How did it get to be the end of the year so quickly? Time seems to fly, the older we get. Recently, I have been seasonally blue and in an effort to bring myself out of this funk I find myself in, I am trying to think about the good things in my life so, in no particular order- here goes:
Bobby, ok, you all saw THAT coming as Number One. The birth of my first grandchild makes this a banner year, if NOTHING ELSE. Holding that sweet, peaceful baby in the first moments of his life will always be with me. I love him.I dream of the man he will become and hope I am a continuing part of it. I have so many adventures planned for us.
Chris. Always. I have been lucky, after years of unhappiness, to find my husband. Sometimes I want to pinch myself to see if this really IS happening. I am thankful beyond measure that he is in my life and in my corner. He loves me when I am unlovable. He came with the bonus of a great extended family. I have more cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews than I know what to do with, and I love them. My Mother-in-law is the sweetest woman, I am lucky to have her.
Baseball. Yes. Baseball. I went to a Dodger game this year and got seats behind home plate. We were on tv! Yikes. It was a very cool experience and I would LOVE to do it again, if that were possible. I love baseball. The first thing I got my grandchild, before we knew who he was, was a Dodger outfit. He's a FIFTH generation fan. It's in the DNA.
Books. This year I have read some wonderful books; the whole Alera Series by Jim Butcher was a wonderful thing to listen to in the car. I was totally BUMMED by the death of Diana Norman, aka Ariana Franklin in the middle of her "Mistress of the art of Death" Series. She left book four as a cliff hanger and then DIED. oy. I enjoyed the books, even if they were somewhat implausible and Adelia's affection for Rowley Picot was, in my opinion, somewhat misplaced.
Friends. I have the world's BEST group of friends. It was fun over the holidays to get together with a few of them. My friends are a great group and I am happy when I have them in to dinner and introduce them to each other. I love having people in our home for dinner and plan to do more of that in 2015.
Music. I really am not up at all on current bands and music, but I am finding local musicians who delight and inspire me. I have been bar-tending at McGroarty for our "Fourth Friday" events and while it has NOT been as packed in the house as I might have liked, this next year seems promising as we revamp the program a bit. Despite a few missteps into some MAJOR potholes, we managed to keep the doors open to the Center and the New Year has some wonderful event planned. ( Yes I am going to plug one) We have a "Timeless Tile" event, where YOU create your own tile which can be displayed at the Center for all to see or taken home for you to enjoy. The cost per tile is $25. Explore your inner artist for a worthy cause! The date is January 18. Be there!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Feeling icky
I have been up for several hours, just being lazy and scrolling through Facebook posts. WHY? I have no idea, but as the song says, I just can't seem to get moving. I'm hungry, but don't want anything that I have in the house, nor do I KNOW what I want to eat, so that's a problem. Bleh. I had promised myself that I would take down Christmas today and pack everything up. I have to clean the walk-off rug that one of the visiting pups "christened" I need to go to the grocery store and do laundry, but I am NOT feeling it. I am wasting my time on Facebook. Maybe I am NOT really wasting time as much as stalling for time. I am "visiting" with my far away friends. Yeah, that's it.
I have been edgy lately and wonder if the changing season has affected me. I feel restless and unsettled. Maybe I just need a good book.
I have been reading "I would have loved him if I had not killed him" a gorgeously written novel with Gothic overtones. It's slow going for me, but I am trying to get the pace of the novel and really read it, not speed through it. I have been listening to books on tape a lot more lately. They are great for the ride to and from work. I waded through Alice McDermott's "After this" and wondered why I bothered. The novel was a slice-of-life piece, well written but unsatisfying as to the conclusion. There really wasn't one, to tell the truth. No real point to the story except to examine the life of a family over the course of many years. I suppose that is why I like mystery novels so much. There is a conclusion. There is a problem and a solution, all tied up in a neat bow. Except for Agatha Christie. I hate Agatha Christie. HER solutions never allow the reader to come to a conclusion before the denouement. She always withholds some key piece of information and has the detective spring it at the Big Reveal. ugh. I want to try to come to the conclusion myself, then go back to see where I missed it in the reading if I did not get it. The "aha" moment in the book, if you will.
I stopped listening to "How right you are, Jeeves" as the narrator was bugging the crap out of me. His "American" accent- supposed to be a New York playboy sounded more like Monte Montana. Totally WRONG and annoying and as the playboy is a major character, I gave up the book in utter disgust. I did the same thing with a Fitzgerald novel a while back. The reader had some weird tic that was driving me crazy and after about ten minutes, I realized that I could NOT be trapped in the car with this reader for one minute longer.
I wonder what my friends are reading and can recommend. Anyone have a book to take away the Winter blahs?
I have been edgy lately and wonder if the changing season has affected me. I feel restless and unsettled. Maybe I just need a good book.
I have been reading "I would have loved him if I had not killed him" a gorgeously written novel with Gothic overtones. It's slow going for me, but I am trying to get the pace of the novel and really read it, not speed through it. I have been listening to books on tape a lot more lately. They are great for the ride to and from work. I waded through Alice McDermott's "After this" and wondered why I bothered. The novel was a slice-of-life piece, well written but unsatisfying as to the conclusion. There really wasn't one, to tell the truth. No real point to the story except to examine the life of a family over the course of many years. I suppose that is why I like mystery novels so much. There is a conclusion. There is a problem and a solution, all tied up in a neat bow. Except for Agatha Christie. I hate Agatha Christie. HER solutions never allow the reader to come to a conclusion before the denouement. She always withholds some key piece of information and has the detective spring it at the Big Reveal. ugh. I want to try to come to the conclusion myself, then go back to see where I missed it in the reading if I did not get it. The "aha" moment in the book, if you will.
I stopped listening to "How right you are, Jeeves" as the narrator was bugging the crap out of me. His "American" accent- supposed to be a New York playboy sounded more like Monte Montana. Totally WRONG and annoying and as the playboy is a major character, I gave up the book in utter disgust. I did the same thing with a Fitzgerald novel a while back. The reader had some weird tic that was driving me crazy and after about ten minutes, I realized that I could NOT be trapped in the car with this reader for one minute longer.
I wonder what my friends are reading and can recommend. Anyone have a book to take away the Winter blahs?
Friday, December 26, 2014
Post Christmas thoughts
It's o-dark-hundred and I am trying to get myself together to go to work. It's going to be interesting, and I hope someone is there before me, as I do not have a key. They re-keyed and did not make enough so I didn't get one. If no one is there, I cannot get in. Just another reason these days for me to seriously consider retirement or changing jobs. I am at the very worst, about six years from retirement. My job, although I love most aspects of it, is demanding. Some days I just don't feel like I am doing all I could be. Maybe it's just lately, the change of the season, the sameness of things that makes me want to do something else. Maybe I just need a real vacation where I do nothing but relax. Wishful thinking at this point, because as the poem says "I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep". Now I know that Frost was talking about death, or at least that's the discussion that I remember having about it in some long ago Lit class, but quotes out of context can sometimes be applied to other things. Maybe I just need to figure out what is bugging me and take steps to correct it.
On Christmas Eve-eve, Chris and I went to a coffee house show of an artist I discovered via Pandora. Her name is Corrinne May and she has the most glorious voice. I HAD to get her Christmas album "The Gift" for one song ,"The Answer", which is more a hymn of praise than a Christmas song. Her voice just soars on it. It was lovely to go out with my husband for an evening of just us doing something. Both of us have been so busy and so tired that we haven't had as much "us" time. We are making plans to actually schedule more time together, if that makes sense. We need to make sure there is time for us to be together, just us. Is it possible to build in a "do-nothing" period in our schedules? I am not programmed that way. I need to change the programming.
So, for those of you not working today, have a lovely day after Christmas. The stores should be insane today. I never go to those clearance sales, too much a reminder of Orbach's bargain basement for me. You have to be a certain "vintage" to remember that place. You'd be fighting with some Sherman Oaks matron over a sweater with holes in it that was selling for two bucks. SO not worth the effort! The after Christmas sales really kill any holiday spirit, no season of "peace on Earth and Goodwill toward man" as you are grabbing that box or ornaments you don't need but they are 75% off so you get them, just beating someone else for the grab. My little house is cluttered enough with stuff I already have!
On Christmas Eve-eve, Chris and I went to a coffee house show of an artist I discovered via Pandora. Her name is Corrinne May and she has the most glorious voice. I HAD to get her Christmas album "The Gift" for one song ,"The Answer", which is more a hymn of praise than a Christmas song. Her voice just soars on it. It was lovely to go out with my husband for an evening of just us doing something. Both of us have been so busy and so tired that we haven't had as much "us" time. We are making plans to actually schedule more time together, if that makes sense. We need to make sure there is time for us to be together, just us. Is it possible to build in a "do-nothing" period in our schedules? I am not programmed that way. I need to change the programming.
So, for those of you not working today, have a lovely day after Christmas. The stores should be insane today. I never go to those clearance sales, too much a reminder of Orbach's bargain basement for me. You have to be a certain "vintage" to remember that place. You'd be fighting with some Sherman Oaks matron over a sweater with holes in it that was selling for two bucks. SO not worth the effort! The after Christmas sales really kill any holiday spirit, no season of "peace on Earth and Goodwill toward man" as you are grabbing that box or ornaments you don't need but they are 75% off so you get them, just beating someone else for the grab. My little house is cluttered enough with stuff I already have!
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Christmas Day
I posted this on my FB page, along with a picture of my Bobby with Santa. Notice he's MY Bobby. I love that little boy.
Merry Christmas, everyone! This year, our family has been blessed in so many ways, not the least of which is Robert Benjamin Aguirre. Christmas is a time to reflect on the gifts we received during the year, not just what's under the tree on Christmas morning. So to each of you here, I say thank you. You have made me laugh, made me mad and made me think. You have shared your joys and the challenges that are before you and in sharing we have made the load bearable. Have a wonderful Christmas, and for my friends who don't celebrate Christmas, I hope the joys of the season of holidays are yours. Much love to each of you, from our family to yours.
We followed a Myers family tradition and opened our gifts last night. When I was a child, and Santa still came to the house, we would be put to bed early, my mother always saying that Santa would not come until I was asleep. We would be awakened by my mother, who would exclaim "Santa's been here!" and we would go out to the living room to find it piled with presents. We would open them and enjoy them before my father had to go to work. My Dad was in the restaurant business and worked the 11-7 shift, and he almost always worked Christmas Eve. Although my mother always said that we were following the German traditional Christmas celebration, I suspect it was because my father wanted to see us open our presents, and as he came home around 8 in the morning, there was no guarantee that he would get home before we discovered that Santa had indeed come. During my first marriage, I tried to get my husband to continue this tradition, which he was more than willing to do when it came to opening HIS presents, but when we had Kate it was another story altogether. He made her wait until Christmas morning. It just never seemed like the magical Christmases I remembered as a child. I hope one day to have Bobby here for Christmas. I even have the pickle ornament. There is a tradition of hiding a pickle shaped ornament in the tree and whatever child finds it will get a special gift ( a jar of pickles, perhaps - lol)
I am getting ready to celebrate Christmas with friends who are more like family than just friends. I am making the traditional food of Christmas- lasagna! I am looking forward to looking around my crowded table and seeing people I love enjoying a meal and each others company.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the joy of this season be yours.
Merry Christmas, everyone! This year, our family has been blessed in so many ways, not the least of which is Robert Benjamin Aguirre. Christmas is a time to reflect on the gifts we received during the year, not just what's under the tree on Christmas morning. So to each of you here, I say thank you. You have made me laugh, made me mad and made me think. You have shared your joys and the challenges that are before you and in sharing we have made the load bearable. Have a wonderful Christmas, and for my friends who don't celebrate Christmas, I hope the joys of the season of holidays are yours. Much love to each of you, from our family to yours.
We followed a Myers family tradition and opened our gifts last night. When I was a child, and Santa still came to the house, we would be put to bed early, my mother always saying that Santa would not come until I was asleep. We would be awakened by my mother, who would exclaim "Santa's been here!" and we would go out to the living room to find it piled with presents. We would open them and enjoy them before my father had to go to work. My Dad was in the restaurant business and worked the 11-7 shift, and he almost always worked Christmas Eve. Although my mother always said that we were following the German traditional Christmas celebration, I suspect it was because my father wanted to see us open our presents, and as he came home around 8 in the morning, there was no guarantee that he would get home before we discovered that Santa had indeed come. During my first marriage, I tried to get my husband to continue this tradition, which he was more than willing to do when it came to opening HIS presents, but when we had Kate it was another story altogether. He made her wait until Christmas morning. It just never seemed like the magical Christmases I remembered as a child. I hope one day to have Bobby here for Christmas. I even have the pickle ornament. There is a tradition of hiding a pickle shaped ornament in the tree and whatever child finds it will get a special gift ( a jar of pickles, perhaps - lol)
I am getting ready to celebrate Christmas with friends who are more like family than just friends. I am making the traditional food of Christmas- lasagna! I am looking forward to looking around my crowded table and seeing people I love enjoying a meal and each others company.
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! May the joy of this season be yours.
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Merry Christmas!
I don't write those Christmas letters, although most of the time I enjoy reading them. I love the honest ones, not the ones that sugar-coat and brag. If I were to write one, it would be all about Bobby anyway!
It's Christmas Eve and I am SO not ready, so I am up early but still trying to jumpstart my motor. I am totally unfocused, but my house is NOT "company ready" so I need to get at it. I have a plan, but I am already behind.
Sigh.
Last night I did something nice for ME! I went out to hear one of my new discoveries, a singer songwriter named Corrinne May. You have heard me enthuse about her, but she was wonderful. She even had the crowd sing along, Christmas carols I have not sung in a very long time. I picked up her Christmas cd "The Gift" and another one ( it's in the car and I forget the name). I spoke briefly with her, thanking her for helping me get my holiday spirit going. She was very sweet. I will be posting a review of BOTH cds later this week.
Christmas Eve is the time when my family always celebrated. I am missing my mom this year, but Chris found a wonderful thing. We had a box of slides from my Dad's house. He was an amateur photographer early in my parents' marriage. Chris bought me an early Christmas gift of a slide viewer/scanner. So far I have seen photos of their trip to Atlantic City, and photos of my mother at the beach and in Central park. I had forgotten, I suppose, how pretty she was. I am hoping to convert all the photos to... something.. and am looking for kind of an art project that has been on my mind. I am not much of an artist myself, but i CAN assemble nicely. We will see. At any rate, now I can scan all those photos I have. It's going to be an interesting time!
If I don't write more tomorrow morning, I want to wish everyone reading this a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS ( if you celebrate, that is) Whatever you celebrate this season, thank you for being part of my life and my writing journey. I do this for myself, to keep my hand in the only "art" I do, but I appreciate the comments and the feedback. May the joys of the season be yours!
It's Christmas Eve and I am SO not ready, so I am up early but still trying to jumpstart my motor. I am totally unfocused, but my house is NOT "company ready" so I need to get at it. I have a plan, but I am already behind.
Sigh.
Last night I did something nice for ME! I went out to hear one of my new discoveries, a singer songwriter named Corrinne May. You have heard me enthuse about her, but she was wonderful. She even had the crowd sing along, Christmas carols I have not sung in a very long time. I picked up her Christmas cd "The Gift" and another one ( it's in the car and I forget the name). I spoke briefly with her, thanking her for helping me get my holiday spirit going. She was very sweet. I will be posting a review of BOTH cds later this week.
