters our modern-day philosophers?  It seems that we can quote bits of movies that resonate with us, far better than we quote Voltaire or Thoreau. (We may quote them but we don't always KNOW we are quoting them)   Last night I watched the film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  One if the things that the manager of the hotel is always saying is "Everything will be alright in the end.  If it's not alright, then it's not the end."  Sweet, but is it really true?  Maybe.  I usually quote something from another movie, a terrible movie with horrible acting- "Roadie", with Meatloaf.  Yes.  MEATLOAF.  The thing I took away from that movie, in addition to the thought that I had just given away 90 or so minutes of my life, was the repeated philosophy that "Everything will work out if you let it."  It's an interesting concept, isn't it?  That you trust the Universe, or God or whatever you believe in enough to let go of control and let something else guide you.  When you are going through some terrible times, you think  "wow this is the worst thing that could happen"  but eventually, you do get to the end of it.  I think of it as crossing a suspension bridge across a large ravine.  The bridge is missing a lot of planks and you have to jump and hang on to the rope in order to get across it, but when you do; and when you are on the other side, the relief just fills you up.  The trick is to keep going.

I enjoy movie philosophy.  It's sneaky sometimes.  You don't realize you are getting a dose of it until later.  Unlike trying to wade through some of the complicated language of long dead writers; who use words that have fallen out of use and whose themes may be a bit complex for "light" reading, movie philosophy washes over you and can open up dialogs with others who have seen the same film.  I enjoyed "the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel".  Any movie that has Maggie Smith and  Judi Dench is well worth the time.  Sweet, yet satisfying; it could have become mawkish in the hands of less skilled actors. 

Like.. the weather

My dad used to say "Everyone complains about the weather but no one does anything about it"  I think he was quoting Mark Twain, but it's funny nonetheless.  We complain about a lot of things that we CAN change, but we don't seem to do anything about it.

Lately, I have noticed that I am complaining about things but not doing anything to change the situation.  My Union held an election and almost NO ONE voted.  I am trying to get a movement going within the organization to get out the vote, which will become crucial in the coming months when we vote on our contract.  That should be interesting and HOPEFULLY people will respond to the MOU votes better than they have for the last few elections.  Apathy reigns supreme here.  I wonder if it is the same in other Unions.  The City is getting ready for a Mayoral election.  I hope people will come out for that one.  I am going to be working the polls.  It is a long day, but it is worth the effort.

If I am unhappy with something, I think it is up to ME to change it for myself.  The culture seems to have changed.  I wonder if we raised a generation of spoon-fed children who believe they are entitled and someone else should be doing the work.  It DOES hearten me when I see flurries of activism in High School and College kids.  Mostly it is the LGBT community that is becoming visible. I beleive in equal rights for ALL, including the right of Gays to marry the person of their choice.  Someone I know says "They have the right to marry a person of the opposite  sex, just like I do.  If we let them marry a person of the same sex, they are getting MORE rights than I am"  ( Ok I will stop screaming in my head long enough to respond)  Not being able to marry the person you LOVE is so Draconian.  I wonder how my friend would feel if the opposite were true, if homosexuality were considered the norm and heterosexuals were condemned and forced to hide their true selves?  It's interesting, when you bring up this argument, many will brush it aside instead of really thinking about it.  Putting yourself in another's world is a way to develop compassion.

I think I am overstating the obvious when I say that to affect change takes courage.  It is easy to sit and complain, it takes heart to get up and do.

"let it be"

I woke up this morning with the opening lines of this song in my head.  As a kid, it wasn't one of my favorite Beatle tunes, but as an adult I find myself returning to the comfort this simple song seems to give me.

I am struck by the many levels on which this song can be taken.  When I first heard it, I thought he was talking about the Virgin Mary.  I assumed that Paul was an Irish Catholic and she plays a large part in the collective consciousness of those who are raised in that faith.  It was natural to me to think that he was "talking" to Mary, as some do.  It was years later that I learned he was really talking about his own mother, Mary McCartney and how he dreamed of her and heard her saying something she always said to him "let it be"

Now, that's an interesting phrase and I ponder it sometimes.  Does it mean "leave it alone" ?  Does it mean "let it happen"?  or are those really the same thing?  Is the advice to " go with the flow" and see what happens, in essence to "let go and let God" or whatever natural force makes the Universe tick and find balance?  The beauty is, it is all of these things.  I hear it differently, depending on where I am in my "times of trouble".  One day, the song just made me think of my own mother and what she might have said to me as I faced the problem I was having.  I sobbed.  Sometimes I feel a strange peace settle over me when I hear it, a contentment that goes deep, relaxing some tight knot I did not know I had.

