So this is Christmas

 ok  I ma a bit late in my Christmas musings, but I have been busy and still struggling to get better from the wicked infection- NOT COVID- that had me at Kaiser multiple times in the last four weeks

I have been thinking, again, about Christmas in general and Christmas in America in particular.  A certain faction of Mag-nuts have declared that we have  a "war on Christmas"  and wring their tiny hands and wail about it.  So... they shuttered or burned your Churches?  No?  They imprisoned or murdered you faith leaders?   No?  They forbade you from celebrating in your homes?  No  They simply encouraged you to acknowledge that {GASP!} not everyone celebrates Christmas and to wish people "Happy Holidays"?  OH Man's inhumanity!

Get over it.

The F- your feeling crowd certainly had a lot of whining these days.  The guy who said "let's Go Brandon" to Joe Biden is crying that he is being criticized for his behavior.  Someone forgot to tell him that Freedom of Speech comes with consequences and you can SAY what you want but people  with opposing views can also say what THEY want.  It's how it works, Dude.

We have to stop making stupid people famous for doing stupid things.

I did not get to finish this in a timely manner, and I need to post a New Year's Eve blog....  Maybe coffee will help.

Random thoughts on the news

 As the song says "reading the news and it sure looks bad"

 School shootings.  I remember during the pandemic the Right was all over social media saying  "GEE there have been no school shootings and no mall shootings" as if the fact that there were no LARGE gatherings of people for these yahoos to shoot at were not the reason.  The thought it was St Donald of Grift  who was responsible.  Now there is that horrific shooting in Michigan and there were unconfirmed rumors of copycats.  Let's stop making criminals famous.  I breathlessly await Marjorie Taylor Greene's offer to this kid of a spot on her staff.  I hope he does not go to trial, just pleads guilty and is put away forever for trying to kill a bunch of people.  His folks bear some responsibility, but his mother famously posted a fawning letter to tRump, so not much hope from that corner.  I  wonder if she thinks  he will help her son post bail?

I see his "parents"  were on the run and caught in Detroit, hiding in a warehouse. I am looking for a better word than "parents"  for those monsters who created this kid and basically shaped him to be what he became.  WHO THE HELL BUYS A 14 year old a semi-auto handgun as a CHRISTMAS PRESENT?  ok, if you are into hunting ( and I know people who hunt and it's ok if you don't just kill the animal and leave it to rot after taking the trophy from its carcass)  The text from the mother are particularly telling.  "Learn not to get caught"?  The fact that they ignored this kid's cry for help just slays me.  "Nope, no problem with OUR boy.  Its all you libtards out there.  GO SECOND AMENDEMENT. " sheesh.

I hope they throw the book at them.  Ethan is guilty of murder.  Period. They gave him the gun and probably the rhetoric that shaped him into doing it.

Why do you plead the 5th if you are not guilty?  Looks like that lawyer tRump conned is ( in the infamous words od Doonsbury's Mark Slackmeyer )GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.  The truth will out.  C'mon, why are you doing this?  Even your Master said "Only the Mob takes the 5th"  yep.  Why didn't he just fall back on what tRump does in HIS depos?  "I don't recall"  "I can't remember"   and "I do not know that person"  

What are they trying to hide?  Does tRump think that his Presidential papers are his private possession and HE alone has jurisdiction over them?  That is the problem with electing someone with NO governmental experience and the hubris to believe he knows everything and does not need to learn. I pray that the courts will force his hand.   If he is not guilty of what they are investigating, why is he trying so hard to stall them?

Looking for "good" news, I am having trouble finding much.  Everything Congress needs to do to improve this country is met with outlandish resistance by the Republican Party.  It's almost as if they want us to fail.  I wonder who is lining their pockets to make that a reality.

The Defining moment of our Generation

 Every Generation has that moment, the one that takes away your innocence and shocks you forever.  For my parents, that was Pearl Harbor, my daughter, 9/11  For me it was the very public assassination of John F. Kennedy.

Like everyone old enough to remember, I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news.  I was five years old and in the back seat of my mom's green Bel Air ( the one with the wings).  When the news came on the radio, my mother pulled over to the curb at the corner of Bartee and Van Nuys and sobbed.  She kept saying "oh that young man" although Kennedy was older than both my parents.  I was on my way home from Kindergarten.  I think they closed the schools for a day or so so the nation could mourn,

On this day, as I usually do, my thoughts turn to the last survivor of his children, Caroline, who is just a bit older than me.  It must be awful, every year to have the news reflect on the murder of her father.  This year is particularly heinous, as the Mag-nuts decided that not ONLY would her father appear at Daley Plaza to announce his support of Trump for President, but her late brother John would announce his co-candidacy as Trump's running mate.

These people have skipped more than one groove here.  But they believe it wholeheartedly and I bet they are sending not-quite-candidate Trump barrels of money in support of the pairing.  The things that strike me, in no particular order, are:

• Despite persistent conspiracy theories that Jack Kennedy was kept alive and was in some secret wing of an unnamed hospital, he would be 104 years old.
• They found John and cremated his body.  There were autopsy reports.
• The Kennedy Family are DEMOCRATS and despite one or two crackpots ( I'm looking at YOU RFK , Jr) would not be in the same philosophical camp as Trump ( the Kennedy Family believes that to whom much is given, much is required, Trump has an opposite view.)
• They MUST be confusing JOHN with that not-part-of the Joe-Kennedy-line guy in Louisiana, John Neely Kennedy. HE would probably personally wet himself if Trump came calling.

On this day, I think about what our country might have been, had JFK lived.  Would we have gotten into Vietnam?  Probably.  Would the Civil Rights movement have moved faster?  We took his quest to get us to the moon seriously, but what about the rest of his plans.  Can we ever know them?

On this day, I will ponder this:

“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.”

May it be so.

Drought of words

 I still have not been writing much, although I have a lot on my mind, when I actually sit at the keyboard, I am too numb to put words together in a cohesive way.  Grief and stress have a way of combining that paralyze the soul.

I talked with my doctor- a very kind and very smart man who has brought me back from the brink with my asthma, whose name is Dr. Hu , which is pronounced "Who"  Ok  I'm a geek but I get a kick out of that.  He agreed that stress can be a huge trigger.  Chris said I need two weeks at the beach, with nothing on my mind but the waves and maybe a good book.  Not gonna happen anytime soon, but it is something to think about.  I am planning for retirement, knee surgery and a trip to England and MAYBE Germany.  These are my dreams and darn it I am keeping my eye on them.  Hope springs eternal.

I have been watching the Kyle Rittenhouse news.  He's gonna skate.  It's a travesty of justice, but he will.  The judge is so sympathetic to the "poor kid"  Let me say this, he went there looking to hunt people and was surprise when his prey fought back.  Now he is playing the "protecting himself" card.  If he hadn't crossed state lines, armed with a firearm meant for hunting humans, he would not have had the need to "defend himself"  It wasn't like he was protecting his family farm or his grandmas store.  He thought he could get into a real life "Call of Duty"  and when he did, he found himself in over his head.  If the situation was so dangerous there, why were the only people who were shot, shot by Kyle?  Even the COPS didn't shoot anyone.  He killed two people, one of whom was trying to stop him from killing anyone else.  I have zero sympathy for him, but he will become a Far Right Hero and be paraded around by them like the prize pig at the County Fair, until he becomes a liability.  Enjoy your Momma's basement Kyle.  That is where you will wind up, although prison should be in your future and would be if you weren't  white.  If you had been a Black teen, there would not have been a trial at all, the cops would have shot you when they saw you with the weapon.

Did you see TFG ( the Former Guy) "sent his ambassador" to Serbia?  The guy went?  Geez.  Other countries are laughing at him.  His dementia has reached dangerous heights.  every day, he and his minion perform acts of treason.  They all need to be locked up.

I see slimy scuzzy dirtball Steve Bannon was arrested.  Too bad he was released pending his trial.  In his photos he always looks like he's been drinking all night and sleeping in his clothes for a week.  He needs a delousing and a bath.  Executive privilege, My Aunt Fanny.  I will say this again, there are no matters of National Security contained in the information regarding the attempt by Trump and his allies to overthrow the Government.  Except that all of them will be rightly tossed in jail when when everything comes to light.

I guess I had more to say than I thought.  I need to get my head into the work game this morning.  I will be working from home until I retire, apparently.  Chris bought me a new smaller chair which makes me feel les claustrophobic in the tiny corner of my kitchen.  I retire next June.

politics, politics , politics

 I have not been writing much, if you noticed.   Chris and I are still reeling from the sudden loss of his mother on October 7.  Anna was a wonderful woman.  I always called her my "bonus"  I married Chris and got Anna as my mom.  My own mother died of Alzheimer's in 2004.  I think if my mother had lived, Anna and my mom would have been as thick as thieves.  Anna's sudden passing has us grieving and scrambling to get her affairs in order.  It is something of a mess.  If you are reading this, please send up a prayer that we get it all resolved with a minimum of trouble.  it's complicated, but thankfully there are no family squabbles going on.  We are all on the same page with this.  It WILL be ok ( positive affirmations!!!)