Christmas Eve is the time when my family always celebrated. I am missing my mom this year, but Chris found a wonderful thing. We had a box of slides from my Dad's house. He was an amateur photographer early in my parents' marriage. Chris bought me an early Christmas gift of a slide viewer/scanner. So far I have seen photos of their trip to Atlantic City, and photos of my mother at the beach and in Central park. I had forgotten, I suppose, how pretty she was. I am hoping to convert all the photos to... something.. and am looking for kind of an art project that has been on my mind. I am not much of an artist myself, but i CAN assemble nicely. We will see. At any rate, now I can scan all those photos I have. It's going to be an interesting time!
If I don't write more tomorrow morning, I want to wish everyone reading this a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS ( if you celebrate, that is) Whatever you celebrate this season, thank you for being part of my life and my writing journey. I do this for myself, to keep my hand in the only "art" I do, but I appreciate the comments and the feedback. May the joys of the season be yours!
Monday, December 22, 2014
Monday Monday
I've been busy getting ready for Christmas. It looks like we will have about ten people for Christmas dinner. I am making an Italian feast and hope that it goes well. I love cooking and lasagna is my "signature" dish I am making sausage and peppers with polenta as well; stuffed mushrooms and two kinds of pie for dessert. Is that overkill? I will make a nice "Kitchen sink salad" I am trying to gear up my brain for what I will need to do this. I am looking forward to the company this year.
Christmas is a time of reflection, or it should be. I am trying to slow down and focus on the meaning of the holiday. People are dragging out that "Jesus is the reason for the season" that really irks me. Jesus is ONE reason for the season. There are other faiths who celebrate during this time of year. You don't need to embrace them, but you should try to be as accepting of other's beliefs as you would want them to be of yours. This is particularly true of one or two of my Christian friends who get their knickers in a twist about Christmas being the ONLY holiday at this time of year. uh..... OK then. Someone asked me, as I was making latkes last week, if I celebrated Hanukkah. I replied "I'll celebrate anything" Christians conveniently forget that JESUS was Jewish. He wasn't Christian, that came after he was gone. His philosophy and his life may have started the religion, but HE himself remained Jewish.
My house is still a wreck, the tree isn't decorated and I am trying to get my act together. The place looks like Scrooge's house and I need to get it ready for celebrating. It's too bad I have to go to work this week. Work gets in the way of living, doesn't it? Hopefully, traffic and moods will be lighter this week. I have been trying to listen to Christmas music this week, but the stuff on the radio is god-awful crap. I AM going to try to go tomorrow night to see Corrinne May at the Peets in Tarzana. She has a most glorious voice. Her album is my new favorite of the season. I hope she has it for sale tomorrow!
Christmas is a time of reflection, or it should be. I am trying to slow down and focus on the meaning of the holiday. People are dragging out that "Jesus is the reason for the season" that really irks me. Jesus is ONE reason for the season. There are other faiths who celebrate during this time of year. You don't need to embrace them, but you should try to be as accepting of other's beliefs as you would want them to be of yours. This is particularly true of one or two of my Christian friends who get their knickers in a twist about Christmas being the ONLY holiday at this time of year. uh..... OK then. Someone asked me, as I was making latkes last week, if I celebrated Hanukkah. I replied "I'll celebrate anything" Christians conveniently forget that JESUS was Jewish. He wasn't Christian, that came after he was gone. His philosophy and his life may have started the religion, but HE himself remained Jewish.
My house is still a wreck, the tree isn't decorated and I am trying to get my act together. The place looks like Scrooge's house and I need to get it ready for celebrating. It's too bad I have to go to work this week. Work gets in the way of living, doesn't it? Hopefully, traffic and moods will be lighter this week. I have been trying to listen to Christmas music this week, but the stuff on the radio is god-awful crap. I AM going to try to go tomorrow night to see Corrinne May at the Peets in Tarzana. She has a most glorious voice. Her album is my new favorite of the season. I hope she has it for sale tomorrow!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Rambling thoughts on a Thursday morning
I hate it when the microwave in my office tells me "Enjoy your meal" when it is done. When did machinery get so... bossy?
I'm tired and I don't think there is enough coffee in the world to keep me going today, but as usual there is a lot on my plate so, "suck it up, buttercup".
This year the holidays are bringing out the humbug in me. I seem to be going through the motions without the joy . I need to find my Merry Christmas, you know? A lot of people are feeling that way this year. I was talking to one of my co-workers about how Christmas seems to bring a sense of obligation to some people, they have to give gifts to people when they really don't want to be bothered or they have to go to parties. Sometimes it's "the cost of doing business" and you need to do certain things. It's hard sometimes to put a happy face on it and go along. Sometimes when you do that, the situation becomes much nicer than you thought it would be. I was thinking about Jacob Marley "I wear the chain I forged in life." I wonder what "chain" a lot of people drag with them through life and how we can make it lighter.
I found, via Pandora, a singer I am enjoying. Her name is Corrinne May. Her voice is so sweet and clear, like a crystal bell. I am listening to her Christmas album, "The Gift" , or part of it, on youtube. I really need to buy it, so I have it.
I think I am finished baking cookies, at least for now. I will probably make a huge batch of fudgies for Christmas and maybe one kind of cookie. I need to see what my husband would like me to do, He is so sweet about helping me. This year I baked less than usual. My oven is quirky and burned some things. Probably needs a new thermostat. Gotta talk to the landlord. I made, sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, fruit cake, cranberry bread, haystacks, fudgies and fudge. I made chocolate chip cakes for my office mates. Taking it to work today, so I'd better pack and scoot. I have to get to the parking lot before 8:30 to get the discounted price!
I'm tired and I don't think there is enough coffee in the world to keep me going today, but as usual there is a lot on my plate so, "suck it up, buttercup".
This year the holidays are bringing out the humbug in me. I seem to be going through the motions without the joy . I need to find my Merry Christmas, you know? A lot of people are feeling that way this year. I was talking to one of my co-workers about how Christmas seems to bring a sense of obligation to some people, they have to give gifts to people when they really don't want to be bothered or they have to go to parties. Sometimes it's "the cost of doing business" and you need to do certain things. It's hard sometimes to put a happy face on it and go along. Sometimes when you do that, the situation becomes much nicer than you thought it would be. I was thinking about Jacob Marley "I wear the chain I forged in life." I wonder what "chain" a lot of people drag with them through life and how we can make it lighter.
I found, via Pandora, a singer I am enjoying. Her name is Corrinne May. Her voice is so sweet and clear, like a crystal bell. I am listening to her Christmas album, "The Gift" , or part of it, on youtube. I really need to buy it, so I have it.
I think I am finished baking cookies, at least for now. I will probably make a huge batch of fudgies for Christmas and maybe one kind of cookie. I need to see what my husband would like me to do, He is so sweet about helping me. This year I baked less than usual. My oven is quirky and burned some things. Probably needs a new thermostat. Gotta talk to the landlord. I made, sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin, chocolate chip, fruit cake, cranberry bread, haystacks, fudgies and fudge. I made chocolate chip cakes for my office mates. Taking it to work today, so I'd better pack and scoot. I have to get to the parking lot before 8:30 to get the discounted price!
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Christmas music
I know I talked about "Christmas Music" that isn't really Christmas Music ( I forgot to mention "My Favorite things" from the Sound of Music, love the song, just not about Christmas)
I have been trying to get into the Christmas spirit, by listening to music that evokes the religious aspect of the holiday. I caught the tail end of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" last night, where Linus reads from Luke to remind Charlie Brown what Christmas is REALLY about; not presents and Santa or parties, but love. If you follow the Christian faith, Jesus birth was an act of God's great love for us. At Christmas, we should remember that and try to send that love out into the world, shouldn't we? Maybe try to remember to "keep Christmas in your heart all year long" as some hokey Hallmark movie told us to do. But it's true. At Christmas, we try to be nicer to one another. I look at this as a time of reflection and to say "thank you" to people who have been with me throughout the year. The tradition of obligatory gifts smacks me as wrong. My gifts, albeit baked things mostly these days, are gifts from my heart. I hope people enjoy them.
But as usual, I digress from my main thought which is, what songs are resonating with me this year. I heard a song called "The Answer" yesterday on Pandora. So beautiful, I need to look up the artist and get her music. Not a Christmas song either, but one about faith and love.
I have been singing "The First Noel" and "What Child Is This" in the car. I need to find my Holiday Harmony cd from my favorite band in the world, America. They have a beautiful rendition of "The First Noel" Some of the songs on the cd irritate me, but that one and "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas" does it for me. I have said it before and it bears repeating that it is NOT Christmas in my house until Nat King Cole sings "The Christmas Song" aka "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire". Chris made me stop what I was doing last night and just sit quietly and hold his hand while the song played. He saw that I needed to slow down a bit. I am too busy these days and need the quiet moments, no matter how brief. I think I need to do less and in the coming months will be looking at just how to do that!
I have been trying to get into the Christmas spirit, by listening to music that evokes the religious aspect of the holiday. I caught the tail end of "A Charlie Brown Christmas" last night, where Linus reads from Luke to remind Charlie Brown what Christmas is REALLY about; not presents and Santa or parties, but love. If you follow the Christian faith, Jesus birth was an act of God's great love for us. At Christmas, we should remember that and try to send that love out into the world, shouldn't we? Maybe try to remember to "keep Christmas in your heart all year long" as some hokey Hallmark movie told us to do. But it's true. At Christmas, we try to be nicer to one another. I look at this as a time of reflection and to say "thank you" to people who have been with me throughout the year. The tradition of obligatory gifts smacks me as wrong. My gifts, albeit baked things mostly these days, are gifts from my heart. I hope people enjoy them.
But as usual, I digress from my main thought which is, what songs are resonating with me this year. I heard a song called "The Answer" yesterday on Pandora. So beautiful, I need to look up the artist and get her music. Not a Christmas song either, but one about faith and love.
I have been singing "The First Noel" and "What Child Is This" in the car. I need to find my Holiday Harmony cd from my favorite band in the world, America. They have a beautiful rendition of "The First Noel" Some of the songs on the cd irritate me, but that one and "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas" does it for me. I have said it before and it bears repeating that it is NOT Christmas in my house until Nat King Cole sings "The Christmas Song" aka "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire". Chris made me stop what I was doing last night and just sit quietly and hold his hand while the song played. He saw that I needed to slow down a bit. I am too busy these days and need the quiet moments, no matter how brief. I think I need to do less and in the coming months will be looking at just how to do that!
Saturday, December 13, 2014
I'm making a list and checking it twice
These days, I can't seem to remember all the things I need to do, so I have become a list-maker extraordinaire. At work, I have little "p-slips" as they used to be called with stuff to do all over them. When I complete the task, I toss it in the recycle bin. Very satisfying at the end of the day to toss all those notes in the bin. At home I make a list of things and put it by the computer. I check things off and cross them out and when I am done I recycle that list too. Sometimes I don't get everything on the list done and have to decide whether to forget about doing it or transfer it to a new list.
I do too much.
I admit it. There is too much on my plate and I have NO idea how NOT to do what I think I need to do. Today I am baking cookies, packing and driving out to my daughter's house. We are supposed to go shopping at the outlets and then I am coming home tomorrow. It's a lot of driving. I am not looking forward to it, but I AM looking forward to seeing my little Squeaker. Just to snuggle a bit with my boy. He's getting big and doing all kinds of things.
How did Christmas get here so fast?
I am so not ready for it. I am trying to get into the "Christmas Spirit" but the pace of my life these days will not slow down enough for me to enjoy it. As a child, Christmas couldn't get here soon enough. As an adult,it's here before you know it. I've done SOME of my shopping, but the real baking can't begin until next week and I have three days to do it. I need to make a list ( see, a list!) of what I need to bake and what I need them for, so I can get myself scheduled and bake efficiently. Traditionally, I make oatmeal, chocolate chip and sugar cookies. I make fudgies for my husband and haystacks. I bake fruitcake that people REALLY like, and pumpkin bread and brownie bites. This year I am adding the five-minute fudge to the mix. I will probably be baking cookies Monday and Tuesday, the breads on Wednesday. I don't need to make as much as I have done in the past; one year I baked 90 dozen. This year maybe 5-6 dozen of each will do. My list will help! I usually give to neighbors and friends and take some in to work.
Want some cookies? Let me know! I'll add you to my list.
I do too much.
I admit it. There is too much on my plate and I have NO idea how NOT to do what I think I need to do. Today I am baking cookies, packing and driving out to my daughter's house. We are supposed to go shopping at the outlets and then I am coming home tomorrow. It's a lot of driving. I am not looking forward to it, but I AM looking forward to seeing my little Squeaker. Just to snuggle a bit with my boy. He's getting big and doing all kinds of things.
How did Christmas get here so fast?
I am so not ready for it. I am trying to get into the "Christmas Spirit" but the pace of my life these days will not slow down enough for me to enjoy it. As a child, Christmas couldn't get here soon enough. As an adult,it's here before you know it. I've done SOME of my shopping, but the real baking can't begin until next week and I have three days to do it. I need to make a list ( see, a list!) of what I need to bake and what I need them for, so I can get myself scheduled and bake efficiently. Traditionally, I make oatmeal, chocolate chip and sugar cookies. I make fudgies for my husband and haystacks. I bake fruitcake that people REALLY like, and pumpkin bread and brownie bites. This year I am adding the five-minute fudge to the mix. I will probably be baking cookies Monday and Tuesday, the breads on Wednesday. I don't need to make as much as I have done in the past; one year I baked 90 dozen. This year maybe 5-6 dozen of each will do. My list will help! I usually give to neighbors and friends and take some in to work.
Want some cookies? Let me know! I'll add you to my list.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
black, white and stupid
I wonder why people are trying so hard these days to make a racial "thing" out of everything. Isn't there enough REAL racism in the world today without looking for it in anything mentioning a color that is ascribed to a race?
Cases in point:
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, there was a meme going around about how "Black Friday" referred to the selling off of blacks the day after Thanksgiving to other owners, essentially holding a "Fire sale" of humans and how we should NOT participate to honor those slaves. The MAJOR flaw in that thinking is that Abraham Lincoln, remember him- the Emancipation Proclamation guy?- was the one who created Thanksgiving as a national Holiday. So.. there was NO big selling off of blacks, who were called "Negros" as a more common generic term during that period in time, if I remember my history. Black Friday is a term from BUSINESS, meaning that the sales put them "in the black" and they had made a profit. Black ink was a good thing in the ledger book.
A few years ago, Pixar announced it was developing a film, tentatively called "Brave" a small group of Native Americans, without bothering to discern the plot, protested Pixar's exploitation of Native Americans. The film was about a red-haired Scottish girl. There were lot of Scottish stereotypes in the film, but those exist in literature as comic relief or to move the story along, don't they? You don't say everyone behaves this way, but you paint a character with a large and somewhat unbelievable brush to make the tale move.
White Christmas????? There is a huge protest about the singing of the song in New York recently. Uh.... it's about SNOW and a nostalgia for the snowy Christmas of the past. It has nothing to do with pale people like myself celebrating the birth of Christ with only other pale people like myself.