So as I head out for my job this morning, I will try to "let it be" and see which meaning resonates today.

First Ladies

This week has got me thinking about the role of the First Lady and the women who have made it what it is.  Except for Martin Van Buren, every president was married. I think his niece was took over that  role for his administration  I think Andrew Jackson's wife was too ill to have any official hostess role, I need to look it up at some point.  I am thinking about the recent past, where the role of First Lady went from hostess to a woman with a cause.  I suppose Eleanor Roosevelt was the first real go-getter; she had to be.  FDR was in a wheelchair and most of the country did not know that.  Can you imagine that scenario in today's media?  He probably would never have been elected, never mind that his brain was sound.  Much would have been made of his physical condition. He sent Eleanor as his ambassador.  She rose to the occasion.  I love the quote attributed to her "A woman is like a teabag.  You never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water"  well, something like that.   She set the bar, as far as I am concerned.  I was thinking about the causes that modern day First Ladies take on as part of their role.  Lady Bird with the environment, Jackie with restoring the White House, Betty Ford who made her struggles with substance abuse and breast cancer public; bringing what had been closed-door topics out into the light of day.  I love Michelle Obama.  She is a smart, strong woman.  She seems to have a good sense of humor.  I love the way her children look at her.  She is a wonderful role model for them and for other girls. I don't get why people don't like her and say horrid things about her.  People who don't like her husband are commenting, I suppose. Still I admire her.  It can't be an easy job, First Lady. 

Inauguration thoughts

I did not watch the Inauguration this time. I don't know why.  I think I just got busy doing other things and I knew that I could get the best parts on line later.  I was able to watch Beyonce sing the National Anthem and James Taylor sing America the Beautiful.  I enjoyed the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir and their rendition of  "the Battle Hymn of the Republic"  I wager that the soloist will be all over the news shows in the morning.  Stunning voice.  I think Beyonce did a fine job on the anthem, not to flashy but enough to make it her version.  People will complain no matter what she did.  I am already hearing detractors talk about how it wasn't traditional enough.  Perhaps she should have dragged out a tankard of ale if they wanted "traditional'  The tune IS based on a British drinking song after all.   I love James Taylor so just about anything he does any way he does it is just fine with me.  He still has a wonderful voice.

Much has been made and will continue in the weeks to come to be made of the fact that this inauguration coincided with the nation celebrating the life and work of Martin Luther King.  Dr King's bible was one of two used in the ceremony.  I listened to the President's speech, a call to action and a statement of his philosophy.  I won't say I was jumping up and down cheering  ( except for the part about equal rights for all.  I thought "whooboy, we are in for a tough fight on this, but I'm with ya Barrack!")  I just looked at a post on ABC news, the picture of Michelle in her ballgown.  The RACISTS comments are HORRID.  In this day and age, it shocks me to hear people use those terms.  So disrespectful.  It shows the lack of character on the part of the person making the remark.  Honestly.  I guess I should not be shocked.  I just don't think in terms of race, more in terms of behavior.  Idiots come in all shapes ,sizes and varieties.  No race has a lock on smart and no race has a lock on stupid, either.  I don't know why anyone would want to go into politics and subject themselves to this kind of attacks.  Anything you do, about half the people are going to be pissed off about anyway.

People need to stop complaining that Barrack Obama was elected.  He was.  Deal with it.  We need to stop fighting each other and work together to make this country work. Stop being a whiner about what happened and see what you can do to make things better.

Apathy- or why don't you vote?

 I posted this blog on my union's website, but I think it applies to everyone who chooses not to decide and to let other people do it for them.  I think of it like buying a really great car and not driving it, instead, letting your friends all drive it for you.  I vote in every election I am able to vote in.  I think it's vital to the stability of any organization ( or COUNTRY for that matter) to have those who are empowered to participate in the process to do so. 


