Tuesday, March 31, 2020

Quarantine week --- whatever

It's Tuesday, of that I am certain, as I am going back to "work" in a few minutes.  I work from home and, yes, I really AM putting in my full effort at work.  I still have a lot to do.

I am still waking up coughing, but that is my asthma, not quite under control. I do NOT have Covid-19, according to my last real in-person doctor visit.  I am sticking with that.  My last conversation with my pulmonologist gave me pause.  He wants to try immunotherapy when this is all over.  Ok.  Whatever it takes so I will feel "normal"  When I said that to my dr , he laughed and said he had never actually seen me "normal"  I did make a joke that normal was not a good description of me anyway.  The poor man sounded tired. 

Being "Safer at home" is wearying.  I am afraid to leave the house and a trip to the trash can at the end of the property seems like a covert adventure.   Chris goes to the store.  Yesterday he suggested I go and stay in the car, just to get out of the house.  Maybe next time.  This must be how agoraphobics feel.  I am listless.

I HAVE been digging into Ancestry and have seen some very cool links to my family past.   I found that i AM a daughter of the American Revolution, just not where I THOUGHT, but along a farther line.  there is a whole cool story about the guy and I will be looking him up to see if I can find more information about him. He would have been my eight times great grandfather.    THAT was a long time ago.

Still I can't wait for the "All Clear" to sound.  I read a lot of memes that talk about Anne Frank, but I wonder how her mother fared in all of this.  Due to the sanitized version of her diary that everyone reads in middle school, Anne comes off as a sweet dreamy girl.  But I wonder about the harsh reality of being in hiding.  While it is true, we are hiding in some respects, the brutal reality of the Frank family is an interesting juxtaposition.  I wonder about the truth of their daily life, not just what Otto Frank wanted the world to see.

Perhaps I will have to see if the book is online.  I am listening to audio books a lot. I find the sound filling up the room to be helpful and the escapist novel I am listening to a counter to the reality of what is going on in the world.

Friday, March 27, 2020

Friday

Friday used to bring me such joy.  AHHHH   The workweek was over and I could spend the weekend at home.  NOW I wish I were at work.  This is NOT like what retirement will be.  I am afraid to leave the house; I am high risk and if I catch this thing it COULD be bad.  I've had a bad case of pneumonia before- not ventilator bad but bad enough.  I am staying put.  Chris goes out, but he is mindful of social distance.

I hope this is over soon, but like anything it will get worse before it gets better.

I downloaded a book and am listening to it during the day.  I AM working, but the silence is deafening when Chis is not in the room.  He is trying to not disturb my workday.  I am busy  and doing a lot of things.

I'll let you know how the books is.  It's the first Lily Singer book, a series about a librarian who is a wizard.  They have a whole different definition of what a wizard is, but I am applying a whole LOT of "willing suspension of disbelief"  I find it helps- or as my dad used to tell me when I pointed out inconsistencies in movies-"it would be a real short one if they did"

Happy Friday , y'all.  Stay safe and catch you on the flip-side.

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Quarantine thoughts

ok, we are not EXACTLY quarantined but we are staying home and I am staying, mostly, indoors.  I am nervous about my body's ability to fight off the virus.  I have a super low immune system.  So low, in fact, that my pulmonologist is going to talk to my asthma doctor about immunotherapy, when all this is over.  Not fun, but we have to get to the other side of this pandemic first.

My kitchen is shrinking.  I keep bumping into things and yesterday I broke a glass and my kitchen-sponge frog.  The frog wasn't working out anyway and the glass was from the Dollar Tree,  but I swear the kitchen is smaller than it was last week.  This weekend, I think I will take EVERYTHING out of the pantry and reorganize it.  I look for things I KNOW are there and it's like a worm-hole.  Things disappear and reappear.  Maybe my pantry is like Morris' Disappearing Bag, a children's story by Rosemary Wells ( I had lunch with her once,as part of a large group, she was gracious and lovely, I think I still have my signed copy of Noisy Nora, but might have lost in when I moved)

In any case, I need to get a handle on my house.

I am working from home and frankly, I hate it.  The best part of my job is talking to people and getting their issues resolved.  I was once chastised for talking too much ( once?  No a LOT of times), as people don't realize that while I am chatting with someone, I am also in the program opening a ticket or looking for the job order or emailing a supervisor.  I multitask, but it just seems like I am having a party in my cubicle.  It's how I roll.  It's not everyone's work style but it's mine.

I miss my peeps!