I think we should look at real issues and try not to make a mountain out of a molehill, although I will admit to being hacked off at the term "Paddy Wagon" that was used by LAPD as a St Patrick's Day free ride program. "Paddy" is a pejorative term for an Irishman. Every year I would call and talk to the officer in charge about how insulting that was to Irish people. He didn't care, but eventually they stopped using it. The inference that they needed a special vehicle to lock up all the drunken Irishmen was not something that should have been associated with what is for Irish Catholics, a holy day. Here in America, it's a day to drink green beer.
Don't get me started on the little "Fighting Irish" guy that represents Notre Dame.....
Cases in point:
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, there was a meme going around about how "Black Friday" referred to the selling off of blacks the day after Thanksgiving to other owners, essentially holding a "Fire sale" of humans and how we should NOT participate to honor those slaves. The MAJOR flaw in that thinking is that Abraham Lincoln, remember him- the Emancipation Proclamation guy?- was the one who created Thanksgiving as a national Holiday. So.. there was NO big selling off of blacks, who were called "Negros" as a more common generic term during that period in time, if I remember my history. Black Friday is a term from BUSINESS, meaning that the sales put them "in the black" and they had made a profit. Black ink was a good thing in the ledger book.
A few years ago, Pixar announced it was developing a film, tentatively called "Brave" a small group of Native Americans, without bothering to discern the plot, protested Pixar's exploitation of Native Americans. The film was about a red-haired Scottish girl. There were lot of Scottish stereotypes in the film, but those exist in literature as comic relief or to move the story along, don't they? You don't say everyone behaves this way, but you paint a character with a large and somewhat unbelievable brush to make the tale move.
White Christmas????? There is a huge protest about the singing of the song in New York recently. Uh.... it's about SNOW and a nostalgia for the snowy Christmas of the past. It has nothing to do with pale people like myself celebrating the birth of Christ with only other pale people like myself.
I think we should look at real issues and try not to make a mountain out of a molehill, although I will admit to being hacked off at the term "Paddy Wagon" that was used by LAPD as a St Patrick's Day free ride program. "Paddy" is a pejorative term for an Irishman. Every year I would call and talk to the officer in charge about how insulting that was to Irish people. He didn't care, but eventually they stopped using it. The inference that they needed a special vehicle to lock up all the drunken Irishmen was not something that should have been associated with what is for Irish Catholics, a holy day. Here in America, it's a day to drink green beer.
Don't get me started on the little "Fighting Irish" guy that represents Notre Dame.....
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Keyboard warriors
The Executive Director of my union used the phrase "Keyboard Warrior" to define people who sit and complain on the web or via email, but don't actually DO anything about the problem. In the last week, I have received TWO such missives from people regarding a group I am involved in. I would like to answer them in a snarky way but must maintain my professional distance, however I am feeling a bit evil so here is a generic response.
"Thank you so much for taking time to point out the obvious. Your powers of observation are astonishing. Are you a genius? Without your keen insight to the problem we have been working to resolve for the last several months, we would NEVER have KNOWN there was a problem. Your offer of help.. wait there was no offer of help in your letter...let me start that again.. your solution to the problem was... oh WAIT AGAIN, you didn't OFFER a solution, you just sat at your keyboard and complained. Gee, THAT was helpful of you. I suppose I should just say, thank you for your input. Do you also bring coals to Newcastle?"
There I feel better.
When a problem appears, if I complain to the management, I often am sympathetic and try to offer some sort of remedy. It's something I learned in business practices early on. A co-worker warned me NEVER to go to a certain boss with a problem unless I had one or two possible solutions. He said it showed her that I was thinking about it, not just reacting to it. I am, by nature, a problem solver which has served me well in my current job and in many facets of my life. I hope never to be considered a "Keyboard Warrior" but a do-er in the world.
"Thank you so much for taking time to point out the obvious. Your powers of observation are astonishing. Are you a genius? Without your keen insight to the problem we have been working to resolve for the last several months, we would NEVER have KNOWN there was a problem. Your offer of help.. wait there was no offer of help in your letter...let me start that again.. your solution to the problem was... oh WAIT AGAIN, you didn't OFFER a solution, you just sat at your keyboard and complained. Gee, THAT was helpful of you. I suppose I should just say, thank you for your input. Do you also bring coals to Newcastle?"
There I feel better.
When a problem appears, if I complain to the management, I often am sympathetic and try to offer some sort of remedy. It's something I learned in business practices early on. A co-worker warned me NEVER to go to a certain boss with a problem unless I had one or two possible solutions. He said it showed her that I was thinking about it, not just reacting to it. I am, by nature, a problem solver which has served me well in my current job and in many facets of my life. I hope never to be considered a "Keyboard Warrior" but a do-er in the world.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
"Christmas" songs
Well, it's that time of year again. Everywhere you go they are playing "Christmas " music. Some of it is so awful, I wan to flee the place where I am just to get away from it. It seems everyone who ever sang has recorded some kind of Christmas song. Some of them are quite good. I love James Taylor's "Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas" for instance, but I love James' voice so MOST things he does are just fine with me. We were in a restaurant and they were treating us to "Country" Christmas. Some of it was ok, but one song had so much vibrato on every single note, it was painful. I think it was Carrie Underwood, who has a nice voice in most circumstances. Chris and I leaned in closer to talk to block the noise out.
It got me thinking about the songs we sing at Christmas and what "Christmas" songs are not really about Christmas. I don't mean songs that don't talk about the birth of Jesus, which despite rampant consumerism, is the meaning behind the holiday. The word holiday itself comes from "holy day" , doesn't it? So in no particular order:
Winter Wonderland. Yeah. Go back and listen to it. No mention of Christmas.
Jingle Bells. All about a sleigh ride.
Sleigh Ride. Ditto.
Good King Wenceslas. One of my favorite "carols" to sing when I go caroling, which I have not done in ages. It does not mention Christmas, but does talk about "the Feast of Stephen" which is the day AFTER Christmas.
Let it Snow. It's about a hot date.
Frosty the Snowman. This goes without saying, but it shows up at "Christmas" concerts on a regular basis.
I will be doing my holiday baking in the next week or so. I am baking for the McGroarty Holiday Boutique, where we will be doing a cookie decorating booth on Sunday; Saturday is the Chili-bowl sale and a bake sale. I am not sure what I am baking for that, depends on my mood, I suppose. I will be listening to Christmas music as I bake. As always, Nat King Cole will usher in the season for me. It is NOT Christmas in my house until Nat sings. I bake a lot over the holidays. I know I will be baking my mom's fruitcake. Before you knee-jerk about fruitcake, I have to tell you it's really good ( or I wouldn't bake it, you don't catch me making stollen, which is just god-awful) Stop by the house and I will load you up on cookies!
It got me thinking about the songs we sing at Christmas and what "Christmas" songs are not really about Christmas. I don't mean songs that don't talk about the birth of Jesus, which despite rampant consumerism, is the meaning behind the holiday. The word holiday itself comes from "holy day" , doesn't it? So in no particular order:
Winter Wonderland. Yeah. Go back and listen to it. No mention of Christmas.
Jingle Bells. All about a sleigh ride.
Sleigh Ride. Ditto.
Good King Wenceslas. One of my favorite "carols" to sing when I go caroling, which I have not done in ages. It does not mention Christmas, but does talk about "the Feast of Stephen" which is the day AFTER Christmas.
Let it Snow. It's about a hot date.
Frosty the Snowman. This goes without saying, but it shows up at "Christmas" concerts on a regular basis.
I will be doing my holiday baking in the next week or so. I am baking for the McGroarty Holiday Boutique, where we will be doing a cookie decorating booth on Sunday; Saturday is the Chili-bowl sale and a bake sale. I am not sure what I am baking for that, depends on my mood, I suppose. I will be listening to Christmas music as I bake. As always, Nat King Cole will usher in the season for me. It is NOT Christmas in my house until Nat sings. I bake a lot over the holidays. I know I will be baking my mom's fruitcake. Before you knee-jerk about fruitcake, I have to tell you it's really good ( or I wouldn't bake it, you don't catch me making stollen, which is just god-awful) Stop by the house and I will load you up on cookies!
Monday, December 1, 2014
What happened to manners?
I swear, I think I am getting old. I wonder these days what ever happened to common civility and manners. Can I blame technology?
People walk down the street with their eyes glued to the screen on their phone; they don't look where they are going. When you say, rather loudly "EXCUSE ME" before they barrel into you, they look up and often times as not GLARE at you, as if YOU are the problem. Heaven forbid you should interrupt their VERY IMPORTANT text message about a sale at Macy's.... My husband calls it the Zombie apocalypse.
More than once this weekend, in restaurants, I have wanted to walk over to grown adults and say "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE" This is particularly true of people who still do the "cell yell" I am not sitting with you, I don't need to hear the details of your conversation from across the room. One woman was having a conversation with a woman she was sitting with at a tiny table that was so loud I wondered if she were talking on her cell phone, but no she was shouting at her dinner companion about a party she was planning. I wanted to ask her what time we should all be there and what I should bring.
As we approach the frantic holiday season, even the grocery store is hard to navigate. Every year I complain that there is so much CRAP piled in the aisles that you can't get a cart down it. I have been know to move displays to the center of the aisle to get to the thing one the shelf - that is NOT what is in the display- and LEAVE IT THERE. Complaint to the store, only result in change for the moment. Once they had so much product piled in front of the shelves you couldn't GET to the shelves. Any of them in this particular aisle. I realize you may have too much stock, but you aren't going to sell it that way. Sometimes I worry that the place is a fire hazard, or the Collyer Mansion.
My invisibility superpower is in full force in the stores. Yesterday, this woman sailed her cart down the center of the aisle, almost hitting me. "EXCUSE ME! I called out to her, as proper manners SHOULD have elicited a similar response, but NO, she didn't even acknowledge my presence. Hmm, I wonder how I can use this superpower for good in the coming month of holiday insanity. I have to think about that one.
People walk down the street with their eyes glued to the screen on their phone; they don't look where they are going. When you say, rather loudly "EXCUSE ME" before they barrel into you, they look up and often times as not GLARE at you, as if YOU are the problem. Heaven forbid you should interrupt their VERY IMPORTANT text message about a sale at Macy's.... My husband calls it the Zombie apocalypse.
More than once this weekend, in restaurants, I have wanted to walk over to grown adults and say "USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE" This is particularly true of people who still do the "cell yell" I am not sitting with you, I don't need to hear the details of your conversation from across the room. One woman was having a conversation with a woman she was sitting with at a tiny table that was so loud I wondered if she were talking on her cell phone, but no she was shouting at her dinner companion about a party she was planning. I wanted to ask her what time we should all be there and what I should bring.
As we approach the frantic holiday season, even the grocery store is hard to navigate. Every year I complain that there is so much CRAP piled in the aisles that you can't get a cart down it. I have been know to move displays to the center of the aisle to get to the thing one the shelf - that is NOT what is in the display- and LEAVE IT THERE. Complaint to the store, only result in change for the moment. Once they had so much product piled in front of the shelves you couldn't GET to the shelves. Any of them in this particular aisle. I realize you may have too much stock, but you aren't going to sell it that way. Sometimes I worry that the place is a fire hazard, or the Collyer Mansion.
My invisibility superpower is in full force in the stores. Yesterday, this woman sailed her cart down the center of the aisle, almost hitting me. "EXCUSE ME! I called out to her, as proper manners SHOULD have elicited a similar response, but NO, she didn't even acknowledge my presence. Hmm, I wonder how I can use this superpower for good in the coming month of holiday insanity. I have to think about that one.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Post Thanksgiving thoughts
It's been a busy few days and somewhere along the line, someone unplugged me. I haven't been a ball of energy lately. Maybe it's just revving as much as I have been doing over the past few weeks has finally caught up to me. I have a lot to do and no gumption to do it!
I am thankful that we were able to share Thanksgiving day with good friends. I cooked like a madwoman for two days, but everyone seemed to enjoy the meal and the conversation. My quirky oven burned my muffins a bit, but we were able to salvage them and everything went well. More than once, I wished my children and grandchild could have been at the table with us. My prayer, my ONLY wish for Christmas is that they will be able to join us in celebration of the holidays. Please add me to your prayers for this to become a reality for me.
I am considering what to do with the leftovers. I think turkey enchiladas, gnocchi with the rest of the mash and some sort of odd casserole with the green beans and stuffing- not all at once! I need to make broth to make my world famous BBQ chili. McGroarty is having their annual holiday boutique and we REALLY need to make a lot of money this year. As a non-profit, we have fallen into a cycle of NO grants and as we scramble to find alternative funding, things are difficult. We are managing, but it would be nice to have some breathing room! So, come up to the Center this weekend. I will be baking and cooking and.... well you get the idea. My favorite band in the world is playing locally on Sunday night and I thought " hey maybe I can go" but I KNOW I will be one tired little person on Sunday night and it's RUDE to sleep at a concert!
This blog may be a bit more confessional than usual, but I really need to get my thoughts out on "paper" ( even if it isn't paper) Thinking in print helps me focus on the task at hand. I have a lot to do as we prepare for the rest of the holiday season. I will remember to be thankful for the blessings I have, for the peaceful home, warm clothes and food. I am thankful for the friends I have and the work I continue to do, both as a career and as a volunteer. I am hopeful that putting good out in the world will impact those I love and those I never know. I still have a "Hippy-dippy" sensibility about the world, and although I may seem naive to some, I think I am just hopeful. I try to see the good side, even though I must acknowledge the negative side of things. To paraphrase Jim Croce "You can't have a rainbow without the rain"
I am thankful that we were able to share Thanksgiving day with good friends. I cooked like a madwoman for two days, but everyone seemed to enjoy the meal and the conversation. My quirky oven burned my muffins a bit, but we were able to salvage them and everything went well. More than once, I wished my children and grandchild could have been at the table with us. My prayer, my ONLY wish for Christmas is that they will be able to join us in celebration of the holidays. Please add me to your prayers for this to become a reality for me.
I am considering what to do with the leftovers. I think turkey enchiladas, gnocchi with the rest of the mash and some sort of odd casserole with the green beans and stuffing- not all at once! I need to make broth to make my world famous BBQ chili. McGroarty is having their annual holiday boutique and we REALLY need to make a lot of money this year. As a non-profit, we have fallen into a cycle of NO grants and as we scramble to find alternative funding, things are difficult. We are managing, but it would be nice to have some breathing room! So, come up to the Center this weekend. I will be baking and cooking and.... well you get the idea. My favorite band in the world is playing locally on Sunday night and I thought " hey maybe I can go" but I KNOW I will be one tired little person on Sunday night and it's RUDE to sleep at a concert!
This blog may be a bit more confessional than usual, but I really need to get my thoughts out on "paper" ( even if it isn't paper) Thinking in print helps me focus on the task at hand. I have a lot to do as we prepare for the rest of the holiday season. I will remember to be thankful for the blessings I have, for the peaceful home, warm clothes and food. I am thankful for the friends I have and the work I continue to do, both as a career and as a volunteer. I am hopeful that putting good out in the world will impact those I love and those I never know. I still have a "Hippy-dippy" sensibility about the world, and although I may seem naive to some, I think I am just hopeful. I try to see the good side, even though I must acknowledge the negative side of things. To paraphrase Jim Croce "You can't have a rainbow without the rain"
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Tuesday Thoughts
I consider myself to be a mostly happy person. I can usually find something positive, even in the worst situations; but lately I find I have been a bit.. sad. Probably the advent of the season and hormonal issues, but there it is. I have been hearing the last line of a poem I read once "You have wasted your life" It makes me wonder, HAVE I wasted my life? Not really, but there were so many things I thought I wanted to do, I need to take time and see what of them are still possible and what was just a silly aspiration that had no basis in reality.