Our Union recently had an election, asking members to ratify an affiliation with a stronger Local.  Among other things, it will increase dues and require us to become more involved and politically aware.  Only about 28 % of the eligible members bothered to cast a vote.  The measure passed.    I am not complaining about the changes, what I AM concerned with is the apathy on the part of our membership to participate in the election.  It’s not as if it all that difficult to vote.  The package is mailed to your home with a self addressed stamped return envelope.  All that is required is to fill out the form and stick in it the mailbox.  How hard is that, anyway?  There is a line from a Rush song “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”  By NOT voting you are doing two things.  You are letting other people decide for you AND you are not letting your opinion be known.    I know there are a lot of people who say “what does it matter if I vote?” Well, it DOES matter.  The results give an indication of the general feeling of the membership.  If only people who are for the measure vote, then the assumption is that MOST members are for it.   EAA is a MEMBER DRIVEN organization.  The Board of Governors and the Executive Director are YOUR employees, not the other way around.    I am asking each of you to take a look at your involvement in EAA and consider becoming more active, even if it is only to vote when the time comes to do so.  We can be a stronger force, if we choose.  Apathy will cause more harm than action.

The Book You Are Reading is One Man's Opinion of Moonlight

I read a lot, but rarely comment at much length about the books I have finished so here goes:

I read two or three books at a time; a "hangover" if you will from the days when I was an English major and had to read at least one book for each of the three or four lit classes I was taking concurrently.  Now I panic if I am not reading at least two and have one in the "on deck circle" near the bed.

I just finished listening to the new Sara Paretsky  "Breakdown"  .  It may not be her newest, but it is recent.  The story is  typical V.I, she gets into a scrape, someone tries to kill her,  blah blah blah...   The problem with this one is that the solution has a plot hole big enough to drive a Mac truck through.  Paretsky lamely tries to explain it away at the end, but it didn't wash for me.  did I enjoy the book?  Yes.  I always like her adventures and having it "read" to me by a decent reader is soothing and takes my mind off of some of the daily stressors, but  the end was less than satisfactory.

I also picked up Alexander McCall Smith's "The Dog who came in from the Cold"  one of his Corduroy Mansion series.  Couldn't get past the first page. The character goes on and on in Latin and bemoans the fact that his son doesn't understand Latin.  Neither do I.   I LIKE his 1st Women's Detective Agency Series, but his other two leave me flat.  I listened to a book from his 44 Scotland Avenue series.  Some of the characters annoyed me so much I kept thinking "yeah, someone's going to off  him or her"  I found myself vaguely disappointed at the end of that book when all the characters were still annoyingly alive.

I am reading "The Chaperone" by Laura Moriarty.  It's a fictionalized account of an incident in the life of Louise Brooks, who at this point is more a plot device than a character.  It's got a nice voice and good pacing, and I am not far enough in to say if the story line continues, but I am reading it on the subway and it is fine for that.

I realized that I had only read ONE Arthur Conan Doyle book and decided to revisit the series.  I picked up an annotated copy ,which has FAR too much information.  I gave up reading all the footnotes; some of them take up entire pages and I lose the thread of the story.  Maybe I will read the STORY first then go back and revisit the footnotes.  Most of the ones I did read talk about the theories of other authors about what Conan Doyle meant in this particular passage.   I am not that interested in others opinions.  The only reason I picked up THIS copy is that it had the story I wanted to read with a type setting I didn't need a page magnifier to read.   It's also to heavy to cart on the subway.  Darn

I am trying to read "The Death of a President" the definitive work on the Kennedy assassination.  It's a hard go as they get into the minutiae of everyone's day, as if it all needed to be recorded for history.  I suppose it did, but I don't think I am in a place where I can take it all in.

