Riverside National Cemetery

Monday  would have been my Mom's 87th birthday.  It got me to thinking how much I still miss her and I was shocked to realize that although I had meant to do it earlier, I had not been to the cemetery since the funeral service over a year ago.  I needed to go, to make certain the headstone had been placed and just to visit the grave.  I also wanted to visit the grave of my friend, Kaye Thomas who is buried there. 

I wanted to buy three roses to take to place on both graves, one for each of them.  I went to my local Albertson's in Tujunga/La Canada and they didn't have any individual roses.  I asked the woman working the floral counter and she said she didn't have any and suggested I buy these UGLY rose bush clipping she had.  Nope.  Not gonna do it.  It wasn't what I had in mind.  I figured I could buy flowers at the cemetery, as I remembered a kiosk in the lobby.  So, after consulting the GPS- which wouldn't find the place -AND calling to get directions via the Reference desk at Los Feliz branch ( thanks!)  we were off.

It was a beautiful day and it warmed up quite a bit so I didn't need the over sized sweater I was wearing when we got to Riverside.  We went to the office to use the grave locator, which gives you a map and to buy flowers.  To my dismay, there were scant flowers in the auto-mat-like floral dispenser AND the ones that were there were, to use my mother's expression, sad.  I started laughing.  My dad used to change song lyrics all the time and I could hear him singing HIS version of "Red Roses for a blue Lady".  If you don't know the song, it begins "Wrap up some red roses for a blue lady"  My Dad's version went "Wrap up some dead roses for my Old Lady"  I just cracked up.  I think the soldier who was visiting his grandfather's grave before shipping out thought I was crazy until I explained it to him. "Is he here? " he asked.  I said yes. He asked a bit about my dad.  We chatted for a bit and he left to join his family.

We wandered around the cemetery until we were able to find the marker for my parents.  Initially, I thought they might  be in the wall that rings the grounds so we walked along , trying to find the marker; the map didn't quite jive with the guideposts.  We read some of the inscriptions on the headstones that were affixed to the wall.  My favorites were "Keep on Trucking" and "Rest in Peace Until We Meet Again."  Now, I KNOW it was meant to be two separate thoughts, but it struck me as funny nonetheless.

We found the grave-site and took a picture of the headstone, which I posted on Facebook for anyone who knew either or both of my parents to see.  The inscription "Dancing in the Clouds" is for both of them, for that is how we imagine them; together again and happy.  My father missed my mother every single day they were apart and he often said to me  "I am just waiting until she comes to get me"  I tried not to cry, but you know me- I did.  I miss them both terribly and probably always will.  The grounds are well kept- it IS a National Cemetery- and there were lots of people and many of the graves had flowers or other tokens.  As we walked over to find the grave for my friend Kaye, I noticed someone had placed an unopened Guinness on one nearby grave.  Sweet.

I had worked with Kaye Thomas and when he died and no one claimed his body I fought with the Coroner's Office to get him the burial he deserved as a veteran of the Korean War.  I pestered them so much they declared me "Friend of the Deceased" and I was able to get an inscription placed on his marker.  His marker says "dear Friend Semper Fi"  I think the old Marine would approve.  He was a good friend and a good man.  Getting him his final honor was nothing less than he deserved.  I am glad to have fought for it.  I had help from a few of my friends who helped me navigate the tricky bureaucracy of the VA, something that prepared me for the red tape and nonsense when I made the final arrangements for my parents.   My father always told me that his rule for dealing with the Military was to "Do what you are doing until they tell you to stop"  I operate more under the "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission" rule and I MAY have broken one or two of their guidelines in honoring my parents final wishes, but I am not sure so I am not saying anymore about it!

We left and had lunch at a nearby Coco's where the food was ok, but the people were super-nice.  Nice was what I needed after being in the cemetery.  I hate when they don't ask you before they nuke your pie.  It just makes a gummy mess when they do that.  I didn't finish it.