I probably never will write "the Great American Novel" I just don't know how I would start that. I took classes in short story writing and frankly I suck at that. I try from time to time, but my plots are weak and my character development is nil. I know that. Still I think I enjoyed the process and if I ever have a brilliant story to tell, well, there may be something to it.
I need to look at all the little things that make up my life. I always say if you wait to celebrate only the BIG ones, you will never celebrate anything, so here are some random thoughts;
My daughter is happily married with a baby, which was what she wanted most of all. She made it through a rough time, when my marriage to her father shattered, but she got through it. We talk all the time.
I am married to a man who puts up with my crap. He is loving and supportive and always encourages me to find my art. So far, my "art" includes this blog and the creation of a "small bites" menu of food that is quick to cook and fun to serve.
I own a plot of land in Ireland. Sure it's a 1' x1' square of sod somewhere in County Roscommon, but I do own it. lol. Chris bought it for me for our anniversary ( apparently, my day to water is Thursday...)
My work, even though it is overwhelming at times, is important to the daily operations of libraries. I know I am helping when I can get something fixed that makes it possible for people to have free access to all the wonders of a library. Am I saving the planet? No, but maybe because of what I do, I am saving one person.
You never know what good you put out in the world and how that ripple will affect others by it's action. There's a line from a Jackson Browne song "Somewhere between the time you arrive and the time you go may lie a reason you were alive that you'll never know" Most of us can never really know what our actions do in the world, we can only hope that throwing out positives, we can make the life of someone better.
I probably never will write "the Great American Novel" I just don't know how I would start that. I took classes in short story writing and frankly I suck at that. I try from time to time, but my plots are weak and my character development is nil. I know that. Still I think I enjoyed the process and if I ever have a brilliant story to tell, well, there may be something to it.
I need to look at all the little things that make up my life. I always say if you wait to celebrate only the BIG ones, you will never celebrate anything, so here are some random thoughts;
My daughter is happily married with a baby, which was what she wanted most of all. She made it through a rough time, when my marriage to her father shattered, but she got through it. We talk all the time.
I am married to a man who puts up with my crap. He is loving and supportive and always encourages me to find my art. So far, my "art" includes this blog and the creation of a "small bites" menu of food that is quick to cook and fun to serve.
I own a plot of land in Ireland. Sure it's a 1' x1' square of sod somewhere in County Roscommon, but I do own it. lol. Chris bought it for me for our anniversary ( apparently, my day to water is Thursday...)
My work, even though it is overwhelming at times, is important to the daily operations of libraries. I know I am helping when I can get something fixed that makes it possible for people to have free access to all the wonders of a library. Am I saving the planet? No, but maybe because of what I do, I am saving one person.
You never know what good you put out in the world and how that ripple will affect others by it's action. There's a line from a Jackson Browne song "Somewhere between the time you arrive and the time you go may lie a reason you were alive that you'll never know" Most of us can never really know what our actions do in the world, we can only hope that throwing out positives, we can make the life of someone better.
Friday, November 21, 2014
Most Thankful
I know my most fervent reader and commenter, Tom is waiting for this....
I am MOST thankful , that five years ago today, I married my very best friend, my lover, my heart, Christopher Myers. Life has thrown us both a few curve balls, but we stand together against them. He was my rock when four months after our joyful wedding day, I was devastated by the loss of my beloved father. We disagree sometimes, but we do not fight and yell at each other. I NEVER ever wake up afraid, which has not always been the case. He loves me and I can tell him anything without fear of his reaction. Happy isn't even close to what I feel.
I don't know what I did to deserve this man in my life. People ask if he has a brother. Yes he does, several actually. They are scattered all over the country and I only know them slightly. Chris is one of a kind, however. Smart, sweet, funny, gentle, thoughtful, ok you get the picture.
Thank you, Chris, for marrying me and putting up with my quirky self. I am looking forward to many more years of this kind of life with you. No matter what life throws at us, sweetheart, as long as we are together, it's all good.
I am MOST thankful , that five years ago today, I married my very best friend, my lover, my heart, Christopher Myers. Life has thrown us both a few curve balls, but we stand together against them. He was my rock when four months after our joyful wedding day, I was devastated by the loss of my beloved father. We disagree sometimes, but we do not fight and yell at each other. I NEVER ever wake up afraid, which has not always been the case. He loves me and I can tell him anything without fear of his reaction. Happy isn't even close to what I feel.
I don't know what I did to deserve this man in my life. People ask if he has a brother. Yes he does, several actually. They are scattered all over the country and I only know them slightly. Chris is one of a kind, however. Smart, sweet, funny, gentle, thoughtful, ok you get the picture.
Thank you, Chris, for marrying me and putting up with my quirky self. I am looking forward to many more years of this kind of life with you. No matter what life throws at us, sweetheart, as long as we are together, it's all good.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
The Power of Prayer ( or love or positive thought, whatever you want to call it...)
Faith is a curious thing. In the last few weeks, things have happened that I can only chalk up to the power of belief and the Universe having balance on the good side. If you have been reading this blog, you know that I went out to watch the building of a "forever home" for my friends Lloyd Debbie and Cody. I have to tell you that over the last year or so, I believe that so many people were praying for them that the universe, or God if you will,said "OK OK I'll DO something!"
It got me to thinking about how different faiths and beliefs all focus on the same idea. That if enough people pray,think, wish, for something, it comes to pass. Now, some people will credit God, some people will credit the Universe and some will say it is the power of the human mind manifesting a thought into action. Isn't it really all the same thing? We believe, and if we give over our beliefs in such a way that it cannot be otherwise, then it comes to pass.
So I am setting MY intentions toward the highest good today, saying my prayers that two things that are important to me will be resolved. I have done all that I can do about them both and now must leave it up to God, the Universe, the Cosmos or chance for a resolution. If you have a moment today, think a good thought for me!
It got me to thinking about how different faiths and beliefs all focus on the same idea. That if enough people pray,think, wish, for something, it comes to pass. Now, some people will credit God, some people will credit the Universe and some will say it is the power of the human mind manifesting a thought into action. Isn't it really all the same thing? We believe, and if we give over our beliefs in such a way that it cannot be otherwise, then it comes to pass.
So I am setting MY intentions toward the highest good today, saying my prayers that two things that are important to me will be resolved. I have done all that I can do about them both and now must leave it up to God, the Universe, the Cosmos or chance for a resolution. If you have a moment today, think a good thought for me!
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
It's Wednesday and I am just getting around to this
This weekend I went out to 29 Palms to "help" with a house build. I can't say I was much help. I picked up debris, helped get food out to people, but mostly I stood around watching the house go up. They did it in three days. It was amazing. There were so many people there, all volunteer, working to build a home for the Tilch family. I knew Lloyd back in High School. We reconnected on Facebook and I talk with his sweet wife almost every day. His wife said in all seriousness, that I have complete opposite political views from them but we manage to remain friends. It's funny, but I know they are really conservative, and I am a card carrying liberal, but we do remain friends. We both state our case in a civilized manner and at some point change the subject. We each know that we will not change the others' mind and it's ok. Not everyone has to believe as I do. I appreciate viewpoints presented rationally and without name-calling or snide remarks about the level of my intelligence. I have "unfriended" a few people for that type of behavior. I enjoy reading what Lloyd has to say, even if he's WRONG ;).
I am thankful beyond words that this blessing- and it IS a blessing- was bestowed on this family. I was interviewed for a documentary they are doing and I said as much. These people are the salt of the earth. They will help YOU if they can. They never publicly wrung their hands and threw a pity party. They asked for prayers and kept their faith. This happened. It is a wonderful thing. The interviewer asked me how this affected the family. I said that Lloyd looked "lighter" than he had, even in the past six weeks; like a great weight has been lifted from him. I know this will be a good thing for them and for those they love.
I am thankful I could go and be a part of this. It also gave me some "Bobby time" with my squeaker. He's getting so big. He's such a sweet child. I was able to spend some time alone with him while his parents went out to get a bite to eat. They need some alone time and I needed some Bobby time!
I am thankful beyond words that this blessing- and it IS a blessing- was bestowed on this family. I was interviewed for a documentary they are doing and I said as much. These people are the salt of the earth. They will help YOU if they can. They never publicly wrung their hands and threw a pity party. They asked for prayers and kept their faith. This happened. It is a wonderful thing. The interviewer asked me how this affected the family. I said that Lloyd looked "lighter" than he had, even in the past six weeks; like a great weight has been lifted from him. I know this will be a good thing for them and for those they love.
I am thankful I could go and be a part of this. It also gave me some "Bobby time" with my squeaker. He's getting so big. He's such a sweet child. I was able to spend some time alone with him while his parents went out to get a bite to eat. They need some alone time and I needed some Bobby time!
Friday, November 14, 2014
Women in the public eye
When did it become acceptable to pick on Michelle Obama? Social Media, the Court of Public Opinion, is blasting Michelle for her campaign to get better food choices into schools. WHY is good food for kids a hot button issue? Let's see...... The kids won't eat it and the toss it out, then they are hungry. Hmmm, when I was a kid, if I threw out food my mother would have whipped my butt not said "Oh you poor thing, you need a Happy Meal" The kids complain it's not enough- or at least that is what one group is posting, pictures of half empty trays. you can SEE where the food was removed from the tray. Honestly. My mother packed a lunch for me when I went to school. People these days think they are entitled to things and need to be taken care of by government, but complain when what they get isn't what they think they deserve. Michelle Obama is at the eye of the storm because she had the nerve to make childhood obesity her "cause".
Almost every First Lady had a publicly stated cause, that they supported. People say "well I didn't vote for her" DUH! And she ISN'T GETTING PAID for this! The "job" of First Lady is an unpaid position. She's expected to work on something, but not be paid for it.
I wonder about the women who have been in that position, at least in my memory. Jackie Kennedy, who took on making the White House an American showplace, Lady Bird Johnson who ran the "Beautify America" Campaign. Nancy Reagan with "Just say No" ( I doubt she came up with that one on her own) Hillary Clinton was trying to improve healthcare, but she had an uphill battle with that one. Betty Ford championed Breast Cancer and later substance abuse, having battled both. I had to look up Pat Nixon to see what here "Cause" was. She didn't rally have one, just what she termed "quiet diplomacy" She traveled with Tricky Dicky and probably humanized him to some degree. It has been said that the private Nixon was a lot different from the public one. I just know I was not thrilled with him as a president.
So, I am thankful ( see, you knew I would get there) for women who choose to take on the role of First Lady and to take the nonsense that is thrown at them for this unpaid job with their heads held high. I think the fact that Michelle Obama got us talking about the problem of childhood obesity and what can be done about it is a good thing, no matter WHAT her detractors might say.
Almost every First Lady had a publicly stated cause, that they supported. People say "well I didn't vote for her" DUH! And she ISN'T GETTING PAID for this! The "job" of First Lady is an unpaid position. She's expected to work on something, but not be paid for it.
I wonder about the women who have been in that position, at least in my memory. Jackie Kennedy, who took on making the White House an American showplace, Lady Bird Johnson who ran the "Beautify America" Campaign. Nancy Reagan with "Just say No" ( I doubt she came up with that one on her own) Hillary Clinton was trying to improve healthcare, but she had an uphill battle with that one. Betty Ford championed Breast Cancer and later substance abuse, having battled both. I had to look up Pat Nixon to see what here "Cause" was. She didn't rally have one, just what she termed "quiet diplomacy" She traveled with Tricky Dicky and probably humanized him to some degree. It has been said that the private Nixon was a lot different from the public one. I just know I was not thrilled with him as a president.
So, I am thankful ( see, you knew I would get there) for women who choose to take on the role of First Lady and to take the nonsense that is thrown at them for this unpaid job with their heads held high. I think the fact that Michelle Obama got us talking about the problem of childhood obesity and what can be done about it is a good thing, no matter WHAT her detractors might say.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
When I think back on all the crap I learned in High School....
This morning, I am thinking about the teachers- both good and bad-who shaped my life. I had the chance, via Facebook, to reconnect with one who was very influential and to thank him for what he did for me. I often think of the lessons I learn from Don Wulffson. Not that the man actually HAD a lesson plan ;) , but the taught us individually. Admittedly, I was in the Creative Writing class and I think that type of class is more "free form" than any other. You don't sign up for "Creative Writing" unless you already have a writer's mind and a possible project to work on.. He took the time to talk with us and grow us as readers and writers. He did the most important thing a teacher could do. He helped us believe in ourselves. He helped us see our talent. This was one of the most creative periods of my school years. I wrote all the time. Some of it was utter crap, but some of it was exactly what I wanted to say. I learned editing skills. At one point in my life, I wanted to BE an editor. That didn't pan out, but I use the skills I learned in my work almost every day. I am thankful I got the chance to express my gratitude.
It got me thinking about "bad" teachers. I have had a few whose teaching style scarred me for life. My sixth grade teacher, for instance. Looking back, I see how brilliant he was and I learned how to learn, but the man terrified me. I was always a good student, but something in his manner always frightened me. I remember being afraid a lot in class. I wouldn't say he was a bad teacher, it was just a really unpleasant year.
Then there was the teacher- who had been my teacher the year before- who decided to put on a Cinco de Mayo Festival and we were taught a song that we would sing and then learn a dance. Each class year would do something. Well SOMETHING happened and SHE decided that only the Hispanic kids would be allowed to participate in the festival. So, while the rest of us non-Hispanic kids were pouring over math lessons, the Hispanic kids were out in the sunshine dancing and laughing and having a good time. Somehow that still seems unfair for all of us. It didn't teach us anything except to give us a first-hand lesson in segregation. Way to go!
I've had teacher ( mostly male gym teachers) who thought it was a waste of time to try to teach girls anything. The exception for that would have been Sam DeJohn, who was the AP History teacher. His lessons in taking "blue book exams" were so fierce, but when I got to college and all the freshmen around me were freaking out, I was unperturbed and calm. After all, I had been doing this type of exam since tenth grade.
I consider myself fortunate to have had some wonderful teacher. At one point, one of my English Professors at CSUN thought I might make a good teacher and advanced my name for the new speed credential program. It was NOT a good fit for me, and I will never forget the discomfort on the face of my Master Teacher, as she met with me that final day. I had already decided it was not my calling- actually I had decided it early on, but completed the semester as I needed the units to graduate. I laughed as I told her, before she could tell ME, that I was not going to continue with the program. I think the students of the world caught a break there!
So my "thankful" today is for teachers. They say you learn just as much from a bad one as a good one and I suppose that is true on some level. I remember the lessons in living most of all.
It got me thinking about "bad" teachers. I have had a few whose teaching style scarred me for life. My sixth grade teacher, for instance. Looking back, I see how brilliant he was and I learned how to learn, but the man terrified me. I was always a good student, but something in his manner always frightened me. I remember being afraid a lot in class. I wouldn't say he was a bad teacher, it was just a really unpleasant year.
Then there was the teacher- who had been my teacher the year before- who decided to put on a Cinco de Mayo Festival and we were taught a song that we would sing and then learn a dance. Each class year would do something. Well SOMETHING happened and SHE decided that only the Hispanic kids would be allowed to participate in the festival. So, while the rest of us non-Hispanic kids were pouring over math lessons, the Hispanic kids were out in the sunshine dancing and laughing and having a good time. Somehow that still seems unfair for all of us. It didn't teach us anything except to give us a first-hand lesson in segregation. Way to go!