I am working nonstop on reports that needed doing and it's good to have the quiet time to concentrate, but being home, every  creak, every bang in this old place startles me.  Chris is home now for the most part.  He tries not to distract me as  I AM working and I take seriously that the City is paying me to WORK, not sit on the couch and eat cheese puffs and watch "Say Yes to the Dress" or some other mindless program.

Still I can't wait to get back to my office where things are somewhat normal.  I am praying that we all come through this wiser and more aware of ourselves and our actions and interactions..

I will be stocking my pantry.

Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Pen pals

Do you remember how excited you were to get actual mail?  I do.  The mailbox on our porch made a squeaky noise and I would race out on the porch to check the mail.  Most of the time it was for my parents, and in retrospect, most of the time they were probably not thrilled with the mail, but once a month or so, I would receive a letter from my penpal.

I signed up for a penpal via a  magazine I got in church ( this is an important detail, please tuck it under your hat for now)  I was given the name of a girl named Sue ( I will not put her last name here)  She lived in a small town in Michigan.  For years- probably five or six at least- we exchanged letters, newsy and  not so newsy letters about our daily lives.  I can't remember much of them and I no longer have her letters.  Here is why.  I had NO idea that my longtime penpal had family in California and when she said she was coming to visit I gave her my phone number so we could FINALLY meet in person.  My mom was down with the plan and I thought she was too.  Then, she called me from her family's home.  In Beverly Hills.  She was calling to say we could not meet, that there just wasn't time, or some lame excuse, but I was pretty good at reading through the lines. Her rich family was aghast at anyone from Pacoima meeting with them.  Didn't matter that I was a good Christian girl, just that I lived in the wrong part of town for their darling to meet with.  We exchanged letters, less frequently, the last one telling me she was getting married.  She was eighteen and on the verge of being an old maid  I suppose.  She was about two years older than me.   I hope wherever she is she is happy and maybe she wonders what happened to me. Probably not.  That single incident revealed her to me.  Her letter when she returned to her small town from the glitz of the family estate, showed no regret at not meeting. Our warm friendship was over.

Which brings me to why this all came up.  My friend Cindy Alexander, who is an AMAZING singer-songwriter and if you aren't a fan YOU SHOULD BE , is taking about writing letters.  I hope she does.  In this fast paced world, it might be nice to put pen to paper, practice my penmanship , which has totally disintegrated , not that it was wonderful to begin with; I actually failed handwriting in Mrs. Gnotta's second grade class. My mom in an uncharacteristic show of support for this failed scholastic endeavor, showed me HER handwriting, which was almost illegible.  Me ex's mother once asked me, in a snotty tone, why my mother always typed  her letters.  I went into my house and handed her a sample of the letters I used to get.  I was now a skilled translator of my mother's handwriting. She understood.  I remember my mom leaving me a note on the door and because I could not read it, I sat on the back steps crying until one of the neighbors came and got me. The note told me she was next door.

Still I am hopeful to put my letter writing skills to the test.  Writing is really the only art form, I practice ( Chris will tell you it's cooking, but that skill  is survival, even if I enjoy the process most of the time)  I am looking forward to that giddy feeling of getting a letter that is not a bill or a pleas for charity. Just an old fashioned "HEY, You've got mail!


Monday, March 23, 2020

Cooking and Julia Child

Can I admit that I have never been fascinated with French food?  I know, I know, it's supposed to be the best food on the planet, but maybe it just has a great press agent. 

Last night, Chris and I watched Julie and Julia, about a woman in Queens who is drifting in her life until she takes on the challenge of making every dish in Child's standout book, "Mastering the art of French Cooking"  She blogs her journey and becomes famous, obsessing over her perception of who Julia Child is, based on the book and her popular cooking show.  Julie becomes a literary star, but at the denouement of the film learns that not everything is what it seems.

There is a line from a Joan Baez song about Bob Dylan "Idols are best when they're made of stone."  I think of that often.  We build people up to these monuments in our heads, forgetting that most people really don't walk on water.  I am glad I was raised by my Dad who worked around movie folks but reminded me that they were just normal people. doing what was perceived as a glamorous job.  The reality of film-making, from what I understand, is anything BUT glamorous. It's hard work and long hours.  Sure your picture is everywhere while you are on top and , as James Taylor wryly noted "perfect strangers call you by name" but ( and I seem to be quoting songs here)  "a legend's only a lonely boy when he goes home alone"

It was nice to try to watch a movie.  Chris thoughtfully pauses it when my restlessness causes me to get up from my seat and prowl in the kitchen. I am glad  my husband understands what is going on with me these days.  One day, when this is all over, I would like to treat him to one of those movie palaces where you can have dinner and drinks brought to your recliner while watching a film.