The 'Net or "a lttle knowledge is a dangerous thing"

I love the Internet.  Who doesn't?  All the information in the world , right at your fingertips.  Want to plan a trip?  All there?  Look up information on an obscure author or see who played a bit part in a movie you saw when you were a teen?  Done.  Social networking is great too.  Want to reconnect with old loves, lost friends and in some cases  lost family? yup.  But there is a disturbing trend these days.  Anyone can post anything they want and they do.  The problem with that is the number of people who believe the stuff as truth without bothering to look it up.  Am I the only one TOTALLY SICKENED by the conspiracy theorists latest bit about how the Sandy Hook killings were FAKED in order to push through tougher gun laws?  What basement dwelling troll came up with that little chestnut?  Yeah, Obama ( and it 's always him isn't it) persuaded an entire town to FAKE the deaths of their children  to help him with gun control laws.  Outrageous.

I did love the kids whose dad joked that if they got a million likes on Facebook, they could have a puppy.  Some people thought that was faked, but turns out it wasn't .  Those girls were just too cute.  I hope they get a nice puppy and post photos of it so everyone can see.  Want to bet that dad never dares his kids again?

I try my very best to check things out before I post them, but sometimes my heartstrings get the better of me and I post stuff that is simply not true.  Sorry about that.  I usually say something later or delete the post if I can.   I hate getting into political arguments with my FB friends.  Sometimes the arguments get so heated I just ask to agree to disagree for sake of peace.  We are all entitled to a difference of opinion.  My father used to say that being American meant "I  may not agree with what you say, but I defend to the death your right to say it"  Many people believe that you are not a "patriot' or "true American" if you don't believe a certain way.  I think being a patriot means that I keep informed, that I vote, that I pay my taxes without trying to cheat the system, that I keep an open mind.   I just wish people would look up some of the things they post before they go off on a rant about how "our freedoms are being taken away", which is a hot button issue wherever you turn.  If you oppose a law, talk to your representatives about it,let your voice be heard, but for GOODNESS SAKE,  CHECK before you go off half -cocked about something.  Make sure it isn't some faux news story, intended only to rile things up and liven up Facebook.  Make sure THEN let your voice be heard.

I have ranted enough.  Tomorrow I promise to talk about what I am reading- some GOOD stuff out there!

Manners

Whatever happened to common courtesy?  Good manners seem to be a thing of the past.  People no longer say "Please" or "thank you" or God forbid "excuse me"     I ride the subway every day and you would think this was a race or the roller derby where bumping people out of the way to get in and get a seat is the only goal.  I have seen able bodied young people brush past elderly people to get to a seat.  Offer to give UP your precious seat?  Almost never!  Yesterday some guy with a bike threw himself into the handicapped seat next to me and fell asleep across the bike which he had blocking most of the aisle.  I said a loud "excuse me" to wake him up so we could get by him to get off at our stop.  He glared at me and edged the bike a fraction of an inch out of the way so we had to squeeze by the dirty bike.  YUCK.  I glared back, but he was already asleep again.

I was in my favorite burrito shop last week and another customers bumped me going AND coming.  Did she say "excuse me" or "pardon me" or ANYTHING?  Nope.  She had to know she had made contact and the polite thing to do it to murmur an apology.  People don't seem to do that anymore.   Is it too old fashioned?  In this ME ME ME world, have we forgotten that there are other people around us?  I recently had someone tell me that my saying "thank you" irritated him.  HUH?  My mother raised me to be polite, and even when I don't want to be, I still am.  I can hear her in the back of my head saying "Manners the butler"  I have NO idea what she meant, but when she said it I knew I was out of line.  I looked up Manners the Butler.  He was apparently spokes-character for paper napkins.  He was a tiny man ( about 5 inches tall) who  "helped " the lady of the house get ready for whatever event by reminding her that the new paper napkins would save her time.  That's what I found anyway.  I guess my mom thought he was also a model for propriety.

So, May I say "Thank you" for reading this and "please" comment if you care to! 

Reading the news ( and it sure looks bad)

Why is it so hard to find news about good things happening in the world?  Is it because tragedy and pathos play better than something that might be viewed as fluff?  The Sandy Hook story continues to dominate the airwaves.  I wonder how long it will be a lead story.  It's not as if there is a trial or any real justice to be handed down.  The person responsible is dead.  Trying to find someone else to "pay" for the crime is pointless.  I am sure the slimy bottom-feeders in the legal profession will try to convince those suffering in the aftermath that there is money to be gained.  Will money change anything?  No, sadly it will not and the only lives that will be improved at all will probably be the lawyers who will collect a fat fee on the misery. 

