Dancing.... (satire)

A friend of mine posted a humorous piece by Dave Chappell which "investigates" the assertion that white people CAN dance, but just to electric guitar music.  It was pretty funny, but as he was talking about how white people can't dance I found myself thinking about

Fred Astaire
Ginger Rodgers
Gene Kelly ( sigh.. Gene Kelly)
Mikael Baryshnikov (ah... MISHA!)
Mick Jagger..


No scratch that last one, he dances like a rooster on acid.  In any case, there are white people who can dance, the above list proves it.  I must bring the assertion to the table that it is NOT our lack of pigmentation which leads to our lack of dance moves; rather it is the presence of a mutated gene- the Klutz Gene that is the root cause of this phenomenon. The Klutz gene tends to run in families and the possessor of said gene often is unable to walk and chew gum at the same time.  It's a tragic malady and one for which there is no known cure.  Sadly, many sufferers seem to believe that the consumption of large quantities of alcohol will assuage the symptoms.  This is not the case, as many wedding dance-floor videos will corroborate.  There IS no cure.

Sadly, I too am afflicted, so as the song goes "I won't dance, don't ask me!"

Hope, headaches, sleep and time

Rough couple of days for me and a lot of people I know.  I will talk about it when I can, but I am heartsick by all the venom being poured out these days.  I believe there are two, possibly three sides to every story.  People lining up on one side without knowing the facts, spreading rumors and second-hand gossip and trying to bully me into doing something prematurely is just so not right.  I will NOT bow to bullies, I never did and I am not about to start NOW.  I don't respond to threats and ultimatums very well, it makes me dig in my heels even more.  I cannot respond to people directly right now, it's a tricky legal issue and I am following the advice of an attorney ; but best believe I have answered some of these less-than-well-thought-out missives IN MY HEAD!  Probably the direct cause of the migraine I have had off and on since Friday.  Some relief should come in the next few days.  In the meantime, if you are a praying person, keep me in your prayers or send me positive thoughts or healing light or a virtual hug. 

I have been having some medical issues lately.  I believe it's all due to lack of sleep, more than anything else.  I slept for fourteen hours a few weeks ago and woke up without the symptoms that I have every morning, even though I had missed my nighttime "cocktail" of pills.  I actually felt.. BETTER.  I need to have a long conversation with my doctors about it and see if I can step down off the one med and just try something to help me sleep. 

Hope is what keeps me going.  That and my faith in the Universe, or in God which in my mind are the same thing, that what is right will happen.  It may take time, it may encounter a few bumps but I have to believe that ultimately good wins.  Maybe I am naive, but I believe it.  I have to.  Otherwise I would never get out of bed, or be hiding under my desk all day.  I have to believe that good people will triumph and the truth, however hard to take, will out!

Changes

There are changes afoot in the Myers household.  I am wrapping my head around one of them, and will talk about it in more detail when I can clearly think about it.  Right now it's just a stunning development of the long-awaited kind.  It doesn't seem real quite yet.  It's a good thing, but in some aspects a scary thing.   More on that in the next few days

I am trying to decide how to vote on our new contract.  It's not all that great, to tell you the truth. I will benefit majorly, but I am not sure it has great long-term prospects for our Union.  I need to see the entire MOU to see if there is something I am missing in the proposal.  Once I read the whole thing, I will decide what I want to do.  As the Election Chair, I am supposed to be apolitical.  I want people to read it for themselves and decide.  If they do vote it down and it goes to impasse, I wonder what will happen.  The City will impose the offer on us?  Maybe.  The Employee Relations Board will probably have to make a ruling .  I am not going to worry about it.  As I see it, my mission is to get people to read it and decide what to do.  I want people to vote.  The last elections were decided by a handful of people who actually took the time to vote.  The rest just complain like mad and don't bother to vote.  It's frustrating. 