I am SICK to death of the childish behavior of the Republican Party. They want to block everything and prevent people from voting to promote The Big Lie.  Sad that people believe it with NO evidence, just the constant repetition of it  Joseph Goebbels was right.  If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.

The whole "Let's Go Brandon" thing is just.... sad.  Poor Brandon Brown has a promising career ahead of him , now he has been dragged into the stupidity of some people in the Republican Party.  I saw ( but did not read) that NASCAR is doing something about it.  Keep on Keeping on Brandon. I am not a NASCAR fan, but seriously people....

I saw the gathering in Dallas, waiting for JFK and JFK Jr. to  appear and declare Trump the winner and announce that John would be his running mate for 2024  May I state the obvious?

1. John F Kennedy died in 1963 He is not being kept alive in some secret location and he has not had a miraculous recovery from being shot in the head
2. John Jr died in 1999. See above remarks- his plane nose-dived into the ocean.  No one survived the crash. they found his body and he was cremated and buried at sea. not coming back, no.
3. the Kennedys are DEMOCRATS- maybe the Right is confused with that Representative from Louisiana, John Neely Kennedy.  He would probably be glad to be on the ticket with Trump, so maybe those Trump/Kennedy banners can be reused .

The insurrectionists are getting sentenced to prison, but I think they are getting off cheap.  I think they should ALL be forced to be deprogrammed.  Maybe that group that Pence supports to "deprogram " gays might be repurposed to assist people who swallowed the Trump Kool-Aid.  

Speaking of Pence, what do you think HIS political chances are now   ( Snowball in Hell?)

The Infrastructure Bill is on Joe's desk awaiting his signature.  Wanna bet he doesn't use a freaking Sharpie to sign it?  I wonder if he will have a media event surrounding it, or just sign it and move on.  There is a lot on Joe's plate. 

Worst President ever?  Keep believing that.

I know a lot of Right-wingers who are blaming Joe for everything, obviously they are not economists but here was the good news:

• Employment numbers are up.

• Medical science has developed a pill that is over 90% effective in treating the Covid 19 virus in infected people.

• The January 6 Commission is issuing subpoenas right and left (lol) and some of Trump's inner circle are giving up the goods.  

I have to ask, why is Trump fighting so hard to keep his information from that day and days leading up to it a big ol' secret?  Innocent people would want all the truth in the light of day.  I highly doubt there are questions of National Security, ( aka secrets from the Ruskies) that are contained within.  and WHY didn't the Secret Service put Trump in a secure location?  He was partying it up in the Oval Office when it was all going down.  I wonder how long it will take for a staff member who took videos to release it to save their own skin?

Time will tell.

darn Amazon

 I am in a group that reads and writes reviews for new books, called Hidden Gems.  Recently I wrote a review for a book called "Entitled" ; a sweet story about the inner thoughts of a book while  she travels, searching for her  Reader and her Forever home.  Apparently, the algorithms on Amazon do NOT approve of the word "sucked" in a review, even though it was used in a positive way ( I wrote that I got "sucked into the story)  Amazon dinged me and refused to print my review without a re-write.   I rewrote this:

"I received and e-copy of this book to review and I must admit I thought that a book about a book would be too weird.  I found myself taken in by "Serendipity of Snow"  or "Serendipity"  as she travels from hand to hand in search of her Reader and her forever home.  She has a few adventures, meets interesting people and Books along the journey.

I'm gonna have a hard time tossing worn out paperbacks in the recycling bin now."

Still Amazon is picking over ever letter and not publishing my review.  Maybe the word "weird" will also induce pearl-clutching in some book loving circles and I will be cast into the pit of remainders.  Seriously.  I got a long finger wagging e-mail from Amazon with their "policy.  It was a head scratcher and I could only surmise that since "sucked" has both negative and sexual connotations, the Thought Police at Amazon freaked out.    Last night when I tried to post THIS rant on Facebook, it too freaked out and ate my wonderful scathing rant.  I smell a conspiracy here.

In any case, I am hopeful the new review gets posted.  The book is a first time author and it was sweet.  Based on the book I think she is working on another one- probably not about a book, while it was clever, I don't see a series in this vein.

Draft poem

 My doctor says

that dreams

are what's bothering me

rising to the surface

What, then 

are nightmares

When seemingly sweet characters

appear in my movie-style dreams

and become monsters

I cannot change back

I'm tired, boss

 

The line from the film "the Green Mile" was in my head this morning.

I should be writing, I tell myself every morning, but when I sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard I just can't.

I'm tired.  More than tired, I am bone weary.

The news these days sucks the life out of me.  It's harder and harder to read or watch it without feeling ill.

There has always been a schism between the political parties, but WHEN did it get like this?   ANYTHING the Democrats want is evil and we are on the rocky road to "Gasp"  Socialism!  News flash, a lot of the programs out there ARE socialism. but the seem to work. 

If Joe Biden said we all need to breathe at the proper intervals to sustain life ( as my Coach used to say)  then Mitch McConnell would DEMAND that all GOOD Republicans hold their breath.  When did the Republican Party start being a cult?  During the Reagan Era, I suppose but it got worse when the mass of them were conned by the professional Con man they put in the White House.  Follow the money.  Who got richer?  

What is up with the debt ceiling?  Not doing to pass it, close down the Government?  I think the Republican Party wants to privatize it and put money in certain pockets when they do.  They are so far from Lincoln's Government  "of the people, by the people, for the people"  it's not even a good meme.

When did the welfare of the average American become currency?   Why is it so hard to pass an infrastructure bill that will help all of us.  Passing the Trump tax cut was easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy for them but this is.. WAR.

Don't get me started on how they have convinced their followers- WITHOUT A SHRED OF EVIDENCE that there is MASSIVE voter fraud and we need to have a whole bunch of new laws to prevent what never happened from happening again.  No proof, but a whole bunch of people believe it.  It proves that Joseph Goebbels was right, if you repeat a lie often enough , it becomes the "truth".

Still we hold on and fight on, for voters rights for women's reproductive rights, to keep a small minority who cite religion as the reason for law ( RELIGION my Aunt Fanny, their only god is MONEY!)Most of these laws are written to keep them in power over women and people of color.  They are, I think, in for a rude awakening.

 

It's bugging me

 Gift  Noun "A thing willingly given to someone without payment; A present"

Gift can also be used as verb, if you say "gifted" but for the purpose of THIS rant, I am referring to the Noun.

Recently, because of the pandemic, I have been purchasing things online.  Invariably, I get an email screaming "FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE"   Just WHAT TYPE of gift is NOT free, I ask you?  By the nature of the word and the meaning ANY gift is free- except, these gifts are not free.  You need to pay Shipping and handling and I have discovered that  half the time, it is some piece of junk I do not need.

The use of the word "myself" instead of  "me"

I was taught, and although I also make grammatical errors from time to time, that the word "myself" is a reflexive pronoun, meaning it does not stand alone or in place of another pronoun.  I listened to a person drone on and on the other day, a person who has- in theory- an advanced degree and he said "send that to myself" at least TWICE in his presentation.  Ugh.  I am glad it was Zoom and I had my mask on, maybe my camera was off, because my eyes certainly rolled.  Bugs the crap out of me.  My mother made sure I spoke correctly and for the most part I do.  The I or me parts of speech were a particular bugaboo and remain so.

Recall election

Well, my state, California, was just forced by outside money from the Rethuglican Party ( a faction of the quickly disappearing Republican Party) to hold a 300 MILLION dollar exercise in futility in trying to recall Gavin Newsome.  Is he the BEST governor ever?  No.  But there is an election next year and if they wanted to replace him, they should start now, start putting forward real options, not some version of Trump that is supposed to appeal to people of color ( please don't pander, it doesn't work that way)  Larry Elder is a talk show host on a conservative radio program.  He is also an idiot.  They "Sold " him as being anti-mask, anti- quarantine, and anti -vax and the Trump base ate it up with both hands. NO ONE seemed to notice that he was anti-equal pay, anti-minimum wage and had no practical understanding about how government actually works.  I know there is a movement to elect "outsiders"  But frankly after we were stuck with an "outsider" who desperately wanted to be an "insider" , I  am not sure that is the best course of action.  California needs to take a hard look at the recall process.  It allows a small faction to force everyone through hoops we should not have to go through unless there is GROSS malfeasance,  not just a small group of unhappy campers.  The landslide NO vote showed the cracks in that system.

 By venting, I feel better.  There's probably more, but this  will do.

twenty years gone.