I have been thinking lately about the cult of personality that seems to pervade the media these days.  We know far too much about the love lives of certain people.  I for one am sick of seeing Taylor Swift's face trying to be sad as she dumps yet another piece of arm candy so she can write that "tragic breakup song" that is sure to propel her to the top of the charts.  I wonder if she chooses boyfriends based on their dump-ability.  She is fast becoming not the sweet innocent that her media machine would have us believe.  One or two dinners or media events does not a relationship make,but the media and possibly her handlers has her walking down the aisle with anyone she even says hello to.  That's got to be a real drag.  What kind of life it that, always in the fishbowl?  I know far more about her and Kim Kardashian than I care to.  What is it about the K sisters anyway?  They are the modern day equivalent of the Gabor sisters.  No discernible talent, just famous for being arm candy.  What kind of life must you have when you are the most famous for  whom you have as your sex partners?  The Gabor sisters married often enough and Eva did have that stint, woefully stunt-cast as Lisa in "Green Acres"  I feel sorry for the younger crop of K sisters who are not even Kardashians but get lumped and marketed along with them.  Not much of a life, I think.

The whole gun control debate is getting a little crazy.  The arguments on both sides are coming from passionate reactions to the shootings of children and how to prevent such tragedies.  I personally don't believe gun control to be the answer.  Timothy McVey blew up that building in Oklahoma City using fertilizer.  Do we outlaw fertilizer? ( I could make a joke about what the outcome of outlawing Bull crap would have on Congress, insert your own joke here)

I used to read the comics every day for a laugh, but I stopped subscribing to the local paper when I was hit with a ten percent pay cut in the guise of a furlough and the Editor of Said Paper CROWED about it and talked about all the things that we could do with that time off.  Many of her suggestions involved spending more money- which we no longer had.  I took a look at my budget and decided to make ten-percent worth of cuts to it STARTING with my subscription to the Daily News.  I had been a subscriber since it was a throw-away called the Valley News and Green Sheet, but I could no longer afford the luxury of a newspaper.  They are scrambling for subscribers, I hear and they often contact me but I am not going back.  They have bought into the age-old idea that City Employees are lazy at best and corrupt at worst.  I don't need to pay good money to be insulted.  Now I get my news and my comics online.  There is a whole subculture of people who "Meet" and complain about what the writer/artist is doing with the strip.  Most are grousing about the character development or plot line.  Seldom do you see someone say something constructive.  I often wonder why people continue to read them if it bothers them so much?  Like my parting of the ways with the Daily News, it was a hard habit to break but I have done it.

Long overdue cd review Winter People "A Year at Sea

Several months ago, I got an email from a friend in Australia telling me about this band and suggesting I check them out, as she thought I might enjoy them.  As usual, my friend was right.   I was delighted in October to not only get a copy of the CD, but to see the band on their very small US Tour.  I have been listening to the CD a lot, but as of yet have not had a spare moment to write down my thoughts.  Here goes!

This is an amazing band.  It is hard to pinpoint an actual style here.  I suppose the best would be folk classic rock.  OK forgive me but here is what I am hearing in the CD

The lead singer has a gritty voice but pleasant and interesting. The band has had some favorable comparisons to Dylan, but unlike Bob, this guy can actually sing.  He doesn't have a great range, but that is made up by the two women in the band who play violins.   It adds an extra component. They also have wonderful , sometimes  ethereal voices which add a sweetness to the mix.   I love how the rock portions suddenly become symphonic in songs like "Gallons" which has a HUGE drum sound that is terrific.  It is becoming my current favorite.  Had I written this last week, it would have been "Top of the World" which has quite a nice hook to it and it completely stuck in my head..The song also reminds me of Cagney in White Heat where he's at the top of the water tower yelling "Top of the World, Ma" before they shoot him.  I think it's White Heat.  Better look it up.  

 The variety in the music shows quite a range of talent here.  There are some VERY folk-y songs and there are some real rockers with that stirring symphonic sound that I mentioned.  Intense.  Some of the lyrical content gives me mental pictures of the US, but I wonder when they talk about Dust Bowl cities, if they aren't talking about places in Australia.  No matter, the beauty in art is that it makes you see what YOU see, not always what the artist meant, exactly, especially when someone is painting you a word picture.  Check them out.  I am hoping they come back to visit the US soon.  I think they would gather a pretty good following.