Can you tell me why every scandal has to end in the suffix -gate?  Benghazi-gate, Bridge-gate?  Squidgy-gate?   WATERGATE was the name of the HOTEL  for goodness sakes and somehow adding "gate" to the end of the word throws the conspiracy theory aspect to any real or imagined scandal?  I'm getting tired of it.  It's a knee-jerk media behavior.  I would be willing to BET that if you asked any one under the age of 25 WHY the media does this, they won't have a clue.  They just know that it hints at some sort of cover-up.  I don't watch the news anymore, I read it.  That way, if I get too pissed off at the article, I can come back when I am more ready to read it.  The  "newscasters" these days are more often than not just presenting opinion  as "news"  Some of it smacks of salacious gossip; like getting the facts from the National Enquirer.  It's getting harder and harder to find the truth in our media.  Someone suggested I read newspapers from other countries, as they have a different slant on what is going on.  It's sad when we are being serially misinformed in our own country, but I suppose using multiple sources would give me a better understanding of the issues as they relate not only locally, but globally.

I need a miracle every day.

"There are two ways to live;  you can live as if everything is a miracle or nothing is a miracle"  This quote, attributed to Albert Einstein, was in my head this morning as I made breakfast in my kitchen.  The question is usually "is the glass half full or half empty?"  I am a "What's IN the glass and can I have more if I drink THAT?" kind of person.

Things have been challenging, lately.  Last night I slept for 14 hours.  Yes I know, that's a long time, but apparently some of the symptoms I have been trying to ignore are tied to exhaustion and last night, after a lovely day playing mini-golf and being out in the sunshine and fresh air, my body finally consented to a long uninterrupted sleep.  It did me good.  That and a long cry to help get the stress out of my system.  I still am unsure how I will be handling certain issues, but am better for the rest and the release.

I suppose I should look at my lack of exercise and try to find something I can do consistently AT HOME.  I have a treadmill.  I should so that every day.  I don't and I wonder how I can make it part of my evening routine- it makes too much noise and I really don't want to wake my nice next-door neighbor ( we share a wall) by starting the thing up at 6 a.m. Joining a gym is right out!  I do not like to come home, get changed and go out again.  I also like to have time with my husband in the evening.  Working on my treadmill while dinner cooks is a real possibility for me and I will try it out this week.  Wish me luck!

Going back to think about the Einstein quote it is real or not, I suppose I try to live more as if everything is a miracle.  Sometimes, I just look out my kitchen window at the clouds or pause in the parking lot to look at the sunset.  I am reminded that there is beauty and wonder in the everyday, if we just stop and SEE it.

Friday

The weekend can't get here soon enough!  I have had a bear of a week, for no other reason than I am playing "catch up" with some of my projects, trying to get out of the way of the new ones coming at me.  Busy as always.  There is no "slow time" at my job- well maybe the Christmas holidays, but even then we were working on the Sunday hours branches this year.  ARGH! 

We are planning on getting together with some good friends for something tomorrow.  We talked about going to the movies, but if tomorrow is anything like the last week has been, weather-wise, I want to go and do something slightly outdoorsy.  I need to be out in the sunshine.  All week, I am trapped in my windowless cube, I can see out the window of my co-worker's office if I tilt my head, or when I go to the water cooler, but that's just a tease.  I want to be OUT in the Winter sunshine.  We live in Los Angeles, where January means  mild temperatures and bright sunshine;  beautiful crystal clear skies ( except for the smoke from the Glendora fire right now)  I  can't see spending the afternoon in a darkened movie house when there is sunshine to be drenched in.  We will have to plan a movie day when it rains.  Right now, there isn't anything I am dying to see.  My husband says I don't like movies.  Maybe he's right.  I have trouble these days mustering the energy to sit still and pay attention.  We often have "movie night" with our neighbor, but that is fun because he often stops the film to talk about it.  We have "intermission"  where we discuss the film so far.  We have a lot of different theories about the points and progress of the films, it's a lot of fun. 

Of course the "downside" to the weekend is that I have to do all the houseworky things that I can't or don't do during the week.  I keep hoping the housework fairies will come and do my house.  In the Jim Butcher "Dresden files" series HE has fairies who clean his place and all he has to pay them is a large pizza.  hmmm  I wonder how you get in touch with them to make THAT deal.  I hate to say this though; I am not sure I would actually WANT fairies in my house.  They can be a bit tricky, if I am remembering my fairy tales correctly.  Even Tinkerbell had an evil streak.  Maybe I ought to just clean the house myself.

Coffee, do your stuff!