 

We say grief shared is grief relived.  Maybe it is grief released, I do not know.   As we look back on this morning, twenty years ago, we still mourn the loss.  We mourn the loss of life and the loss of innocence. Each generation has an event that defines that loss of innocence.  For my parents’ generation, it was Pearl Harbor, for mine, it was the assassination of JFK.  For my daughter, it is 9/11.  These acts of terrible violence shake us and shape us as we move forward.

Each of us remembers where we were and what we were doing when the planes hit the towers.  

I woke up to it. Kate was watching the news and told me, I thought she must be watching a movie, it was six a.m.  I was groggy.  I took my daughter to school. I will never forget the police officer on the corner of Fletcher and Riverside, asking me if I had heard and telling me to stay safe from the window of her cruiser. I was closing and moving Sherman Oaks Library, when I got a call from my then-husband telling me that they were closing the transportation corridors. There would be no way for my daughter to get home from downtown LA. My crew chief told me "go get the baby" (even though she was 14) The school at first refused, but I insisted and took her back to the job- probably illegal but this was an emergency. I sent my crew home and went to the second location for the day, when the boss told me just to go home.  We followed the news reports for days in shock.  I remember getting messages in a chat room from friends on the East Coast, asking us to call their family to tell them they were ok.  Someone did. and it bonded us further- we were all a group of fans of a band and were pretty friendly to begin with.  Yesterday, my daughter called me to tell me that my grandson was studying this in his history book. We are witnesses to history.

Today, let us each take a moment to honor our dead, murdered for no reason but perceived political gain.  Let us remember the courage of the Crew and passengers on Flight 93.  The sacrifice of the New York City Fire Department and the NYPD.  

Remember too, that feeling of compassion that you felt for your fellow human; how you looked after your neighbor, how you asked random people if they were alright.  It takes a crisis to bring our humanity to the surface, We soon forget it and "roll back to original programming"   but today, try to remember that feeling.

 

Summer's almost gone

 I woke up this morning with Jim Morrison's voice in my head.  That particular song was one that resonated this morning  Here's the link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZQWr7cF0eY

As a kid, I loved his voice, and as an adult I still do.  He didn't have a lot of range but his delivery was .. wow.  

This song was one I was thinking about this morning.  "When Summer's  gone, where will we be?"  As a kid  Summer meant FUN (as the Beach Boys sang)   Waking up when you woke up, not for school.  Going swimming in the local pool or going to the beach.  At night, when I was in High School, hanging out with friends, sitting in the hills talking and laughing.  Nights seemed, in my memory, always warm and full of promise.  Summer was like that too;  Full of adventure.

Now Summer is just a hot day.  We run the AC and worry about the power bill.  We have been cooped up due to the pandemic, but things are easing here in California,  I have seen Midsummer night's dream- TWICE, gone to the Pageant of the Masters and seen Hamilton.  I have missed the arts.  I flew to Vegas to spend time with my grandkids, which is a story for another day, but my walker "Wheels" had QUITE an adventure.

While I remain hopeful for the future, I am , lately , woolgathering about Summers gone.   

All the News that fits

 Wasn't that the "tag line" for Rolling Stone Magazine?  I stopped reading them in the late 1980s'   I gave up my subscription when I had my daughter.  They had become less relevant to my daily life and I subscribed to Parents  and other child-friendly magazines, although I DID subscribe to "George" ( remember THAT, I found it well written and entertaining.  I was sorry when it folded)   I currently receive Newsletters from my Union, which I scan, AARP magazines and Westways.  I just renewed Vanity Fair and I have a pile of Smithsonian Magazines that I keep "meaning to read" but am way behind.   I was thinking this morning about taking a day off, shutting myself in my bedroom and just reading and napping.  AHH sounds good.  It won't HAPPEN mind you, but it's a goal.

I was thinking about two news events this week.  I am not watching the Olympics, which is unusual for me, but the time difference and the huge amount of work I have these days has made it impossible.  we see the results on social media and NBC is doing a piss-poor job of coverage, the usual single minded American-centric reporting, and while I AGREE we need to support our athletes, when we are not in contention, they SHOULD show some of the other Gold medal competitions.   After all the symbol is FIVE interlocked rings, not one ring to rule them all.

I applaud the courage of Simone Biles, who was able to place her own health above the  "need" of people who demanded she perform for them.   If she had a broken arm or a broken leg, would we be yelling that she should "suck it up " ( Remember Keri Strug, who was forced by her coach to perform in pain?   She was hailed as 'courageous" when in fact, she was just a scared teenager who was pressured by someone who was a bully who needed HER victory to enhance HIS status.  He was and is a pig)  The stigma of issues with mental health are still there and we do not seem to accept that is is the same as any other health condition and not a weakness.  My own medical provider is guilty of this.  When I get a message, reminding me of my appointment, They leave out the name of the doctor of what office she is with.  THEY are perpetuating the stereotype that caring for your mental well-being is somehow shameful and needs to be hidden. It shouldn't.  I applaud Biles and Naomi Osaka for their openness regarding their mental health and the fact that they are doing something to heal.  Both young women are wonderful role models.

I was looking at the Senate today and wondering if the sudden push by the Republican Party to pass the infrastructure bill is meant to take the focus of the January 6 commission.  We ALL saw what happened, if we were watching the news.  The fact that the Former guy says they were "hugging and kissing the police is a travesty.  If he thinks what went on was "hugging and kissing, that goes a LONG way to explaining why he is divorced. Twice.   I am looking forward to the testimony of others.  I was crying when I heard the police officers and ashamed to hear the Rethuglican branch of their party call them "crisis actors"  They are POLICE OFFICES  Please do not wave your "back the Badge" banner in my face, if THIS is how you act when they are not doing what you want them to do. And whatever is in the Kool-aid that they serve at those committee meetings that makes every Republican forget how they were cowering  in fear in a secret hold somewhere in the building while Trump's Tourists hunted for them in the halls must be some powerful stuff.  Mike Pence is the worst.  They would have HUNG him if they had gotten hold of him, but there he is, licking Trump's boots.

I am heartened by Adam Kinzinger.  He put Country before Party.  It may be the end of his career, IF the current Republican Ruling class has it's way. Although I do not agree with most of their platform- WHEN THEY HAVE ONE ( they currently only have slogans and advertising) I believe we need both sides of the coin to have an effective government.  The current Republican Party is being run by the Mean Kids from your Junior High School.

Thursday musings

I am not going to bore everyone with daily reports of my progress toward getting healthy   There is NOTHING worse than a convert to anything, as my Dad used to say; and while I don't consider myself a "convert" in any way, shape or form, I am on this journey to get better.  I am not really denying myself stuff- life is far to short to do that and I didn't sign up to be a Monk.  I am making better choices and decisions about my day to day doings.

I am about to get on the bike.  The new scale arrived yesterday, so it is my baseline, BUT I have lost four pounds from my last dr visit.  I didn't gain it all at once, so I am not going to lose it all at once.  Slow and steady wins the race.

I saw in the news The Former Guy "plans" to sue Facebook, Twitter and Youtube.   Yeah He PLANS it.  Want to bet he thinks he can settle out of court?  I think the "discovery" portion of the trial , the documentation as to WHY he was banned is going to be fascinating.  One of his minders needs to tell him the truth.  Can you imagine what they might be able to prove in court to provide backup for his banning? 

I think he is so used to suing small companies and having them settle that he doesn't realize they have  more money than he does and more lawyers as well.  It's going to be interesting if the courts even let him proceed with his claim.

I subscribe to the brilliant Heather Cox Richardson's blog "Letters from an American"   She has quite an extensive knowledge of history and politics and she lays it on the line.  On July 5, she said something that resonated

Biden recalled that the United States of America was based not on religion or hereditary monarchy, but on an idea: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all people are created equal, endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights—among them life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” We have never lived up to that ideal, of course, but we have never abandoned it, either. Those principles, he said, “continue to animate us, and they remind us what, at our best, we as Americans believe: We, Americans—we believe in honesty and decency, in treating everyone with dignity and respect, giving everyone a fair shot, demonizing no one, giving hate no safe harbor, and leaving no one behind.”

I love the quote that we have never lived up to, but never abandoned the ideal that we are all created equal.  Yes, I know  and acknowledge we have a long way to go before that is true, but we have to hope and strive for it.  Probably not in my lifetime, but maybe in my grandkids time.  

Remaining hopeful and working toward a goal, whether it is racial equality or losing a few pounds is something  on my mind this morning.

Morning and I have a fuzzy brain

 For once, I was "sleeping good" as my Dad used to say, when the alarm went off.  I am trying to get up earlier, to work on my stationary bike and collect my thoughts.  I have to lose about 10% of my weight before they can do the knee surgery and I am woefully out of shape.  I blame pandemic laziness.  If I were still working in an office, I would be walking more, which frankly is the best exercise for someone with my health issues.  Alas not, and for a long time, I did not really venture out of the apartment.  So now, I am paying for it.  