Riverside National Cemetery

Monday  would have been my Mom's 87th birthday.  It got me to thinking how much I still miss her and I was shocked to realize that although I had meant to do it earlier, I had not been to the cemetery since the funeral service over a year ago.  I needed to go, to make certain the headstone had been placed and just to visit the grave.  I also wanted to visit the grave of my friend, Kaye Thomas who is buried there. 

I wanted to buy three roses to take to place on both graves, one for each of them.  I went to my local Albertson's in Tujunga/La Canada and they didn't have any individual roses.  I asked the woman working the floral counter and she said she didn't have any and suggested I buy these UGLY rose bush clipping she had.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  It wasn't what I had in mind.  I figured I could buy flowers at the cemetery, as I remembered a kiosk in the lobby.  So, after consulting the GPS- which wouldn't find the place -AND calling to get directions via the Reference desk at Los Feliz branch ( thanks!)  we were off.

It was a beautiful day and it warmed up quite a bit so I didn't need the over sized sweater I was wearing when we got to Riverside.  We went to the office to use the grave locator, which gives you a map and to buy flowers.  To my dismay, there were scant flowers in the auto-mat-like floral dispenser AND the ones that were there were, to use my mother's expression, sad.  I started laughing.  My dad used to change song lyrics all the time and I could hear him singing HIS version of "Red Roses for a blue Lady".  If you don't know the song, it begins "Wrap up some red roses for a blue lady"  My Dad's version went "Wrap up some dead roses for my Old Lady"  I just cracked up.  I think the soldier who was visiting his grandfather's grave before shipping out thought I was crazy until I explained it to him. "Is he here? " he asked.  I said yes. He asked a bit about my dad.  We chatted for a bit and he left to join his family.

We wandered around the cemetery until we were able to find the marker for my parents.  Initially, I thought they might  be in the wall that rings the grounds so we walked along , trying to find the marker; the map didn't quite jive with the guideposts.  We read some of the inscriptions on the headstones that were affixed to the wall.  My favorites were "Keep on Trucking" and "Rest in Peace Until We Meet Again."  Now, I KNOW it was meant to be two separate thoughts, but it struck me as funny nonetheless.

We found the grave-site and took a picture of the headstone, which I posted on Facebook for anyone who knew either or both of my parents to see.  The inscription "Dancing in the Clouds" is for both of them, for that is how we imagine them; together again and happy.  My father missed my mother every single day they were apart and he often said to me  "I am just waiting until she comes to get me"  I tried not to cry, but you know me- I did.  I miss them both terribly and probably always will.  The grounds are well kept- it IS a National Cemetery- and there were lots of people and many of the graves had flowers or other tokens.  As we walked over to find the grave for my friend Kaye, I noticed someone had placed an unopened Guinness on one nearby grave.  Sweet.

I had worked with Kaye Thomas and when he died and no one claimed his body I fought with the Coroner's Office to get him the burial he deserved as a veteran of the Korean War.  I pestered them so much they declared me "Friend of the Deceased" and I was able to get an inscription placed on his marker.  His marker says "dear Friend Semper Fi"  I think the old Marine would approve.  He was a good friend and a good man.  Getting him his final honor was nothing less than he deserved.  I am glad to have fought for it.  I had help from a few of my friends who helped me navigate the tricky bureaucracy of the VA, something that prepared me for the red tape and nonsense when I made the final arrangements for my parents.   My father always told me that his rule for dealing with the Military was to "Do what you are doing until they tell you to stop"  I operate more under the "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" rule and I MAY have broken one or two of their guidelines in honoring my parents final wishes, but I am not sure so I am not saying anymore about it!

We left and had lunch at a nearby Coco's where the food was ok, but the people were super-nice.  Nice was what I needed after being in the cemetery.  I hate when they don't ask you before they nuke your pie.  It just makes a gummy mess when they do that.  I didn't finish it.