I have reached a certain point in my life where I wonder where all my energy went.  I used to have a lot more of it.  True, I could take a nap ANYWHERE, including tucked between two road cases backstage while another band sound checked, but I also exerted a whole lot of energy when I was conscious.  Now , I am awake a moment or two before my alarm goes off and I am dreading it's noise.  I usually try to turn it off just before it goes off or after a beep or two.  I live in an older apartment with very thin walls.  I don't want to wake my neighbor OR my husband ( well I do wake him up but he's usally not SO awake he doesn't fall back to sleep the minute I ease out of bed.)

I pad downstairs and make coffee.  I make it STRONG. My Dad used to complain about that when I visited him.  I would try to beat him to the coffee maker; his coffee was like coffee flavored hot water.  I finally told him "Look, you already KNOW I make it this way.  I LIKE it strong.  You can add hot water to strong coffee, but there isn't a darn thing you can do about weak coffee!"  He agreed that I had a point, but after a while got used to the way I made it and stopped grumbling- at least about my coffee.  He found other things I didn't do tho his specifications to complain about . 

I like Sumatra, and will down two cups before starting off to work.  I would drink more, but I fear it is not good for me at this stage of the game.  Getting older isn't for sissies, that's for sure. 

So, waiting to see if the caffeine will kick in, dreaming of another cup of joe  and prepping for  another day at work.  It's been incredibly busy and I need to be more than one of me to do everything that needs doing.  I am a multitasker of the first order, but some days I am more on my "game" than others.  Here's hoping the coffee does it's magic!

Swearing

I try not to swear.  Honestly.  I have a fairly substantial vocabulary and can usually convey displeasure or frustration by using any number of alternative words that are more socially acceptable.  Sometimes ONLY a swear word will do; my favorite being a compound word, comprised of a synonym for donkey and a small depression in the ground.  I was with a co-worker the other day and she used a much different compound word to indicate her opinion of the moron in the luxury car who nearly ran us down.  It got me to thinking, are our choices of swear words a generational thing?  My mother used the term for a child born out of wedlock almost exclusively to indicate her displeasure. with someone.  When did that term become a swear word?  I suppose if you cast aspersions on someone's parents marital status at the time of their conception, it is meant to be hurtful and insulting.  I pondered once with a long ago friend if calling someone my favorite term indicated that they were a chamber for conducting excrement.  hmmmm. I wonder about the term my co-worker used, since many people whose female partner HAS children ARE this, by default.  How is THAT a swear word?  Well, the second word, which may or may not be an archaic legal term, is universally identified as impolite.

Still sometimes only the boldest of swear words will help to alleviate the frustration and anger.  I use them sparingly in public settings to diffuse the situation going on in MY head and am more able to deal with people whose behavior has me wanting to go WWF smackdown on them.

I think I am whining

Lately, I seem to have more to kvetch about in these blogs than things to feel good about.  I really should try to be more upbeat about things.   After all, I have a pretty nice life, all things considered.  Sure, there ARE things that I want, but do I NEED them?  Not really, I suppose.  I still have dreams for myself, and have hope for the future.

I saw an interview with a 17 year old kid, Sam Berns, who had that disease that makes you age prematurely.  He was so "glass half full" that it put me to shame. He looked forward, didn't  allow himself to throw a "pity party" and  said some pretty neat things.  One thing that stuck with me is "being brave is supposed to be hard"  I think so too.  Sometimes it's just making the only choice you can live with, even though the other choice might be easier in the short term, being brave and going forward takes courage.  He died about three months after the interview.  He had to know he might not live out his dreams, but he created them and looked forward to them anyway.   as they say in Nicholas Nicklby  "Hope!   Always Hope!"

Words I will try to remember today.

Sunday, feeling a bit... weird

LAPL is opening on Sundays today and there is a big "celebration" being held at Central and at eight Regional branches.  I actually volunteered to help out.  After all, I reasoned,  I have done a few of these before.  I was NOT asking for compensation, just offering my help.  They told me "we don't need you"  This, after the City Librarian stood up in a General meeting and told Seniors to get staff to come out.  Ok then.  I made a dinner and a movie date with my husband instead, but it feels odd not to be among my friends, helping out.  Maybe I just need to scale back my dedication to my work a bit.  I don't know how to do that, really.  I am always "all in" with whatever project I am doing, not just work but volunteer stuff I do elsewhere. Something to consider.