We bought a new scale.  The old one was depressing me, until we realized it was massively inaccurate.  You could get on it and get off and step back on and have gained five pounds.  To be honest, it's not a people scale and I think it was not able to adjust to movement.  It's probably fine for its original purpose, weighing packages.  The new scale arrives today and I start over with "weigh-ins"  

UGH.

Like most women I have a lifelong dread of weighing in and as I have gotten older have avoided doing so- which is probably why I weigh as much as I do.  Denial is not just a river in Egypt.  Still the workout regimen I have for myself is challenging but not killing me.  I think I am losing weight, Chris thinks I am losing weight ( and he would be able to tell more than I would) but we will see when the new scale arrives.   I am going about 5K a day at least on my stationary bike and trying to make 10,000 steps a day all told.  As I am still at home, that is an issue, but we walked yesterday, my "bad" knee screaming in pain.  I think it will get better as I train those muscles as well.

Chris signed up for "Noom" and he is using the program.  I am just cooking the program and following his diet.  Is that cheating?  Should I be paying for the Noom advice?  I don't think so since I don't use the service and am just doing the cooking and shopping for the family.  I could be wrong.

I've gotta jump on the bike.  I read my Kindle while I am biking, more motion than sweat at this point although I keep a steady pace.  I have to work today. Wearing myself out before the day begins would not be my best idea.

leaving Las Vegas

 I am happy to be going home.  Usually at the end of a trip I am not wanting to go, wanting one more day, and although I will be going back to the grind of work, I am not sad to be leaving the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino.  Not a fan.

They never resolved the "no internet" thing and while they credited us yesterday- and I will be talking to them about it again today- I really think they don't WANT you to have internet, so you will go gamble.  which we did to little success.

I felt sorry for the newbie at the hotel Help Desk.    He told us they would call us in 24 hours to resolve the problem.  Good for the NEXT guest, but sucks for US.  Thank goodness for mobile hotspots.

The food here is terrible, except for Ri Ra where we had a amazing meal.All the "menus'" are on a QR code on the tables and sometimes the menus don't load.  Did I mention the problems with the internet in this place?  The cook at the Seabreeze Cafe really knows his way around a microwave. I suspect, but cannot confirm that he also nuked the toast.  I am thankful that I did not indulge in Room Service Breakfast, which was 10 bucks more per plate PLUS the delivery fee.  $18 bucks for a Denny's style meal was bad enough, but $28 would have made me really, really angry

We took the tram over to the Excalibur for dinner and had a fun meal at the Vagabond, which is a bar that serves food.  Decent food. Chris loved  nachos and I kind of enjoyed my pulled pork, except I hit a huge bite of pepper at the first try and thought I was going to stop breathing.  Our waitress Renee was quite cheerful and she made it a nice night.

Don't go to Hazel's COFFEE and Cocktails after 6 looking for coffee.  They only have whatever weak coffee they serve everywhere in this hotel AND give you attitude when you ask for it anything else.  It should be advertised somewhere on their menu  WE DON'T SERVE COFFEE AT NIGHT or something

I wanted a decent cuppa.

EVERY FREAKING STARBUCKS IN THE PLACE WAS CLOSED.

The Gelato place makes coffee. HALLA-Freaking-lulah!

We never got to the pool. When we went to the Shark Reef Adventure we could see the pool was PACKED ( my dad had an expression "elbow to asshole" which seems appropriate"  I am NOT into crowds)

It was semi amusing, watching entitled people march up to the entrance of Shark Reef , only to be told it was sold out.  We bought tickets early in the day as I recall this is why we didn't go last time.  It sells out quickly.  One woman INSISTED that the women directing customers CHECK to make SURE there were no tickets and tapped her shoe at them until they did.  There were no tickets to be had.   The exhibit was nice, but crowded and since we are both on scooters navigation around people got tricky- people were nice but it was sometimes a tight squeeze.

The people in the room next to us were partying with the people directly across the hall from them till around 11. The doors banged constantly.  I thought I was stuck in French farce film.  It started up again to a lesser degree around 2 am.

Don't get me wrong, the people who work here ( except for the bartender at Hazels') have been super nice. The place is mismanaged, probably by someone who got their degree from the Former's Guy's  "University".It  seems to be the same business model.  We won't  be back here.

 

Los Wage? Sin City? road trip

 Chris decided I needed a vacation so we made plans to get away.  USUALLY  that means Laughlin, but no rooms were available so we decided to try Vegas.  I must admit, I really don't like Vegas all that much, too noisy, too busy, too Vegas-y  but we had free rooms at Bally's.  HAD Operative word in that sentence.  They screwed up the dates and we couldn't get the freebie.  We play a game called MyVegas that gives you free rooms and shows, even if it is  little restrictive- you have to stay three night to get some of the comps. We opted for Mandalay Bay.

The adventure began when the GPS said there was an accident on the 210 and rerouted us.  Through the Angeles National Forrest. I don't remember ever going that far through the forrest and while it was interesting, it was harder on Chris who was driving the twisty winding roads.

Since we each bought a room, we wanted to make sure that the reservations could be joined and we would have the same room both nights. tired for FOUR DAYS to get someone to answer the phone. Nope.  We got here, having packed super light in case we had to move. The person at the desk corrected the issue and we are in the same room.  Service in this hotel is spotty at best, the people when you can get them are perfectly lovely and it is not their fault their management is crummy. There is NO internet WIFI connection and no way except for Chris' Hotspot connection.  we are paying for it but it's not here.

We did have a lovely meal at RiRa an Irish pub  in the hotel.  Our waitress Sinead was lovely and recommend an excellent moderately priced whiskey. The food was very good!  It made me happy.

We are off today to another adventure. I made the mistake of MOVING a coffee cup and was charged ten bucks for the error.  It was two cups of horrible coffee, to borrow my friend Ruth's phrase you could read through it.  Hot bean juice with powdered creamer and a ton of sugar.  bleh  I hope for better as we venture out for breakfast this morning.

June 23

 I woke up thinking about my mom today , for obvious reasons.  I was thinking about how scared she must have been, on this day in 1958, delivering a six weeks premature infant, alone .  She was in the hospital , but by herself as a neighbor she barely knew drove her in the middle of the night from the Valley to Kaiser Sunset. My Dad was at work and WHY she didn't call him is part of her character, I think she didn't want to disturb him at work. Back then, men didn't go into the delivery room anyway.  The next morning, the doctors came in and demanded to know why she had delivered me so early.  She snapped "you are the doctors!"   Who knows why.  I contend I was hungry.  I never really liked confined spaces, so maybe THAT'S it! She was convinced I would be ( pardon this word) "retarded" and would need to go to an institution for care ( it was common in the 50's to place special needs kids in they system, essentially warehousing them)  While I proved her wrong, the jury is still out on my sanity.

Every year on my birthday, I pause to reflect on the year that was and turn my thoughts to what I hope will happen in the coming year.   2020 was a complete washout, but I did learn something about myself, created a few new "pandemic dishes" that will remain in the recipe file.  I refuse to mourn what did not happen, and plan for it to happen THIS year.  

I count my blessings.  I learn from the good things and the not so good things.  I find my strength and my voice. I work on my craft and my art.  I recently re-read a quote from Kurt Vonnegut, an author I have read but not been wowed by.  He said "I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”   It gave me pause and comfort that while I may not have the skill or talent some of my friends do, I am looking at the experiences as part of my journey.  When I travel, I remember that the trip is part of the experience, not just the destination.  

James Taylor said that best "the secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"  This year, as I begin what will be my 64th trip around the sun ( I am 63 today so...)  I will try .

Tuesday

 Tomorrow is my 63rd birthday and I am pausing to reflect on things.  I am going to work- something I don't like doing, working on my birthday but I am expecting surgery sometime this year and I am saving all my vacation and PTO for that time.  I have about two weeks of sick time saved, I think, so it will be ok.  I think I will be off about three weeks, then I can start to work from home.  I can't drive for about two months.  I am having my right knee replaced IF I can lose 20 pounds in six weeks.  I am eating less and exercising more.  I have a stationary bike and I am on it daily- mostly- and am doing between 1-2 miles on it.  I feel stronger, but maybe that's the steroid shot the surgeon gave me.  It is helpful to have less pain, let me tell you!  Chris is taking me away on a small trip this weekend to help me feel better.