I've had teacher ( mostly male gym teachers) who thought it was a waste of time to try to teach girls anything. The exception for that would have been Sam DeJohn, who was the AP History teacher. His lessons in taking "blue book exams" were so fierce, but when I got to college and all the freshmen around me were freaking out, I was unperturbed and calm. After all, I had been doing this type of exam since tenth grade.
I consider myself fortunate to have had some wonderful teacher. At one point, one of my English Professors at CSUN thought I might make a good teacher and advanced my name for the new speed credential program. It was NOT a good fit for me, and I will never forget the discomfort on the face of my Master Teacher, as she met with me that final day. I had already decided it was not my calling- actually I had decided it early on, but completed the semester as I needed the units to graduate. I laughed as I told her, before she could tell ME, that I was not going to continue with the program. I think the students of the world caught a break there!
So my "thankful" today is for teachers. They say you learn just as much from a bad one as a good one and I suppose that is true on some level. I remember the lessons in living most of all.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Veteran's Day
November 11 was known as Armistice Day, celebrating the end of World War I, the "war to end all wars" Nice idea, but it didn't work out. On this day, known as Veteran's Day, We should all take a moment to reflect on the sacrifices made by a few, for the better of all.
I can trace my Myers ancestry back to the American Revolution. My earliest "Myers" American was Jacob, who had been a farmer in Pennsylvania. I located his service records, finding he was at Valley Forge with Washington. In a "sick tent", but there he was. Benjamin, his grandson, fought on the Union side of the Civil War. My grandfather was drafted during World War I , but through a series of confusing stories, I am given to understand that he never served. He apparently just walked out of the camp and didn't go back. I think there must be more to the story than that, but that's the one he told my Dad. My Dad was in Europe in World War II, most notably at the Battle of the Bulge. He told some funny stories about some of his wartime exploits. He was constantly being promoted, then demoted for some infraction. He said "The Old Man came by and said "Myers! Why haven't you sewn on your stripes?" My Dad replied "You'll just rip them off in a week or so." He said the Old Man shrugged and agreed with him.
Movies tend to romanticize war. It is the least romantic thing I can think of. The fear and the death and the pain are unimaginable. I thank those people who are brave enough to go through this. I appreciate your service. I try to make it a point to thank veterans, especially Vietnam vets, who didn't get the respect that they deserved. THAT was a thankless war and the soldiers bore the brunt of it, both there and when they got home. Shameful treatment. I never hated the soldier, I hated the war.
So thank you to those who served and for those who continue to serve. Your sacrifice is not unnoticed.
I can trace my Myers ancestry back to the American Revolution. My earliest "Myers" American was Jacob, who had been a farmer in Pennsylvania. I located his service records, finding he was at Valley Forge with Washington. In a "sick tent", but there he was. Benjamin, his grandson, fought on the Union side of the Civil War. My grandfather was drafted during World War I , but through a series of confusing stories, I am given to understand that he never served. He apparently just walked out of the camp and didn't go back. I think there must be more to the story than that, but that's the one he told my Dad. My Dad was in Europe in World War II, most notably at the Battle of the Bulge. He told some funny stories about some of his wartime exploits. He was constantly being promoted, then demoted for some infraction. He said "The Old Man came by and said "Myers! Why haven't you sewn on your stripes?" My Dad replied "You'll just rip them off in a week or so." He said the Old Man shrugged and agreed with him.
Movies tend to romanticize war. It is the least romantic thing I can think of. The fear and the death and the pain are unimaginable. I thank those people who are brave enough to go through this. I appreciate your service. I try to make it a point to thank veterans, especially Vietnam vets, who didn't get the respect that they deserved. THAT was a thankless war and the soldiers bore the brunt of it, both there and when they got home. Shameful treatment. I never hated the soldier, I hated the war.
So thank you to those who served and for those who continue to serve. Your sacrifice is not unnoticed.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Thinking about this "project"
Every year in November, I try to enumerate the things I am thankful for. This year I thought I wanted to do three a day and now am so woefully behind, I will never really catch up unless I change the way I approach the "lesson" My original intent was to list the three things and talk about them. I have decided the list ONE thing and talk at length about it. Two things MAY appear, maybe even three, but I am giving myself permission to focus on one thing. It's hard for me to do that, as I am a multitasker.
Without trying to be trite, I am thankful for the friends that I have. My friends are my "tribe" my family without blood ties. I have been truly blessed in life with stalwart friends who have had my back, even when I am sure I was a difficult person to live with. I am grateful. I will never forget what my friends did for me during my most troubled times, how they rallied me, made me laugh or just hugged me. My friends remind me that life is not always a storm, as it has been lately. They are my sounding board, my joy, my respite. They also know when to bring me up short when I am being ridiculous. I appreciate that too. I love "talking" to my friends online every day. I'm on Facebook probably more than I should be ( my house suffers from my lack of attention to it sometimes)
I am trying to get back more consistently into the craft of writing; not just this blog but dipping my toes back into poetry, which I used to enjoy writing. My work was what I considered to be minimalist, and I would try to say what I wanted without being too wordy and to select exactly the right single word to convey a thought or emotion. I need to get back to doing that again. Watch this space!
Without trying to be trite, I am thankful for the friends that I have. My friends are my "tribe" my family without blood ties. I have been truly blessed in life with stalwart friends who have had my back, even when I am sure I was a difficult person to live with. I am grateful. I will never forget what my friends did for me during my most troubled times, how they rallied me, made me laugh or just hugged me. My friends remind me that life is not always a storm, as it has been lately. They are my sounding board, my joy, my respite. They also know when to bring me up short when I am being ridiculous. I appreciate that too. I love "talking" to my friends online every day. I'm on Facebook probably more than I should be ( my house suffers from my lack of attention to it sometimes)
I am trying to get back more consistently into the craft of writing; not just this blog but dipping my toes back into poetry, which I used to enjoy writing. My work was what I considered to be minimalist, and I would try to say what I wanted without being too wordy and to select exactly the right single word to convey a thought or emotion. I need to get back to doing that again. Watch this space!
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Thankful, Day four
Ok. I know. Now I'm TWO days behind. In my own defense, yesterday I was doing a lot of writing for McGroarty Arts Center, along with gamely trying to get to work in a timely manner. I am tired and not sleeping very well. I am once again looking at the stressors in my life and trying to manage them in a more holistic way. Writing helps.
One of my most fervent readers chastised me for not posting my thankfulness for my husband or my "squeaker" yet. THAT is a given for me. Yes, I am thankful for my husband. We will celebrate FIVE years of marriage in a few weeks, and I will be gushing about him on our anniversary. As far as my grandson is concerned, if you are a Facebook Friend , you know I am also "all Bobby, all the time" about my "squeaker" I honestly need to come up with a better nickname for him- well BOBBY is a nickname, isn't it? He's just so DARN cute!!!!
Today, I am thankful for my co-workers. When you spend as much time in the company of someone, it helps to like them. Over the past three years, I have gotten to know and like the people I work with in many ways. We watch out for one another, share triumphs and tragedies. Sometimes, I feel like I am in the center of a storm. My work is NUTS and has gotten more so in the past few months. I do my best to provide the service I feel I should be, although I am only one person- and the ONLY person who does what I do. Recent events have gotten me seriously considering retirement, although my original plan was to do another six years. Sounds like a prison sentence ( "how long ya got left?" "six years") I will be taking a look at things in the next few months to really see how much longer i NEED to work. Since God didn't see fit to let me win the lottery, I just know I have to go in today.
After a very long but fruitful meeting last night , I am thankful to be able to contribute my time to McGroarty Arts Center. I don't take classes there- the ONE class I wanted to take this session is on a day I can't commit to- Thursdays- so I will wait for the Spring session and hope.
I am thankful for art and artists. I often wish I had a more artistic bent. I can't make a stick figure look realistic, but I can appreciate what the artist is doing. Some of it looks so "simple" but is deceptively so. I think it take a real master to make something look effortless. I want to take time to go to more museums and galleries. Looking at art is one of my more enjoyable activities.
One of my most fervent readers chastised me for not posting my thankfulness for my husband or my "squeaker" yet. THAT is a given for me. Yes, I am thankful for my husband. We will celebrate FIVE years of marriage in a few weeks, and I will be gushing about him on our anniversary. As far as my grandson is concerned, if you are a Facebook Friend , you know I am also "all Bobby, all the time" about my "squeaker" I honestly need to come up with a better nickname for him- well BOBBY is a nickname, isn't it? He's just so DARN cute!!!!
Today, I am thankful for my co-workers. When you spend as much time in the company of someone, it helps to like them. Over the past three years, I have gotten to know and like the people I work with in many ways. We watch out for one another, share triumphs and tragedies. Sometimes, I feel like I am in the center of a storm. My work is NUTS and has gotten more so in the past few months. I do my best to provide the service I feel I should be, although I am only one person- and the ONLY person who does what I do. Recent events have gotten me seriously considering retirement, although my original plan was to do another six years. Sounds like a prison sentence ( "how long ya got left?" "six years") I will be taking a look at things in the next few months to really see how much longer i NEED to work. Since God didn't see fit to let me win the lottery, I just know I have to go in today.
After a very long but fruitful meeting last night , I am thankful to be able to contribute my time to McGroarty Arts Center. I don't take classes there- the ONE class I wanted to take this session is on a day I can't commit to- Thursdays- so I will wait for the Spring session and hope.
I am thankful for art and artists. I often wish I had a more artistic bent. I can't make a stick figure look realistic, but I can appreciate what the artist is doing. Some of it looks so "simple" but is deceptively so. I think it take a real master to make something look effortless. I want to take time to go to more museums and galleries. Looking at art is one of my more enjoyable activities.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Thankful Day 3
I know I am a day behind, but that's how it is these days with me.
I am thankful to be able to vote today. I vote in every election, proudly going to the polls in person to cast my ballot. I am scheduled to work in the Spring in the municipal elections, something I find to be tiring but good work. I used to take my daughter with me to the polls and explain that women like my grandmother faced jail and beatings and death so that she could do this and the best way to honor those brave women was to vote in every single election. I am proud to say that she does. I was never prouder of her when she cast her first ballot, in a Presidential election. She had researched the candidates and the issues and was ready on election day. She even woke ME up so that we would be in line early. We were there when the polls opened. We were talking in line about the fact that this was her first election, careful not to discuss the candidates. The person next to us looked at us as she excitedly said "This is the first time I am voting" People clapped!
I am thankful to belong to the union I do. I haven't always been able to say that, but with changes that were made ( we got rid of the dictator ED a few years ago) things are better. I did like one of the previous ED's very much, but the one that came after him just sold us down the river. The direction of our union toward more involvement in the community is a positive change I can embrace. Last night we did a dinner service at the Delores Mission in downtown LA. It's always good to serve someone a plate of food and join them in a meal. We do this the first Monday of every month. One of the residents told me when they see the blue shirts, they know that good food is coming. The place was packed, which is both a good and a sad thing. This shelter does good work and I am honored to be part of their commitment to the community.
I am thankful the courts FINALLY found my paperwork for part of the financial portion of my divorce. I have to go back to an attorney again to get one more piece done and then I will be able to get a handle on when I can retire and what it will look like for me. Yes, I am looking at retirement much closer now for a number of reasons. It is important to me to be clear on what my options are right now. I have been divorced since what.. 2006? I have gone back and forth on the financial paperwork, as my attorney of record messed it up BIG TIME. Ah well, live and learn. Still, as I have 34+ full time years at my job which suddenly has become more stressful than I would like it to be, I am considering my options. WHEN I win the lotto tonight, however, I will not have to worry about that!
I am thankful to be able to vote today. I vote in every election, proudly going to the polls in person to cast my ballot. I am scheduled to work in the Spring in the municipal elections, something I find to be tiring but good work. I used to take my daughter with me to the polls and explain that women like my grandmother faced jail and beatings and death so that she could do this and the best way to honor those brave women was to vote in every single election. I am proud to say that she does. I was never prouder of her when she cast her first ballot, in a Presidential election. She had researched the candidates and the issues and was ready on election day. She even woke ME up so that we would be in line early. We were there when the polls opened. We were talking in line about the fact that this was her first election, careful not to discuss the candidates. The person next to us looked at us as she excitedly said "This is the first time I am voting" People clapped!
I am thankful to belong to the union I do. I haven't always been able to say that, but with changes that were made ( we got rid of the dictator ED a few years ago) things are better. I did like one of the previous ED's very much, but the one that came after him just sold us down the river. The direction of our union toward more involvement in the community is a positive change I can embrace. Last night we did a dinner service at the Delores Mission in downtown LA. It's always good to serve someone a plate of food and join them in a meal. We do this the first Monday of every month. One of the residents told me when they see the blue shirts, they know that good food is coming. The place was packed, which is both a good and a sad thing. This shelter does good work and I am honored to be part of their commitment to the community.
I am thankful the courts FINALLY found my paperwork for part of the financial portion of my divorce. I have to go back to an attorney again to get one more piece done and then I will be able to get a handle on when I can retire and what it will look like for me. Yes, I am looking at retirement much closer now for a number of reasons. It is important to me to be clear on what my options are right now. I have been divorced since what.. 2006? I have gone back and forth on the financial paperwork, as my attorney of record messed it up BIG TIME. Ah well, live and learn. Still, as I have 34+ full time years at my job which suddenly has become more stressful than I would like it to be, I am considering my options. WHEN I win the lotto tonight, however, I will not have to worry about that!
Monday, November 3, 2014
Thankful Day 2
So I am thinking about things I am thankful for this morning. I am trying NOT to be trite, but failing miserably in my head.
Maybe I set myself up here, in trying to think of three things a day. I can only come up with one or two this morning, as the coffee has not QUITE kicked in.
I am thankful for food. I am grateful to be able to provide for my family and to be able to cook fresh healthy food for them. I am thankful to have received the "cooking gene" from my father and am happy to be able to cook with abandon in my small but very functional kitchen. I find I am happiest when I have a houseful of people around my table. laughing and sharing stories over a meal I have made. I look forward to Thanksgiving. I have no idea at this point who will be coming, but the door is open and if you let me know, I will throw another potato in the pot, as my mother used to say.
I am thankful for sleep and to able to sleep ina warm bed. I live the autumn weather, snuggling under warm blankets. I seem to sleep better when I am warm- not HOT and miserable like in the summer. Maybe it's because the Winter is coming on and our bodies are still tied to the ancient ways of "hibernation" in the winter months. I have no idea.
I am thankful to live where I live. My apartment is small and I DO want a house and a dog and a yard someday, but I am content. I have nice neighbors and a cozy home. I live close enough to Los Angeles to get there every day, but far enough away to feel, well Away from it! I have the best of both worlds up here at the foot of the Angeles National Forrest. I never really thought of it as a "forest" growing up. It did not carry the same mythical weight as the forests in Fairy tales, which I suppose were German forests, all dark and full of wolves; and while I don't go up hiking in the forest as I did when I was a teen, it is comforting in some strange way to know it is there.
Maybe I set myself up here, in trying to think of three things a day. I can only come up with one or two this morning, as the coffee has not QUITE kicked in.