One Day!

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Safe at home

It's been less than a week and yet, I am losing it.

I want to go somewhere but I KNOW better. I am half afraid to go to the mailbox of do the laundry.  I am high risk and all this misinformation is making me crazy.

The Orange Menace is now having daily Press Briefings" which he has in lieu of his campaign rallies.  He lies outrageously, to the point where his experts behind him cover their faces or roll their eyes.

I am trying not to watch him, just read the reports and I am with Rachel Maddow on stopping the "daily Pressers"  It's a replacement for  his rallies.

So far, my "safe at Home" days have been .. interesting. I am working from home and it is exhausting. I miss my friends and personal interaction with people.  It's going to be a long month or two.

I have been entertaining myself by cooking new dishes; my kitchen is somewhere between an episode of Chopped and Worst Cooks In America..


Still I am thinking about Anne Frank and how long she was stuck inside.  We are not exactly stuck inside and we can talk to one another, read books online and see movie, we can take classes and connect with one another even if we can't be in each other's presence.

It's going to be interesting...

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Home bound

I've been home bound in the past.  A few years ago I had pneumonia and last summer I had surgery.  It's easier to stay home when you have no energy.  This is different.

This virus worries me.  I am in the age group and the medical condition group to be in the "target audience"  I am washing my hands, drinking fluids and getting a lot of rest. I am also doing my job from home.

I have a lot of things I can do and I am going to make a list to try to get them all done.   I have about a week before we 'think" we are going back. April 1.

I am trying not to go out, to avoid the grocery store and anything else.  Chris is supposed to fly to Oakland tomorrow.  the whole think is 'wait and see"

England is postponed.  The travel agent said they will probably give us credit for future travel. In the meantime, I am putting everything I can back into the account I had set up to travel there.  If I DON'T get something back, well.  I will have enough to do it when the ban is lifter.

The virus also means I will be putting off the knee replacement until they can do these types of surgery again,  Sometime in August, I suspect.

I need to check into work in a few minutes and get started on things.  I hope to write more, as it is a stress reliever for me to do this.  I am going to be rambling around the apartment, hoping the internet holds out with everyone being under house arrest in Los Angeles.  I can do some of my writing offline and just move it when the systems restore, I suppose.

Most of my documents for work, however, are online.  This might get interesting,but I can't do anything if the net is down!

Stay safe. Stay healthy and see you here on this page!




Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Wednesday morning

There's a song by my favorite band, America called Wednesday morning.  Gerry sings "Wednesday morning, nothing is the same"  the song is about a breakup, but the chorus is :

I've been waiting every evening
Wondering what I'm gonna say
Sometimes life can be deceiving
Wednesday won't go away



So I've been waiting on City Council, go to work?  Stay home?  Shelter in place?   No idea at this time.  So I am up, doing my breathing treatment. I do them twice a day and have a compromised immune system but since I can't stay home without a doctor's note  AND my doctor is too busy to give me one, I go to work.  Thankfully I drive and we are closed to the public but I am still out in the world.  I went to the grocery store yesterday, I may start shopping on Amazon 

I need yeast and eggs.  I have a bread maker and I am going to drag it out and put it to work, but I need some things to actually MAKE the bread.  That is , when I am home.

I have a ton of things I can DO from home, for work and it will certainly keep me busy.  I think that meeting will happen with my boss as soon as we hear what Council decide yesterday, if anything.  


I have a phone meeting with my doctor tomorrow at 4:20 or something. I had better check to see the time so I am available to talk to him, not that it will do any good at this stage.

So, I wait to see what my weeks are going to be like.  I will be spending a lot of time trying to find books to download and. maybe try some more intense writing than this blog.  I've got nothing but time, after I do the work for work.  I have an extra two hours a day if I am not commuting.

Stay safe.  Keep calm and wash your hands.  When all this is over, we need to have a party.

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Erin Go Bragh

I know only two phrases in Gaelic;  Erin go bragh , which mean Ireland Forever and one which I would like to hurl at the current occupant of the White  House and the Senator from Kentucky  POGUE MAHONE ( a variant of the true Celtic so if you are Irish or speak the language please forgive me.)  it means Kiss my ass and according to my dad, the only Celtic he learned from his grandfather.