I read in the AARP magazine that one of the reasons people can't lose weight is lack of sleep.  I don't sleep well these days.  My doctor told me to take a lot more Tylenol than I have been taking for pain, but I don't know. The LAST time a doctor told me to take regular pain med, aspirin, I wound up sicker than a dog from it.  I was so spaced out I didn't know my own name.  Fun times.  Still two at  night SHOULD help me sleep, if I stop having asthma attacks during the night,   Stress, I suspect is the culprit here.  The trip away should help a bit, and some of the things that are causing the stress should ease soon, but sheesh,  

What do you do to lose weight?

Now that we can actually get out of the house it might be easier. I still mask up, but the mask sometimes triggers an asthma event and THAT is a lot of fun in public.  Having the mask on, I can hide the inhalers but it is not fun.  I want to go to the beach,  I want to splash in the water.  Walking on the sand might prove too challenging but I think I would like to try it.  Maybe in a few weeks.  This weekend is no where near the water.  Water is my happy place, it gives me peace. 

I am thinking about politics and the "for the People" act and wondering why the Republicans in Congress are SO dead set against it.  Probably being paid buy people who don't want democracy or know that their policies are not popular with  everyone, so they are trying to limit access to those who support them.  Call your representative to support the measure.  Tell them you will help elect their opponent!

I am going to try to make my "Summer" doorhanger this evening. I have been making them and the Spring one needs to come down.  I hope to have the energy and the creativity to do it.  They are not anything  that anyone would want to buy, but I find the creative process to be fun.  Like writing, it takes effort and I need to find the little spark to do this this evening.  We need to catch up on Loki this evening as well.  I love how Tom Hiddleston plays that character. He keeps you on your toes.

Politics - always on my mind

 I have been a political animal since I was about 8 or 9.  The murder of MLK and RFK happened when I was a kid and the Vietnam War raged.  I struggled then and I still struggle with, man's inhumanity to man and the need to own everything to the detriment of life on this planet.  I realize that ideology has a lot to do with it, and the belief that one group of people are somehow superior to another because of skin color or faith. 

I cannot understand the Republican Party's need to suppress votes in order to "win" an election.  Hey!  Why not put forward a solid platform of ideas and goals, not the current method, which looks like it was created by PeeWee Hermann ( I know you are but what am I?)  I may not have agreed with the plans the Republicans had, back in the late 60's and early 70's, but at least you knew where they stood.  Now it's all a Cult of Personality ( if Trump HAS a personality, he's a slimebucket in my opinion and the fact that some hold him up as god-like makes me physically ill)  Running a Country is different than being Prom King.  You should have a real plan.  Trump spent his time playing "you'll see, I have the BEST plan" without ever saying what it was. I suspect he didn't have one, save to line his pockets.  People believed that the Democrats would make us a "socialist country" without understanding that Democratic socialism is not communism.

I think Putin's reaction to Joe Biden is telling, but Putin is the Slimebucket of all Slimebuckets and while I think Joe Biden knows this, He needs to remain on guard as far as Russia is concerned.  We have come back into the light, our President does not kowtow to dictators and I have hope once again.

Joe Manchin is about to discover that there is no such thing as bipartisanship as long as Trump and Yertle McConnell have sway in the Republican Party.  I hope, after presenting his plan to amend the "For The People" act to get them on board, he will give up and just vote.  we need to get rid of the filibuster too.  I know it might bite the Democrats but really, didn't we elect senators to enact the will of the PEOPLE, not their Corporate Masters?   

Still, I have hope.  Juneteenth is a National holiday- and redneck heads exploded all over the South.  Student loan forgiveness will help jumpstart the economy; it's a proven fact that when middle income people have money they spend it.  Not having that huge debt over their heads will free them up to actually have a life, buy a house, have children.  The Rich - who probably don't HAVE student debt- only put their money in the bank.

Off topic.  I went to my doctor to discuss surgery.  I need to lose 20-25 pounds.  I freely admit I did NOT exercise during the pandemic, but am biking on the stationary bike and eating what I want but about half of it.   Wish me luck, I have until August 4!

Power words

 Do you have a "go to" word?  When you are facing an obstacle is there a word or a phrase that motivates you?  Mine is "rise"  I know it seems weird, but that word let's me know I can do whatever it it that I need to do ( I know most of you thought my word was "coffee" or "Chocolate" but those are a different motivator altogether)

Lately, I have been struggling with a situation- not related to my family.  I have spoken with colleagues and I have to tell you, I am most fortunate in the people I can call my friends.  A lot of them are facing the same challenge and my conversations with them, while not solving the problem, which frankly seems unsolvable, made me feel less like I was alone.  I need to find a way to work around the situation, because there is no changing it.

So I rise.  I put on my big girl panties and soldier on  ( how's THAT for a mixed metaphor?)  I don't cry in public.  When the situation is in my face, I will try to remember the words of my friends who are in a similar situation.   

I saw my surgeon yesterday.  I need to lose 25 pounds before they will do the surgery.  I have six weeks.  Wish me luck.  I don't need a special "diet"  what works for me it to eat what I want, but half of it.  If I deny myself anything it will be the ONLY thing I want and then I will overeat it.  I know myself.  That and exercise, which I must admit I have neglected.  So far I am biking a mile on the stationary bike. It went easier than expected so I may bump it up to 2.  Again, wish me luck.  

Rise up
When you're living on your knees, you rise up
Tell your brother that he's gotta rise up
Tell your sister that she's gotta rise up

Tuesday and I am writing

 I see that Joe and Jill were in Cornwall and I am super jealous.  I was GOING to Cornwall, where my family lives until the pandemic.  WAAAAHHHH   Also in a weird "six degrees" the young lady chosen to sing at one of the events is a dear friend of one of my extended cousins ( I am not clear on the "once removed" or "second and third" so Cousin it is!)   It was so NICE to see everyone smiling- and no pouting orange menace sitting there with his arms across his chest like a teenager dragged to an AA meeting  I am hopeful for the state of the world again.

Did you se that moron Marjorie Taylor Greene made a half-baked apology about saying masks were like the Holocaust.  Turns out they don't teach the Holocaust in Trump Elementary or wherever the hell she went to school.  It is my hope the people of her region do NOT reelect her; she was the only one running and still didn't get 100% of the vote, so there IS hope.

Can we just drag Bill Barr and HIS minions into court for white collar crimes?  He must have thought no one would catch up to what he was doing- illegally going after anyone who publically opposed his Master and trying to get anything on them.  Did he wire tap  Adam Schiff's KID?   that's the inference.  Geez I won't ask "how low can you go?"  I think we are just on the surface.  If you are ok with that, being so afraid of the truth  coming out you go after your "enemies" then you have no place in politics.  Go back to bankrupting universities and casinos.  I remember being shocked that Nixon had an "enemies' list.  Nixon got out and made a deal.  trump thinks he is immune and I fear that there ARE two legal systems; one for the rich and one for  the rest of us.  He needs to be held accountable.  Period.

Better jump off or I am going to be late for work.  I am going downtown at least once a week, possibly more based on need and workload.  Frankly, I am tired of working in my 2 x 2 workspace in my tiny apartment.  I need a change of scenery.

and Blog, blog blog

 I saw the Former Guy shut down his blog.  Apparently, it did NOT take the literary world by storm- he couldn't get people to READ the darn thing, let alone PAY for the privilege.    Remember, your fan base thinks you are rich beyond the dreams of avarice, so you don't really NEED the money to run again, do you?  Move a few couch cushions and PRESTO several million dollars.

Perhaps a meandering rant about things every day was not quite as entertaining as people had hoped.  Perhaps it showed them a peek into your worm infested brain and it wasn't the thing that made them say "oh YES we must have him leading the Nation again"  Maybe his Minders realized he was about to give away the plot for the next Coup attempt- although with half the Proud Boys and Oath Keepers in the Federal pokey, I wonder who will storm the Capitol this time?  Maybe his 30-day free trial expired and he didn't want to pay the fee for the snazzy blog page his people designed for him.

Maybe writing something with more than 280 characters was too taxing on him.

We can laugh at him, but it's people like Michael Flynn and his ilk that should scare us.  He WANTS a dictatorship and would probably get help from countries who would benefit from our demise.  There are people in this Country who THINK they are "patriots" when they are really "patsys" for people who do NOT have their best interests at heart.

People have been slamming Joe Biden for not bringing forth a miracle in his four plus months in office.  Do I wish he had been able to do more?  Yes, but The Republicans in the Senate are Hell-bent on preventing any progress.  This is they way they "win"  they can point to their "success" in stopping anything from happening as proof of the ineffectiveness of the current President.  The Democrats have to play the same game, then.  Enough  nice bi-partisan efforts.  They have the majority and should just ram it home as much as possible.  Any Congressperson who doesn't show up to vote- without a darn good reason- should be removed from office.  We elected them to represent US- not the corporations they kowtow to or the special interest groups.  It's time the American people held our representatives accountable for their behavior at their jobs.  If I behaved that way, I would have been sacked a long time ago.