Yesterday, I went to the first meeting for the Water Captains at the LA Marathon.  It's my eleventh year doing this, and there were no big surprises this year.  I am glad Gatorade is back as a sponsor, because that replenish stuff was nasty tasting and you got powder all over you.  The runners hated it! It was nice to see my good friend Luiza and laugh with her again.  It makes it nice when you can enjoy what might be a long day by laughing with friends.  We had AED and CPR training and as Luiza tried to practice the Heimlich on me ( not hard, just to get the feel of it) I realized JUST how ticklish I am. I was laughing so hard, she had trouble doing it.  I just cracked up.  Had to go and get a burrito at Yuca's afterward.  Training is hard work!

I will be sending my emails out to those who have volunteered with me before.  I closed the group to outsiders,as people see the last mile and think they will see the winner.  WE start after the winner has signed for the Honda and is enjoying a beer in the hospitality suite.  The people we see are, in my book, the REAL winners; people who are running for themselves, for charity, for the sheer joy of running.  I don't understand why someone would put themselves through this agony, but I am out there on the course to give them water and cheer them home.  Let me know if you want to join me!

This is probably going to offend someone

My husband found an article about a supposed medical study that claims that sperm is an anti-depressant.  It's an old study, one without much real medical evidence to support it, but it's making the rounds again.  It seems the article claims that women who have unprotected sex are less depressed than those who have protected sex.  I personally think it's a load of malarkey, to be blunt.  I think the "researchers" were frat boys trying to get laid for "research purposes" and they skewed the results in order to convince naive girls to have unprotected sex.  "C'mon,, research shows you'll be happier if I don't wear a condom".  Uh-huh.  Sounds like a story my mom told me once about  U.S. Soldiers in WWII telling English girls that all US solders were given shots to prevent them from getting anyone pregnant.   Some of them, apparently were QUITE convincing!


It got me to thinking about the supposed "power" of the "male member."  After all, legend has it that women are changed after losing their virginity.  Only a virgin can capture a unicorn.  The Oracle lost her gift of sight after she lost her virginity; and blah , blah , blah.  These stories only reinforce the male power stereotype and the dichotomy of thought about how we approach sexuality in our rather puritan society.   A man who has multiple sex partners is a stud, a woman is a slut.  My mother, God love her, always told me that a man should be experienced and a woman  should be a virgin when they got married.  Now I ask you; WHERE is a man going to GET experience if all the women are supposed to be virgins????  I never got a good answer on that one.

Here's a link to the commentary on the article.  I particularly like the  quote down at the bottom, saying that this particular scholarly journal will publish any crackpot paper that comes their way and intimates that the editors must be chipmunks.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/unique-everybody-else/201209/semen-antidepressant-think-again

Happy Birthday, Mom

I miss my mom.  Some days are harder than others.  Today would have been her 88th birthday.  It's hard to believe it's been ten years since we celebrated her last birthday.  She was a bit confused, but childlike as she asked "is it MY birthday?  My mother had Alzheimer's.  It was draining to see the once vibrant intelligent woman slip away bit by bit.  I often "talk" to her and sometimes I can hear a response.  I hope she would be happy for the life I am leading now.  I know she would have loved my husband and been happy to see Kate happily married as well.  She probably would have Kate's husband's face between her hands and kissed him and cajoled him to treat her well.Sometimes , like right now, tears just well up in my eyes; I miss her so badly, but I brush the tears away and try to remember that she would not have wanted to live like that, half there.  She and my father are together in a better place.  The thought sustains me.  So happy birthday, Mom.  I am sure there is chocolate in Heaven.  How could it be Heaven if there weren't?

Sending out "happy thoughts" to my friends and Family.  The year has had a rough start for a lot of us, but I believe it will be better.  So for my nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, Aunts and Uncles,Cousins and friends I am sending ALL of you a mental hug and a wish for good things for you today.  Send me one back!

Technology and other stressors

Isn't technology supposed to make our lives easier?  On Friday, I hit a wall at work when the technology I depend on to do my job seemed to mock me at every turn.