Wednesday Morning musings

No real thoughts here,as I wait for the coffee to do it magic.  My sleep patterns have been of, assisted by the medication I am taking which gives me vivid nightmares.  More than once in the past few days, I have woken up screaming.  I wonder what sleep without dreams is like.  I wonder if people who say they don't dream just don't remember that they do, or if it is really possible NOT to dream.  I used to like dreaming, sometimes I dreamed these amazing stories, I called them Movies.  I was in them, me but not me; like an actor playing a role.  Those were fun.  Lately my dreams are terrible events that are SO real I have to touch Chris when I wake up to know they are not true.  Definitely NOT fun nor are they restful.  I wake up more tired than if I had not slept.  Going to be another fun day at work unless the coffee really does it's magic.  I need to talk to my doctor about the side effects of the meds and see if there is something else I can take that won't give me nightmares. UGH.

So I see they avoided the "Fiscal Cliff"  I see people are grumbling about Obama in this.  Let's take a close look at who really put the brakes to all of this; The House and the Senate.  GOP leaders saying they were NOT even going to try to vote, to work out a compromise?  I am sick to death of the lot of them.  As I have said before, this whole budget disaster is NOT a shocker, we have know about it for a long time.  So they are moaning that their holidays were ruined by it?  How about the American people?  OUR lives are being ruined by it.  Elected officials who don't do the job they were elected to do should be sacked.  I think they should ALL be voted out.  I know that leaves us with all new people , untried politicians, but I wonder if that might NOT be a good thing?  Is experience in the job a necessary thing, or should brains be the deciding factor.  I am not convinced that all the leaders here are not sitting on their brains, as my Dad used to say.  I am not blaming Obama here, and I know some of my friends are.  I believe the failure lies squarely in the laps of the Congress.

I promised myself I would be more positive this year , so here it is for today.  It looks like another beautiful day is dawning out there, one when anything is possible.  I am going to try to do my best to get MY job done today; at least some of the more pressing pending items.  I am happy to say I actually was able to address all my unread messages before leaving work on Monday, which is quite an accomplishment given I had over 60 messages when I got to work on Monday.  I have ONE project I am going to focus on- well maybe two!  I hope the Fates cooperate!

All is quiet on New Year's Day

Happy New Year.  2013 came in quietly here in Tujunga with a minimum of fireworks and gunfire.  Dull people that we are, we just sipped a bit of champagne and went to bed.  Got up early, but did not watch the parade.  Maybe in re-runs, which should be going on all day.  We were talking about going to see the floats, but I don't know if I am  up for masses of people, jockeying for position to see them.  They are amazing to see up close.

I see Congress is trying to avoid going over "the fiscal cliff"   Whatever.  They had all year to do this and they wait until the last minute?  A lot of people are going to blame Obama for this, but I am going to lay the blame SQUARELY on the Congress.  BOTH  parties can share the blame for this mess.  The House decided late yesterday they weren't going to vote on it?  WHAT? THAT'S YOUR MAIN JOB!  Not all the stupid little things they agreed on like renaming Post Offices and other small things that may have needed looking after but AFTER balancing the budget, coming up with a plan to keep this country solvent.  This should not be a surprise to them.  They seem to act as if they didn't know this was looming- for the past YEAR!  NO raise for ANY of them and dare I say it, vote them OUT of office-all of them- the next time they are up for reelection.  Seriously, the budget is Job One. 

There is a list of word that should no longer be used.  May I add  a few.  Baby Bump.  Baby Mama and Baby Daddy.  Seriously.  If the Duchess of Cornwall ate a pea they were screaming about her "baby bump"  I am sick of it.  Bump-watch 2013 anyone?  Poor thing.  It's bad enough tho have to live in that goldfish bowl without everyone staring at your midsection all the time.  Baby Mama and Baby Daddy just means ( to me) that you don't care enough about the other person to actually marry them. Maybe that's not right, but it just seems disrespectful.  I do refer to my ex-husband as "my daughter's father".  He's not my Baby Daddy.  Never was.

My resolution for this year is to try to focus on the positive things in my life.  So today, I am happy to be home with my sweet husband. I have a day off work where I can just relax and watch bad TV if I want.  As the song says "I've got no deeds to do, no promises to keep.  I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep"  A nap sounds good ;)