Marjorie Taylor Greene should be held for a 24-hour psych eval. I hope the people of her state hold her accountable .  I would elect a ham sandwich over that nutjob.

Still, writing an honest blog that is thought provoking can be tricky.  I subscribe to Dan Rather's "Steady" and Heather Cox Richardson's "Letters from an American"  Both are well written, and make you think or teach you something of our shared history.  If you are not reading them, I recommend you take a look at both of these fine writers.

It shows the blog format is not done, if done correctly.

angels and other Monday musing

 I am heading in to work this morning.  I am listening to the podcast of conversations between Bruce Springsteen and Barrack Obama.  Interesting and somewhat uncomfortable, as they confront racism in this country.  They each share stories of growing up, Bruce came of age in the turbulent '60's and though I an a we bit younger than he is, I remember that time   It's sad when we need to do it AGAIN, because apparently, there are a LOT of people who didn't get the memo.  The conversation is making me think as I squirm a bit, confronting what it means to be a person of color in this country.  Can I ever REALLY understand it?  well, no. But I can listen and I can learn.  

A few days ago I was in a conversation about empaths and empathy.  The people in the room agreed that all of us have some measure of being an empath ( I STRONGLY disagree, as I can think of at least ONE or two people who don't give a rat's patoot about anyone but themselves)  The conversation turned to angels and one person stated that people become angels when they die and that people are angels.  Everyone in the conversation nodded.  I just kept my mouth shut.  It is MY opinion that angels are a different kettle of fish, that people might become spirit guides, but angels?  No.  I really hate when someone posts things like  "oh heaven has another angel"  or that STUPID poem that ends "God only takes the best"  WHAT THE HECK  You do know everyone dies, right?  So what do you mean by saying God only takes the best?     It makes my head spin.  I suppose it's a way of comforting themselves, but I don't think it does any good in the long run.  Their spirits may come to us with information or comfort as needed  but they do NOT morph into angels.

It's Monday and a short work week for me, as the City has given us a furlough day on Friday.  They PERSIST in calling it an "unpaid holiday"  Nice try but if I ain't getting paid , it's NO holiday.  Friday is my regular day off so I will only work three days this week.  It's ok.  We are going into Memorial Day and I will have more thoughts on THAT next time.

Sunday morning thoughts

 Up early on a Sunday morning.  Can't sleep, so coffee and my notepad it is.  I am a list maker and I am going to see how much on my list I can get done today.  I will admit that I put things like "Lunch" and "take a shower" on the list so at the end of the day I am not staring at a long list of unfinished "chores"  My husband says I overload myself and he may be right, but there ARE things that need doing, as well as things I want done, that just don't happen by themselves.

Before Biden was elected, I would open the news on my computer, wondering if the idiot in the White House had managed to start World War III yet. It was NOT for lack of trying  ( Hey Donnie, you FAILED at that task too)  Now I look to see if he has been indicted yet,  It will happen and , please God, that the evidence be truthfully heard and considered.  He and his criminal network will get the justice they deserve, I wonder who will flip on whom.  Rats jumping off a sinking ship. Yes, I am aware there is an element in this country  who, if the Orange Oaf stabbed their mother to death in front of them would support his right to murder her.  I knew a guy who was crazy and was posting on a website we both frequented about how Biden AND Obama and maybe Nancy Pelosi would be hung in the town square.  He was following a certain group  of "Prophecy Ministers" who kept moving the goal posts as the date for their reckoning came and went.  I don't know about YOU, but if my "religion" tells me to hate someone, I think I need to change religions.  This guy was constantly wetting himself, metaphorically speaking, on a page that was meant to discuss the music of ( ironically enough) the band America.  He made outrageous bets   THEN when he lost told everyone that the bet could not stand because Biden cheated.  Huh?  The whole premise of his "Big Lie" is that Biden cheated.  No one- and I mean NO ONE has produced anything like the scale of illegal voting as they are claiming and yet, they now say we must change voting laws to keep it from happening. Why not leave it as it was, you know, if it ain't broke don't fix it; but it is the only way they can see themselves winning in the next go-around.  The idea of actually having a platform that they can point to that would appeal to disenfranchised groups never enters their head.  After all Corporations are people....

If you are not reading the wonderful blog by Heather Cox Richardson "Letters from an American"  you should be,  She talks about a lot of things and brings a sense of history to the proceedings.

Politics and other things that tangle my brain

 Up early, headed into my office.  We are still working a hybrid and I really am looking forward to going IN more often.  My "office" for the past year has been squished into a tiny corner of my kitchen, that I SUPPOSE is supposed to be a dining room, but never has been.  I have always had my computer here.  It's just harder, with paperwork from my office in a plastic rolly-thing taking up pace.  I feel cramped.  Also there is the fact that I am ALWAYS working.  Work STARES at me and I sometimes feel the need to "Catch up" even when I am not on the clock.  I should not do that.  NO ONE should do that.  It gives the impression that you don't have enough work and they can pile on more.  I have enough to do in my 9+ hour day, thankyouverymuch.

I am watching the Republican party implode.  I am no big fan of Liz Cheney, but as I posted on one of the political sites I frequent, even a broken clock is right twice a day.  Cheney believes the lie that Reagan was the best thing that ever happened to this country, going so far as to advance the well believed theory that HE defeated Soviet Communism.  I believe that was Gorbachev -and HIS epiphany came, not in the hallowed halls of our government, but in a grocery store.  He finally saw that the things he believed were not true and it moved him toward glasnost.

But politics and the BS that is being pulled out by Trumplicans- let's face it they are a truth unto themselves here- is startling.  It would be funny if it weren't so dangerous.   They want so desperately to believe that they won, they can't take a step back to see why they lost.  I suppose the party that waves Lee's Battle flag cannot be expected to accept defeat.  I still see Trump as a cancer.  I do not ever say out loud a wish for evil to happen to anyone- those things have a way of rebounding- but I do wish Karma would hurry up.  Karma is, as the saying goes, not a bitch, but a sweet old lady who serves you the same tea you have been giving people for years.  She just needs to hurry up, before we are destroyed by stupidity.

Now, I hear that people think we will go to a single party, which can never be the case.  We need both sides of the political coin to be successful.  As much as I loathe to admit it, sometimes the Conservatives have a point.  My daughter and others of her generation are pushing for a third party, the Green Party has had a lot of success with the young voters.  We need young voters and people to be engaged in the process of governing this county.  We need fewer  Mitch McConnells  and MORE AOCs  This should be a time when they rise to claim their birthright in the governance of our nation.  

Friday

 I was thinking this morning, as I approach my 63 birthday and am heading toward retirement that I am more  Dylan Thomas than Desiderata  ( Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  Bullshit)

Thomas urged his father to  "not go gentle into that good night".  I am more like that.  I think Gloria Steinem said that as we age, we get more radical and one day the world will be taken over by grey haired ladies.   I kind of like that idea.

Last night, I was in a meeting of an organization I have belonged to and worked HARD for for a long time.  I tried to comment on something the millennial were whining about and got talked down to by the moderator.  It made me re-evaluate my participation in this organization.  Frankly I have become less enchanted with their  approach to their mission and I think the current crop of leadership thinks they know everything.  What's that expression- those who don't' LEARN from history are condemned to repeat it?   About 20 years ago, another organization tried to take over this one and were barely defeated.  The hostile takeover attempt lead to radical change in the way the membership was treated and engaged ( The former Director's attitude to membership was "When I want your opinion I will tell you what it is")  This group looks for direction everywhere but within.  I think it's a mistake, and am tired to death of shoveling sand against the tide.  I will be stepping away, much earlier than planned from this part of  the group.  It will  probably result in them removing me from the rest of my commitments, but at this point it would probably be a relief.

I get my second "Fauci-ouchie" today. I am saddened but not shocked at the number of people who are not going to get it because they believe the LIES that this is a mind-control drug or they are implanting microchips to track you ( this said, absent of irony, by people who WILLINGLY carry a tacking device with them at all times, even into the bathroom)  I am looking forward to being vaccinated and gathering together with my like minded friends who actually looked at the SCIENCE  NOT the SCIENCE FICTION ( seriously a lot of the things I am reading are the stuff of Dystopian Fiction)

I see that Caitlyn Jenner is running for governor.  She really IS delusional.  Does she really think she will be the one Republicans rally behind?  OY

Poem

 It IS after all, poetry month

What depression tastes like

 

 

It rhymes with silver

It rhymes with orange

You sit

Clutching

A cup of coffee

Gone unredeemably cold

It seems like years

But it’s only been minutes

Since the cliché sun

Broke through the cliché clouds

And the wooden birds

Sang.

