Distracted

These days, I'm like a crow; easily distracted by shiny things.

I SHOULD be writing poetry

I SHOULD be cleaning and tidying the house.

I SHOULD be getting more exercise and more rest ( not mutually exclusive- the more you exercise the better you sleep)

but no

I am playing pointless games on the computer.  Granted SOME of them are word games that SAY they increase your memory and help your brain.

My brain, and the rest of me, are just tired.  I am trying to figure out why, but no real answer is coming, except stress. 

But with me, it's ALWAYS stress.  Yesterday, after a LONG unpleasant exchange with someone, I seriously considered packing it up and going to the retirement board.  But I have two goals to meet before I do that so, Suck it Up, Buttercup.  The work is important, but if we screw up, no one dies. 

Today, I will work hard on the project that is looming large on my horizon.  I have about a week to get it done.  I can, if I put my phone on do not disturb and ask my co-workers to catch the emergencies- knock it out in about two hours for a rough draft.  I write better under pressure ( it IS I believe, the Hallmark of ALL English majors!)

Still I need to get rid of my "Shoulds" they mess up the moment.  Chris lives in the moment. I have trouble with that.  I used to have a dog, Ezekiel J. Moose, who would sit on the porch with me and just lean against me, his large furry self taking my cares away.  I miss him and wonder if I think of those times with him, if I can release my cares to the sky.  Probably not, but I have a lump in my throat when I think of him nonetheless.

It's gonna be a long day....