I am thankful for food. I am grateful to be able to provide for my family and to be able to cook fresh healthy food for them. I am thankful to have received the "cooking gene" from my father and am happy to be able to cook with abandon in my small but very functional kitchen. I find I am happiest when I have a houseful of people around my table. laughing and sharing stories over a meal I have made. I look forward to Thanksgiving. I have no idea at this point who will be coming, but the door is open and if you let me know, I will throw another potato in the pot, as my mother used to say.
I am thankful for sleep and to able to sleep ina warm bed. I live the autumn weather, snuggling under warm blankets. I seem to sleep better when I am warm- not HOT and miserable like in the summer. Maybe it's because the Winter is coming on and our bodies are still tied to the ancient ways of "hibernation" in the winter months. I have no idea.
I am thankful to live where I live. My apartment is small and I DO want a house and a dog and a yard someday, but I am content. I have nice neighbors and a cozy home. I live close enough to Los Angeles to get there every day, but far enough away to feel, well Away from it! I have the best of both worlds up here at the foot of the Angeles National Forrest. I never really thought of it as a "forest" growing up. It did not carry the same mythical weight as the forests in Fairy tales, which I suppose were German forests, all dark and full of wolves; and while I don't go up hiking in the forest as I did when I was a teen, it is comforting in some strange way to know it is there.
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Thankful- Day one
November is the month of Thanks giving, so traditionally, I begin the month thinking about what I am thankful for. I am two days behind "schedule" but here goes.
I want to think of three things I am thankful for, every day. I want to think about things that are not the normal things,small blessings that I have in my life.
I am thankful that the books I read as a teenager were not like the current crop of popular novels. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING these days is some bleak vision of some dystopian society. Depressing.
I am thankful to be able to volunteer my time for causes I believe in. It is important to me to give back.
I am thankful for music that soothes me and strengthens me. I have been dealing with a lot of stress and sometimes the only thing that works for me is to turn up the music and sing along.
I will try to think of six tomorrow!
I want to think of three things I am thankful for, every day. I want to think about things that are not the normal things,small blessings that I have in my life.
I am thankful that the books I read as a teenager were not like the current crop of popular novels. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING these days is some bleak vision of some dystopian society. Depressing.
I am thankful to be able to volunteer my time for causes I believe in. It is important to me to give back.
I am thankful for music that soothes me and strengthens me. I have been dealing with a lot of stress and sometimes the only thing that works for me is to turn up the music and sing along.
I will try to think of six tomorrow!
Friday, October 31, 2014
MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!
I love Autumn. It really is, as I get older, my favorite time of year. Crisp clear days, chilly nights and warm meals simmering in the crockpot. I loved Summer as a kid, but now it's Autumn that I love best-- EXCEPT FOR THIS
Why is every food in the world being given a "pumpkin spice" twist? (Wasn't she one of the Spice Girls?) I swear! Yesterday I was at a local Mexican place and they were serving- you guessed it- pumpkin spice margaritas in a small pumpkin. NO I did not try it. I am boycotting all things pumpkin spice that are not MEANT to be pumpkin spice, so
No Pumpkin spice lattes
No Pumpkin spice beer
No Pumpkin spice margatitas
No Pumpkin spice body spray
No Pumkin spice soaps, handwash or body lotions
No Pumpkin Spice shampoo
I will eat pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread. I am actually looking forward to baking some very soon. I can't wait for this stupid marketing trend to be OVER!
Why is every food in the world being given a "pumpkin spice" twist? (Wasn't she one of the Spice Girls?) I swear! Yesterday I was at a local Mexican place and they were serving- you guessed it- pumpkin spice margaritas in a small pumpkin. NO I did not try it. I am boycotting all things pumpkin spice that are not MEANT to be pumpkin spice, so
No Pumpkin spice lattes
No Pumpkin spice beer
No Pumpkin spice margatitas
No Pumpkin spice body spray
No Pumkin spice soaps, handwash or body lotions
No Pumpkin Spice shampoo
I will eat pumpkin pie and pumpkin bread. I am actually looking forward to baking some very soon. I can't wait for this stupid marketing trend to be OVER!
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Funerals
Funerals suck. I went to one this morning, and no matter HOW you try to spin it, call it a "Celebration of Life" or a "Home Going" it's STILL a funeral to me and it still sucks.
Funerals are for the living and I found myself today at one that was more like a Revival Meeting than a service. NOT that there is anything WRONG with revival meetings or that type of service, it's just that I was found that it did not provide me the type of release and comfort of a "traditional" service. I guess I missed the comfort of the ritual. I guess I have been to more Catholic mass funerals than anything else. I missed the ritual of turning to your neighbor and saying "Peace be with you". I lean on my Irish roots during times of grief. At Irish funerals, you are encouraged to cry. I have been told that "tears shed here speed a soul's progress to heaven." Crying relieves something deep inside and in our society it is not acceptable to grieve publicly. In Ireland, apparently, they hire "professional mourners" who cry at funerals. When my Brother-in-laws grandmother died, my sister told me I had to go, because "someone needs to cry for her" Well I went and cried and the rest of the family joined in. Seeing one person crying give you "permission" to cry, I suppose. If my family were still in Ireland, I would probably be one of those.
Is it wrong of me to say that at some point in today's service, I was critiquing the music? I know the singers were friends of my friend and her family, but the music actually hurt. I think they sound system was WAY too loud and the singers who were belting out gospel music and holding EVERY note ; not just select notes, but drawing out each word until they lost breath. I know it was in tribute and maybe I just didn't have an appreciation of the songs, but I just wanted it all to be over.
There were lots of prayers and Bible readings. One woman read an expanded version of the 23rd Psalm, which made me long for the simplicity of King David's original text as we know it . Admittedly, I don't really KNOW that what we know IS the original, but this harkens back to my longing for ritual. When it is read at Baptist funerals, for instance, the whole congregation joins in with the recitation. It is a unifying moment. I longed for "Amazing Grace" to be sung.
The very large room was filled with friends and family, a testament to the person we have all lost. I HATE the "filing past the open casket" part of any service. I wish I had been able to get out of line and slip out a back door. I hope the family did not think me being disrespectful when I did not look at her, but i DO NOT want my last memory of my friend- heck of ANYONE- to be of them in their coffin. She was a warm vibrant ALIVE woman and I will cherish her in my memory that way.
Funerals are for the living and I found myself today at one that was more like a Revival Meeting than a service. NOT that there is anything WRONG with revival meetings or that type of service, it's just that I was found that it did not provide me the type of release and comfort of a "traditional" service. I guess I missed the comfort of the ritual. I guess I have been to more Catholic mass funerals than anything else. I missed the ritual of turning to your neighbor and saying "Peace be with you". I lean on my Irish roots during times of grief. At Irish funerals, you are encouraged to cry. I have been told that "tears shed here speed a soul's progress to heaven." Crying relieves something deep inside and in our society it is not acceptable to grieve publicly. In Ireland, apparently, they hire "professional mourners" who cry at funerals. When my Brother-in-laws grandmother died, my sister told me I had to go, because "someone needs to cry for her" Well I went and cried and the rest of the family joined in. Seeing one person crying give you "permission" to cry, I suppose. If my family were still in Ireland, I would probably be one of those.
Is it wrong of me to say that at some point in today's service, I was critiquing the music? I know the singers were friends of my friend and her family, but the music actually hurt. I think they sound system was WAY too loud and the singers who were belting out gospel music and holding EVERY note ; not just select notes, but drawing out each word until they lost breath. I know it was in tribute and maybe I just didn't have an appreciation of the songs, but I just wanted it all to be over.
There were lots of prayers and Bible readings. One woman read an expanded version of the 23rd Psalm, which made me long for the simplicity of King David's original text as we know it . Admittedly, I don't really KNOW that what we know IS the original, but this harkens back to my longing for ritual. When it is read at Baptist funerals, for instance, the whole congregation joins in with the recitation. It is a unifying moment. I longed for "Amazing Grace" to be sung.
The very large room was filled with friends and family, a testament to the person we have all lost. I HATE the "filing past the open casket" part of any service. I wish I had been able to get out of line and slip out a back door. I hope the family did not think me being disrespectful when I did not look at her, but i DO NOT want my last memory of my friend- heck of ANYONE- to be of them in their coffin. She was a warm vibrant ALIVE woman and I will cherish her in my memory that way.
Monday, October 27, 2014
28 years?
Yesterday marked 28 years of working in my current job. That's TWENTY-EIGHT. add that to the ten I have in other City jobs and you get THIRTY EIGHT. Yikes. Where did the time go?
When I started THIS job, I was a 28 years old. Kate was a wish at this point, although I got pregnant with her about a week after I started this job. I was only going to stay there 5 years, fill some gaps in my resumè and move on to bigger and better things. But I stayed and I am thinking today about why.
I guess first and foremost, I like what I do. If I had designed a job that hit all my personal desire marks, I don't think I could have done a better job of it. My job allows me to help a whole LOT of people in the City, all at once. I help keep the doors open.
The job is a constant challenge. My ex called me a "paper-pusher" but that's not really it. I am a trouble-shooter, or a troublemaker if you want to view me that way. I work with some amazing people in other City departments who make me look good. I am lucky to have built such a network where I can talk to someone and get a resolution. I like to think of myself as a problem solver. Sometimes I think I am "Mom" to 72 branch libraries. I never know what I am going to hear when I pick up the phone.
I have made some incredible friends here. I cannot stress how much their friendship , support and love (yes love!) have strengthened me. I only hope that someday, somehow I can repay it all.
I have had some wonderful "adventures" in this job. The earthquakes and the Bond issues and all the branch moves have given me wonderful opportunities. I worked for a few great bosses (and one SHINING example of how NOT to be a boss). I was made to feel part of something bigger than "just a job"; libraries are a mission. My opinion was considered and often valued and I felt free to be creative in my approach to situations we had not encountered before. I am either blessed or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with a large amount of common sense. I can be a bull in a china shop about it, especially if something needs to be done quickly. I have learned more about diplomacy on this job than I ever thought possible. I have heard "diplomacy" defined as "telling someone to go to Hell in such a manner that they actually look forward to the trip." Someone from General Services called me a "pit-bull" Darn skippy! I am cute and loveable, but don't mess with my peeps!
I hope to be able to pass on my " institutional knowledge" to someone before I leave. The person who had this job before me left me three names and phone numbers. I had to hunt to get HIS, as he was still a City employee and I needed some information. One of my supervisors remarked that I had really tailored this job to who I am, and I suppose she was right. If we define ourselves by our jobs, it's going to take a while for me to disengage. It looks like I will be here another six years, unless I win the lotto or something, then ALL BETS ARE OFF!
When I started THIS job, I was a 28 years old. Kate was a wish at this point, although I got pregnant with her about a week after I started this job. I was only going to stay there 5 years, fill some gaps in my resumè and move on to bigger and better things. But I stayed and I am thinking today about why.
I guess first and foremost, I like what I do. If I had designed a job that hit all my personal desire marks, I don't think I could have done a better job of it. My job allows me to help a whole LOT of people in the City, all at once. I help keep the doors open.
The job is a constant challenge. My ex called me a "paper-pusher" but that's not really it. I am a trouble-shooter, or a troublemaker if you want to view me that way. I work with some amazing people in other City departments who make me look good. I am lucky to have built such a network where I can talk to someone and get a resolution. I like to think of myself as a problem solver. Sometimes I think I am "Mom" to 72 branch libraries. I never know what I am going to hear when I pick up the phone.
I have made some incredible friends here. I cannot stress how much their friendship , support and love (yes love!) have strengthened me. I only hope that someday, somehow I can repay it all.
I have had some wonderful "adventures" in this job. The earthquakes and the Bond issues and all the branch moves have given me wonderful opportunities. I worked for a few great bosses (and one SHINING example of how NOT to be a boss). I was made to feel part of something bigger than "just a job"; libraries are a mission. My opinion was considered and often valued and I felt free to be creative in my approach to situations we had not encountered before. I am either blessed or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with a large amount of common sense. I can be a bull in a china shop about it, especially if something needs to be done quickly. I have learned more about diplomacy on this job than I ever thought possible. I have heard "diplomacy" defined as "telling someone to go to Hell in such a manner that they actually look forward to the trip." Someone from General Services called me a "pit-bull" Darn skippy! I am cute and loveable, but don't mess with my peeps!
I hope to be able to pass on my " institutional knowledge" to someone before I leave. The person who had this job before me left me three names and phone numbers. I had to hunt to get HIS, as he was still a City employee and I needed some information. One of my supervisors remarked that I had really tailored this job to who I am, and I suppose she was right. If we define ourselves by our jobs, it's going to take a while for me to disengage. It looks like I will be here another six years, unless I win the lotto or something, then ALL BETS ARE OFF!
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Rant
I'll probably upset a few people by posting this, if they read it, but I doubt they will.
I am on the Board of my local Arts Center. Our stated mission is "Affordable Arts Education for everyone" We subsist on the fees we change for classes ( which don't actually cover the true COST of the class) and grants. The grants had helped to offset the operating costs to keep the doors open. Well, the grants dried up. We can't raise class fees and we can't seem to get the community involved in helping the Center. Please know that everyone I talk to gushes about how important the Center is to the community and what a treasure it is and blah, blah blah. Very few of them actually reach into their wallet and hand over a donation. Recently the local "new" newspaper in town printed a half baked hatchet job on the condition of the Center. Never mind the FACTS, the reporter was fed lies and half truths about things and chose to take the word of a person who had an axe to grind. Yes, I believe I know who it is and I am disappointed in this person. The reporter did not ask the Board to respond and ran with it. The poor soul probably imagined himself to be both Woodward AND Bernstein of the S-T community. We are STILL dealing with the fallout and I am shocked to see how many vultures are circling to cheer the demise of the Center. Here's MY two cents:
The Board is all volunteer. We don't get paid a dime and most of us are ponying up a good chunk of money to keep the doors open.
When you come to an event, BUY something or donate a few bucks. We had an event this weekend that the people who came to seemed to enjoy. A few people enjoyed the free snacks ( he snacks are donated by me and another Board member as part of our commitment to the Center) and the music for a mere $5, and kept coming back to the bar to get water and more snacks, but didn't even toss a dollar in the tips jar. Seriously, EVERYTHING we do is a fund raiser. This last event was a terrible disappointment and we didn't make enough to warrant the time it took us to do the event.
Non-profit doesn't mean we don't have operational costs. We do. I have hit up all my friends and co-workers to help me to raise money for the Center. I appreciate everyone who has stepped up to help- most of whom DON'T even LIVE up here. They will not be taking classes here, their kids won't go here, but the magic of the Center is alive for those who visit there.
I just don't know what to do to make the COMMUNITY understand this. Like the Joni Mitchell song says "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
I am on the Board of my local Arts Center. Our stated mission is "Affordable Arts Education for everyone" We subsist on the fees we change for classes ( which don't actually cover the true COST of the class) and grants. The grants had helped to offset the operating costs to keep the doors open. Well, the grants dried up. We can't raise class fees and we can't seem to get the community involved in helping the Center. Please know that everyone I talk to gushes about how important the Center is to the community and what a treasure it is and blah, blah blah. Very few of them actually reach into their wallet and hand over a donation. Recently the local "new" newspaper in town printed a half baked hatchet job on the condition of the Center. Never mind the FACTS, the reporter was fed lies and half truths about things and chose to take the word of a person who had an axe to grind. Yes, I believe I know who it is and I am disappointed in this person. The reporter did not ask the Board to respond and ran with it. The poor soul probably imagined himself to be both Woodward AND Bernstein of the S-T community. We are STILL dealing with the fallout and I am shocked to see how many vultures are circling to cheer the demise of the Center. Here's MY two cents:
The Board is all volunteer. We don't get paid a dime and most of us are ponying up a good chunk of money to keep the doors open.