Tuesday 4/20

 There will be a LOT of  chatter in memes today that it is not ONLY "Taco Tuesday" but "4/20" as well, a day for some odd reason is celebrated for smoking pot.  I've got nothing against pot, mind you.  I DID come of age in the 1970s and well all that came with that.   I don't smoke now- asthma and lack of interest- but those who enjoy the herb should be able to do so.

I am postulating who might be behind the image of the Demon Weed:

I think the Tobacco industry has a lot to do with it, as if somehow, people smoking cannabis would siphon away cigarette smokers.  It is possible the alcohol folks too, but people have a tendency to have something along with the smoke. 

Maybe Big Pharma, as medical marijuana and the benefits of THC are coming more and more to the forefront.  It didn't work for me, I just felt "high" and in pain versus just in pain, but a lot of people report positive findings

Maybe the "for Profit "jail and the legal system.  By criminalizing it, we can throw more people in jail and reap the benefits of incarcerating people.

Maybe all of the above have a hand in it.

President Biden ( I STILL take pleasure in saying and typing those words)  has vowed to decriminalize it.  He's got a fight on his hands, but my money is on Joe.  

In the words of Elliot Mintz, introducing the file "Reefer Madness" on PBS all those years ago  "smoke if ya got 'em"

Monday

How does the weekend- I had a three day one, due to my work schedule- disappear so fast.  I worked on my kitchen ( I may have tossed out too many containers as I appear to have more tops than bottoms but no matter.)  I will SLOWLY begin restocking my containers, as these snap together so lids and bottoms are all in one place.  Gonna TRY anyway.

Tiny things to write about:

"Your father is retiring. Write a limerick about him"

hmmm

There once was a cook named Bob

For whom cooking was more than a job

He taught me to cook

With a word and a look 

And thinking of him, I'll try not to sob

That was kind of fun.

I am fretting about the news these days and I know I shouldn't   Seriously how can the Dereck Chauvin case play out? HE murdered that man in broad daylight with the whole world watching.  He died in police custody, begging for help and they ignored his distress.   He was cuffed and in restraints.  Geez, if he had been a white guy they would have brought him a Perrier.

The racists running the new Trumpian branch of the Republican Party are scary.  I wonder if we ever will get to the place where ideas are discussed in a thoughtful manner, what is best for ALL of us, not just the rich and powerful who want to remain there by pushing us all down.  

I see it locally.  I just voted in my Neighborhood Council election and I was HORRIFIED to see the grade school behavior of some business owners in this community.  Thanks for the warning, y'all  Watching you snipe at one another instead of support and discuss what is best for the neighborhood in general really made voting against some of these people a snap.  I personally would never run for the NC and there ARE a few good souls who mean what they say and are not just in it to advance whatever THEY want for them.  I've been to their meetings. I've been to Wrestling matches with more decorum

I get my last shot this Friday.  I am looking forward to being done with this.

Sunday morning meanderings

 I SHOULD be working on my kitchen reorganization project.    I have far too many mismatched and frankly OLD food storage containers and I am moving toward having ONE kind and NOT a bunch of containers that used to hold something else ( potato salad container, I'm looking at YOU)  So I pulled it all out and then needed coffee.

Anyone want to help me get organized?  

These days, I am scattered in brain and action.  It's a symptom of the anxiety and just general chaos in the world.   Do you remember in "Get Smart" the 'bad Guys" were Kaos?  They were apparently "bent on World domination"  It's taken almost 60 years, but by Jove, they've done it.

I'm not talking about my kitchen floor.

I woke up last night, the end of  the Prednisone attacks on my sleep pattern, thinking about a nuresey rhyme I learned as a child

"For want of a nail

a shoe was lost

For want of a shoe

a horse was lost

For want of a horse,

a rider was lost

for want of a rider

a battle was lost

For want of a battle,

A war was lost

and all for the want of a horse-shoe nail"

Small things make a difference. I often wonder, if Beau Biden had not died, for instance, would Joe have run instead of Hilary? Where would we be as a nation if we had elected him then?  So many in this country were afraid of "emotional women" they elected a paranoid, raving conman who, as my Dad used to say "promised them the moon until the sun came up"  It will be a long road, fixing that damage, if we can.

Still I have hope and lots of it. I saw young people getting involved in politics.  I see them standing to make this world a better place and for every Kyle Rittenhouse, we have a Greta Thunberg.

I am reading Dan' Rather's excellent collection of essays called "What Unites us".  I may need to buy a copy, there is so much that he says that give me pause.  I subscribe to his email project "Steady"  as well as Heather Cox Richardson, whose brilliant sense of history and the political climate give me both hope and despair, sometimes in the same sentence. 

It's also Poetry Month, and as we approach the Bard's Birth and Death day, I will be trying to read more poetry.  I love the deceptively simple brilliance of Mary Oliver and I will try to take smallish bites of Walt Whitman.  As I get older, I have less patience for long long poems, but if I just take him a section at a time, I MIGHT get through some of  "Leaves of Grass"

Anything to avoid the food container pile on the floor...

No words but I do have a few

 When I was a kid and my mother asked me why I had done something and I came out with a lame excuse rather than a clear explanation, she would shake her head and say " well a poor excuse is better than none"  I suppose she meant she wasn't buying it, but she would let me think about it.  

This makes me think of the cop who shot Daunte Wright for having air freshener hanging from his rearview mirror.  Apparently it's illegal but when you are Driving While Black it is also a capitol offense.   She claimed she was reaching for her Taser and grabbed her gun.  The smell of Toro poop is strong with this defense.   What in tarnation are they teaching the cops in Minnesota anyway?

Sadly, this is not a "one off" or an aberration. It happens daily, all over this country.  Driving while Not White is a crime.  

I am a white woman of a certain age and while we often fade into the background ( I say Invisibility is my superpower) I wonder what we can do .  I belong to a group where recently the moderator posted a "safe space" for women of color to talk about how they are feeling right now.  White women were asked not to comment, but they did anyway.  The anger that erupted between us was disheartening.  We were asked to either read the comments and learn something, or get off  that thread.  Now I will admit I got a little upset to see my sisters lump us all together.  I think that is just as wrong as when white people do it and it doesn't really solve the problem.  Well maybe it does.  If you bring a bias out into the light of day and are willing to discuss both sides of the issue, perhaps we can join together.  That's the old hippie in me, I suppose, believing that there is hope if we just have peace, love and understanding in our hearts.  Seed need to break their shell before they can grow and I imagine there is a lot of pain that we must go through to get to a better place.  We change hearts and minds, often one person at a time and there will not be this gigantic seachange without struggle. I am hopeful we can begin a dialog.  Baby steps are better than no steps.

Prednisone. Again

 Have I mentioned I hate taking prednisone?   Just for the record   I.HATE.TAKING PREDNISONE.     It behaves badly in my body.   Last night I felt like I was ON something,  couldn't sleep, couldn't shut off my brain, wound up taking a pain reliever to counteract it and FINALLY FINALLY fell asleep around 4 am.  I get up at 6:30.   This ought to be interesting. It also makes me incredibly slow witted.  If you talk to me today please understand.

Fro some reason, my asthma has ramped out of control.  I need to get a handle on it and this was the solution.  UGH.  I think stress contributes.  I keep SAYING I am going to get more exercise, but yesterday my right knee had other plans.  I hate taking anything for the pain.  I am waiting for my second shot to schedule my replacement.  I need to do it soon, but will email the surgeon AFTER I am fully protected.

I see a lot of people saying they are not getting the shot.  Ok.  Did you go to medical school, do you know something I don't?  We made polio less of a thing.  It's not completely gone because PEOPLE DIDN"T TAKE THE VACCINE!!!!!!  ugh  I remember getting the sugar cube in elementary school- and asking about a second one (lol- I was six)   There was no vaccine for Chicken pox and I got that when I was four months pregnant with Kate.  She got it in her eyes and wears glasses because of it. It there had been a vaccine, you bet your sweet bippy I would have gotten it.

I get it.  You don't want the vaccine because:

a-  You think they are implanting a microchip and will be tracking you ( the irony that most people saying this WILLINGLY carry a mobile tracking device everywhere EVEN THE BATHROOM, is delicious)

b- you believe herd immunity will protect you.  Herd immunity depends, I believe, on  people in the "herd" actually getting the virus AND recovering from it.  I'm not willing to take that chance.

c- you believe in "natural holistic healing and essential oils"  Look, I'm as hippy-dippy as the next person, but I STILL trust Western medicine for viruses.

d- you believe that vaccines cause autism.  No, they don't.  That was debunked years ago, so stop, just STOP.

Don't get me started on the anti-maskers.  wear the mask for two weeks.  If you had, and social distanced AND washed your hands, we might not be in this mess.  AS usual I blame the failed leadership of the Former Guy for that.  