I got into the office, rarin' to get to what needed to be done with job orders, only to find I could not access the drive that holds ALL my files?   GRRRRRRR!  After about a half an hour of frustration and work-arounds, the thing came back up.  I hate when that happens.  My work has become- by my own design- essentially paperless; I get most of my requests via email and keep all the files on the drives.  When that goes down, I am dead in the water as far as doing my main job goes.  Probably NOT the best plan, but it is the way we ware supposed to be going, right?  Mind you, I still get phone calls for the more pressing jobs but when I can't do my main one, I am frustrated.

Part two of this is the fact that our once "State of the art" phone system is going the way of the dinosaur. I was told to call my telephone repair request for a fire alarm in to 311.  Simple, right?  Except OUR system would not take 311!  It waited for more numbers to be dialed.  I finally grabbed my cell phone and called. THEY transferred me BACK to the guy who told me to call 311.   ARGH!!!!!! 

I want nothing more than to go back upstairs and snuggle under the covers.  Where did the weekend go?  I seem to be on a go-go-go collapse cycle.  I need to slow down.  It's hard to get all the things I see that need to be done and factor in some "me time" .  Last night I walked away from the computer and snuggled under the covers with a good book ( Alice McDermott's "Somebody")  It reminded me that one of life's best pleasures is reading in bed.  I need to do more of that.  I need to look at my reading list and see what I have put off.  I need to step away from the computer sometimes and just relax!

After all, it's what we've done that makes us what we are

That's a line from Jim Croce, but sometimes songs contain a certain philosophy that rings more true than the standard philosophers.  Over the Christmas holidays, small dramas played themselves out and it got me to thinking about how I got to where I am in my life.  If you read this blog, you know I consider myself extremely lucky.  I am a pretty happy person, most of the time.  I "escaped" a bad situation and got into a very good one, probably more by luck than plan; although I did plan, it was wonderful when the stars aligned and things I needed fell into my lap.  I got into a conversation with an old friend who was talking about how my early marriage and hers were "Mistakes"  I don't consider it to have been a mistake.  I say "Getting married was not a mistake, STAYING married would have been."  She didn't seem to get it.  I pressed on, saying that I got my daughter as a result of that marriage and I learned a lot about myself and the strength that I have in getting out of it.  I found I had wonderful, supportive friends and that I COULD do it on my own.  That situation made me who I am today.  Life is a series of twists and turns along the path, some planned and some decisions that are made for you by circumstances over which you have no control.  It's how you handle THOSE that matters.  Sure, there are days I want to hide under my desk and not come out until quitting time, but that's not going to happen. 

We are the people we are today because of the experiences we have had AND how we dealt with them.  Sometimes it's hard to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start all over again, but if you don't your choices become limited.  There is a saying "Fall down six times. Get up seven"

sizes and fat shaming

This may be a case of TMI, but today as I was putting on my "unmentionables," I noticed that the label said XL/8  In WHAT world is SIZE EIGHT an extra large?  Oh yeah, Los Angeles, the land of anorexia and fat shaming.  Now, I admit, I am not a skinny Minnie and haven't been what anyone would consider "slender" in  a very long time, but extra large?   What does that kind of labeling do to someone with self-esteem issues?  People have different natural body shapes.  I myself have always been voluptuous, even curvy, when I weighed 103 pounds soaking wet.  I have thighs and tush and boobs.  Does this make me a bad person, if I am a little on the heavy side?  Some people seem to think so.  That woman who posed with her kids saying"What's your excuse?"  really grates on my nerves.  Perhaps she was trying to motivate people, but not everyone wants to work out constantly.  I used to work with a woman who would eat a BITE of cookie and moan "Oh I will have to work out for two hours to get rid of the yummy treat."  She actually SAID yummy treat.  How did you KNOW it was "yummy"? You only took one bite.  The trend toward NO body fat at all is alarming. The "perfect woman" used to be 36-24-36.  That's a size nine, I believe. I wonder why some people consider a woman with those measurements to be fat? I also think you can have a bit of weight and be perfectly healthy.  I believe that fat is not the only factor in good health and general fitness.  We need to stop looking at people who are not bone thin and judging them; making assumptions about lifestyle or behavior.  We need to stop airbrushing models and celebrities on magazine covers.  We need to show that real people- men and women, have curves and shape.