When you come to an event, BUY something or donate a few bucks. We had an event this weekend that the people who came to seemed to enjoy. A few people enjoyed the free snacks ( he snacks are donated by me and another Board member as part of our commitment to the Center) and the music for a mere $5, and kept coming back to the bar to get water and more snacks, but didn't even toss a dollar in the tips jar. Seriously, EVERYTHING we do is a fund raiser. This last event was a terrible disappointment and we didn't make enough to warrant the time it took us to do the event.
Non-profit doesn't mean we don't have operational costs. We do. I have hit up all my friends and co-workers to help me to raise money for the Center. I appreciate everyone who has stepped up to help- most of whom DON'T even LIVE up here. They will not be taking classes here, their kids won't go here, but the magic of the Center is alive for those who visit there.
I just don't know what to do to make the COMMUNITY understand this. Like the Joni Mitchell song says "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone."
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Thoughts behind the wheel
I drive twenty miles to work every day. It takes me about an hour, so I have plenty of time to reflect on my way to and from work, If you leave at the same time, you see some of the same cars and know what they are going to do along the way. I got to thinking about it and here's my list of things that happen and annoy me on my daily commute:
Car Voted Most Likely to Cut me Off: A Mercedes or a BMW. The likelihood ramps up exponentially if the person has a USC license plate or bumper sticker.
Car Voted Most likely to ignore My blinker and squeeze past me: Prius.
Driver voted most likely to be having a discussion with the CHP or another driver on the shoulder; Thirty-something male with beard, who drives at breakneck speed and acts like he bought the road along with the car. This is not one person, there seem to be an awful lot of thirty-something males who drive like this. I call them "Testosterone Jockeys"
Most annoying bumper sticker; The "baby on Board" STICKER. Really? I understand the original intent was to warn people of possible flying object from the car when the Yuppies in the 90's wanted to declare "oooh look ! I reproduced!" but A BUMPER STICKER? Does that mean your child
1. Is Always in the car?
2. Will Always be a baby?
or
3. It refers to the driver who is a spoiled, petulant child and drives accordingly?
I hate the "Baby on Board' thing.
I wonder if I should be surprised when the same car every day races ahead of the line of cars that are merging onto another freeway, as if they just noticed that they need to get over? You're NOT that special and you don't get to cut in front of everyone else, as if the traffic laws don't apply to you. I don't let them in. I'm can be a "B" like that.
How about my wave? If I signal to get over and someone lets me in, I give them a little "thank you" wave over my shoulder. I was taught it was polite. When I let someone in, I think "where's my wave?" Mostly it's people of my vintage who do the "thank you wave". The only "Wave" I seem to get from the current generation is the kind that tells me what their I.Q is, or as I like to refer to it the "I'm Number One" salute.
Generally, I prefer driving in traffic on the week days. It's like being in a dance where everyone knows the steps and everyone knows their part. Weekend traffic is a preview to Hell. It seems these people have never BEEN in traffic before and don't know the "rules' to make it an easier commute. On the weekends, you get a lot of people who have the "I'M DRIVING HERE' attitude. There are no manners, or much less adherence to protocol, exhibited by weekend "Sunday" drivers.
Car Voted Most Likely to Cut me Off: A Mercedes or a BMW. The likelihood ramps up exponentially if the person has a USC license plate or bumper sticker.
Car Voted Most likely to ignore My blinker and squeeze past me: Prius.
Driver voted most likely to be having a discussion with the CHP or another driver on the shoulder; Thirty-something male with beard, who drives at breakneck speed and acts like he bought the road along with the car. This is not one person, there seem to be an awful lot of thirty-something males who drive like this. I call them "Testosterone Jockeys"
Most annoying bumper sticker; The "baby on Board" STICKER. Really? I understand the original intent was to warn people of possible flying object from the car when the Yuppies in the 90's wanted to declare "oooh look ! I reproduced!" but A BUMPER STICKER? Does that mean your child
1. Is Always in the car?
2. Will Always be a baby?
or
3. It refers to the driver who is a spoiled, petulant child and drives accordingly?
I hate the "Baby on Board' thing.
I wonder if I should be surprised when the same car every day races ahead of the line of cars that are merging onto another freeway, as if they just noticed that they need to get over? You're NOT that special and you don't get to cut in front of everyone else, as if the traffic laws don't apply to you. I don't let them in. I'm can be a "B" like that.
How about my wave? If I signal to get over and someone lets me in, I give them a little "thank you" wave over my shoulder. I was taught it was polite. When I let someone in, I think "where's my wave?" Mostly it's people of my vintage who do the "thank you wave". The only "Wave" I seem to get from the current generation is the kind that tells me what their I.Q is, or as I like to refer to it the "I'm Number One" salute.
Generally, I prefer driving in traffic on the week days. It's like being in a dance where everyone knows the steps and everyone knows their part. Weekend traffic is a preview to Hell. It seems these people have never BEEN in traffic before and don't know the "rules' to make it an easier commute. On the weekends, you get a lot of people who have the "I'M DRIVING HERE' attitude. There are no manners, or much less adherence to protocol, exhibited by weekend "Sunday" drivers.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Haunted Houses- and why I don't go
I see two girls are suing Universal Studios because one of their "actors" used inappropriate language toward them. humpf. Seriously, it's a FRIGHT Night, not Unicorns and rainbows night. HOWEVER. I had an unpleasant experience when my daughter and I went through a maze there once- it wasn't even Halloween.
We went to Universal for the day and decided to go through this maze thing that was related to the movie, "The Mummy". There was a small sign on it saying you could not touch the actors. That should have been enough warning to me, but I missed the subtle you-are-in-for-it inference.
It was pretty cool, with some trippy mazes, but one room was seriously disorienting and I had to help Kate out of the room. We emerged and while she was trying to get her bearings, we were accosted by an actor playing Imhotep. He menaced us and we screamed and tried to get around him. No dice. Kate was about twelve or thirteen at the time and still shaky form the effects of the spinning room. She started crying. I stepped in front of her and said "ok. You got us. Let us by." Nope. He continued to block our path. My daughter was bordering on hysterical. I got in HIS face and started yelling at him. I shoved Kate past him and shouted "GO" I whirled on him and started yelling that her should leave us alone. He continued in his antics. I was in FULL Mama Bear Mode. I believe he must have thought we were two teenagers, the mask covered his eyes quite a bit. and I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I was also much more "petite" than I am now. BUT the yelling should have clued him in. I believe there is some kind of rule ( I know when the Library does them, there is) that if someone asks you to stop that you DO. Several other people asked me what happened and when I explained, agreed that was not cool. It IS a good thing I read the sign at the entrance, because I was THISCLOSE to going "All Pacas" on him. I was still spitting fire when we left the attraction. I marched over to guest relations and told them I wanted to file a complaint. The woman was surprised when I agreed to put it in writing. One of the things I suggested was that this person be given some type of retraining- even though I really wanted him busted back to "Sneeze-guard wiper". I did not ask for compensation, nor did I think this person should be fired for this. A week later, I got an apology and two free passes. The apology was enough for me. I did not go out and hire a high priced attorney to resolve the issue.
Even as a teenager, I did not enjoy the Haunted Houses that were all a rite of passage. It's not funny to me or pleasant to be frightened. I don't enjoy slasher films nor anything with creepy clowns. Clowns themselves give me the willys. Call me a chicken, but that's how it is. Halloween was never my favorite holiday, even if there WAS chocolate involved!
We went to Universal for the day and decided to go through this maze thing that was related to the movie, "The Mummy". There was a small sign on it saying you could not touch the actors. That should have been enough warning to me, but I missed the subtle you-are-in-for-it inference.
It was pretty cool, with some trippy mazes, but one room was seriously disorienting and I had to help Kate out of the room. We emerged and while she was trying to get her bearings, we were accosted by an actor playing Imhotep. He menaced us and we screamed and tried to get around him. No dice. Kate was about twelve or thirteen at the time and still shaky form the effects of the spinning room. She started crying. I stepped in front of her and said "ok. You got us. Let us by." Nope. He continued to block our path. My daughter was bordering on hysterical. I got in HIS face and started yelling at him. I shoved Kate past him and shouted "GO" I whirled on him and started yelling that her should leave us alone. He continued in his antics. I was in FULL Mama Bear Mode. I believe he must have thought we were two teenagers, the mask covered his eyes quite a bit. and I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and a baseball cap. I was also much more "petite" than I am now. BUT the yelling should have clued him in. I believe there is some kind of rule ( I know when the Library does them, there is) that if someone asks you to stop that you DO. Several other people asked me what happened and when I explained, agreed that was not cool. It IS a good thing I read the sign at the entrance, because I was THISCLOSE to going "All Pacas" on him. I was still spitting fire when we left the attraction. I marched over to guest relations and told them I wanted to file a complaint. The woman was surprised when I agreed to put it in writing. One of the things I suggested was that this person be given some type of retraining- even though I really wanted him busted back to "Sneeze-guard wiper". I did not ask for compensation, nor did I think this person should be fired for this. A week later, I got an apology and two free passes. The apology was enough for me. I did not go out and hire a high priced attorney to resolve the issue.
Even as a teenager, I did not enjoy the Haunted Houses that were all a rite of passage. It's not funny to me or pleasant to be frightened. I don't enjoy slasher films nor anything with creepy clowns. Clowns themselves give me the willys. Call me a chicken, but that's how it is. Halloween was never my favorite holiday, even if there WAS chocolate involved!
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Poetry
Do people actually READ poetry anymore? I don't see a huge market for it. I enjoy going to readings, more like recitations than readings, but I wonder why people still write poetry. I write for my own enjoyment or to get out a particular emotion, but I doubt anyone would actually PAY me for any of it.
I am listening to "the Receptionist" a book about a woman who worked at the New Yorker for over 20 years as a receptionist. I think she was more a frustrated writer and her anger comes through her words, as she talks about that time. I don't think she really liked anyone she came in contact with. Maybe she just didn't like herself. I probably won't listen to too much more of the book, as she is depressing me. She talks about writers I have never heard of and am looking into so maybe I am getting something out of it. She is not very nice about any of them. I did get a book of poems by John Berryman to see if I like them. Apparently there are a whole LOT of Pulitzer Prize winning poets I have never heard of. Maybe my education is lacking.
I hate being told whom to admire in the literary world. As an English major, white and female, I am supposed to ADORE Jane Austen. Nope. If I had to pick someone, I suppose it would be Willa Cather, whose American cadence speaks to me more than a Regency era Englishwoman. I need to re-read some Willa Cather. I love "My Antonia" but it has been years since I have read anything by her. I think I will start with "A Lost Lady" which I remember as being very good.
I will continue to try to find my "lost" poetry "skills" There are a few groups of poets up here in the Foothills that I think about joining, but don't feel like they would have me until I get back up to speed. Right now, I still have the training wheels on.
I am listening to "the Receptionist" a book about a woman who worked at the New Yorker for over 20 years as a receptionist. I think she was more a frustrated writer and her anger comes through her words, as she talks about that time. I don't think she really liked anyone she came in contact with. Maybe she just didn't like herself. I probably won't listen to too much more of the book, as she is depressing me. She talks about writers I have never heard of and am looking into so maybe I am getting something out of it. She is not very nice about any of them. I did get a book of poems by John Berryman to see if I like them. Apparently there are a whole LOT of Pulitzer Prize winning poets I have never heard of. Maybe my education is lacking.
I hate being told whom to admire in the literary world. As an English major, white and female, I am supposed to ADORE Jane Austen. Nope. If I had to pick someone, I suppose it would be Willa Cather, whose American cadence speaks to me more than a Regency era Englishwoman. I need to re-read some Willa Cather. I love "My Antonia" but it has been years since I have read anything by her. I think I will start with "A Lost Lady" which I remember as being very good.
I will continue to try to find my "lost" poetry "skills" There are a few groups of poets up here in the Foothills that I think about joining, but don't feel like they would have me until I get back up to speed. Right now, I still have the training wheels on.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Good bye my friend
I called one of the maintenance yards I deal with every day, yesterday. After a brief discussion with the supervisor about the problem, he asked me "Did you hear about the trouble in the yard?" No, I answered. He told me that Pat Webster had died on Friday. Shell-shocked, I listened to details about how her daughter called the office because she couldn't reach her mother. Two of the crew went to her apartment, but Police and rescue were already there. She had died. "You knew her, didn't you?' he asked. Well DUH. I had spoken to her on a regular basis for almost 28 years. She was my lifeline to emergency repairs in the South District and over the years we chatted about children and grandchildren vacations and the news of the day. I always knew when I talked to her about the crisis du jour at some branch that she would help me to get someone out to fix it. One thing that the supervisor who told me of her passing said was " she didn't even get to her retirement" This statement was the saddest of all the things he told me. She did enjoy her job and the camaraderie of what she did, but to work and never really get to enjoy the fruits of your labor seems so unfair. I knew that life is not fair, but I still have a school-kid's version of fair and not fair rolling around in my head.
To calm myself, I turned on Pandora on my cell phone. This is the song that came on
To calm myself, I turned on Pandora on my cell phone. This is the song that came on
Oh we never know where life will take us
We know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel
We know it's just a ride on the wheel
And we never know when death will shake us
And we wonder how it will feel
So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's O.K. now
Goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the time together through all the years
Will take away these tears
It's O.K. now
Goodbye my friend
I'd see a lot of things that made me crazy
And I guess I held on to you
You could've run away and left, well maybe
But it wasn't time and we both knew
And I guess I held on to you
You could've run away and left, well maybe
But it wasn't time and we both knew
So goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away my tears
I'm O.K. now
Goodbye my friend
I know I'll never see you again
But the love you gave me through all the years
Will take away my tears
I'm O.K. now
Goodbye my friend
A life so fragile, a love so pure
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we'll never know why
We can't hold on but we try
We watch how quickly it disappears
And we'll never know why
But I'm O.K. now
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend
Goodbye my friend
You can go now
Goodbye my friend
Monday, October 20, 2014
Thanksgiving
When I was a kid, Christmas was my favorite holiday, but as an adult it became Thanksgiving. Maybe because there was less pressure to create the "perfect" day. When I was married to my first husband, we HAD to go to his family's house on Christmas Day. My family didn't matter and THAT was made plain to me early in my marriage. My family said "when we get together it IS Christmas" even though I am certain my mother would have loved to have US in her home celebrating Christmas Eve. I dreaded the "Family Christmas" at my in-laws. The tension brought on by forced cheerfulness was palpable. They were always making some snarky remark about my family, pretending to be funny. Making fun of other people is NOT funny. If you need to do that in order to feel better about yourself, I am sorry for you.
Early in my marriage, I declared Thanksgiving to be "our" holiday, the calm before the storm that Christmas was. I loved and still love cooking all the goodies that are associated with the day. It gives me time to reflect on my blessings and be truly thankful. Now, a lot of people take umbrage to the supposed origins of the holiday, but that is just another fiction dressed up as fact. For me, Thanksgiving is NOT about a supposed feast shared by the pilgrims and the locals, it is about taking a moment to realize what you have and be grateful. I love placing the huge meal on our dinner table and having it filled to capacity with friends and family.