So I have to take Prednisone for another week which means that for the next week or so, I am going to be in no particular order:

Sleepy

Grumpy

Spacy

not eating

emotional

So bear with me.  It's gonna be a long week

April is Poetry Month

 Poetry is something I always wrote as a kid.  I was known for it.  Was it good?  Maybe, I can't really tell but as I grow older the point of my art is to be creative and MAYBE impact someone.  I used to belong to an online poetry group.  One kid said he printed and carried a few of my poems with him, as they inspired him to write.  I lost touch with that group when my divorce happened and things like that were no longer around ( I think they all fell away from it as well)

I am going to try to just write a quick poem, no edits.   I was thinking about a woman I knew in college, Stella, who had swum across dangerous waters from China to freedom.  She was treated as a hero not as a dirty illegal.  I heard she married another friend from my college group, but again, I have lost touch with that group.  She told me that the form of Chinese art she produced had to be done in under three minutes or it was rejected.  So in honor of that conversation, I will try to write quickly- and TRY not to edit.

Pandemic

For the past year 

we have stared at the walls

Stared at the floor

Stared at each other

Waiting

Waiting for a cure

Waiting for release

Waiting for change

We baked bread

Painted pictures

Took photos from inside

the walls of our homes

dreaming of the outdoors

We became keyboard warriors

either attacking mercilessly 

or sending messages of hope to effect change.

We found God

We lost God

We made and lost connections that were precious.

Life went on

Life goes on

There was great loss

but also great gains

Hope became a tangible thing

something we could hold 

in delicate outstretched fingers

that we now offer

as we emerge

tentatively

into the morning sun.

Phew  ok.   I hope you like it.  Only one teeny edit, done before I hit the return key so it doesn't count.

I have been embracing different art to find my balance.  Work is good, but not exactly art and I need the balance.  Once I am vaccinated, I hope to get outside with my camera and take photos, something I enjoy. I have been housebound long enough.

I don't have much to say

 It's Wednesday and I am half asleep.  My asthma kicked into gear again last night.  I THOUGHT I was doing better, but alas not.  There are a lot of factors- stress being a major one and I have no idea WHY I am so stressed these days.  Probably the whole pandemic thing and the thought of going back to work.  We will probably be back in our office the first week of May , when more libraires open back up in a different way.  It's going to be interesting.

I get my last shot on April 23.  You hear various stories about reaction to the second one, but frankly I am not thinking it will be anything of great consequence.  IF I have a reaction, I am home and can just ride it out.  Heck  I went to WORK with pneumonia, ( I know.. I know..) so I have the ability to function while feeling crappy.  Hopefully it will not do much.

I have been thinking about English and advertising.  The thing grinding my gears are all the  notices that advertise "Free gift with purchase"   WHAT other type of GIFT is there?   Aren't all "gifts" by nature FREE????  Sheesh.  I guess there is no truth in advertising, otherwise they would have to say "Random useless crap thrown in with purchase"  these days, the "free gift" is rarely something I can use.

Chris was talking about the rant that says "you can save up to 20 %- OR MORE"  HUH?  UP TO is the limit, right?  Honestly advertising copy writers need to go BACK to school.  I was thinking of Darrin Stevens who worked for an ad agency.  Would HE have used such faulty logic?   Maybe.

I just realized I started this but got busy and never completed it.  It seems to be a thing these days, too many spinning plates in the air.  I am trying to step back and take better control of things, but it gets harder and harder.  Aren't things supposed to SLOW DOWN as we age?  Some days I feel like I am perpetually at the apex of a very tall roller coaster.  

He is Risen

 Three powerful words that are the basis of the Christian faith. He is Risen.   In the past four years, The trump ( small "T" intentional) administration and Faux News have thrown an awful lot of  dirt toward "The War on Christmas"  as if  Christmas somehow defines the Christian Faith.  It does not.  Sure, we love to celebrate and give presents, but really the core of faith is that he died and rose again.  

Somehow the Most Christian Man in the World forgets that.

Growing up, I went to a church of my choosing with my sister ( who I think actually chose the church, she may have known someone who went there)  The original pastor,  Pastor Gene, was a gentle soul whose sermons were  warm and hopeful.  When he left, we got  Brother Johnstone, a "Fire and Brimstone" Baptist.  I never could quite reconcile the "God who loved you so well that he knew the number of the hairs on your head"  with the "God who will smite you down with a Thunderbolt if you step out of line"   I heard a lot about "Fearing God"  I don't think that's the point.  AS I grew older, I saw the hypocrisy in my chosen church and turned from organized religion to have a  personal, if unorthodox relationship with my Creator.  Sure, I believe the basics of Christianity, but some of it is just weird.  I suppose that is what faith is.   I stopped being afraid of God and started having long chats with him.  I figure he know what I am talking about, most of the time.

I see  a lot of people waving a Bible, including some who have probably never even opened one or really thought about what it says.  Hate is not a Christian value.  Hating people is something Christ himself directly addressed in his new commandment to his followers "Love ye one another"  Simple, right?   I think there are sects of Christianity who missed the memo.

As we celebrate  Easter, with colored eggs and chocolate bunnies, let us all endeavor to take Christ's words to heart, even if you don't follow Christianity.   Love.  It's a good thing to do.

Laughlin

  Chris said- and I Agreed- that I needed a change of scene.  We get free rooms at Harrah's in Laughlin so we booked a stay.

I am currently looking at the sun glistening on the Colorado River.  Being near water is healing for me, but things have changed and I will be reevaluating my affection for this particular hotel.

First, it is not that well kept.  I found crumbs from a muffin on the worktable near the window.  I  brought my disinfectant and scrubbed and cleaned- if I wanted to do THAT I could have stayed home.

I think the people across the hall are either into something illegal or they have a bunch of idiot friends.  People come and go at all hours and yesterday around 5 pm when I was resting- this vacation IS about taking a freaking NAP whenever I want- two people banged on their door shouting POLICE OPEN UP.  Now, I am not doing anything illegal, but it ramped up my heart rate so much I needed extra meds.  Hope they leave today.  We are here until Thursday 

I am using the Buzz Around scooter, as my right knee has a nasty habit of giving way at the most inopportune times. I can walk with a cane, but it's tiresome and I can't keep up with Chris who is using a scooter.Being temporarily disabled makes me more aware of disability.  I can't open some doors.  I am invisible to people.  People seem to think it's fun, using a scooter. Last night some drunk woman made as if she were jumping on my scooter and said "Oh, I wish I could have one of those"  I said something to the effect that I would trade my knees for hers, but she was giggling and stumbling with her friend. .  Some people's children.

Food here is passable. Gone are any buffets- a victim of Covid- and the places that are open are so slammed they don't have time to properly prepare anything.  Last night, we went to Smashburger and the food was terrible.  I couldn't even eat the sweet potato fries .  They have one size drink with NO refills. The size is small and I wound up giving Chris both drinks. The trash can was overflowing and I think they expect customers to clean and sanitize the tables.  You would think, being one of the few OPEN businesses in this hotel they would hire more people.  We will not eat there again.  We are probably going to the grocery store and bringing back some fixings- no microwave but some kind of food, even if it's sandwiches and potato salad. 

Chris and I are going across the river to Arizona.  There is a museum and a distillery in Kingman that looks like it might be fun.  I hope to post a more upbeat review later on.

Saturday thoughts about nothing

I was thinking the other day about English and how hard it must be to learn if you speak another language.   English is a very confusing language, having been cribbed from other languages, living and dead.   

Take for instance the word "score"   I was thinking about this because of the song " Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac.  She sings  "and the songbird keeps singing like they know the score."  for YEARS, I associated this with the score of a game, the slang would mean that you know what's going on.   It dawned on me, as I was washing my dishes the other day, that it meant a MUSICAL score.  ummm.  I thought about the word itself.  Bear with me, but score can mean:

• A piece of music
• the total points in a game
• to make a cutting in something- like scoring a vegetable to make it pretty
• to make a point in a game

See what I mean?   English can be darn tricky.

There is a coffee cup I have seen online that I think I need.  It says "I am silently correcting your grammar."  Yep.  I have learned over the years that it is not up to me to correct someone when they misspeak, but the thing that makes me crazy is the misuse of "I" and "me"  Frankly, I won't get into parts of speech, because grammar can be boring- except for the class I took at CSUN  taught by poet Ann Stanford  SHE made grammar interesting and important.  

The best way to tell whether to us "Me" or  "I" when you are listing a group of people and you want to include yourself is to drop all the other names and see if you would use one or the other if it stood alone.  I have often found that to be helpful  although I am USUALLY pretty  good with that part of speech.  

Using an adjective when you desperately need an adverb is also a pet peeve.

Still I am happy these days when I actually HAVE human interaction.  I got the first shot yesterday and apart from a sore arm, I am not feeling any adverse effects.    The next one in in late April .  I am looking forward to have this behind me.