My Dad's grandparents were James McCue and Margaret Ward McCue.  The came from Caven ( pronounce KAH-ven, which I learned much to my shame at a dinner party that I had been mispronouncing it all these years)   When I retire, I am going to try to GO to the town and see if I have family there- they came her AFTER the famine, but under some kind of cloud. I would be willing to bet James was an early Fenian, there was some story about his wife signing the farm here over to someone who came looking for him while he was away and it took about two years to get it back.   James and Margaret had eighteen children; three sets of twins in the mix.  She died  when she was 42  Only nine of their children lived to adulthood,  MY grandmother was Ida Mae (she was named after a rich woman in town) but was known as Jenny ( Irish slang for a mule which probably suited her stubborn nature)  I have stories about the McCue daughters which one day I will write down for my grand-kids.  I plan on delving deeper into genealogy and family history when I retire next year.

But for today, my corned beef  in the crock pot ( an American dish eaten for some reason on St Patrick's day) and when I come home from work will hoist a wee dram of Bushmill's to toast my ancestors, and thank them for coming here to create the family that created me.  We are all here by random decisions made by someone.  When I think about that, it IS kind of trippy.

So celebrate today. Heck, celebrate every day, in some small way, the wonderful coincidence that is you!

Thursday, March 12, 2020

GRRR

I've been frustrated lately and writing  just has not been possible.  I hate writing grumpy blogs but frankly I am grumpy.

So here goes.

Work is crazy busy.  We are already pedal-to-the metal most days but with this public health crisis everything is so uncertain and we are trying to do our best for staff and the public.  My regular work is harder to accomplish.  I feel frustrated as I can't seem to get anything done.  I have to remind myself to breathe and WASH MY HANDS

England.  I am GOING TO ENGLAND!   Six weeks until my lovely cousin marries the love of his life.  I HAVE to be there.  For now, travel is NOT restricted from here to the UK.  I hope it holds.  Seriously I have my tickets and the room is non-refundable.  That's a LOT of money if we can't go.  Say NOTHING of missing the wedding- which I will really be upset about if that happens.  Sure, I can go some other time but when will all the fam be in one place again?   This bites.

I am talking to my pulmonologist anyway.  I need to be strong enough , health-wise- if this comes at me.  I am high risk on all cylinders.  Sucks.  that's all I can say about it.  Still I will be careful and I am stubborn.  I have had pneumonia once. It was NOT fun.  I wound up in the hospital but I fought back and was ok.  Still,it is NOT something I wish to repeat.

I am trying to find something happy to think about here.  Started listening to a new book on cd- the Dutch house- read by tom Hanks.  Funny Tom and Rita announces that they both had the virus.   Hope they are ok.  I like Tom Hanks!

I need to get a bunch of books, in case I am quarantined.  I have toilet paper and a Brita filter , but I will need something to READ!

Thursday, March 5, 2020

Elections, pandemics and washing your hands

Geez.  It's been a while since I sat down to write anything.   Busy and frankly, sick.

I do NOT have the corona virus, just a nasty cold that , as usual, defaulted to bronchitis.  I have chronic asthma and the meds I take to save me also play havoc with my immune system. 

It's a double-edged sword.

The City has declared a state of urgency- maybe it's emergency, I can't remember, but whatever it is, my department is gearing up for a public health crisis.  Better to be prepared, I suppose.  We serve a large homeless population.  I hope this thing gets under control soon, but the current National Administration is kind of blowing it off.  I understand the need to keep calm and not panic, but yesterday, they had a press conference and refused the tv and radio media access. yeah.  Get the word out.  MOST people these days do NOT read the paper. Most people listen to soundbites and tweets.

Sigh

I was in my local Vons and the manger told me some guy bought EVERY SINGLE hand sanitizers, both the pumps and the individual ones.  Nice going asshole.  You feel better now?  He probably is holed up in his house with them and is planning on selling them on the black market for big bucks.


I voted this week.  I voted for Elizabeth Warren, even though people told me she had what my Dad would have called  "a snowballs' chance"  referring to just how long a snowball might survive in hell.  I just wanted the Old White Guys to be aware that they did not have a mandate from the starting gate, that there are people who want change.  I was thinking about this country, how we puff our chests out and claim to be the leader of the Free World, and yet, we cannot elect a woman and a person of color has an uphill climb. There are probably STILL people who believe all the crap that trump and his people slung and still sling at Barrack Obama.   I vote every single time and proudly remember the women of my grandmother's generation who fought for the right to vote- some DIED, but they don't tell you THAT in the history books, women's suffrage and the fight for it is made to sound like a freaking TEA SOCIAL.  I vote because they believed in ME.  I honor them.

Just a final note, as the corona virus spreads or doesn't   Keep calm and wash your hands.  You should be doing it anyway.