I will NOT participate in Thanksgiving as a shopping day. It's hideous. Whatever happened to family time? I am happy that the grocery stores are open, but if they closed at , say 2 pm in order for families to get to celebrate together, that would be good too. I remember when stores were CLOSED on Thanksgiving and Christmas. When did retailers begin to think that forcing employees to work on a holiday (and I would be willing to bet in most cases for a straight wage) would improve morale among the workforce? Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a disgruntled sales clerk working in a frenzy of shoppers who are trying to break down the door to get to the bargains. It's MADNESS. I am NOT doing it.
So, if you are not doing anything on the fourth Thursday in November and you want to join us, there is always room at the table for one more. Let me know. I'll throw another potato in the pot!
Early in my marriage, I declared Thanksgiving to be "our" holiday, the calm before the storm that Christmas was. I loved and still love cooking all the goodies that are associated with the day. It gives me time to reflect on my blessings and be truly thankful. Now, a lot of people take umbrage to the supposed origins of the holiday, but that is just another fiction dressed up as fact. For me, Thanksgiving is NOT about a supposed feast shared by the pilgrims and the locals, it is about taking a moment to realize what you have and be grateful. I love placing the huge meal on our dinner table and having it filled to capacity with friends and family.
I will NOT participate in Thanksgiving as a shopping day. It's hideous. Whatever happened to family time? I am happy that the grocery stores are open, but if they closed at , say 2 pm in order for families to get to celebrate together, that would be good too. I remember when stores were CLOSED on Thanksgiving and Christmas. When did retailers begin to think that forcing employees to work on a holiday (and I would be willing to bet in most cases for a straight wage) would improve morale among the workforce? Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a disgruntled sales clerk working in a frenzy of shoppers who are trying to break down the door to get to the bargains. It's MADNESS. I am NOT doing it.
So, if you are not doing anything on the fourth Thursday in November and you want to join us, there is always room at the table for one more. Let me know. I'll throw another potato in the pot!
Sunday, October 19, 2014
More dreams
So last night I dreamed about eating shrimp, every counter in the kitchen and the dining room in the house I was staying in was covered with platters of shrimp in various forms. I was eating it, but not enjoying it, more the thought that I had to eat it because I had cooked it all and it was going to go bad if I didn't eat it. I looked it up in a "dream dictionary" It said:
"To see or eat shrimp in your dream suggests that you are feeling overpowered and insignificant. You feel like you want to hide from the world and be left alone for awhile."
Well, THAT'S right on. I am struggling with something I don't want to get into in print, but the result is that physically I am falling apart. Not sleeping is the worst. It's a tease. I fall SOUND asleep for an hour or so, then am WIDE awake for an hour or more. I don't want to toss and turn and wake my husband, who doesn't sleep well most nights anyway. I need to get a handle on this situation. I am trying to "let go and let God" It's not my style, certainly, but I have tried all I can. Only God can do this. I give up.
Yesetrday at the parade, I got into a little tiff with an overly zealous "Christian" pamphleteer. I put Christian in quotes, because his behavior was not following the teaching of Christ. He offered me a tract that said something about " Will this be your last parade?" I said "No thank you." I always say no thank you, I am polite. He shoved it at me and told me I needed it. I told him ( showing him the cross that I always wear) that I AM a Christian. He started yelling at me, in the middle of the street that I should take his tract and give it to someone. I told him I wasn't going to do that. Now, I ask you, is this the way to get people to listen to your message? I am much LESS interested in what you have to say if you get up in my face about it. I am not about to go around handing out pamphlets to someone else anyway. I am not a church-goer. I never found a church that "spoke" to me, but I have faith and have been leaning heavily on it these days. it was just a weird encounter in a series of bad things that happened yesterday.
So maybe today, I will hide out under the covers, read a book, watch bad television and try to get myself back on track. The last month has been stressful and I am doing my best to cope.
"To see or eat shrimp in your dream suggests that you are feeling overpowered and insignificant. You feel like you want to hide from the world and be left alone for awhile."
Well, THAT'S right on. I am struggling with something I don't want to get into in print, but the result is that physically I am falling apart. Not sleeping is the worst. It's a tease. I fall SOUND asleep for an hour or so, then am WIDE awake for an hour or more. I don't want to toss and turn and wake my husband, who doesn't sleep well most nights anyway. I need to get a handle on this situation. I am trying to "let go and let God" It's not my style, certainly, but I have tried all I can. Only God can do this. I give up.
Yesetrday at the parade, I got into a little tiff with an overly zealous "Christian" pamphleteer. I put Christian in quotes, because his behavior was not following the teaching of Christ. He offered me a tract that said something about " Will this be your last parade?" I said "No thank you." I always say no thank you, I am polite. He shoved it at me and told me I needed it. I told him ( showing him the cross that I always wear) that I AM a Christian. He started yelling at me, in the middle of the street that I should take his tract and give it to someone. I told him I wasn't going to do that. Now, I ask you, is this the way to get people to listen to your message? I am much LESS interested in what you have to say if you get up in my face about it. I am not about to go around handing out pamphlets to someone else anyway. I am not a church-goer. I never found a church that "spoke" to me, but I have faith and have been leaning heavily on it these days. it was just a weird encounter in a series of bad things that happened yesterday.
So maybe today, I will hide out under the covers, read a book, watch bad television and try to get myself back on track. The last month has been stressful and I am doing my best to cope.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Dreams
Last night I dreamed the Chris and I were staying in a hotel in Mexico. We were on the top floor, but weird things kept coming through the drains and dropping from the ceiling. There was a tiny wolf that came up the drain. At first it appeared to be wax, it was a light yellow color and about the size of a small knickknack. But when I looked at it, it came to life. I looked up "wolves" in a dream dictionary and it said it symbolizes victory, but the wolf as a puppy symbolizes a nurturing spirit. Okay. The other part of the dream was iguanas who kept dropping from the ceiling. They would come through a hole that wasn't there before and would disappear after they dropped through. The dream dictionary says iguanas symbolize fear, but I think my reaction to them in the dream is more to my liking. I opened the door and shooed each of them out of the room. I like to think my subconscious is telling me that I've got this, that I can face and conquer what is bothering me. I really don't know how much I believe in the symbols in dreams and whether the agreed upon meaning is true or not. I will take it, at this point.
I was delighted beyond words this week to learn that my friends Lloyd and Debbie will be having a house built for them. These people have been through a terrible year- or two- and still maintain their faith and their willingness to help someone else. So many people have been praying for them, I am sure God or the Universe finally said "ENOUGH ALREADY I will do something nice for them!" They are getting their long cherished dream of a home of their own. I couldn't be happier if it were me. It's a three day build and I am going to go out and see what I can do to help, if anything. I want to be there for them, like they are for me.
I am heading back out to 29 this weekend. It's Pioneer Days and my daughter is taking Bobby to his first parade. He will be a month old tomorrow. Time flies, doesn't it?
I was delighted beyond words this week to learn that my friends Lloyd and Debbie will be having a house built for them. These people have been through a terrible year- or two- and still maintain their faith and their willingness to help someone else. So many people have been praying for them, I am sure God or the Universe finally said "ENOUGH ALREADY I will do something nice for them!" They are getting their long cherished dream of a home of their own. I couldn't be happier if it were me. It's a three day build and I am going to go out and see what I can do to help, if anything. I want to be there for them, like they are for me.
I am heading back out to 29 this weekend. It's Pioneer Days and my daughter is taking Bobby to his first parade. He will be a month old tomorrow. Time flies, doesn't it?
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Thursday Morning book talk!
I am procaffinating and procrastinating. I have had a hard time getting my "happy" on for work these days. Probably just a phase, as I am tired, not sleeping well and it makes me "edgy" I can't afford to be "edgy" at work. Loud noises bother me when I am like this and I work in a lively place where people make a lot of noise. I grit my teeth and try not to over-react. This too shall pass ( I like to add "like a kidney stone")
I woke up thinking about first lines from books that draw you in "Last Night I dreamed I went to Manderly again." and "Call me Ishmael" Books that have an immediate "voice to them. "The Outsiders" was one such book for me. It was the first "teen" book I read, back when the genre was not as thriving as it is now. Teens were the forgotten readers and it may be why so many teens did not read once we reached Junior High. We were force fed "classic" literature, which ( and I can say this, I have a degree in English) was downright BORING. Recently I discovered a mash up of Jane Austen called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" Not THAT is something I could get my teeth into. Instead of being the simpering fortune hunting girls, the Sisters Bennet are..... NINJAS, well sort of ninjas, they are trained in the shaolin form of martial arts and are deadly and somewhat crass. I liked Lizzie MUCH better. Can I admit to NOT being an Austenite? Sorry, she always left me cold. I listened to the book on tape. I am in the car a lot. I am still "reading" the Stephanie Plum series. I really prefer Ranger and I wonder if the author is steering Stephanie toward him. Joe Morelli loves the idea of Stephanie, but he doesn't know her at all. Ranger understands her and trusts her on a much better emotional level. Joe want to turn her into a "cupcake" his "little wife"- NOT that there is anything wrong with choosing to be a homemaker, if YOU choose it. He seems to expect her to give up her job and her life to be married to him. It's like the old WWI song says "How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm, after they've seen Par-ree?" I doubt she would be happy trying to be the domestic goddess her mother is. Stephanie's idea of fine dining is a peanut-butter and olive sandwich ( What is it about fictional detectives and peanut-butter sandwiches? Kinsey Milhone makes peanut-butter and pickle sandwiches!) I hope she doesn't "Settle" for what everyone expects of her and that she follows her heart. Unlike the Kinsey series, which is thankfully wheezing to an end, these are numbered and may go on until Steph gets a walker. I stopped reading the Kinsey series when I realized what a judgmental pig Kinsey has become. Every woman has some flaw that she needs to point out ( mostly she fat-shames) and every man is either old and balding or wants to jump her bones. I don't like what Henry has become either. I don't like the people in these books, so why would I "hang out" with them?
I woke up thinking about first lines from books that draw you in "Last Night I dreamed I went to Manderly again." and "Call me Ishmael" Books that have an immediate "voice to them. "The Outsiders" was one such book for me. It was the first "teen" book I read, back when the genre was not as thriving as it is now. Teens were the forgotten readers and it may be why so many teens did not read once we reached Junior High. We were force fed "classic" literature, which ( and I can say this, I have a degree in English) was downright BORING. Recently I discovered a mash up of Jane Austen called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" Not THAT is something I could get my teeth into. Instead of being the simpering fortune hunting girls, the Sisters Bennet are..... NINJAS, well sort of ninjas, they are trained in the shaolin form of martial arts and are deadly and somewhat crass. I liked Lizzie MUCH better. Can I admit to NOT being an Austenite? Sorry, she always left me cold. I listened to the book on tape. I am in the car a lot. I am still "reading" the Stephanie Plum series. I really prefer Ranger and I wonder if the author is steering Stephanie toward him. Joe Morelli loves the idea of Stephanie, but he doesn't know her at all. Ranger understands her and trusts her on a much better emotional level. Joe want to turn her into a "cupcake" his "little wife"- NOT that there is anything wrong with choosing to be a homemaker, if YOU choose it. He seems to expect her to give up her job and her life to be married to him. It's like the old WWI song says "How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm, after they've seen Par-ree?" I doubt she would be happy trying to be the domestic goddess her mother is. Stephanie's idea of fine dining is a peanut-butter and olive sandwich ( What is it about fictional detectives and peanut-butter sandwiches? Kinsey Milhone makes peanut-butter and pickle sandwiches!) I hope she doesn't "Settle" for what everyone expects of her and that she follows her heart. Unlike the Kinsey series, which is thankfully wheezing to an end, these are numbered and may go on until Steph gets a walker. I stopped reading the Kinsey series when I realized what a judgmental pig Kinsey has become. Every woman has some flaw that she needs to point out ( mostly she fat-shames) and every man is either old and balding or wants to jump her bones. I don't like what Henry has become either. I don't like the people in these books, so why would I "hang out" with them?
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Old Friends
I had lunch with an old - or should I say Long TIME- friend yesterday. It's wonderful when you see someone after a long time and fall back into conversation as if no time at all had passed. We had about fifteen years of catching up to do and didn't even scratch the surface. We made plans to get together here for dinner. I love having people in our home, but looking around I realize I have a lot of rearranging to do around here. The holiday season is fast approaching too! Where did the year go?
The internet has reconnected me with so many people in my past. Sometimes, it's good to just have some sort of closure with someone, things you meant to say to them. When you get together, you realize that they cannot be part of your life anymore, they are still nice people, but you don't have the same things in common that brought you together in the first place. Sometimes you find new common ground, and sometimes the bond of the past is so strong that you become friends again in a different way; finding new territory to cover. I recently saw that a former colleague was friends with someone I had gone to college with and had worked on the literary magazine with. I tried to send a "Friend" request but she has maxed out, so I said "hello" via my friend's page and sent my former classmate a pm. I haven't heard from her and frankly don't expect to at this point. When she knew me, I was a silly nineteen year old and she was a very focused mother of one with one on the way. She had and has an incredible amount of talent and I was happy to see her star rise. It's funny, but when I watch people I know achieve success in their field, I don't feel anything but happy for them. This woman had many terrible things happen in her life, but she chose to use them as stepping stones to help her rise, not millstones to weigh her down. She's a filmmaker and maybe I should just get her films on Netflix and watch them again.
My friend invited me to go line dancing with her and when I mentioned it to Chris he said I should go. I reminded him I have fatal two left feet syndrome. I love to dance I just do it badly. A few years ago, I went to a Zyedco concert, where they had instructors teaching you the steps. The friend I went with got it right away, but I was so BAD I confused the instructor!!!! Ah well, I have fun wherever I go and whatever I do. I can laugh at myself and accept that I will never wow Baryshnikov with my dancing skills. Life is a smorgasbord, so much to sample to see if you like the taste of something new.
The internet has reconnected me with so many people in my past. Sometimes, it's good to just have some sort of closure with someone, things you meant to say to them. When you get together, you realize that they cannot be part of your life anymore, they are still nice people, but you don't have the same things in common that brought you together in the first place. Sometimes you find new common ground, and sometimes the bond of the past is so strong that you become friends again in a different way; finding new territory to cover. I recently saw that a former colleague was friends with someone I had gone to college with and had worked on the literary magazine with. I tried to send a "Friend" request but she has maxed out, so I said "hello" via my friend's page and sent my former classmate a pm. I haven't heard from her and frankly don't expect to at this point. When she knew me, I was a silly nineteen year old and she was a very focused mother of one with one on the way. She had and has an incredible amount of talent and I was happy to see her star rise. It's funny, but when I watch people I know achieve success in their field, I don't feel anything but happy for them. This woman had many terrible things happen in her life, but she chose to use them as stepping stones to help her rise, not millstones to weigh her down. She's a filmmaker and maybe I should just get her films on Netflix and watch them again.
My friend invited me to go line dancing with her and when I mentioned it to Chris he said I should go. I reminded him I have fatal two left feet syndrome. I love to dance I just do it badly. A few years ago, I went to a Zyedco concert, where they had instructors teaching you the steps. The friend I went with got it right away, but I was so BAD I confused the instructor!!!! Ah well, I have fun wherever I go and whatever I do. I can laugh at myself and accept that I will never wow Baryshnikov with my dancing skills. Life is a smorgasbord, so much to sample to see if you like the taste of something new.
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